It's a Wonderful Cover Life

A/N 2013: No long author's note tonight. I just want to thank Nervert for the rebeta on the reread and a special thank you to my network provider that's actually playing along this week. (I hope I didn't just jinx it.)

A/N: Hi folks, thought I'd upload this before I leave civilization for a couple of days. It's an extra-long chapter to make up for having to wait a week before I update again and because I haven't found time to update the blog. Speaking of which, this includes a previously unseen scene.

It's been a big day for the McKenzie family – the first baby of the new generation was born this morning. I've also realized that we describe babies the same way we do wanted criminals, by height and weight. That's a little disturbing.

Just Chuck's review has prompted me to name my computers, so I've decided to name my netbook Mulder and my newest laptop Scully. Great use of Booth and Bones, JC.

To everyone who has reviewed, thank you very much.

Please give a big thanks to Nervert for the beta and the joke at the end of scene 12. And send him nagging PM's to finish the next chapter of Revenge.

I don't own Chuck.

9. Can't Buy Me, Love

"Excuse me?" Chuck thought that he'd heard wrong, but aside from looking slightly uncomfortable, Sarah seemed to be deadly serious. His palms started to sweat. "You want to pay me twenty thousand dollars to marry you?"

"That's not what I meant," Sarah interjected quickly. "I need someone to pretend to be my husband."

"Oh." He blew out a slow breath. "Well, that's a relief." His eyes traveled to the front gate as he considered her proposal, and then snapped back to her. "Hang on," he said, "you want to pay me to pretend to be your husband?"

He probably sounded stupid, repeating what she'd just said, but he had to make sure he understood what precisely he might or might not be agreeing to.

"Yes," Sarah replied. "Like I said, it will be for two or three days, you'll earn twenty thousand dollars and get time off from the Buy More."

Chuck responded with a blank stare. The logistics sounded simple enough, but he had trouble wrapping his head around the concept.

"So?" she asked when the silence had stretched just long enough to become uncomfortable, "will you do it?"

Chuck finally blinked. "Why do you need a husband? Pretend husband," he quickly amended. "Is your mother in town?"

It was meant as a joke, but his question clearly jolted Sarah.

"It's part of a business deal," she replied, a little too curtly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have – " He stopped talking when Sarah looked away. Ellie might call him clueless sometimes, but he wasn't too oblivious to realize when he'd poked the proverbial tiger. He decided to focus on Sarah's offer instead. All his financial woes could be over a lot sooner than he'd hoped and that prospect was very tempting.

He cleared his throat. "What would you want me to do?"

Sarah turned back to him and shrugged. "I've never done this before, but I guess you'd move in, wear a ring and do…husband stuff whenever the buyer is around."

"Okay, that sounds easy enough." He kept his tone serious so she wouldn't think he was mocking her. Like her, he had no idea what husband duties would entail, aside from the very obvious which he assumed the buyer was not going to be around for. It didn't strike him as that type of deal.

Sarah smiled at him and like before his insides went funny. "Great," she said. "I'll send a car for you and your daughter on Wednesday morning and then when can –"

"I haven't agreed to…wait, what? You didn't say anything about Maggie being involved." He might have been willing to bend his own morals, but there was no amount of money in the world that could persuade him to get his daughter involved in anything sinister. Then something else occurred to him. "How do you even know about her?"

"I read your personnel file. I suppose I should have been more specific – I need a husband and a child. Is that a problem?"

Chuck briefly wondered if she'd read through everyone's files at the Buy More, that seemed pretty desperate, and he wanted to point out that choosing a random stranger for her scheme would probably guarantee failure, but he had his own concerns to address.

"Would my job be in jeopardy if I say no?"

"Of course not." She raised an incredulous eyebrow, as if he should've known better than to ask. "Are you saying no?"

"Yes. I mean yes, I'm saying no." A flash of disappointment crossed her face and Chuck cast his eyes down to his hands, clasped between his knees. "Look," he said, "I'm sorry, and I wish I could help, really, but I'm trying to raise an honest and responsible little girl, and subjecting her to…to what you're suggesting would be counterproductive." He shot her a sideways glance. "I hope you understand."

"I do," Sarah replied. She gripped her purse strap tightly and rose. "Thank you for your time."

She rose and was halfway across the courtyard when Chuck called her back.

"Sarah, wait."

She stopped, but hesitated for a second before she turned.

Chuck shuffled his feet, wondering what on earth had possessed him to do that. Then he stuffed his hands into his pockets and raised one shoulder.

"Do you want to come in for a drink? Or coffee? I've been a terrible host."

