Hello everyone,

alright, sorry, sorry, sorry...

I know I'm late, but like I said I have problems with my internet and now my laptop is adding more to it. Sometimes I hate that thing

Anyway thanks for the reviews.

Warning for a quite OOC Kanda in this chapter. But hey, it's a pretty bad situation for him, he's allowed to be a bit emotional.

Disclaimer: Yeah, well...

And then it is here. The day of the memorial. I have slept in Kanda's arms again. Linali wakes us at half past eight. Silently we dress in the black clothing, Kanda pulls up his mane with an equally dark ribbon and I try to get my hair to lay how I want it. I will draw enough attention anyway with my belly and my white hair which will stand out like a beacon in all the black.

Kanda looks tired and the other two don't seem much better. Even Lavi is not talking all that much (for him anyway). The only one who looks about normal is Komui. We eat silently. When the clock strikes a quarter before ten, all four of us exchange a look and then head out. Komui has started the car and we get in. I actually get the passenger seat because it offers the most space.

I am totally not looking forward to what is going to happen today. First there will be some kind of reception where I will meet the rest of Kanda's family. From what the others said about how he changed I am actually kind of afraid to see Tiedoll. After everyone has arrived, there will be a small ceremony inside. Then we will go outside to Alma's memorial stone. Everyone who wants can say something about him and/or lay something down at the stone. Afterwards will be a meal, followed by some more talking. I am planning to visit Mana's grave when all is finished and I got Kanda to come with me.

During my musings we have arrived in front of the graveyard and the car stops. The others get out and I open my door. Outside Kanda is waiting for me and helping me up. For a moment, just as I stand upright, he pulls me into his arms, pressing my chest against his.

"Stay by my side today," he murmurs in my ear.

I smile softly and take his face in my hands, "Of course, you idiot. I would have done that anyway."

He nods and my hand clasps his. Together we walk to the place Linali, Lavi (who are also holding hands) and Komui are waiting. None of them comments on our joined hands, seeing them as a sign of comfort.

We enter the hall, only to notice that we are the first ones to arrive. I sigh and lean against Kanda, closing my eyes for a moment. Then we hear multiple sets of steps. Kanda nudges me to look towards the three newcomers. Tiedoll, Marie and a woman I have never seen before.

My shocked gaze fixes on Tiedoll. He looks as bad as Kanda said. His cheeks are fallen and the eyes have red rings. He shows signs of drinking and his clothes are in even more disarray than I remember. His formerly grey-brown hair is now completely grey and unbound. I shudder when I compare him to the happy, dramatic and sappy man from my memories. Kanda rubs my back, even though I notice a distant look in his eyes.

Marie doesn't look all that different. Still incredibly tall, muscled, bald and with earphones on his head. His milky eyes are unfocused, weaving over the five of us. There are more lines in his face though, showing his weariness and age older than he actually is. The woman by his side, who is practically hiding in the protective arm he has around her shoulders, looks very shy and nervous. She has slightly curly, black hair in a low ponytail and dark rings around her eyes indicate not enough sleep.

"Hello Kanda," Marie says in his deep voice, "You are doing better from what I can tell."

"Maybe. You could say that…" Kanda sighs.

Alma and Marie were the only people who Kanda got really along with. Even though they are not related by blood, the older is like a brother to him and they have a strong bond. Marie is blind from an accident before I met him, he doesn't talk about it, but he is the gentlest soul I have ever met.

"I am happy to see you here," the taller says and claps his brother on the shoulder.

"Yeah, you too, Marie. Miranda," Kanda answers.

The shy woman startles, "G-Good d-day, K-Kanda."

Kanda sighs, a pained look passing through his eyes, "How has it been going? With Tiedoll…?"

"Well, he has not gotten much worse," now it is Marie's turn to sigh and look at their adoptive father sadly, "But he hasn't gotten better either. There are still times when he hallucinates that Daisya and sometimes even Alma is back and we all are just ignoring them. He doesn't take as much medicine anymore, but I think he has been drinking more to compensate it."

Kanda nods, his hand clenching around mine. Tiedoll's state draws a gasp from me, which alerts Marie to my presence. A slight smile makes it's way onto his lips.

"But I see you found yourself your own charge, Kanda?"

"Che. I am sure you remember Allen," the raven answers.

"Of course I do. Is this him? I thought I recognized his voice," Marie smiles.

"Yes, I found him on the streets in London."

Marie frowns confused, "But from what I can hear there is more than one other person here. Isn't there? The heartbeat is faint but there."

I sigh but decide to answer in Kanda's stead, "That is because I am with child, Marie."

"Oh, that is unexpected. But it is very nice to hear your voice, Allen. To know that you are alive and safe. However I doubt this child is my brother's, is it?"

I shake my head sadly, "No, unfortunately it is not. But I don't really want to go into the details of this now."

"Of course, I am sorry. I hope Kanda has looked after you well."

"Oh yes, he has," I smile brightly at him, "He has given me so much more than I would have expected."

"What is that supposed to mean?" the tall man smirks, causing Kanda to scowl.

"No, not like that. Don't even think about it," he growls at his brother while I look between them confused.

While we were talking the rest of the people have arrived and Komui is calling us into the hall. Kanda takes my hand and leads me in, guiding me to one of the front row seats. After softly pushing me down, he sits next to me and Linali on my other side. Then the priest begins. Linali tells me, he is the same who did both funerals back then.

The ceremony consists of the usual words. My hand never leaves Kanda's and I feel that he needs it as a support as much as I do. Especially when the priest talks about what happened, the accident and I feel Kanda go stiff next to me. Softly I lay my head on his shoulder, assuring him I'm here. He forces his breathing to calm down and leans against me. I notice Marie shooting me a thankful look for being there for his brother.

