Because nobody likes a vague disclaimer: All characters belong to the fantastical Joss Whedon.

NOTE: From Angel's perspective, this chapter starts with the three weeks Buffy's out and continues with the following days until she leaves.

Chapter V: The Life Still There, Upon Her Hair—The Death Upon Her Eyes

from Lenore by Edgar Allen Poe

†

By the fourth day I finally relent. Nina drives me back, and I manage to keep my eyes open the entire way. With Faith and most of the other slayers gone, the ones still here off on their own, Nina and I are left alone in the wreckage of the Hyperion.

"Our room's not too bad actually. There's electricity now, and the hot water stills works." Nina says as she leads me up the stairs.

The girls had done their best to tidy, but the place is nearly in shambles. The fight had taken place so close, there's more than a bit of damage. But i'm too tired to care and as soon as I reach my bed I barely notice when Nina crawls in beside me.

I manage to sleep nearly 24 hours and wake thinking i'd lost half a day when in fact it'd been nearly a day and a half. Having already showered and dressed I'm near ready to burst out the door, but Nina's expression slow down my pace.

"I called the hospital Angel, they say everything is stable now, but her condition is the same."

I turn to her ready to object but she continues instead.

"Look, I'm not telling you not to go, all i'm saying is, nothing's changed with her, but things have with you."

She steps closer, "You've been so busy worried about her you haven't even considered your own needs."

"She's in a coma." I nearly blurt out.

Her expression remains steady.

"And you've just become human. Your body has needs now, and you'll be no use to her if you don't take care of yourself. Have something to eat, real food, and then i'll drive you there myself."

And though I hardly expected to agree with anything she said, I find myself conceding that she has a point, and now that she's mentioned food I can't help but notice the empty feeling in my stomach.

With hesitation, I nod, and walk towards her, "Alright."

"I made spaghetti. I ate already since I wasn't sure when you'd wake, but there's a plate for you. Just have to warm it up."

She smiles softly and when I take her hand she leads me to the Hyperion kitchen. Evidently, she'd done some shopping when she'd left the hospital, and when I catch the scent of the noodles and sauce simmering on the stovetop, and the garlic bread warming in the oven, I find myself appreciating my new found life for the first time since finally getting it.

We sit there in the kitchen, and as I sit next to her, she smiles.

"What?" I ask curious about the quality of her grin.

"It's just, I hadn't really taken into consideration that this is your first real meal. And I made garlic bread."

I return the gesture, but my grin is more of a smirk and I just say, "well it actually smells delicious, so thank you."

"I'm glad I got to be the one to cook you your first real meal. And besides, we better find out as soon as possible whether you like my cooking or not."

I find myself actually grinning, and the thought that i've long since had my first meal fades to the back of my mind.

As I enjoy my first meal as a human, Nina tells me of everything that's happened since she got back, and what happened while I was out.

"And there's a full moon soon. I'm not sure if you've even realized it with everything that's going on."

I don't say anything at first because I hadn't, not that I think she expects me to say anything to it anyways.

"In the basement-"

"I know." She interrupts. "I've already checked it. It's not pretty down there, but it'll do."

My response is a nod, and the air around us goes quiet. It doesn't seem like she's going to continue, and I don't know what to say to her that will make her feel better, so I focus on finishing the food on my plate. After a few minutes of this I hear her exhale loudly and I look back up at her.

She smiles apologetically at me, "I'm sorry. I always get a bit feisty before the full moon. I didn't mean anything by it."

We both know that's not exactly the truth, but there's no use in arguing about it now so I turn to her, and placing my hand on the middle of her back, I nudge her closer.

"I know." I reply, kissing her.

She smiles when I move away, and the tension that'd been simmering in the background is gone.

"That meal was delicious. Thank you."

I grab my plates and take them over to the sink, and as I quickly wash them she tucks everything else away. We leave shortly after and as promised, she drives us to the hospital.

†

"Are we ever going back to Rome?"

