It's a Wonderful Cover Life
A/N 2013: Good morning, Baltimore!
A/N: Egg yolk is vital to a happy life.
I don't own Chuck.
65. In a Tight Spot
"I wanna go see the horses, Daddy." Maggie was bouncing like the bubbles in the grape soda Morgan was so fond off.
"Then keep still, Boo." Chuck ran his fingers along the shoulder straps, trying to find the buckle that was supposed to release her from the seat, but with no luck. It was a later model than the one he was used to – a purchase Sarah had made and had neglected to tell him about earlier, but instead had Casey install into a Sienna Chuck had never seen parked in the garage before. It wasn't a new car, but well taken care of, and he wouldn't put it past Sarah to have gotten it off a mom at the mall. He had to admit, though, the automatic sliding doors were cool, and a lot easier to operate than the Fort Knox of booster seats. Of course it would've helped if he'd strapped in Maggie himself, but Beckman had offered to do that while he and Sarah were busy loading the food and other gear into the back.
He glanced through the windshield to where Beckman stood, deep in conversation with the ranch owner, Mrs. Winterbottom, about one of the rose bushes. There was no sign of Sarah. He seriously doubted that she would know how to operate the seat anyway and he couldn't exactly ask Beckman without blowing their cover and then having to explain the kiss Maggie had so matter-of-factly pointed out to her. Of course he'd much rather explain it to Beckman than to Maggie, but lucky for him he'd been spared from his daughter's curious 'whys', for the time being at least.
In a desperate attempt to locate the locking mechanism Chuck wedged himself between the front- and backseats to get a better look.
"What are you doing?" Sarah's voice startled him and he jerked, hitting his head on something hard.
"Ow!"
"Careful." She grabbed his bicep and helped him up from the floor. "Are you okay?"
"Fine." Chuck rubbed the back of his head. Relieved to find no bump he gestured towards the booster seat. "I think I'm gonna need the manual."
"But you use one of these every day."
"They're not all the same."
"Am I stuck?" Maggie asked, her eyes wide with worry.
"No, sweetie," Sarah replied. She ruffled Maggie's fringe. "We're gonna have you out of there in no time, but first I need to talk to your dad for a second." Sarah grabbed Chuck's arm again and pulled him away from the car. "You fix computers for a living. Surely this can't be that difficult."
"It's not the same thing. But I'm sure I'll figure it out," he added when Sarah started to look a little distressed herself.
"Daddy! Kitty!" Their heads turned to see Maggie holding up the straps in triumph. Then they looked at each other in alarm.
"Oh, that's not safe," Sarah said.
Chuck shook his head and reached the door in two long strides. "Maggie, how did you do that?" he asked.
"I pushed the button. Mr. Oink was sitting on it."
Chuck was sure he'd checked under the stuffed pig, but that was not important. He leaned into the car so he was face to face with his daughter. Her arms dropped, as did her excited expression.
"Maggie," he said in his serious dad voice, "you may never ever let yourself out of this seat, okay? Never. Ever."
She nodded, then furrowed her eyebrows. "What if zombies attack me and I have to get away?"
"Not even then." Chuck lifted her out of the seat. "You do remember that zombies aren't real, right?" They'd had a lengthy discussion on the issue after Maggie had accidently walked in on him and Morgan watching Zombieland.
"I know, Daddy, they're just people playing pretend with raspberry jam." She looked from him to Sarah, and for a second Chuck thought Maggie was going to draw a parallel to their situation, which was definitely not all pretend anymore. "Can we go see the horses now?" she asked instead, reminding Chuck that, thankfully, she was only four.
"Of course," Sarah replied, holding a hand out which Maggie took immediately. "You coming?" she asked Chuck. Maggie offered him her free hand. He caught a glimpse of Beckman giving them an 'oh-that's-adorable' smile before turning her attention back to the roses and somehow he didn't feel quite so guilty anymore about deceiving her.
"Puppies!"
Chuck grimaced. Maggie's shriek rivaled Ellie's, and though he'd learned to tolerate it growing up, he doubted that his ears could take another fourteen years of that particular frequency without suffering permanent damage. Maggie, oblivious to his concern for his hearing, started bouncing again.
"Can I go play with the puppies? Please, Daddy? Please, please, please?"
"I thought you wanted to see the horses?" Sarah asked when Maggie tried to pull her hands from theirs.
