It's a Wonderful Cover Life
A/N 2013: Last one. Thank you Nervert for going over this story again and making sense of some of my odd sentences and weird word usage. And a big thanks to all of you who joined in for the reread. I truly enjoyed your tweets and reviews.
A/N: The world didn't end. I suppose if the Mayans really could tell the future, they'd still be around. Anyway, it's Christmas Eve and we're still around, so the longest running Christmas fic of all time is continuing. Thank you so much to Team Maggie for sticking with me – quistie64 for the great advice on what a four-year-old does and doesn't do and say, and Nervert for correcting my spelling and grammar, and giving me awesome notes that spark creativity when my brain ceases to operate. Due to time constraints he hasn't seen the last draft, so any errors that have slipped through are mine. You two are Chuck awesome. As are all you readers. Thank you for all the reviews, PM's and tweets. It really means a lot and l wish I had the time to respond to you all.
That's it from me for now; you're not here to read the author's note anyway.
I don't own Chuck.
69. Double Infinity and Beyond
Propped up against the headboard with her legs stretched out, Sarah balanced her laptop on her thighs. She'd booked tickets for The Nutcracker online and was browsing the newspaper without really taking in the headlines. Keeping an eye on the clock, she wondered if Chuck was done giving Maggie her bath yet. He'd promised to call her to say goodnight before he tucked Maggie in, but he'd seemed a bit preoccupied since their return from the ranch and she was worried that he might forget.
She slipped her reading glasses off and was about to shut down the laptop when a head popped around the doorjamb, and then just as quickly disappeared. Amused, Sarah watched the door. She didn't have to wait long. Maggie's face appeared again, inch by inch, and when her eyes came into view, catching Sarah's, she hesitated for a moment before stepping into the room. She was still dressed in her jeans and pink long-sleeved t-shirt, but her feet were bare. Keeping her distance, she looked over her shoulder, then back at Sarah.
"Daddy said I shouldn't bother you when you're working," she said in a stage whisper.
"I'm never too busy for you," Sarah replied, trying to ignore the stab of disappointment that Chuck would tell Maggie that. He probably meant well, but she made a mental note to correct him. She used to hate it when her own dad shooed her out of his study.
Maggie gave her a wide grin, but she didn't move until Sarah patted the spot next to her. Accepting the invitation she raced across the carpet and clambered onto the bed. Mr. Oink dragged along, his left ear crumpled in her tight grip. She crawled across the mattress towards Sarah, not stopping until she was in her lap. Sarah winced slightly every time a sharp body part collided with a soft one, but finally the four-year-old settled in, hugging the stuffed pig to her chest. Sarah wrapped an arm around the two of them and Maggie dropped her head back against her shoulder, her hair tickling the underside of Sarah's jaw.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm reading the Los Angeles Times," Sarah replied.
"Are you reading the time in the newspaper? Why don't you use your watch?"
Sarah chuckled. "Los Angeles Times is the name of the newspaper," she explained.
"Oh," Maggie said. "It's a dumb name."
She'd never thought about it, but Sarah had to agree. "Yeah, it is."
"You should read comic books. They've got cool names and lots and lots of pictures. Daddy likes them. He'll let you borrow one, but don't bend the pages 'cause he doesn't like that."
Sarah had no desire to start reading graphic novels anytime soon, but she didn't shoot down Maggie's suggestion. "I'll remember that," she said instead and decided to change the topic. "Did you have fun today?"
Maggie nodded enthusiastically. Then she craned her neck to look at Sarah. "After you and Daddy get married, can we go there every weekend?"
"Sure," Sarah said, only to realize afterwards what exactly Maggie had asked. "No," she quickly amended, and when the little girl's face fell, she started to flounder. "Of course we can go to the ranch again," she back-tracked, "but your daddy and I are not getting married."
Then she wished she'd stopped halfway through that sentence.
"But you and Daddy kissed in the kitchen. Aunt Ellie and Uncle Devon kiss in the kitchen all the time and they're getting married." Just like her "you're Daddy's girlfriend" conclusion from a few nights ago, Maggie made it sound like the most logical thing in the world.
