Hello everyone,
thank you so much for all your reviews. ^^ I am really happy you enjoy my story.
Second part of the birth today. We are nearing the end.
Disclaimer: Sigh, I don't own them and am therefore not responsible for the constant Hiatus.
What follows is the most painful hour I have ever experienced. After some time it simply feels as if every contraction is trying to rip me in half. I can feel no progress, but James keeps on telling me that I am doing good. Kanda is a great support, but I sure as hell am not appreciating it. I am cursing, yelling and insulting him. I even threaten him that I would never let him touch me if he even so much as mentions having another child. Luckily he isn't as easily insulted anymore or he would have left long ago. I am beyond thankful for that, because I am sure I would not be able to do this alone. Then finally the first progress.
"I can see the head, Allen. You are getting there, but now comes the most difficult part. Mr. Kanda, try to make him as comfortable as in this situation possible," James announces.
Despite the pain I can't stop the (very) small smile coming to my face. There it is, my child, finally coming into the world. Kanda shifts and helps me to lay down a bit more, supporting my lower back. The two medics are still holding my legs in place, which are trembling with the effort by now.
It goes agonizingly slow from that on. About ten minutes later James announces that I am crowning. And on the next contractions another pain adds to my aching body. It feels like something is try to tear me up from down there.
"Aaaah, shit! What the fuck is that? That hurts even bloody more!" I yell, throwing my head back and accidently hitting Kanda in the face with it.
"That is the baby's head," James calmly explains, "It stretches your birth canal to fit. Because you are male your hipbone is not as wide as a woman's whose are designed to give birth. That is what hurts you now."
"Fuck! Aaaah! Finally get fucking out of me!"
"Apparently you learned something from me and if it is only swearing," Kanda comments, massaging my lower back.
"Shut the hell up, BaKand-aaaah!"
But the annoyance at his smirking gives me the strength to give a great push I didn't think myself capable at this point of time. And apparently James is pleased with it.
"That was great. Another one of those and the head is completely out. Just breathe for now. Good, and now push!"
I scream, in my opinion loud enough to alert the whole hospital, but what I don't know is that the birthing rooms are soundproof. Kanda mumbles in Japanese in my ear, his deep voice soothing me through the veil of all my pain.
Two pushes later James says the head is out, but my strength has run out as well. My whole body aches and I am shaking. So when the man tells me to push the next time I only weakly shake my head.
"No, please no more. I can't do it anymore. It just hurts too much."
James and the nurse exchange a nervous look but I can count on Kanda. Sitting behind me he gives me a very soft clap on the back of my head.
"Baka moyashi. There is no fucking way you can give up now. Your child is minutes from entering the world, you can't fucking abandon it now. He bloody needs you. I need you. Remember when I was giving up? You didn't. You forced me to take the sword up again. And you really can't fucking give up now. I know you have the strength even if you don't show it, so fucking do it."
I smile weakly, trust Kanda to try to insult you even when he is actually trying to encourage you. But it helps me more than one of Linali's heartfelt talks.
"I am not a moyashi-iiiii!" I yell and push hard for another time.
Again I feel something slipping through the exit between my legs. My head falls against my chest when the pain ebbs away and I'm breathing hard. But Kanda is telling me I did great, making me smile despite my tears.
"That was great. The shoulders are out. I need one last push then your baby will be here. The rest is easy. You can do it, Allen," James says.
Taking a shuddering breath when I feel the next pain approaching, I throw myself against Kanda, my head landing on his shoulder and my eyes meeting his. The dark orbs shine with pride, encouragement and care. I scream one last time and finally, finally the small form leaves my body. I crumble into Kanda's arms who strokes my sweat-soaked hair.
"You did great, Allen," he mumbles in my ear, "I'm so proud of you. I love you."
I smile at his confession and the loud wail of my child which fills the room, "I love you too."
I watch as the nurse cuts the cord and takes my son to the water bowl. Suddenly I tense when another, lesser pain shoots through me.
"What is this?" I ask, frightened.
"Only the afterbirth. Everything is fine, Allen," James soothes, "Just give me a few more light pushes then it will be completely over and you can hold your son."
And it really is easy. The pain is little compared to the actual birth and five pushes are enough. Then a bloody, gooey mess leaves my body. I really don't want to look too close at that, instead just close my eyes and let my head fall on Kanda's shoulder, drained.
"It is over, moyashi. You pulled through," Kanda tells me, kissing my head.
"Didn't think I would?" I grin cheekily up at him.
"Never lost trust in you," he teases back.
James breaks us out of our moment when he steps next to me, a bundle of blankets in his arms, which is making small whimpering sounds.
