THE VEIL

Chapter 18

3rd November 1981 - Descent

DAY 1
The Death Eaters that were already behind the bars cheered and jeered at Sirius as the aurors brought him through the prison. Some chanted "One of us!" others shouting "Hail Black! He killed the Rat!"
So far the dementors presence was dimmed as the aurors had patronus charms active around them as they moved towards his cell. He had been stripped of all his possessions before arriving and given his prison clothes. The only thing he fought to keep was a plaited leather bracelet with a silver clasp. But they had taken that as well.

They opened a cell door, unlike the others and walked him in. Unlike most of the other cells that were all open at the front, his door was solid except for a barred square at the top, and a small sliding hatch for food. He had a tiny square window heavily barred, A toilet and a pallet with a very thin mattress. He was holding the blanket he would have for the duration for his stay, eternity. There was a dementor posted just on the other side of his door, he was told would be there every hour of every day. They unchained his neck hands and feet and stepped out of the cell wands trained on him the whole time.

With them went the patronus charms and the coldness began to permeate into his soul. The door slammed shut with finality locks, both physical and magical slid into place. The aurors said nothing, they simply walked away and out of the prison. Sirius looked around at his cell it was a perfect five by five. He saw the dementor move outside his door, trying to get closer. He was after all a fresh meal to them. He backed away to the farthest corner of his cell, wrapping the blanket around him. All he kept thinking about was the witch that was in the hospital ward at St Mungo's who he didn't know if she had woken up or not. The witch that he had promised he would go back to. The witch lying in a hospital bed, healing from a broken body and now with a broken promise and a broken heart. Today was the 3rd November 1981. His twenty first birthday was in the most feared wizards prison of Europe.

Day 10
There was cheering and movement outside his cell and despite the dementors presence he watched as aurors brought in the Lestranges and Barty Crouch Junior. They were put into cells as heavily guarded as his. His cousin Bellatrix, was put into the cell opposite his in the corridor. She saw him after the aurors left and smiled. The smile didn't reach her eyes.
"Hello cousin. It's been a while." She sneered. Sirius remained silent. Silence was the only thing that he had right now. Opening your mouth meant you would scream. He refused to allow them the luxury of his jailers hearing him scream. Bella watched him, her smile still across her features.

"Nothing to say to your cousin, Sirius? I know your brother had things to say." He knew that she was taunting him. He had kept an eye out when he entered, but his brother was not here. He had a sinking feeling in his gut long before he ended up here that his brother had met his end. Black moved away from the window. Bella's voice however still carried, "Reggie was such a naughty little boy. Our master was most displeased. So much that our master personally made an example of him."

He heard the enjoyment in her voice as she taunted him with information he really wished he never knew. He had only been here a short time, but prisoners talked. They talked about so many things. Most of it was useless. But there were some things, like how happy many were that Peter had died. He knew the truth. Peter transformed to the rat bastard that he was. He had suspected him, but James's trust in his friends, was what stayed his hand. The what if's and what may haves had begun to swirl around in his mind. One thing that burned through the doubts was that he knew Peter for what he was and he would one day find a way to make sure that the debts of life were paid in full upon his flesh. The only other thing that took up his thoughts were if Remus had gone to Hermione.

DAY 52
He hadn't slept in days. The screams from his fellow prisoners regularly pierced through the walls of his cell at random intervals day and night. If they weren't screaming they were begging, babbling or just talking to themselves. The dementors didn't care. They drifted up and down the corridors. It was the nights that the prison were silent though was when it was scariest. The silence never lasted long. Screams would eventually shatter the silence.

Sirius scratched the wall with a screw he had loosened from the pallet to mark his days on the wall. He had done it in blood, until he managed to prise the screw free. The what ifs and what may haves, swooped around his mind pecking away at him, exposing him to the rawness that he was innocent imprisoned. He heard that he had also been the only one without a trial. He tried not to wonder if they had would it have done him any good?

Sirius looked at the mark on the wall. And counted. 52 days from his first day. It was Christmas Day. The flap at the bottom of the door slid open and a tray was pushed through. Gruel again. Lovely.

Day 144
He had lasted this long before his cries were heard through the prison. They sounded like howls of a soul being ripped from him. They were so shocking the other prisoners had stopped in their own decaying stages of madness to listen. The first thing that broke through the howling cries were a cackle coming from Bellatrix's cell. As if she had been waiting to see how long it was before he cracked.

Today was meant to be James's birthday. Lily's Birthday had already been but it was James's birthday that broke him. James would have been 22. James would have been celebrating his birthday with Lily and Harry. With him and Remus. The dirty traitor never was in his imaginings. There was a girl with curly brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, that were still in his imaginings.

But they were dead or gone or wished him dead. He was stuck in his five by five and his world was ruined by one man. He knew that he must have been responsible for Marly's death as well. It made sense. Yet the only death he couldn't blame on him was his brother. Reggie. He blamed himself for that one. The memories of that morning his brother showed up repeated over and over.