Sarah's first instinct was to tell her that kissing didn't always lead to marriage, but Maggie's hopeful expression caused the words to die in her throat. She couldn't crush the little girl like that. Sneaking a glance at the door she wished for Chuck to have the most perfect timing in the world, but after a few seconds Sarah had to face the fact that she was in this alone. She busied herself by moving the laptop to the floor to buy some time and organize her thoughts.
Maggie wiggled into a more comfortable position, not taking her eyes off of Sarah, which made her a bit self-conscious. She took a heavy breath, wondering if the word 'complicated' was part of a four-year-old's vocabulary yet. Probably not, she thought.
"Marriage," Sarah said, then hesitated. "Marriage is a really big commitment." Judging by way Maggie's brow furrowed the little girl didn't know that word either, so she tried again. "It's a really big promise." When it seemed that she understood, Sarah continued. "Before two people can promise to stay together forever they have to make sure that they can keep that promise, they have to get to know each other very well to find out if they like each other enough."
"Forever is really, really, really long."
"Yes, it is," Sarah replied, but just when she thought she was off the hook, Maggie's eyebrows pulled together again.
"Do they have to kiss lots and lots?"
Sarah could do nothing but nod, afraid that she'd accidently start a whole different conversation, given what the first innocent question had led to.
Maggie thought for a moment. "How long does it take?"
Sarah bit her bottom lip, not sure what to say. "How long have Aunt Ellie and Uncle Devon been dating?" she finally asked.
"Always," Maggie said. "How long is always, Kitty?"
That was when Sarah ran into math trouble. Forever plus always would equal double infinity, and there was no such thing. She decided to change the subject, something she should've considered five minutes ago.
"Do you always ask this many questions?" And to make sure that Maggie was thoroughly distracted from where the conversation was headed, she wiggled her fingers into Maggie's side like she'd seen Chuck do. The little girl shrieked as she tried to squirm off Sarah's lap. Sarah tickled her some more and then allowed her to roll off her legs and onto the bed.
"Daddy says it's how I learn stuff," she said, a little out of breath.
The mention of Chuck made Sarah frown. "Sweetie, where is your dad?"
Maggie gasped, her eyes wide. "He's in my room. He said to come get you but I forgot."
70. Walk Like a Cowboy
Chuck had almost given up hope that help would arrive when he heard the soft click of the door closing. He had no idea how he'd made it through the car ride back and up the stairs without letting on that he was in pain, but once he'd entered Maggie's room he'd collapsed on her bed. He'd thought that lying down for a few minutes would ease the discomfort, but when he couldn't summon the will to get up and help Maggie take her bath, he had to come up with a different plan.
"Chuck?" Sarah shook his shoulder and he just groaned in response. "Chuck, what's wrong?"
"Butt hurts," he mumbled into the Tinkerbell duvet, even though his inner thighs felt worse, like someone had lit a fire between his jeans and skin.
"Daddy, did you break your butt?" Maggie asked.
"No, sweetie," Sarah replied. "It's probably just bruised. I bet his ego is worse."
"Where's his ego?"
"My ego is fine and your concern is touching," Chuck jumped in, feeling left out of the conversation. He turned his head to give Sarah the evil eye for being more amused than concerned and found her crouched down in front of him, fighting to keep a straight face. Then he had the sudden urge to see her smile. He was sure it could cure anything.
"I think Princess Leia's suspension is shot."
It had the desired effect – she flashed him a heart stopping smile, brushing an errant curl from his forehead. He really liked that.
"Do you want me to give Maggie a bath?" she asked before he remembered why she was there in the first place.
"I don't need a bath." Maggie held her hands up for them to see. "I look clean."
Chuck sighed inwardly and pushed up on his elbows as his current position didn't exert much authority, but Sarah preempted him. She squeezed his hand and winked.
"I've got this."
She turned and motioned Maggie closer. The little girl took a tentative step, her arms still stretched out in front of her. Sarah took Maggie's wrists in her hands and took turns lifting the little palms to her nose. "You smell like puppies," she said, switching hands, "and horses. I think you do need a bath."
