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I don't know when Linali, Lavi and Komui returned. The next time I wake up, it is already Sunday morning. Kanda is gone, downstairs as I can hear. I dress back in my black outfit. Today we have some private mourning to remember our friend planned, so dark clothes again.

The four are sitting at the kitchen table, mostly nibbling at food and staring into cups of coffee. The day doesn't get much better later either.

Only in the evening can I finally see how the tension and sadness is starting to leave the others. Komui ends our day of remembering with fireworks. And only then I see again smiles on Linali's and Lavi's faces, sitting cuddled together in the back garden. I am leaning against Kanda, my eyes threatening to fall shut. It goes only very slow but the tension is also leaving his body and he relaxes into me. Because of the draining day I fall asleep soon, again to the feeling of Kanda running his fingers through my hair.

We decided that the day after this would be free for relaxing. And that's what I do, sleep. Most of the time. The past few days were emotionally draining. Kanda is there every time I wake up, drawing or reading and he makes sure I eat in between. When I'm awake and not eating I spend my time watching him.

Two days later I get Kanda to drive me to the cemetery again. I don't want to wait any longer to visit my adoptive father's grave. We buy flowers on the way there.

After helping me out of the car, Kanda wants to retreat his hand again, but I refuse to let him go. Today I need his support. He has gotten a lot better after the ceremony was over. He is still pretty snappy and a jerk, but at least he is back to his normal character. This being weak didn't fit him at all.

It takes us some time to find the grave because I accidently took the wrong row and Kanda wasn't there often enough to remember it properly. Finally we stand in front of a white marble stone. It is a bit grown over by plants. I try to get down and wipe them away but don't manage without fearing to squish my child. So Kanda lets go of me and kneels in front of the grave, pulling the green away. It gives way for the name on it.

Mana Walker

You were a saviour and had to part way too suddenly

I take a shuddering breath. He saved me from the streets after all. His death came out of nowhere back then. It was one day when I came home after school to an eerily silent house. He was laying over the piano we had, a stab wound over his heart. The police apparently didn't want to investigate and closed it off as a heart attack. The wound came from a small knife that had been laying on the piano and he had accidently fallen on it. Sure! None of us believed that, but what should we have done. So I inherited everything from him and arranged the funeral with the help of Tiedoll and Komui. I guess everything Mana left me has fallen to the Noahs after I disappeared, but that is not my concern. As long as none of them finds me I am happy.

After Kanda stands up again next to me, I put my hands together and close my eyes, to focus on Mana.

'Hello father,' I say mentally even though I know he can't hear me, 'I am sorry it has been three years since I was here the last time, but I couldn't return to Japan because of the Noahs, you know. Yeah, well, it has happened so much. I bet you are not exactly proud of my state right now, are you? Knocked up by a random stranger and crying again. But at least I am in good care. Kanda is so nice if you manage to get past that hard exterior. My greatest wish right now is that after this child is born I can still stay with him and maybe even keep the child. Anyway I still miss you a lot. Why did you have to leave? None of that would have happened if you were still alive. But enough of the sadness for now, I have already been grieving too much these past days because of Alma, I am sure this is not good for the child. That's why my visit today will be relatively short. If I can afford it or can stay with someone I will come again on your birthday. That should be after the child is born, so I have more time. Goodbye, father. I hope you are happy wherever you are, I have to return to my life.'

Tears are running down my face at the end of it and Kanda silently draws me into his arms, allowing me to just cry in his shoulder like some days ago. He strokes my back and murmurs something I can't understand.

It takes me some time to calm down, but when I do I smile up at Kanda through my veil of tears. He strokes some hair out of my face and then his lips touch my forehead.

"He was a great man, moyashi, and you were lucky to be his son. He loved you, even I could see that. I am pretty sure he will be proud of you no matter what you do."

I smile and nod, then turn back to the stone. My fingers run over the name once and I place the flowers we brought down. Then I take Kanda's hand again.

"See you again someday, father," I say and raise my hand one last time.

Then I turn and head to the gate. I freeze though when I think to see a dark-skinned figure standing in the shadows of the cemetery wall. One of the Noahs?! No, please not! I can neither run nor fight properly at the moment. But I blink once and the figure is gone. Was it only a hallucination? I guess so. I just want to breathe a sigh of relief when suddenly a hot, searing pain shoots through my abdomen. I gasp and let Kanda go to press both of my hands against my bulge. Not again!

"Moyashi!" I hear Kanda yell, "What is wrong?"

I scream as another pain shoots through me and I sink to my knees. The raven hurriedly kneels next to me and then hauls me up to carry me. I grip his shirt and cry again.

"Please Kanda! Help me! It hurts so much!"

I don't understand what he is mumbling because another wave grips me and everything goes black for about the third time since I met Kanda.

Awaking to the wooden ceiling of Kanda's room in the Lee house is much better than the hospital white from last time.

"You awake, moyashi?" I hear Kanda's gruff voice from the desk at the side of the room.

I sit up, luckily without feeling any pain, "Yes, what happened? And how long was I out?"

"It's now about four in the afternoon, meaning you were out for about five hours. You collapsed on the cemetery. Don't you remember?"

"This time I do. But why? The child is still safe inside me as far as I can tell," I say, my hands instinctively searching my bulge, "Actually I am surprised you didn't drag me to a hospital again."

"I bloody took you to the hospital, but as soon as you passed out, the pain seemed to have disappeared. The doctor also said that both you and the baby are fine and you just stressed too fucking much or something and the baby made it clear that it doesn't like that. Then he sent you back home, because they apparently were already too full."

"Nice way of showing that," I murmur.

"I told you, you shouldn't have come to Japan with me," he frowns.

I roll my eyes, "If not, I would have stayed home and worried the whole time, which would count as stressing as well. And no one would have been there to help me. Plus I think it was only because I thought I saw a Noah. That was most likely the reason for my fit."

He studies me sceptically for a moment then grumbles something, "I didn't tell the others what exactly happened, just that you were exhausted and fell asleep. And you have a doctor appointment the day after tomorrow."

"But – " I open my mouth to protest, but I cut him off.

"No, I let you come with me under the condition that I could drag you to a doctor if I deem it necessary. And after what happened today, I think you see why."

I pout and cross my arms, but only until my stomach rumbles loudly, "Ah, yeah, I guess I missed lunch…"

He rolls his eyes again and turns away, "Go downstairs and ask the girl for something to eat. I am sure she will be happy to do so."

I stick my tongue out at his back but do as he says. Linali asks me if I'm fine and after my affirmation she prepares me some sandwiches. Lavi joins and we talk a bit about nothing special. When I return to the room, Kanda is gone and it takes me some moments to notice he is in the shower. Two kinds of uneasiness creep into me at that. The one is because I remember how I found him on that fateful evening, battered and barely conscious. And the other… well, that is of a way simpler nature, or should I say sexual. Not wanting to risk him seeing me, I hurriedly move back to my own room, to take care of my problem. Damned pregnancy hormones!

That's it for today. Thanks for reading.

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