So Did James and Lily's faces when he saw them lifeless in the house. And Harry crying in Hagrid's arms. He cursed and wished that he had fought harder for his godson. The what if's and what may have's pecked away at him some more.

Day 919
Howls echoed again through the corridors of the prison. By now most of the prisoners were used to it. There were still some newer prisoners and they generally wet themselves first time they heard it. His howling screams were not like the others. They pierced through the veils of their souls with a fright almost more scary than the stark coldness of the dementors.

The dementors did not like these howls. It cut off their meals as almost everyone felt the fears of the man crying out alone in his cell with scratches one the wall. It would have been Lily and James fifth wedding anniversary. Five years when he had danced with his fairy princess with chocolate brown eyes and lush brown curls. He had stopped hoping that she would come. He now prayed that she would not come. He did not want to see her as he fell further and further from reality.

The flap in the door opened and the tray opened, meatloaf and bread. He kept the bread and ate the meat. The bread would help with the slop they were usually given after they got meat. Sirius watched the small square of sun move across the floor. He had since marked out the floors in which to tell time. The walls were his calendar and his canvas.

DAY 1366
Sirius had begun talking to himself, all the long term prisoners did by now. It was the only way you could keep exercising your voice. Sometimes he sat and listened. Sometimes he discussed ways in which to hunt and kill a rat. Sometimes he quoted Shakespeare. Sometimes he just spoke to his brother. Apologising. He couldn't speak to James or Lily. He could not look at them, nor Marlene.

He watched as they dragged another dead prisoner from their cell. The newer ones never seemed to last very long. He paid it all no heed. It was the action outside of his cell that broke up the monotony. His canvas had taken shape. The scratches that marked the days were growing. He never lost count. Today would be little Harry's fifth birthday. He wondered absently where the little boy was; glad now that he didn't have to live with the man that told his father to make someone else secret keeper.

He started to cry. He missed James every single day. He missed his brown haired fairy. He wanted to kill that son of a fucking bitch that destroyed his world. He had the ring he wanted to give her in the pocket of his pants when he was arrested. He was standing at the destruction laughing. He was laughing in the prison. Bellatrix watched through her cell at him with dead eyes. He stared back, eyes equally dull.

Day 1781
Sirius knew that this day was an important one, but he had so many days that were important they seemed to bleed together. All he knew that he felt like singing. And so he sang. A lullaby, he forgot where he had heard it only that the voice that once sang it was not his. His voice had grown ragged in the time he came here. His voice used to be cultured and almost musical. It would turn a curly head to face him and chocolate brown eyes to light up at it. He doubted that his voice would do that now. He doubted the words of the lullaby he sang. But he kept singing.

Someone down the corridor cried aloud. Mutterings of another would whisper down. Whispers were what woke him these days. He forgot why the whispers were important but they were. He would jump up and hang from the bars of the window and look to the horizon. He could glimpse the ocean below and the line where the sky and the water met. Sometimes he felt the wind when he hung there watching the little square of the world outside his five by five.

His wall was covered more and more with scratches. His canvas seemed almost complete. That was something that made him sad. He remembered today was important but could not remember exactly why. He knew wanted to sing a lullaby. And so he sang. And sang. And sang; until the cell grew dark. He curled up in his blanket and felt like he was five. But he didn't want his fairy princess here. He shouted to her to stay away. This was not a place for pure shining fairies with brown curls and chocolate eyes.

DAY 1930
The moon was rising from the line of the world he saw from his little square window. It was so big and perfectly round. It lit up his cell in pale silvery light. It lit up memories that stirred within him from nights when he would transform and play with a wolf and a stag. There was a rat but he pushed it firmly from the memories. This memory was of the night a brown haired girl awoke in the wolf's bed. She was so scared. She was so beautiful. She was so perfect.

Sirius dropped to the floor of his cell and transformed. Howling to the moon. Wondering if the wolf was doing the same to the same moon, and if the stag ran through the forest. He howled for mischief and secrets and midnight runs to the kitchens for delicious eclairs. He howled for another black haired boy with grey eyes. He howled for the promise to hunt the rat that ran amuck in his perfect memories.

DAY 2191
He was 27 years old today. He grinned out the window in the door. Bella stared back at him. She had stopped smiling years ago. She snarled at his overly cheery disposition. It only fuelled the need for him to keep smiling. He was 27 years old. He had spent 6 years to the day in this cell. He judged that it wasn't so bad. He remembered his mother used to do far worse than locking someone in a room for doing nothing wrong.

He laughed. This is what had happened to him. But only this time it had not been his mother. The ministry of magic were responsible for locking him away. Bad Sirius. You were only doing good. Bad Sirius. For finding the one responsible. Bad Sirius. For trying to find justice for the death of his best friends. Bad Sirius. For breaking a broken girls heart. Bad Sirius. For not killing the rat that ruined it all.

Day 2389
Six Years, Six Months and Six Days. Sirius awoke. The Moon was hidden behind clouds and the cell was pitch black. The square in his door the darkest square. Something was different. The sounds were different. The wind as different. A whispering. A soft caressing breeze. A scent. Her scent.

"Sirius?" A whisper.