It's late, and we've only just settled into bed, my eyes haven't adjusted to the dark yet but I turn over to her lying next to me. She's close so I can see the main features of her face. Her expression is a restrained impatience; as if she's been holding in this question for days now.

I try not to be bothered by her obvious indifference for Buffy's well being, since I understand where it's coming from.

"We will." I answer passively, "Once she wakes."

"And if she doesn't?" She asks a little too quickly.

I've been prepared for this question for some time, but I still don't have an answer for it.

"I'll worry about that when the time comes. I've got things I need to take care of here anyways."

As my eyes have adjusted to the dark and I can see her more clearly, I catch her dubious look at my words. She tries to hide it by nodding, but the damage is already done.

"You're welcome to go back at any time Nina."

I regret saying it, but I don't take it back. Instead I look away from her and settle on my side. She doesn't say anything, which isn't like her, and I feel obligated to mend the situation.

Glancing back at her I add, "I'll catch up once I get the situation with the hotel sorted out."

A look of dawning comprehension fills her features, and I realize that she really hadn't had a clue what I'd been talking about. I adjust myself back to tell her what she hadn't caught earlier.

"The building is still mine, but it's a mess. If I hope to sell it, i'm going to have to do some work on it."

She seems relieved, and she almost grins, "I'll help of course."

"I thought you would." I manage to return the smile, though there isn't much heart in it.

†

Three nerve wrecking weeks go by before she wakes.

Because of the full moon tonight, I'm here alone and since I can, I hold her hand. I don't know what it means that I want to, because it's over between Buffy and I. Has been for a long time. A part of me will always care for her, my debts to her will never be repaid, yet I'm convinced that the love I once felt for the slayer is as gone as Angelus.

She starts to stir, and her eyes start to flutter and next thing I know she's looking me in the eyes, the nothingness from before still in them. The relief I feel comes out in one word.

"Buffy." I say, but she doesn't speak, and her silence starts to alarm me.

I relax a little when she squeezes my hand, but then her sheer panic at the knowledge of her own well-being sets me on edge again, and because I know what she's thinking, I blurt the first thing that pops into my head.

"This may not mean much to you, but i'm glad you're alive."

But I know they're just words to her.

†

"She'll stay with us." Nina says all of a sudden.

We've just left the hospital, and we're on our way to a hardware store to pick up some supplies; up until this moment, the ride had been silent.

"There's a lot of work to be done, and you still need to find a buyer, so it's not like we're leaving anytime soon anyway. Plus, it'll give her some time to decide what she wants to do now."

I'm driving, but I look over at her quickly, actually surprised by her words.

"Are you sure?" I eventually say.

"I wouldn't be saying it if I wasn't."

I take another glance at her, and her expression is apologetic as she continues.

"I know i've been-" she pauses, trying to find the right word, "-temperamental when it comes to her, and I want to make up for that. Besides, maybe she really shouldn't be on her own just yet."

I hadn't expected any kind of admonition of her jealousy, so her words take me by pleasant surprise. I know what kind of concession this is for her, and this is the Nina I fell in love with.

I smile warmly at her, "I'm sure she'll appreciate it, just as I do."

†

When it comes time to telling Buffy about her check-out date, she reacts just as I had expected. Because of Nina though I have a solution, something i'd been raking my mind for days trying to find, even before she had said anything.

Surprisingly enough, Buffy agrees without fuss. Sure she goes a little stiff at the mention of Nina, but I think that's more to do with the fact that we'd already planned for her acceptance than anything else.

The next day Nina comes with me, smiling and warm, despite the nerves i'm sure she feels. Buffy's just as equally welcoming but she's a little stiff, undoubtedly due to the nerves of moving into the Hyperion with Nina and I.

At the nurse's insistence Buffy grudgingly sits in the wheelchair provided and the nurse lists off a variety of things to do and remember.

"I'll push Buffy." She says once we're good to leave.

"I can-" Buffy starts to say, but Nina doesn't let her finish.

"Nonsense. That way Angel can be a gentleman and get all the doors." She grins playfully at both Buffy and I.

Buffy returns the gesture but otherwise doesn't say anything.

