Mortal Kartoons I
CHAPTER 1: RON STOPPABLE

Going backwards in the chronicles of Mortal Kombat, visions ranging from Omi's resurrection, to Boog being fitted with his new mechanical arms, to Foghorn Leghorn pledging his alliance to Samurai Jack, to the invasion of Earthrealm, and so many other visions played in the Thunder God's mind. Samurai Jack blinked once before placing a hand on his head.

Noticing that, Omi looked worried. "Samurai Jack, what is wrong?"

The Thunder God replied, "Strange visions." It was then a chiming noise could be heard. As Samurai Jack looked down, he noticed a crack in the center of his amulet.

"Your amulet!" said Omi in concern.

". . . It is nothing, Omi. The tournament is about to start."

It was then that the banging of the drums could be heard as monks entered the scene. Amongst the Kombatants looking on were Ron Stoppable and Kim Possible in one group; Steelbeak (still as a Cryomancer), Raimundo Pedrosa (still human) with his arms folded across his chest, and Hannibal Roy Bean (also still human) in a second group; Tarzan all by himself in a third group; and Barnyard Dawg and Freak-Show in a fourth group. Up top, overlooking the monks, were (from left to right) Kimiko Tohomiko, Mary Melody, Walter Wolf, and Dag.

Holding up his hand, Walter silently beckoned the monks to sit down and the banging of the drums to cease before the old sorcerer spoke. "Kombatants, I am Walter Wolf. In the coming days, each of you will fight. Some of you were brought here by your own privilege . . ." Walter then looked over in Ron's direction before finishing, "while others were brought here by chance."

And speaking of Ron, the actor started flirting in front of Kim. "Hey beautiful—Ron Stoppable."

Kim, on the other hand, didn't care one bit. "Good for you."

Frowning, the actor raised an eyebrow. "What? Massive Strike? Citizen Stoppable? Ninja Mime? None of those ring a bell?"

While still ignoring the cocky actor, the young lieutenant then noticed a short man wearing a Stetson hat with red hair and a long, bushy red moustache and a laser eye covering most of the right side of his face walking coolly into the scene.

Two words escaped out of Kim's mouth with hatred: "Yosemite Sam."

"Yosemite Sam?" asked Ron, thinking it was the title of a movie before shrugging his shoulders. "Wasn't in that one."

"You participate in the most important Mortal Kombat in history!" continued Walter. "This tournament, the tenth out of nine Outworld victories, will determine Earthrealm's fate. If you defeat all of your opponents, you will face one final challenge . . . me." With that, Walter smiled evilly.

Chuckling, Ron was still talking to Kim as he stated, "Huh! That old geezer's the final challenge? They might as well give me the belt right now. . . . They do have belts, right?"

"Ahem!" said a voice, clearing their throat, from behind the young actor. Turning around, Ron was startled to see that Walter was behind him.

"What?" Ron was baffled. "How did you—?"

Before the actor could say another word, the greedy sorcerer stated, "Appearances can be deceiving." With his hands behind his back, he then floated back to his chair on a green disk-like cloud. "The first Kombatant will be Mr. Stoppable."

". . . Yeah, that's right! That's right! Who's it gonna be?" asked Ron as he walked into the arena.

"Randall Boggs!" announced Walter. Hearing a growl coming from the roof of a distant pagoda, the Kombatants looked up to see the Lizard-like monster materialize out of his camouflage. Randall then leapt off and landed in the arena.

The actor nodded as he grinned. "Nice stunt. Who's your agent?"

"Begin!" shouted Walter.

"All right—it's showtime!"

After several minutes of fighting, Ron gave Randall an uppercut to his chin and sent the monster on his back, subconscious and unable to fight.

"Boo-yah! He just got stopped by the Stoppable!" cheered Ron, while Omi and Samurai Jack looked at the actor in the background. "That's it! Haha, oh yeah! I am so awesome!" Ron went over to a group of people before pointing at them and saying, "I'm taking you down, I'm taking you down, I'm taking you out, I'm taking you out, I'm taking you out . . ." He paused for a second as he was pointing at Kim, before smiling, ". . . for dinner, heh-heh."

Rolling her eyes, Kim groaned in annoyance before blowing a lock of hair out of her face.

"Now for your second challenge, Mr. Stoppable . . . Dag!" announced Walter.

"RAWR!" snarled Dag before jumping from where Walter seated himself and into the arena.