Chuck was impressed by the way Sarah was handling the situation, but he knew victory wasn't theirs yet when Maggie did the slight shoulder raise, accompanying head tilt and pouting bottom lip that he was barely immune to, even after four years of practice. Sarah didn't stand a chance.
"She's right, Boo," he quickly interjected. "Puppies are cute, but they stink." He wrinkled his nose for added effect.
"But if I've never had a puppy before why did I have to take all those other baths?"
"So puppies won't run away when they smell you coming," Chuck replied. It was a variation of the discussion they had every night, but unlike those times Maggie didn't just take his word for it.
"Is it true, Kitty?" she asked Sarah.
"I'm afraid so." She made a show of looking as dejected by the fact as Maggie was.
Maggie's shoulders slumped as she let out a long sigh. "Then I guess I have to."
The little girl made her way to the closet to fetch her pajamas, dragging her feet. Chuck gave Sarah a thumbs up behind Maggie's back.
"Why doesn't she like baths?" Sarah whispered.
"It's a phase, I'm hoping," he said, dropping his head back onto the pillow. "Thanks for doing this. I know you're probably busy."
"Not at all." She stood and pushed her sleeves up to her elbows. "Now, she goes in head first, right? And after I'm done shampooing her hair – "
Chuck's head snapped up and he was about to correct her when Sarah chuckled. She bent over and with a finger under his chin, closed his mouth. "I'm sure I can handle it. Don't worry."
"Oh I'll keep an eye on you nonetheless." He shifted sideways so he'd have a view of the bath from his position on the bed, pulling a stiff muscle in the process. He grimaced.
"How bad is it?" Sarah asked.
"I'll live, as long as I limit my movements to breathing."
"I'm sorry, Chuck, I should've noticed – "
"Sarah," he cut in before she could apologize unnecessarily, "don't be silly. You had your hands full with Maggie. At least I didn't fall and break my neck, or worse. And it's so worth it. I can't recall the last time she had that much fun, which makes me sound like a horrible parent, I know, but I had to work quite a lot lately." He realized he was rambling, but Sarah didn't seem to mind. "I had fun too," he added, "despite the after-effects."
Sarah pushed to her feet. "Well, I'm glad, because I told Maggie we can go riding again."
"Only if you strap a pillow to my saddle. Or a bean bag chair. No wait, I want a bean bag saddle. I'm sure we sell those at the Buy More."
Sarah laughed and sank down next to him on the bed. "Now I know what to get you for Christmas."
"I asked Santa for a Zune actually," he retorted.
"The planet from the Star Warriors movies?"
Chuck gaped at her. There were so many things wrong with that question. "You…you…" He didn't know what to say. He'd never met someone who hadn't seen Star Wars before. Even Ellie had watched the movies at least once. "Movie marathon," he declared. "Once Beckman leaves, Maggie and I are going to educate you on everything Star Wars. You should probably set a whole weekend aside."
"Is that your idea of a real date?"
He wasn't expecting the question, but he was about to let the opportunity pass him by twice in one day. He shook his head.
"I love my kid, but you don't bring your daughter on a real date, at least not the first one. Where is Maggie, anyway?" he asked, belatedly realizing that he'd just botched it again. It was okay, though; he was fairly certain Sarah would say yes when he did ask as she'd already made plans for them to see each other once the arrangement was over. That, and the fact that she kept kissing him. A goofy grin spread across his face.
Sarah interrupted the thought. "Chuck, you've got to see this." She was over at the closet, peeking inside.
He had no intention of moving, but he supposed he had to get up at some point. Bracing himself he edged over to the side of the bed and stiffly pushed himself to his feet.
"You know," he said as he made his way across the room, wide-legged to ease some of the discomfort, "I now know why cowboys walk like this."
He reached the door after what felt like an eternity and Sarah stepped aside so he could see. Maggie was sitting on the floor, slumped against the wall, with her head drooping to the side. Chuck's heart swelled at the sight.