Chuck was torn between Sarah's disappointment and Maggie's eagerness. His gaze bounced between the litter of yellow labs and the stables as he tried to make a decision. Then he remembered their last trip to the zoo.
"If Mrs. Winterbottom says it's okay, you can play with the puppies."
Maggie barely thanked him before taking off and Chuck couldn't help but smile when she skidded to a halt in front of the gray haired woman, gesturing wildly. Mrs. Winterbottom seemed quite amused, nodding in agreement as she, Beckman and Maggie made their way over to the side of the house. Beckman glanced at them again, winking, and Chuck used the opportunity to slip his hand around Sarah's. Then he tugged her in the direction of the stable doors.
"Consider yourself lucky," he told Sarah.
"How's being rejected for a bunch of smelly dogs lucky?" she asked.
"Awww, you don't mean that," Chuck said, giving her hand a comforting squeeze. "Small furry things are generally cute and what little kid could resist? Besides," he continued, "I've just spared you from a tantrum, and possibly trying to round up bolting horses, which I assume are a lot harder to catch than goats and rabbits. Unless you know that cool rope trick." He stopped and turned to Sarah. "Do you know that cool rope trick?"
She snorted, her sulky mood forgotten. "It's been a while since my last rodeo. Why were you trying to round up goats and rabbits?"
Satisfied that he'd succeeded in cheering up his fake-wife, Chuck bumped her shoulder. "Let me tell you about the Great Bartowski Petting Zoo Disaster of 2009."
66. Saddle Up, Cowboy
He respected women, he really did. Chuck repeated the mantra in his head with every brush stroke across the brown mare's back. He kept his movements even, like Sarah had showed him, while checking the animal for dirt and injuries. But every so often his eyes would wander over to where she was almost done saddling her own horse. He couldn't help it, not when she was bending over the way she was right at the moment, reaching under the stallion's belly for the cinch. He respected women, but dammit, he was still a man, and he had no idea jeans could stretch like that. His gaze snapped back to his hands when she straightened.
"Are you checking me out, Chuck?" Sarah asked, shooting him a sly grin over her shoulder before fastening the buckle with deft fingers.
"I…what…no…yeah, no…I mean…I was trying to see what…saddling a horse is more complicated than I thought. Why don't you let the stable hands do it?" He hoped the change in subject would go unnoticed. Judging by Sarah's amused expression it didn't, but she didn't say anything as she slipped her hand between the horse's flank and the leather strap, checking that it wasn't too tight. Satisfied that it was fine, she walked around to the stallion's front.
"Because this is part of the riding experience," she finally replied, crouching down and lifting the horse's left leg. "For one, it's all about trust." She stretched the leg out and bent it at the knee before letting it go. "If you're gentle with your horse, he'll return the same courtesy. Or she, in your case."
"I'm all for that." Chuck ran a hand across the mare's neck. He'd do anything short of giving her a sponge bath if it would guarantee that she wouldn't buck him off. Sarah had assured him that she was tame, but he still had his doubts. "What's the second thing?"
"Personal preference," Sarah told him as she repeated the process with her horse's right leg. "I've always felt that if you let someone else do the work while you just enjoy the ride – "
"What?" he asked when she trailed off, completely spellbound by the way she handled and talked about horses.
Sarah pushed to her feet and made her way over to him. Running her fingers through the mare's mane, she sneaked a glance at him. "Well, it feels a bit like a one-night stand."
Chuck's eyebrows almost collided with the brim of his hat.
"You're not a fan?" he found himself asking. She blushed and he wished he was standing behind the horse. Apparently he could use a good kick in the backside. "I'm more of a steady relationship guy myself," he added to salvage the situation, "though that didn't really work out too well for me."
"Tell that to the woman who had to rent a family," Sarah said. She rounded the horse, gathered the saddle pad and draped it over the mare's withers. Then she slid it backwards until it was centered. Chuck took a step to his right, giving her room to work. Horses needed to be saddled from the left, though he had no idea why. She turned and gestured behind him. "Could you hand me the saddle please?"
"Sure."
The saddle was a lot heavier than it looked and Chuck figured with his height advantage, it would be easier to get it on the horse himself, though Sarah didn't have any trouble before with her own. Plus it was the gentlemanly thing to do. He glanced over at her stallion and mimicked the position, placing it down carefully.
"Thanks," Sarah said.