She seemed to consider the invitation, but then shook her head. "Not tonight. It's getting late and I still have a lot to do."

"Of course," Chuck said. "Maybe some other time?"

"Maybe," she replied, and before he could figure out if she'd meant it or was merely being polite, she raised her hand, giving him a small wave. "Goodnight, Chuck."

He returned the gesture. "Goodnight, Sarah."

10. Sister Knows Best

"Are you holding out on us, Chuckster?" Devon asked with a smirk.

Chuck, who'd just reentered the apartment, tried to keep a straight face. "What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about your hot lady friend, bro. You two looked pretty intense out there."

Though he liked his soon-to-be brother-in-law, Chuck still felt a little intimidated by the rock-climbing, river-rafting heart surgeon and was pretty certain that if Devon were to find out what had just gone down, he'd never hear the end of it. Life, according to Captain Awesome, was all about taking risks, and if none presented itself, to go seek out the next thrill.

Next to Devon, Ellie lowered the magazine she'd been reading. "Hot, Devon? Really?"

"Just an observation, babe." Devon gave her a shoulder bump. "C'mon, you saw her."

Chuck's eyes widened. "You guys were spying on us?" Now he almost regretted turning Sarah down. If he had his own place he'd have more privacy.

"We just walked by the window," Ellie replied calmly. She turned her attention back to her magazine and just when Chuck thought that he'd come away unscathed, she asked "So who was she?"

Chuck grabbed the first thing that came to mind. "A colleague from the Buy More. She's new."

"They sure make nerds pretty these days." Devon held his palm out to Chuck. "Up top, bro."

Without looking up from her page, Ellie grabbed his arm and pulled it back down.

"Well you're no fun," Awesome remarked drily. He yawned and then leaned over to give Ellie a peck on the cheek before pushing to his feet. "I'm beat. Don't stay up too late, guys, it's a school night." He gave Chuck a not so playful slap on the back on his way out. "And some of us have ladies to impress in the morning."

"I'm sorry about that," Ellie said once Devon was out of earshot.

Chuck waved it off. "It's okay, sis. It adds to his charm."

Ellie chuckled as she dropped the magazine on the coffee table and patted the seat next to her.

Chuck tensed. His sister might look all innocent, but the Spanish Inquisition had nothing on her.

"Humor me," she said when he remained standing.

He obliged, but not before rolling his eyes at her, which was a waste of energy as Ellie had ignored that means of protest since he was twelve. She propped her elbow up on the back of the couch and with her head resting on her knuckles she fixed Chuck with a look that made him want to squirm.

"Spill."

Chuck wasn't sure if it was because Mondays in general wore him out, or if the realization that he'd just turned down a substantial amount of money left him nauseated, but it didn't take much for him to crack and tell Ellie all about Sarah's proposition.

At first it didn't look like she believed him, and then she simply said "Wow."

"Wow I'm an idiot for saying no to twenty thousand dollars or wow you're proud of me for sticking up for my principles," Chuck asked.

"I'm proud of you for standing by your principles," Ellie replied, "but you are an idiot for turning down the money."

"Gee thanks, sis. That really helps."

"I'm not saying you should sell out, but think of it this way – that money will enable you to get your own place, start your business and have a nest egg to fall back on. And most importantly, you'll get to spend more time with Maggie. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"But in the process I'll teach my daughter the art of lying," Chuck argued, "which isn't something even I excel at."

Ellie was never one to give up easily. "Tell her it's a game. Maggie is still young. I doubt this will scar her for life. By next week this time she'd probably have forgotten that it even happened. How many memories do you have from when you were four?"

"You Rubik's cubed me," Chuck replied.

"You were seven."

"You yelled at me for breaking Mom's necklace."

"Five and a half."

Chuck decided it was time to play his trump card. "If you had introduced me to some random woman and told me to call her mom, I would not have forgotten that."

Ellie grimaced. "Yeah, probably not."

They sat in silence for a while, each with their own thoughts. They hadn't discussed their parental situation in quite some time and had even gone so far as to call off Mother's day after Maggie's arrival, deciding that it had been a sign to stop living in the past, but deep down Chuck knew that their parents leaving like they did was one scar that would never completely heal.

"You know what," Ellie said, "Maggie doesn't have to call Sarah 'mom'."

"I don't see a way around it." Chuck still had his doubts, though he knew his sister would never do anything to harm her niece.

"Well, I do," she replied, "and trust me, it will work. So the only question is: Do you want to quit your job at the Buy More before the New Year or not?"