"It must've been all the excitement and fresh air," Sarah whispered.
"Yeah. Plus she had her nap early."
"What about her bath?" she asked. "I don't think we should wake her. That'll be cruel."
Chuck couldn't argue with her logic, or the pleading look she was giving him. "Fine," he said, "let's get her to bed."
Sarah didn't have to be told twice. She hunched down in front of Maggie and carefully extracted the pink footie pajamas that were hugged to her chest. Maggie stirred and Sarah froze, her arm half stretched out to hand Chuck the garment, but her eyes were fixed on Maggie's face. He was pretty sure she'd stopped breathing. Pulling the pajamas from her fingers and nudged Sarah's hand to get her attention.
"She's a sound sleeper."
Sarah nodded and he watched as she slid an arm under Maggie's knees and the other around her back. She lifted Maggie from the floor to cradle her against her chest. Chuck leaned forward to place a hand under Sarah's elbow, steadying her as she stood up. She flashed him a grateful smile before turning her gaze back to the bundle in her arms when a tiny fist scrunched instinctively into her shirt.
"Come on," he said when Sarah didn't move, "she's going to get heavy in a minute." He let go of her arm so she wouldn't have to wait for him to catch up. He reached back into the closet for a pair of sweatpants and socks and made the painful trek back to the bed.
Sarah had managed to pull back the covers before lying Maggie down. She gently loosened the girl's grip on her shirt and draped Maggie's arm over her stomach.
"You can leave her shirt on," Chuck said, and once Sarah had freed Maggie from her jeans, he passed her the change of clothes. He was amazed at the ease with which Sarah dressed her. "You're a fast learner."
"It helps when she doesn't squirm," Sarah replied lightly. She bent down to retrieve Mr. Oink from beside the bed, placed him next to Maggie and tucked the duvet tightly around the two of them. "Is this okay?" she asked, brushing a stray hair from Maggie's face.
"Nightlight." Chuck nodded towards the miniature castle on the bedside table. Sarah switched it on and he smiled. "Perfect." He leaned in carefully and pressed his lips to his daughter's forehead. "Goodnight Boo," he whispered.
Sarah was about to do the same when a voice from the door caused them both to freeze.
"Well isn't this sweet?"
71. Strip Tease
Sarah practically dragged Carina by the arm to her bedroom, grateful that Beckman wasn't in her usual chair with her nose in a book. She left the door slightly ajar so Beckman wouldn't see them if she returned, and that Chuck wouldn't have to knock.
"Damn," Carina said, rubbing her wrist, "the last time you man-handled me like that was right after we made bail."
"You deserved it for telling the police we were prostitutes." It was an old argument, but Sarah would rather bring it up again than give another awkward explanation. She'd reached her limit for the day.
Carina shrugged. "It was an honest mistake. Two women dressed like playboy bunnies, walking the streets at two in the morning – "
"We weren't walking the streets. We were getting into your boyfriend's car."
"Yeah, it was nice of him to come fetch us at the party. He was so photogenic too. I wonder if he still holds a grudge about the solicitation charge. Who knew that cop didn't have a sense of humor?"
"Was she supposed to find you funny before or after you called her butch?" Sarah asked as she walked over to the dresser.
"I meant it as a compliment."
"Of course you did." Sarah removed her earrings and – ignoring the thumb drive at the bottom of the case – dropped them into her jewelry box. Carina had made herself at home on the bed, her legs curled in under her as she leaned back on her arms. "That's Chuck's side," she said absentmindedly, focusing on her watch strap that seemed to be stuck for some reason.
Carina's jaw dropped in slow motion.
"It's not what you think," Chuck said from the doorway.
Sarah's head snapped up. She hadn't notice him come in and she wondered exactly how much he'd heard. Her arrest wasn't something she was proud of, even if her father had managed to get the charges dropped. It wasn't that she'd planned to keep it secret, but it wasn't something to be revealed until at least a double digit date, and Chuck had yet to ask her on a first one, despite the not-too-subtle hints she'd been dropping all day.