"Hmm, okay," said Ron, "nice makeup, but is it really necessary?"

It was then that Dag's Tarkatan blades extended out of his arms before sharpening them a couple times in a bloodthirsty manner.

"Whoa!" breathed out Ron in amazement.

"They will taste your flesh!" evilly stated Dag.

After another couple minutes of fighting, along with two accounts of narrowly escaping Dag's blades (only to end up with shallow tear marks in his tuxedo), Ron managed to defeat the Tarkatan general with a blow betwixt the eyes, making Dag keel over subconsciously.

"Man, I love those blades!" smiled Ron before kneeling over and speaking to Dag some more. "My producer has got to meet you! We're doing Tommy Scissor-Fists, and—"

"Congratulations, Mr. Stoppable," irritably interrupted Walter before speaking further, "now finish him!"

"'Finish him'?" asked the actor, thinking the sorcerer was joking. "Yeah, right!"

"Kill him!" shouted Walter in anger.

Ron paused for a moment as he looked about at the other Kombatants in a dumbfound way. "Whoa! Whoa, whoa—wait a second! I'm not gonna kill anyone!"

An astonished Omi looked at Samurai Jack by what Ron just said.

Looking peeved, Walter angrily spoke, "Very well. . . . The Tournament will resume at dawn!"

And with that, everyone but Samurai Jack and Omi started leaving, while two masked guards helped Dag get back on his feet. Ron looked around at the leaving spectators, confused. "What, is that it? Really?" Shrugging, the cocky actor decided to leave as well as he rubbed his hands for he had a certain someone on his mind. "Now where'd that hottie go?"

Before Ron could leave, the Thunder God and the monk approached the actor.

Samurai Jack nodded once to the cocky actor. "You fought well."

Ron smirked. "Thanks. Nice hat."

Omi gave the actor a dirty look. "You should be more respectful of Samurai Jack. He is the God of Thunder, the protector of Earthrealm, the—"

"Look, I dunno what kind of role-playing you guys are into," interrupted Ron, "but count me out."

As the actor tried to leave, Omi stepped in front of him, speaking. "The tournament is more than a chance at personal glory. We are fighting for the very survival of Earthrealm."

Ron looked at the monk confused. "What're you talking about?"

"Your last opponent, Dag, was Tarkatan—" stated Samurai Jack—"he was born with those blades."

"Right," said the actor sarcastically, "those blades are real."

"He represents Outworld—had you lost, the emperor Aku would have been one step closer to physically absorbing our world into his."

"Outworld, yeah right, right . . ." Ron nodded on in sarcasm and carelessness.

"The Elder Gods created the Mortal Kombat to give Earthrealm a chance to defend itself, but for the tournament we're in now, Aku would conquer all."

"DUN DUN DUNNNN! Look guys, I'm an actor—I save the world for the cameras. If that 'emperor' is really a threat, call the military. Me, I got a date with a red-haired, green-eyed beauty. Ciao!" And with that, Ron left Samurai Jack and Omi to themselves.

"What do you see in him?" asked Omi.

"He is a hero, Omi," answered Samurai Jack, "though he may not know it yet."

Down in the pit, Marines lieutenant Kim Possible was busy talking to somebody from Special Forces.

". . . triangulating your signal for evac, but . . ." said somebody through the crackle and fuzz in Kim's wrist-comm, "there is no island."

Kim was starting to become irate at the progression of things. "I'm standing right on it. Just lock onto my wrist-comm."

It was then that Ron entered the scene, finally able to catch up to the female lieutenant.

"Understood. What's your current status?" asked the male voice from Kim's wrist-comm while the blond-haired actor walked towards her.

"They have Boog," confirmed Kim, "and if I don't fight in the crazy tournament, they'll kill him. I'm gonna try to—"

"Need any help?" Ron asked suavely. "I specialize in rescuing damsels in distress."

"Ugh! You again. Listen, I've got serious problems here, and I'm not about to be hit on by some movie star."

"Come on, a girl like you shouldn't be wandering around with these freaks by herself."

With that, Kim attempted to leave before Ron grabbed her by the arm. "Look, honey, I can't let you run loose without an escort."

The last thing the actor suspected was Kim punching him in the gut and giving him another punch to the jaw, sending him backwards and landing on his back. As Ron quickly recuperated, he saw the Marines lieutenant get in a fighting stance.

