because nobody likes a vague disclaimer: Most characters belong to the fantastical Joss Whedon.

Angel POV.

Chapter XI: One World Was Not Enough For Two, Like Me And You.

from Her Voice by Oscar Wilde

†

I make it all the way to Arizona only to find out she'd long since checked out, and was probably well out of state limits. Thanks to the the skills I still have, and the smallness of the town, finding her next destination turns out not to be too difficult. So a couple of hours later I continue my trek east, and I can't pinpoint it exactly, but something akin to anticipation stirs under my skin as I drive to New Mexico.

I'm not sure what my intentions are, I only know that I need to see her. To make sure she's alright, or at least that's what I'd told myself. But when the greasy man behind the front counter hands me the message to give to Buffy, and I see the note, my mood darkens drastically. I storm to her room, barely containing the jealousy(?) I feel brewing inside.

But as it turns out, her words are a reaffirmation of how over we really are. I think of Nina's words months ago. I feel as if every conversation we've had since I returned to earth has always lead to the same place.

But it's the look in her eyes that cements it for me. It's not my job to save her.

The long road back to Los Angeles is interrupted by a call from Nina, and thankfully i'd only just parked the car at an empty rest stop when the phone rings.

"Angel."

"Nina." I say, and I don't know why saying it like that seems to bother me so much.

"How was your flight?"

"Long."

Her voice sounds heavy as she speaks, and I remember that she's never been fond of flying.

"It was ok though. Paola picked me up at the airport, so that was great."

She already sounds happier than she has in a long time, and I know i'm not gonna have the guts to tell her where i've been. I'm beginning to think that the man I was before the turn, never left after all.

"That's nice of her. How's she doing?" I hear myself ask.

She begins regaling me with all the news she'd heard from her friend, and I try hard to pay close attention to everything she's saying.

"The apartment is good. There was a leak, but Paola had it taken care of. Luckily she dropped by just after it happened, so there wasn't much damage. Other than that, our abode is safe and secure."

She seems to be finished, and I can't seem to find the rights words to follow up with. Just as I'm about to say the first thing that comes to mind, she speaks first.

"What've you been up to?"

Her voice sounds genuinely curious, and I lie.

"Not much really. I picked up some supplies I needed, but by the time I got home it was late, so I read a little."

"I take it you just woke up then." She replies teasingly.

By her tone, it's clear she doesn't seem to have any doubts on what i've been up to, and the guilt feels like a pit in my stomach.

"I'll start in a bit. I'll have the lobby done by the time you get back." I say trying to sound invested in the idea.

She's suddenly tense, "Well, i'm sure you're itching for your morning coffee, and I'm meeting a couple friends for dinner soon. I just wanted to check in, let you know i'm safe and sound."

"I'm glad you did." I answer simply. "Have fun tonight."

"I'll call again soon. Love you."

She hangs up before I get the chance to say it back.

I end up spending the rest of the trip home contemplating our conversation, and why she'd gone so stiff at the end of it. The juxtaposition of my thoughts before and after that call do not go by unnoticed, and by the time I reach Los Angeles, I end up driving directly to the hardware store and buy everything I'd lied about, probably in an effort to assuage the familiar feelings of guilt and self loathing.

For the next three days, I busy my mind with the task of repairing the lobby, and by the time I'm done, I've managed to convince myself that my trip to Buffyland was nothing more than the closure I needed to end everything she and I ever were.

I realize now, this is the way it's supposed to be.

A/N:Yeah, so Angel is kind of an idiot. But don't worry, that'll all change soon. Another short chapter but this will be the last, that's a promise.

Thanks again for everything, especially putting up with slow updates. Buffy next!