"Don't you knock?" Carina asked.
"I thought we've established that this is my room too." He shuffled to the bed and motioned for Carina to scoot over. She didn't move. Instead she gave him a once over, her gaze lingering on the cowboy hat he was holding.
"You're right, Chuck," Carina said with a smirk, "this is so not what I thought." She turned her head to Sarah. "Congratulations, Walker, you've finally rendered a man limp. I would give you bonus points for kinky – " She gestured to the hat. "But Giovanni's racecar bed has you beat." Then she got up and undid the button of her slacks. "I swear I still have a steering wheel imprint on my – "
"Carina!" Chuck covered his face with the Stetson.
"We get the picture," Sarah added as she grabbed Carina's arm to stop her from taking her pants off.
"Pictures." Carina snapped her fingers. "You are a genius." She twisted out of Sarah's hold and straightened her clothes. "I'll send you some."
"I need brain bleach," Chuck said before doing a body plant into the mattress, depositing the hat onto Sarah's side of the bed and covering his ears with his hands. "Let me know when she's gone." The pillow muffled his request, but neither woman missed it.
Carina leaned over and pried one of his hands away. "Seeing as I was willing to show you mine, can I see yours?"
Chuck's ears turned blood red and he groaned in response.
"Okay," Sarah interjected, "you've had your fun." She pulled Carina away from the bed and handed her her purse. "We need to get an early start tomorrow and you need your beauty sleep."
The redhead gaped at her. "You're kicking me out and calling me ugly?"
"No," Sarah said pointedly, "we have a lot to get done tomorrow and I need you alert." She left out the fact that Carina probably hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. Carina might have just taken it as an invitation to forward her pictures for real.
"Why?" Carina asked. "We have four days until Christmas. That's plenty of time to clinch the sale."
"Three. I'm taking Wednesday off and you get to entertain Beckman if uncle Roan's not around. I'll leave it to the two of you to work out the details."
Carina narrowed her eyes.
"I'm the boss and I can take a day off if I want," Sarah said, trying not to sound defensive.
"Not in the middle of this deal, you can't. What's so important anyway that you'd risk – " Carina stopped talking and looked at Chuck, sprawled out on the bed. Then she nearly choked on a big gulp of air. "Oh no," she said, waving a finger between Chuck and Sarah, "anything the two of you have planned – " She trailed off again and smacked Chuck's calf to get his attention.
He turned his head. "What?"
"Anything the two of you have planned," she repeated, "can wait until after Christmas."
"It's kind of pointless to watch The Nutcracker after Christmas," Sarah said.
Carina looked like she'd had an epiphany. "Take Beckman. A family outing is the perfect opportunity to convince her that this little charade is real."
"Done and done," Sarah replied. "We went horseback riding today." She took Carina by the shoulders and turned her in the direction of the door. "She's convinced." She wisely left out the attempt at making pancakes, which probably accounted for most of the convincing, and nudged Carina forward. "Now say 'Goodnight, Chuck'."
"Goodnight, Chuck." He grinned at his own wisecrack and Carina stuck her tongue out at him, which he returned in kind.
Just great, Sarah thought, I have three four-year olds.
72. Picture Perfect Moments
Chuck was lying on his stomach, playing Tetris on his phone, when Sarah returned from walking Carina to the door. He watched from the corner of his eye as she rounded the bed, picked up her laptop from the floor and placed it on the foot of the bed before sitting down next to him. He closed the game and slipped the phone under his pillow.
"Is Carina always so interesting?"
"She's worse around you," Sarah replied.
"At least no one's been arrested." He smirked and added "Yet."
"That's not funny." Despite the rebuff, he caught the corner of her mouth lift slightly and nudged her knee with his elbow.
"Do you still have the mug shots?"
She leaned closer, her eyes boring into his and his smile faltered. He could smell her vanilla shampoo and he swallowed. For a second he thought she was going to kiss him to shut him up, but she stayed just out of the reach.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Chuck, but the pictures were of my face."
"I – " He cleared his throat when he realized his voice was a little gruff. "I know that."