11. Good PR

Sarah half-sat half-stood against the armrest of the couch, her arms folded and her ankles crossed. The scene in front of her would've been comical had she not been mentally ticking off every little thing that could go wrong.

Oblivious to Sarah's reservations, Carina turned on her heel, her hands clasped behind her back, and marched five steps past the house staff, lined up in front of the fireplace.

"Ms. Walker's husband's name is?" she asked for the third time by Sarah's count.

"Chuck Bartowski," the cook answered.

"And she kept her maiden name –"

"For professional reasons to avoid confusion in her business dealings," the housekeeper replied.

"But –" Carina prompted, her perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch.

"But she goes by Bartowski otherwise," the housekeeper added.

"And their daughter is called –"

This time the question was directed at the butler who, instead of answering, simply glared over Carina's head at the opposite wall. She took a threatening step forward, but he didn't even flinch.

"Casey –" When the warning tone in Carina's voice didn't seem to faze him either, she employed a different tactic. "The daughter who you will be babysitting if you don't cooperate –"

"Margaret," Casey grunted.

"Which she doesn't answer to, not that I blame her," Carina said. "What's her nickname?"

Sarah could see that Carina was enjoying the situation far too much. She'd always made an effort to ruffle John's feathers.

"That's enough, Carina."

"Boo," Casey replied, despite Sarah's effort to intervene. His normal gruffness made him sound like a ghost with a head cold.

"I think they've got it," Sarah said. She nodded to the staff, letting them know that they were dismissed.

"It's not them I'm worried about," Carina replied once they were alone. "Are you sure this Chuck guy will be able to pull it off? He looks like the jittery type."

"Chuck will be fine." The reassurance was as much for Sarah's benefit as for Carina's. She had no way of actually knowing that, but the wheels had been set in motion, and aside from calling the whole thing off, she didn't really have much choice but to push forward and hope for the best.

"If you say so." Carina didn't sound at all convinced, which only added to Sarah's growing irritation.

"Will you stop criticizing? We're doing this because of you. Six people are about to commit fraud because you decided to 'sell it', and one of them still has her baby teeth."

Carina lifted her chin defiantly. "It's not fraud, it's good PR."

"I don't care how you try to spin it, it's fraud."

"It's an innocent lie. No one's gonna get hurt. Beckman's gonna get her store, you're gonna get your freedom –"

Sarah cut her off with a disbelieving snort.

"See?" Carina waved her hand in a vague gesture. "This is why you're not cut out for the business world. You're not prepared to do whatever it takes to succeed."

"There are boundaries, Carina."

"Boundaries are meant to be crossed."

"Says the lawyer."

"Yes, says the lawyer." Carina smirked, knowing full well that she got the last word in as she so often did. Then she glanced down at her watch. "By the way," she said, "you're Mr. Right-for-the-Job is running late."

12. Boy Scouts and Muggers

Sarah had gone from being worried to being very ticked off. Chuck was almost an hour late, and like the previous four times she'd called, his phone went straight to voicemail. If he'd decided to renege on the deal, the least he could've done was let her know.

Carina's head popped around the doorjamb. "Anything?" she asked.

Sarah shook her head. She punched the 'end' button on her phone without leaving yet another message. The study felt stifling, so she rolled her chair away from the desk, stood and pocketed her cell. "I need some air."

"Do you want me to make the call?" Carina asked. She had already come up with a backup plan, stating in no uncertain terms that Bryce would do anything for a buck, as if Sarah needed reminding. It seemed to be the only option, other than to come clean and possibly lose the sale and tarnish her reputation, but just the thought of Bryce Larkin ever touching her again made her stomach recoil. And they'd still have the problem of being sans child.

"Not yet," Sarah said.

"Sarah –" Carina's patience was running thin as well. "We're cutting it very close."

"Just give him another thirty minutes."

Sarah didn't wait for a reply. She pushed past Carina and made her way down the hall. She knew she was probably delaying the inevitable, but there was still time. Another wave of anger flared up. If Chuck let her down, proving that her ability to read people had been seriously lacking of late, she'd make sure that he would regret it. No one was going to dupe her again. She grabbed her jacket from the coat rack and pulled it on before opening the front door.

Chuck skidded to a halt just in time to avoid barreling into her.

"I am so, so sorry we're late." He was out of breath, but that didn't seem to deter him. "Ballet rehearsal went on longer than I thought it would and I was playing games on my phone and the battery ran down and I tried calling from a payphone, but your number is on my phone which was a problem and I tried the Buy More but explaining to Big Mike why I needed your number didn't go too well and then he didn't even have it and I tried to get here as soon as I could." He stopped talking, but only long enough to inhale. "Scout's honor." He held up two fingers in some sort of salute causing the dry-cleaning bag hanger hooked around his thumb to balance precariously.