"I don't need an escort, and I am sure as heck not your 'honey'!" declared an infuriated Kim.

Some minutes of fighting passed by before Ron spun around low and knocked Kim off of her feet. Jumping back up, the actor looked down at the lieutenant with a smirk. "Haha! Not bad for a . . ." the actor then frowned . . . "girl."

Looking humbled, Ron attempted to help Kim up on her feet as he extended a hand. "Look, sorry about that."

While she had herself picked up halfway, Kim slapped Ron's hand out of the way in anger. "I don't need your help!"

Raising his hands, the actor started backing away. "Okay, have it your way. I'll just leave you to your . . . problems."

Unbeknownst to the actor, Yosemite Sam walked up behind him and, despite his shorter stature, picked Ron up with ease. "Good idear, ya karate-choppin' greenhorn!"

After Sam threw him over the edge, Ron screamed as he fell to his doom.

Chuckling evilly, the scruffy man walked up to Kim. "Now he's softens ya up a little, it's my turn."

Through gritted teeth, the Marines lieutenant hissed at Sam. "Not man enough for a fair fight?"

"I don't do 'fair.'"

Under the bridge, hanging by a stalactite as he overheard the conversation, was Ron, whose shades fell off. After staring down at the sharp spikes from below, the actor heard the ping sound from Sam's laser eye, followed by Kim screaming in pain from it.

Casually, Yosemite Sam stated, "No need to get up, love." That was followed by more shots from his laser eye and more screaming from Kim. Hearing that started to irk Ron.

"So tell me, missy," continued Sam from up top, "how's things back at Command?" Concluding that sentence, Sam fired off his laser eye on Kim another couple times. Angry, Ron started climbing back up.

"Slime-ball!" snapped the lieutenant.

The ruffian of a man chuckled evilly, still on the subject of Command. "Gullible wench. Just had to points ya in the wrong direction. Couldn't have dones it without ya!"

"S.F. is on the way!" declared Kim. "You won't get far!"

Ron almost slipped as he was climbing, but he built up the strength to continue on after a second.

"Oh, I've got a knack fer survival, missy—" retorted the ruffian—"you on the other hand 'r gonna die!"

Hearing enough of what Yosemite Sam was spewing out, Ron used all his power to jump back on top of the bridge (all while whipping out and putting on his spare shades as he was in midair.)

Landing between Kim and Sam, Ron crouched into a fighting stance, looking angrily at Sam. "Step away from the lady!"

Cracking his neck, Yosemite Sam glared at the actor.

"You know," smirked the cocky actor, "everybody thinks that my stunts are all wires and special effects. The truth is . . . I am the special effects."

After several minutes of fighting and avoiding Sam's daggers, Ron swiftly moved in, kicked the scruffy man once in the gut, and while Yosemite Sam doubled over, the actor jumped up and pound-drove him in the back, rendering him incapacitated.

"Throw that on your . . . barbie . . . shrimp!" declared Ron, trying to figure out a good comeback as he looked down at Sam. With that, Ron turned away to face Kim.

The Marines lieutenant was on her knees still and had a thin yet grateful smile on her face. "Thanks."

"No problem. Who was that guy anyway?" asked Ron. He then offered his hand to her, but with hesitation, unsure of whether or not she needed his help still.

Looking at Ron blankly for a moment, Kim then smirked as she offered him her hand and allowed the actor to help her up.

"His name's Yosemite Sam. He was our informant in the Black Dragon Clan investigation. Big-time arms dealers. Turned out that he was their leader giving us the run-around. Lot of our guys got killed because of him."

"So that's not a costume? You're actual military?" asked Ron.

Kim nodded once. "Special Forces."

"Get out! So you know about the whole 'threat to the world' stuff, right? Samurai Jack called in the cavalry."

The young lieutenant looked confused for a moment. "Samurai Jack? No idea who you're talking about." She then looked behind the actor to see that Sam was gone, to both their surprises.

"Darn!" hissed Kim to herself.

"He can't be far!" stated Ron with determination.

Facing Ron again, Kim continued as she extended a hand, "He'll have to wait. I appreciate your help, Stoppable."

After shaking hands with her, the actor nodded once. "Ron."

"But right now I've got things to take care of. My C.O. is locked up somewhere on the island. I need to find him."

And with that, Kim walked onward in search of her commanding officer, all while Ron just stared.