She let the stirrups down before grabbing the horn to wiggle the saddle into place. Then she lifted the front end to straighten out the pad. Chuck walked around the horse, untied the cinch and when Sarah hunched down to retrieve it, he did the same and passed it to her. Their fingers brushed before he let go, making his whole arm tingle. He wondered if he'd ever get used to the effect she had on him.
"Why don't you have a boyfriend?" Again he couldn't believe he'd just asked that. For one, the question was personal and he didn't want to pry, and secondly he wasn't so sure he wanted to hear about her exes. He really, really didn't want to picture Sarah with another guy. "Sorry, you don't have to – "
"You're not gonna make an honest woman out of me, Chuck?"
He couldn't tell if she was being serious or diverting so he tried peering at her from under the horse's belly in an attempt to gauge her expression. His height made that impossible without bending sideways at the waist, which he did, only to lose his balance and land on his butt with an audible 'oomph'. Sarah's head popped up on the other side of the horse and she pushed herself onto her toes to lean over the saddle, balancing herself on her elbows.
"Did I just sweep you off your feet, Cowboy?" she asked with a coy smile.
Chuck opened his mouth to reply only to close it again. His brain-to-mouth filter had seemed to kick in, two questions too late and one banter too early. Go figure.
67. In Your Dreams
Sarah let him sweat for another full minute, studying him with her chin on her palm. When it became clear that he didn't have a comeback and she decided to let him off the hook.
"You better go find Maggie before she falls in love with Mrs. Winterbottom's puppies and tries to convince you to adopt one." As much as she enjoyed flirting with him, the ball was in his court. He was the one with the kid and as she had no idea what the rules were for dating a single parent. She'd have to follow his lead.
Chuck nodded slowly and got to his feet. "Labradors are a little big for apartment life," he said.
Sarah caught herself before she could point out that her backyard was more than sufficient to raise a couple of dogs. "Yeah, and if you say no, I'd have to back you up and I don't want to break her heart."
"Well, thanks for that, I think."
He dusted off his backside and then readjusted his hat. Paired with jeans and a flannel shirt he looked like a real cowboy, despite the fact that he was wearing converses instead of boots. Sarah caught her bottom lip between her teeth to stifle a wistful sigh. She didn't really have a type, but she suspected that her future fantasies would probably include a nerdy cowboy. In her kitchen. And there might be sticky pancake batter involved. Or some maple syrup…a little whipped cream perhaps…and chocolate chips…
"Sarah? Where did you go?" Chuck's voice brought her back to the present. Her chin slipped from her hand and she almost did a face plant into the saddle. She jerked back, turning the motion into a half-turn to face Chuck, hoping it came across smoother than it felt.
"Sorry, what?" Or at least smoother than that, she thought as the heat started to rise up her neck.
"I asked if you'd be okay leading the horses outside by yourself, but you sort of zoned out on me there."
"Yeah, I've done it plenty of times. The horses," she said, "not the fantas…zoning out." She pursed her lips to stop herself from talking. She really thought she was over the whole mouth-running-away-with-her thing.
He didn't look convinced. "You sure?"
She hummed a "mmm-hmm" in response and nodded, wondering how the hell she'd gone from flirty to flustered in three minutes flat. Before she had a chance to figure it out Chuck looked like he was about to repeat the question, and she decided that offence was the best defense. Taking a deep breath to try and regain her equilibrium she gathered both reigns in one hand and patted the stallion's neck with the other.
"I'll be fine." She took a few steps and the horses followed. "See? Thor likes Princess."
Chuck groaned. "It's not very manly to go horseback riding on a mare named Princess."
"She's the tamest one I have and I don't want you to break your neck," Sarah replied, grateful for the change in topic.
"I appreciate that, but can't we call her Princess Leia for today? That way I at least keep my nerd cred."
It seemed like a reasonable compromise. The name was close enough as to not confuse the horse, and if it made Chuck happy, then why not?
"Okay," Sarah said, "as long as you promise to stay on the horse."
"I will try my best, believe me." His gaze bounced from hers to the mare and back again. She noticed as he discreetly wiped his palms against his hips and was about to reassure him when he cut in. "You're gonna stay close, right?"
Touched by his faith in her, she smiled. "I have your back, Chuck."
68. The Love Doctor
"Chuck, buddy, where have you been? Do you have any idea how many times I tried to call you?"
"Twenty three times, Morgan. I've been busy, sorry." Chuck would've let the twenty fourth go directly to voicemail too, but he was starting to feel a little stiff and it was the perfect excuse for taking a short walk down the beach.