Sarah's bad mood deflated instantly. "Well, at least you made it." And no one would be calling on Bryce, she added silently. She reached over to save his suit from taking a possible tumble to the ground. Her knuckles brushed against the bottom of his palm and he jerked his hand away and wiped it on his jeans leg.

"Sweaty palms," he said with a sheepish grin. "Happens all the time when I'm nervous." As if to prove it, he switched the small suitcase he'd been holding to his free hand and repeated the gesture.

"Oh," was all Sarah could think of to say as she tried to ignore the sudden fluttering in her stomach.

oooOooo

Chuck had never been comfortable with silence, especially in the company of a beautiful woman, so when it seemed that Sarah wasn't going to say anything more, he gripped the duffle that was swung over his shoulder and nodded towards the door. "We should probably –" He trailed off, knowing it was rude to invite himself in, but as he'd understood it, they were pressed for time.

"Of course," Sarah replied and quickly stepped aside so he could enter. Then her eyes narrowed. "Chuck, where's Maggie?"

He sent a quick glance over his shoulder. "Still in the car. She fell asleep on the way over. I'll get her in a minute." He raised the suitcase. "Where can I put this?"

"I'll take that."

Chuck jumped when someone spoke beside him. He hadn't heard the other man approach and when he had to tilt his head back to meet the man's stoic face, Chuck wondered how it was even possible for him to sneak up on people. The guy was huge. And imposing, he added in his mind.

"Chuck, this is Casey," Sarah said. "He runs things around here."

Casey grunted in response and held his hands out for Chuck's luggage. Chuck just stared. A quip about The Sunshine Band sprang to mind, but he thanked his lucky stars that the words didn't pass his lips. No trachea would be a match for those beefy fingers. Prompted by another growl from Casey, Chuck handed over his daughter's pink suitcase with an uneasy swallow. The man took it between his thumb and index finger, a look of distaste flashing across his face as if he realized it made him look like Barbie's bellhop. Then the glare fell on Chuck's duffle and he surrendered it, wondering if this was what it felt like to be mugged.

13. Time to Measure Up

It served him right, Chuck thought as he shifted from one foot to the other and back again. The redhead, who Sarah had introduced as Carina, circled a little too closely, studying him from his mop of brown curls down to his worn chucks. He flashed back to a few days earlier, when Sarah had first entered the Buy More, and wondered if this was payback for him eyeing her like a predator. Of course he'd been more subtle about it, and she wasn't even aware of what he'd done, but that was beside the point. He wanted to apologize, but couldn't really do that without admitting his wrongdoing, so instead he vowed to help her out the best he could. Sure, she was paying him, but it never hurt to stack up some karma points. That was the only reason he was trying his best not to squirm.

"Can you work with this?" Carina asked. Technically she was talking to the Wookie on Chuck's shirt, but he assumed the question wasn't directed at him.

"Sí," Signor Anthony, the tailor, replied. Then the gray-haired man crossed the room and joined Carina inside what Chuck had always thought of as his personal space. He inserted two fingers into the waistband of Chuck's jeans and tugged. "Slim waist," he remarked with a heavy Italian accent. "Many la donna would kill for that."

Carina snickered at that, but Chuck chose to ignore her. Instead he focused on Signor Anthony, kneeling down in front of him, or more specifically, the measuring tape he'd whipped out of his pocket. He eyed the wrinkly fingers with growing unease as they traced a path up his leg, and when they brushed over his mid-thigh, showing no signs of stopping, Chuck flinched into a Morgan with a surprised "hi-oh".

"Is this really necessary? I brought a suit."

"Is it Armani?" Carina asked, her tone indicating that she already knew the answer.

"No," Chuck replied without missing a beat, "it's my Dad's."

Carina opened her mouth only to close it again without uttering a sound. Twice. Chuck had to bite the inside of his cheek to refrain from grinning, but she must have noticed as she shot him a baleful glare before storming out of the room.

"Well played, Signor." The old man nodded solemnly.

"Yeah, but she's going to make me pay for that, isn't she?"

"Sí," Signor Anthony replied needlessly while rummaging through the clothes hanging on a portable rail. He unhooked a pair of pants, ran his fingers along the material as he measured it with his eyes and then turned back to face Chuck.

"Now business," he said. "Drop your pants please."

14. Stepping on Designer Toes

Carina tore into the kitchen and threw open the fridge door. She stared at the contents and huffed. "Don't you have anything stronger than sissy beer and milk?"