I let Kanda take comfort in my warmth the whole ceremony through and at the same time, take the strength I need from him as well. When it is over he helps me up and we walk outside with the rest. None of us four says a word. Linali is crying in Lavi's shoulder and some tears are also running down my cheeks. Kanda doesn't cry, but I can see in his eyes that is having a hard time holding his psyche together. The hand not holding mine is rubbing his left chest side. Where his scars are, I realize with a start. Hurriedly I reach out and pull it away. I look deep into his eyes and shake my head. He sighs and avoids my gaze.

Once we arrive at the stone, he squares his shoulders, his hand still holding onto mine. First the priest reads out the (very short) statement Alma's parents sent. Then both Linali and Lavi say some words about him. I am not going to talk, it has been too long and I wouldn't know what to say anyway. After she is finished, Linali throws the raven next to me a stern look. He nods and pulls two sheets of paper out of his coat. He looks me in the eyes for a moment and I know that he wants to speak. I nod and slowly follow him to the front of the crowd. It is strange for me to see Kanda, who was always so strong needing me for support, but it also gives me a warm feeling. Then he takes a deep breath and starts.

"I know I should have said what I will say today, already last year or maybe even at the funeral. But I couldn't. As much as I hate to admit it, it hurt too much to do it. Now I am in the process of overcoming it and moving on, so I can now finally say what I should have long ago.

"Alma and I met in the orphanage I was brought to with eight years. The orphanage also organized a day-care and he was one of the children who were there every day. I was a loner, didn't want any contact with anyone. But he kept pestering and following me until I gave in. He was my first and forever best friend. Even later he was the one I was closest to, the one who knew about my drawings and my secrets. We had great times with our other three friends. And he helped me a lot when Allen disappeared. We helped each other. Later he confessed his love for me. Well, I was surprised, sure, but it felt good. In the end we came together. However that didn't last long.

"We weren't even one year a couple when he didn't turn up to a party he promised he would. I saw him being brought to hospital when I drove home that day. It was the worst day in my life as far as I can remember. The relief when they said the surgery was successful was big. I stayed by his side the whole time, asking him to wake up. But he didn't. Four days after his accident, I went home to take a shower and when I came back they told me he had internal bleeding and was operated on again. And then they said he didn't make it. I don't remember much after that for about a day. My friends told me I raged and screamed. Then the funeral three days later. I am pretty sure nobody could see it but for me that was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do. But I never cried.

"Through a combination of facts my life went into a downward spiral after that and it wouldn't have taken much so that everything would have been too late. But now I am starting to see the life again. I have decided to keep living for him. I am sure he would never want me to go on like I did. No, most likely he would hit me for it and call me stupid. However, I will never forget him and all he did for me. He will always be special for me and I will forever mourn him, but I will no longer dwell on the past. So I wanted to say thank you to him. And 'I love you too'. The one sentence I never said before it was too late. Farewell, my friend."

With that he ends and a lot of people have tears in their eyes. Seeing the usually cold Kanda give such an emotional speech means a lot. In the background Tiedoll is uncontrollably sobbing. Kanda himself bends down in front of the stone.

"Sorry, for all I did, Alma. And thank you for everything, I will never forget you. Here is the drawing you always wanted. I planned to give it to you at the party. I hope you can still see it."

He unrolls the papers and I see two drawings. One is of Alma alone, how I remember him. About seventeen years old, a grin on his face. Long bangs dangling around his face, the short hair at the back of his head standing away. The scar across his nose and the twinkle in his eyes. He is half-leaning, half-siting on a fallen tree, his hands on it. In front of him is a pond with lotuses in it. The second picture is of two boys, around the age of nine. One is unmistakably Alma, with the haircut, scar and grin. The other looks more serious with narrow eyes and shoulder length dark hair. With a start I realise that this is Kanda as a boy. Kanda has for the first time put himself in a picture. Well, his nine-year-old self but himself nonetheless. The boys are standing arm in arm in front of a big tree.

When Kanda straightens up again, his eyes meet mine and without a warning, he pulls me against him, pressing me as close as he dares with my belly. I instinctively grip him back, letting the tears go into his shoulder. I even feel one wet drop hit my temple. I don't exactly know how long we stand there like that when someone, most likely Lavi, starts to clap. Soon all of the crowd falls in and they are clapping for Kanda's speech and me being back. I smile slightly and hide my face in Kanda's shoulder. He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of my head, much to my delight.

He leads me back into the crowd and is immediately assaulted by Linali who throws herself around his neck, crying and murmuring things to him. After she lets go, Kanda gets another hug from Lavi, evades a jumping Tiedoll and gets a lot of claps on the shoulder.

The part in front of the stone is soon finished and we proceed to my favourite point, eating. Sitting between Kanda and Linali again I feel the emotional exhaustion finally taking hold of me and I doze off on Kanda's shoulder before the first course.

In the end Kanda excuses us early and drives me home. I decide that I have time to visit Mana's grave some other day. Today I am way too tired. Instead I let the raven help me out of the car and up to the rooms. Out of instinct I go in his, change clothes and lay down while he puts the car away. When he returns not long after, I am already dozing off, but I still notice him slipping in bed next to me and pulling me close. So I drift asleep while he watches over me. With the knowledge that I am safe it is a calm and strengthening sleep.

That's it for today. Thanks for reading.

Sweet speech from Kanda, don't you think? (Though I doubt he would do something like this in the original manga ^^')

I am not sure when I will upload the next chapter yet, sorry.

See you then anyway and please review.