Hello everyone,

next chapter and still in Japan.

Thanks for the reviews.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them anymore than you.

After a big breakfast I go back to bed. I am still way too tired and both Linali and Kanda told me to sleep. I only did go though when Kanda promised to try to sleep a bit as well. But from what Linali told me he didn't rest much. Lunch is delicious and I shock my friends with my food combinations.

In the afternoon we all go on a long walk, visiting sites of our childhood. The Lees are showing us around the city. I am excited to see our old school, park and cinema again, but on the other hand I feel sad, knowing that we will never all just go there together without a care in the world. I can't help but remember Linali's words when she visited us.

'Sometimes I wish it was like back then again.We all five together with no death, rape or sickness.'

I wish so too. I can nearly see the five carefree teens walking through the swinging doors of the cinema. Kanda scowling, while Alma tries to sooth him, Lavi an arm over my shoulder, babbling away into my ear and Linali watching us all, hiding her giggles behind her hand. My heart clenches painfully at the thought of how much has changed and what has become of these five. Automatically I squeeze Kanda's hand which I am holding.

I grabbed it relatively at the beginning under the reason of wanting support. By now I have the impression it is just as much mental support for him as it is physical and psychological for me. Of course I see him tense every time we near a site that reminds him of Alma. I agree with Linali that it did him good to leave Japan, not only because he could help me.

When it goes towards evening I am exhausted. It was nice to see my old home town, but all the emotions and walking I had to endure do not sit well with me, seven months pregnant. Kanda has to practically carry me back to the house, but he doesn't seem to mind all that much.

I take a short nap before dinner. Again I eat about as much the other three together. After eating Kanda wants to leave again, but a stern look from the girl and puppy dog eyes from me (hurray for hormones) convince him otherwise and I enjoy his closeness for the time being. Soon though Linali sends us both to bed, saying we were up far too long last night.

Unfortunately this night is even worse than the last. Nightmares are not leaving me for one minute.

Sometime around midnight I shoot up screaming. Gripping my hair and belly hard and panting I try to banish the dream from my mind. Trying to banish Alma's mangled body, his dead eyes and his chanting of "Why did you leave?". Kanda in a pool of blood with cuts on his neck, Mugen in his hand and covered in his own blood. Banishing the Noahs standing over the dead bodies of my friends, bloody knives still in hand. Kanda's lifeless eyes, accusing me. Adam, the leader of the Noah clan, dangling a small bloody form carelessly. I know it was the baby I am currently carrying. Shaking I try to regulate my breathing. My child kicks me harshly, reminding me that it is indeed still alive and well.

I can't even think about going back to sleep again though. At least not here alone. Hearing the sounds from the next room an idea comes to my mind. Hope filling my chest I grab my pillow and slowly move out of the bed on unsteady feet. Carefully I trudge over to the dark door. Steeling myself I take a deep breath and softly knock on the wood.

Hearing no answer after a short time, I carefully open the door.

"Kanda?" I say softly.

"Moyashi?" he murmurs, "What are you doing here? It's in the middle of the night."

Gaining courage I step in completely, "I… I had a nightmare." I stutter, fumbling with my pillow in nervousness.

"Are you a little child?" he sighs, "And what the fuck am I supposed to do now?"

"Can I…" I take a deep breath, "C-Can I sleep here tonight?"

"What?" he asks sleepily.

"Please, I… I can't go back to sleep alone again. I am too afraid. I need to be sure someone is there for me. And-And maybe it will do you good as well to feel a living being next to you," I plead.

I hear him sigh and his hand runs through his long strands, "Fine, moyashi. But don't disturb me."

My face lights up that much, I am surprised I am not actually glowing in the dark. Hurriedly I move over to Kanda's bed. He shuffles a bit to the side and I throw my pillow on the bed. His cobalt eyes are gleaming in the dark, focused on me with an emotion I can't place. I smile, showing him how relieved I am about this. Slowly I slide under the covers, relishing in Kanda's body heat and his scent. Immediately my body, nearly without my command, scoots over, cuddling close into Kanda's side and warmth.