"Busy? Dude, busy means Halo and pizza, and Halo and pizza means Morgan. Of course that was before you became a dad, but still, I get every other weekend at least. What happened to our videogame and pizza?"
"I get it, buddy, we missed Halo and pizza. I'm sorry."
"Are you still mad at me? Because I promise I've seen the error of my ways; I'm a changed man. From now on I'll tell women that I'm Maggie's awesome uncle, just don't tell the Captain – "
"I've forgiven you, Morgan."
"Oh, that's a relief. So where have you been all weekend? I swung by your place, but Ellie locked the Morgan door and there was no answer when I knocked. And you haven't been returning my calls. I was worried."
Chuck had no idea how to answer that. He'd never lied to his best friend before and he knew he could trust Morgan to keep his secrets, but he didn't think Sarah would be too thrilled if he outed them to anyone.
"I met someone." It was close enough to the truth.
"You met someone? Chuck, you meet plenty of people every day and that has never interfered with our – " He could practically hear the wheels turning. "A girl? Did you meet a girl? Why didn't you tell me busy was code for busy? And when are you going to introduce us? Does Ellie know? What's she like? I mean your girlfriend, not Ellie. Ellie is amazing."
Chuck made up his mind. Morgan would have way too many questions if he told him what was really going on.
"Slow down, buddy. First of all, you need to stop crushing on my sister. She's engaged now."
"Engaged is not married, my friend. We're simply into overtime. There's still a chance to score."
Chuck slapped a hand over his eyes to rid himself of that mental image. He would've been impressed by the sports metaphor had it not involved his sister. Though Ellie could hold her own against Morgan, and he loved the guy like a brother, there were just certain things he didn't want to discuss. Ever.
"But enough about my love life," Morgan continued, "I want to hear all about yours. Just hold the phone for a second." The line went quiet and then Chuck heard the distinct sound of a clicking pen. He ran his hand down his face, sighing quietly as he turned to head back. "Okay, the doctor is in. So what does she look like? Is she attractive or does she have a great personality?"
"Your mom made you watch When Harry met Sally again, huh?"
"It happens when you're sans best friend for the weekend, but enough stalling."
Chuck rounded a rock and the ladies came into view. They were setting up a dessert of strawberries and cream. As if feeling his eyes on her Sarah looked up. Instinctively he raised his hand, giving her a small wave and getting a megawatt smile in return. For some reason he was suddenly eager to get back to the picnic and decided to cut the call short.
"You know what, Morgan, I need to go. We'll talk tomorrow."
"This goes against the bro-code, Chuck. You're only allowed to breach the code if she looks like Lara Croft. I can't compete with Lara Croft. Or Bo Derek."
"Or Vicky Vale."
For the second time of the afternoon Chuck nearly went deaf. He held the phone at arm's length from his head, positive that everyone within a two-mile radius heard Morgan's whistle. When the decibels dropped, he chanced bringing it back to his ear.
"Okay, listen," Chuck said before Morgan could bombard him with another round of questions, "you need to keep this on the down low. I don't want to jinx it."
"Yeah, yeah, of course, but you will tell me when it's time to whip out the old proposal plan, right? I know a guy who knows a guy, so you can consider the stallions on the beach part arranged."
Chuck shook his head in amusement, wondering what Morgan would say if he told him that they could tick that one off the list.
A/N: Oooh, they're about to announce the winner of this year's SA's Got Talent, but sadly the pole dancers didn't make it through to the finale. Shoot.
Okay, back to the author's note. My course is almost over – three weeks to go – and I'm still trying to figure out if I'd learned something. I guess time will tell.
Pick the dog! Pick the dog!
In the mean time I have an awesome team helping me out, so big thank yous to quistie64 for the Maggie advice, shawnny, my target reader,for her enthusiasm and absolutely lovely emails, and Nervert who'd sacrificed some much needed sleep to get the beta done. You guys are awesome. And let's not forget Aerox who was kind enough to write the author's note at the beginning of the chapter.
They didn't pick the dog. What's wrong with these people?
I know I always thank the rest of you for reading and reviewing, and I really mean it, but today's thank you is especially for your patience. This story would probably have been abandoned a long time ago if you haven't kept coming back to read it, so thank you.
No, I'm sorry, the arm waving story teller won? Yeah, she's cute, but since when is being cute a talent? Reality shows are stupid.
And in news just in: Happy birthday, AgentInWaiting!