"Here he is, a healthy boy. A bit on the small side, but absolutely fine."
I need Kanda as a support to sit up straight but my eyes shine when James holds the baby out to me. I slowly lift my heavy arms and stretch them out to him. He smiles and places the child in my hands. The boy stills when he touches my skin. He looks up at me and big silver eyes, so much like mine, shine curiously at me. He coos and flexes his face into something akin to a grin.
"He looks like you," Kanda says from over my shoulder.
I smile, it is true. I recognize myself when I look at his face. And I am happy that it is like that. I was afraid he might look too much like my attacker. I shudder at the memory of how I conceived him. I can't even properly remember the face of my attacker, but the hooded head is enough to make me feel scared. Kanda, feeling my mood, embraces me and pulls me against his chest. The only thing that is not me, is my son's hair. Different from my naturally white hair, his strands are dark, black I would say. But that could theoretically come from Kanda as well, so I am happy.
But after some moments of blissful ignorance, the pain in my whole body returns to me and I groan. My eyelids start to drop and I slump in Kanda's arms. He smiles softly and catches me. Carefully he pries the child from my arms and takes him in his.
"Go to sleep, moyashi. You deserve it. I will look after your little boy. You can name him later. We will both be here when you wake up. Goodnight, Allen."
Taking his advice I close my eyes completely and within the next blink I am out. The clock says 5:28 in the morning.
When I awake the next time, bright sunlight is shining through the windows. To my displeasure, I wake up again in a hospital room. Groaning at the pain in my abdomen when I try to sit up, I look around. A smile comes to my face when I see Kanda slumped down in the chair next to my bed. His eyes are closed, his arm has slid off from the armrest and his neck is bent in an awkward angle. I chuckle silently. That will gain him a sore neck when he wakes up. He must have really been tired. My smile stretches even more when I see the small crib next to the raven. I try to reach out for it, but my body is too sore to manage much. But my moving around wakes Kanda up. He shoots straight up, nearly startling me.
"What is it?" he mumbles and looks around confused for a moment, before his eyes settle on me and he calms down.
"Are you okay, moyashi?"
"My body aches, but I'm fine. Could you hand me my son perhaps?"
"Sure"
He stands up and carefully lifts the baby out of the crib. It coos softly and snuggles into his warmth. And to my surprise I see a real smile light up his hard face. I remember how Linali said that she hasn't seen him smile for very long. I am happy that I can be the cause of his first smile this time. Well, my baby, but I gave birth to him. Slowly Kanda walks over to me and I make space for him on the bed. He sits down and carefully places the bundle of blankets in my arms. I smile at the contented look that comes to the chubby face when I hold him.
"I guess he recognizes his mother," Kanda teases, but I can't be angry at him for that.
Instead I lean against his strong frame, "Come on, you love him too. And you love me."
"That I do," he says and leans down, kissing me.
"So have you thought about what to call him?" he asks me.
"Hm, first I wanted to call him Mana after my father, but to me it feels wrong regarding the manner I conceived. I don't know, I always liked the name Aiden."
"A nice name, plus it has the same first letter yours does."
"So you do remember my name?" I grin.
"Of course I do. I called you it more than one time last night, if you remember. But to me, you are my little moyashi," he smirks at me, causing me to pout at him.
"Shouldn't you be at work, Kanda? I thought your project was due today."
"They can deal the fuck without me. I sent them a text that my partner is in labour and I can't come."
"And they accepted?"
"Well, they weren't pleased," he simply shrugs, "But it's not like they can do anything in this case."
"I'm happy you are here," I smile at him.
He nuzzles my hair, but suddenly the baby in my arms starts to fuss. I hear soft whimpers. I tense immediately.
"What is wrong?" I ask nervously.
Kanda though only smirks and grabs a bottle with milk from the nightstand and hands it to me. I send him a pout but he only motions to my crying son. I carefully hold the bottle to his lips and he immediately latches onto it, suckling greedily. A warmth spreads through me and I smile brightly as I lean back into Kanda.
"I phoned Linali as well," he says, "She wants to visit as soon as she can to meet the little one."
"Thanks for everything Kanda. For staying with me even when I yelled insults at you last night."
He nods softly in acknowledgment and nuzzles my neck for a second, "It's now three in the afternoon. In about half an hour, River will come to check both of you over. If everything is fine we can go home."
"Together," I whisper.
"Yes, we two together with the little one," he smiles and kisses me deeply, I respond happily.
That's it for today. Thanks for reading.
Epilogue next saturday.
The extra chapters will come once I have written them. I don't know when yet, sorry. ^^'
Please review and see you next time.