"Oi, moyashi. That wasn't…" he starts but stops when he feels my body completely relax.

I don't know if he thinks I have already fallen asleep or just wants to let me do anything for the baby's sake, but soon I feel him lay down completely as well. To my surprise I feel strong arms going around me and pulling me into a hard chest. I sigh contentedly. Together we drift asleep fast. None of us has any more nightmares that night.

The next morning we are not even woken up by Linali. She apparently is so content with us sleeping cuddled together (or finds it too cute), that she lets us sleep in, knowing we both need it. So I wake up to sun rays shining straight onto my eyelids.

I mumble unwillingly and slowly drag myself out of the depths of sleep. I am still surrounded by this calming warmth and Kanda's soft scent. When I open my eyes, I come directly face to face with him, well more like his chin (damned height difference). Looking up, I realise he is actually still sleeping. His eyes are closed and his breathing regular and slow. Studying his face, I can't help but see how soft, relaxed and kind of innocent he looks in his sleep. The only time he looks like that I guess. Very carefully I lift my right hand and trace his features, running my hand through his silky hair where it falls over his face. He doesn't seem to notice, instead leans into my touch. Suddenly his eyes snap open. For a moment they are wild and somehow frightened. But when they spot me instead of an enemy he relaxes.

"Good morning, Kanda," I smile at him.

"Morning, moyashi. No more nightmares?" he mumbles back.

I smile even wider, "No, none. Thank you."

He only shrugs and sits up, "You should go eat something, you know. It's nearly eleven o'clock."

I pout at him and stick my tongue out, but he ignores it. Smiling inwardly I walk back to my room to get ready. I meet him on the top of the stairs when I am finished. His hair is still down and I have to stop myself from grabbing it. Outstretching a hand towards me he nods in the direction of the kitchen. I smile and gladly take the hand.

Linali only grins at us when we come down, causing me to blush. Then she tells us that Lavi will arrive tomorrow afternoon. To be honest I have mixed emotions about seeing the red head. Of course I am incredibly happy to see him again. But on the other hand I am afraid to see how much he may have changed and that he will make Kanda's mental state even worse with his constant teasing. Plus, most likely he will tease me endlessly about my child and the fact that I am living with my crush.

The girl also says that the memorial starts on Saturday at ten o'clock in the morning. We will all be assembling on the cemetery. There I will meet the rest of our former friend circle, including Tiedoll, Kanda's adoptive father. Alma's parents apparently can't come, like last year, because they are too busy to do who knows what on the other side of the earth. What kind of parents are they, not going to their only child's memorial? But even when the boy still lived they were only rarely there, making him life alone from a young age on. Later he actually spent most nights at Tiedoll's house in a room close to Kanda's.

Kanda immediately stiffens when the subject of the memorial comes up and I understand him, so I only rub the back of his hand with my thumb. Linali smiles and says how happy she is that we found each other and can support the other. Kanda glares at her, but she only grins and sets to preparing something to eat.

Later that day we go out to buy me some mourning clothes. Maternity edition, bah. Because there weren't all that many acceptable clothes back in England I only have a few clothes that still fit me and they are all, let's say it nicely, pretty colourful. So I need others for the memorial. To my surprise I discover that there is a far better variety here in Japan. (Plus the people are not that tall here and the length of the clothes fits me better.) Because I have only so few Linali buys me other clothes as well.

The evening goes by calmly. In the night though I have a very hard time falling asleep and from the sounds next door Kanda is not doing much better. So I take all my courage and walk over to the other room once again. This time the raven doesn't even ask, just moves aside. I happily crawl into bed next to him, cuddling close as good as I can (damned bulge getting in the way). Again the nightmares avoid us.

That's it for today. Thanks for reading.

I am not sure whether there is going to be a chapter this weekend because I won't have my laptop during that time. Perhaps on Friday, but if not see you again next Wednesday and please review.