"It would be my pleasure." I say to fill her gap.

As Nina moves behind the wheelchair, she gives me a look, and I get that she's trying to give Buffy some space by being out of her view. As I move to the door and pull it open, she hangs her purse on the handle then she starts to push.

†

When we reach the Hyperion Nina shows her the room we've set up, and we leave her alone so she can get some rest.

It's still early, so Nina and I decide to use the time to resume some of the work we're doing. We manage to coat one of the offices in the main lobby with a layer of paint and start cooking dinner before she appears.

I suspect she hadn't been sleeping the whole time, since she still seems tired when she walks into the massive kitchen.

"Hungry?" I ask her once she's close.

"Yeah." She answers quietly, "It smells really good."

"Right?" I reply with a smile, "I've only recently discovered Nina's cooking but I can say she's a great cook."

"Stop it, Angel." Nina grins back, a slight blush on her cheeks. "It's just your new taste buds in overdrive. Eventually you'll realize it's nothing special."

"I doubt that." I answer simply.

"It's almost ready." She says to Buffy, still smiling.

†

The next morning I wake to an empty bed, and I quickly get dressed and head down to the lobby. When I see no one there, I instinctively go to the kitchen, and find Nina sitting at the table alone, her head turned down focused on a newspaper on the table, and a mug in hand.

"Good morning."

She turns to look at me at my words, and replies, "G' Morning." A hint of a smile in her features. "There's coffee in the pot."

I'm already walking towards it when she says this.

"Thanks." I say anyway.

I take a mug, add cream and sugar, and join her at the table. She'd been reading the paper before I sit, but turns to look at me when I do.

"Where did you get the paper?" I inquire before taking a sip of my coffee.

"I woke up early so I went out for a run. I picked it up on my way back. I was going to get some breakfast too, but-"

She hesitates, unsure of how to continue, "I was short. And with- well I decided I'd just make something instead."

There's little information in the addendum of her reply, that I start with my first question, "You were short? But you withdrew money just before we picked Buffy up, how could you be short?"

"Well, that's the thing." She doesn't seem to know how to say it, because she puts her mug down and turns fully to me.

"The only time it was out my possession was when I hung it on the back of Buffy's wheelchair."

The implication is clear, but before I get to react she continues.

"She's gone, Angel."

I can't say I'm surprised but I am tormented, because I'm not sure if I feel sadness or relief at this news. Seeing Nina's face, I know what she feels. However, I can't fault her for this, she had after all, welcomed her greatest insecurity into our home.

"I found this in my wallet."

She reaches across the paper in front of her to a small scrap of paper I hadn't noticed. She passes it over to me, and before I unfold it, I already know what it's going to say.

I had to, and I'm sorry but I'll pay you back when I can.

-B

"It's not your fault Angel," Nina says to me.

"But did you really expect her to stay?"

At a glare from me, she continues, "Don't get me wrong, I know you tried, but some people need to work out things their own way. I don't pretend to know her very well, but I can see the agony she's in, and there's nothing you nor I can do to fix that."

She reaches out to me, placing her hand over mine on the table, in an effort to comfort me despite the fact that how upset I seem probably unnerves her.

"Maybe you're right." I answer, but I know things can't end this way.

Buffy's not prepared to be on her own, and Nina seems to forget that I too have experienced the loss of everyone who matters most.

"But I can at least help her get where she needs to go."

I flip my palm over and grasp her hand, in what I hope will be reassurance after she hears what I'm going to say next.

"I have to find her, I hope you understand."

Nina's following smile is a mask, but I think I see disillusion in her eyes.

"I'll help you." she replies.

A/N: Ok, so when I said I'd already written this except the ending, I kind of meant Buffy's pov. Angel's side was originally just supposed to be like an addendum to each of Buffy's chapters. BUUUT, I decided it would be more interesting to see things from his perspective as well, and what his relationship with Nina is like, and how it changes. So yeah, the first half of this would have worked better in his previous chapter but i've only just written most of it. My bad.

Anyways, Buffy POV next and as always, thanks for reading!