Sarah raised an amused eyebrow. Then, pleased that she'd put him in his place, she got off the bed and headed for the bathroom. She re-emerged almost immediately, first aid kit in hand.
"Is your butt still broken?"
"My daughter is a bad influence on you," he shot back.
Sarah laughed at that and placed the bag next to him. She unzipped it and took out a tube of cream before scratching around the contents, clearly not finding what she was looking for.
"I think I'm out of muscle relaxants," she said, abandoning her search. "But at least I have something for the chafing."
"How did you know about that?" He'd specifically omitted that little detail when she'd asked earlier, given where that particular injury was situated.
"The double stitch seams on your jeans," she said. "That's asking for trouble."
"Live, injure and learn, I guess." Now he understood why she'd apologized, but to be fair, who would check if a grown man had dressed himself appropriately?
Sarah twisted the cap off and squeezed the bottom of the tube to get the air out.
"Do you need help with your pants?" she asked.
Chuck blinked twice, not sure if he'd heard her correctly. "Excuse me?"
"Do you need help taking off your pants?" She held up the tube. "How else do you expect me to apply this?"
"I can do it."
Sarah shot him a skeptical look. "Were you planning on doing it on your back, or standing up which will most likely lead to falling down and possibly hitting your head?"
She had a point, but that didn't mean he was about to strip for her. His hand reached for his waistband and gripped it tight, like his pants could disappear at any moment.
"You know what," he said, "it's really not that bad. I'm sure I'll be fine by morning."
"Chuck," Sarah said slowly, clearly trying to hold onto her patience, "you live with two doctors. Surely I don't have to explain infections to you."
He couldn't argue with that either, but then what she'd said gave him an idea.
"Okay, you're right, but I'm really not comfortable with this."
"I'm open to suggestions."
"Are you open to driving me over to my sister's?"
"Chuck, you're barely in any shape to walk, let alone sit down. And what are we going to do with Maggie? There's no one here to babysit and I'm not waking her up to take her with us. Plus, it's chilly outside, she might catch a cold."
"Will you stop shooting down my ideas?" he asked, even though he knew he was hands down losing this negotiation.
"I'm just being practical," Sarah said. "Would you really feel more comfortable if your sister did this?"
His eyes widened. "What?" Then he realized how she'd jumped to that conclusion. "No, I meant Devon. I mean, he's a guy…and a doctor, which makes it slightly better. No offence," he added. It wasn't an ideal solution, but he could suffer through. Captain Awesome was a professional after all.
Sarah shrugged a shoulder and closed the tube. "Your body, your preference."
"You make it sound like I – " Chuck caught himself in time. "Okay, good," he said instead. "It's not too late, I'm sure Devon and Ellie will make a house call, if that's okay with you. Devon's not the best liar, but they wouldn't blow our cover on purpose."
"Of course," Sarah said. "I think Beckman's gone to bed already in any case." She screwed the cap of the antiseptic cream back on and started to clean up her side of the bed. "I take it you and Ellie's fiancé are close?"
"He's like an older brother, I suppose, and he's made it his mission to help me be awesome. He even taught me to tango. I just wish he'd worn more than a towel at the time." Chuck had no idea why he'd felt the need to disclose that particular piece of information. To his chagrin, the confession cracked Sarah up completely.
"Oh please tell me you have pictures."
Chuck choked on nothing and before he could come up with a response other than 'show me yours and I'll show you mine', Sarah sobered.
"You lied to me. You told me last night that you can't dance."
"In my defense," Chuck said, "he taught me the girl's part."
To her credit Sarah tried not to laugh again, but a little snort escaped anyway. She covered by gathering the first aid kit to return it to the bathroom.
"I'll make you a deal," she said. "I'll watch all your geeky movies if you let me teach you how to dance."
He had every intention to correct her about the geeky part, but an image of Sarah Walker dancing the Tango in nothing but a towel unintentionally sprang to mind and nearly short-circuited his brain.
A/N: Merry Christmas to all who celebrate. Enjoy the day and if you travel, please be safe.