"Chuck likes Corona," Sarah replied without looking up from the papers she'd been studying. "Besides," she said, and then paused to tick an item off the list, "it's a little early to start hitting the booze. Ask Lou to make you some tea."

"I don't want tea." Carina slammed the door shut and spun around. She leaned across the table and grabbed the papers from Sarah's hand. "And seeing as you're such an expert on Chuck, you go deal with him. He's being impossible."

"It takes one to know one," Sarah said and slid her pen across to Carina. "The menu is almost done. Let Casey know which wines to get from the cellar and pick a dessert. No nuts, Beckman's allergic and I'm not putting myself through this just to have her die on me."

She rose from her seat, pretending not to notice that her calm demeanor was adding to the redhead's frustrations. She was also prepared to lie about doing it on purpose. Payback was necessary sometimes.

Halfway to the door Sarah stopped and turned, smiling sweetly at Carina. "The seating plan needs to be finalized too."

"Just so you know," Carina called after her, "Chuck and I will be sitting very far apart."

"Great," Sarah called back, "see if you can make it different rooms."

Sarah found Chuck in his room, balancing Maggie on one knee while he tied her hair up into a ponytail. She knocked on the open door. "Mind if I come in?"

"No, we're decent." Chuck winked at Maggie, getting a snicker in return. He ran the brush through her brown locks one last time and placed it on the bed beside him. The little girl lifted her arms and Chuck circled one around her torso as they both rose to meet Sarah. "Boo," he said, "this is Kitty."

"Like Monster's Inc.?" she asked.

"Exactly like Monster's Inc.," Chuck replied.

"It's nice to meet you, Maggie," Sarah said. The nickname still seemed unfamiliar too her. She stuck out her hand, but Maggie just stared at it before her eyes bounced back to Sarah's.

"She's four," Chuck pointed out with the faintest hint of humor. "I don't think there's a set protocol for this sort of thing."

"Oh." Not knowing what to do with her hands, Sarah tucked them into her back pockets, doing her best to hide her discomfort. She hadn't been around kids since she actually was one. Unsure of how to act, she looked to Chuck for help.

He seemed to understand her silent plea and he bent his head to whisper something into Maggie's ear. She craned her head and when he nodded at her, she turned back to Sarah and offered her hand.

"It's nice to meet you too, Kitty," she said shyly.

Sarah gently shook the proffered hand as her eyes met Chuck's over Maggie's head. He raised his shoulder a fraction.

"She should learn at some point." He lowered Maggie to the ground and she ran back to the bed to retrieve a pink pig. With the stuffed animal tucked securely under her arm, she slipped her hand into Chuck's, but her eyes remained fixed on Sarah.

Sarah had no idea what the little girl found so interesting and she surreptitiously glanced down the front of her blouse to see if she had perhaps spilled something on herself. She hadn't, which made Maggie fascination all the more baffling.

"Would you two like to see the rest of the house?" Sarah asked in an attempt to draw the attention away from herself.

"Good idea," Chuck replied. "I wouldn't want to direct Mrs. Beckman to a hall closet is she asks for the bathroom."

"I will point out every bathroom and hall closet," Sarah promised.

The tour was restricted to the ground floor of the mansion. The west wing comprised of the guest suite where Beckman would be staying. It was separated from the rest of the floor by the staircase, leading up to a small sitting area on the landing, cordoned off with floor to ceiling bookcases. Sarah took them in the opposite direction and made sure Chuck learned every route to the kitchen, dining room and reception area. Maggie made it as far as the kitchen and stayed behind with Lou who fixed her a snack.

"Impressive," Chuck said when they ended in the living room. "Everything is so –"

"So?" Sarah prompted when he didn't continue.

Chuck hesitated for a second. "Everything is so neat and…designer."

Sarah cocked her head to the side and frowned. "Designer?"

"Yeah, you know –" Chuck made a vague gesture. "Everything is just so…perfect."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Sure, she had her interior decorator fly in from New York once a year to update the décor, but she never thought there was something wrong with that.

"No, no, not at all." Chuck's eyes swept through the room again. "It's a lovely house, really…it's just…it doesn't look like a family lives here. It barely looks like you live here."

"Well, I happen to like it," Sarah said. Truthfully she's never really thought about it – Grace normally came in, did her thing and Sarah wrote a check. Chuck's comment had put her on the defensive, though she didn't know why she cared about his opinion one way or the other.

A/N: So can anyone name the sitcom referenced? It's easy, I even gave you two clues :) Have a good week, everyone.