It's a Wonderful Cover Life
A/N: One, two, three, four, get the kid back in the door! – Mike Wazowski.
Gosh, you guys are reviewing like you're getting paid to do so. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Now I don't normally update on a Sunday, but Nervert has been his awesome self and got this back to me in record time, there aren't enough thank you's on the planet, buddy. You are the Turner to my Hooch.
The second reason I'm updating – our stores officially started playing Christmas carols yesterday! It's time to start catching the spirit. Some of you asked whether this story will be done by Christmas this year. I highly doubt that as there will be another ten plus chapters to follow.
Okay, let's get to the reason you're here – a new chapter. Enjoy.
I don't own Chuck or any of the shows and movies referenced in this story. Same goes for the fantastic What Fates Impose, writen by the aca-awesome Frea O'Scanlin.
82. It's Complicated
"You love her?"
"I…uh…" Chuck pursed his lips, then puffed his cheeks before releasing the air with a pop. "It's too soon to say." It was, really. It was exactly a week ago that Sarah had literally walked through the Buy More doors and into his life, and then turned it upside down with her proposal.
"How long does it take to fall in love?" Morgan asked.
That was a surprisingly insightful question – one Chuck didn't have an answer to. Yes, he was attracted to Sarah – his whole body was still buzzing from this morning's incident – and it was more than just a physical attraction. He enjoyed spending time with her, it didn't matter that she was paying him for it.
His mind ground to a halt. How did he not see that? She was paying him, essentially to spend time with her. And if during that time they happened to…Oh, God, he was a gigolo. Or on his way to becoming one, should they take things further while he was on the clock, so to speak.
He could of course decline the money, but a hundred thousand dollars was a lot to turn down, and he needed it to put his future on the right path. Not only his future, but Maggie's too. Staying at the Buy More just didn't seem viable anymore. Maggie deserved better than that, and so did Sarah. He needed to be his own man because he meant what he'd told Morgan – Sarah was not a meal ticket. Accepting money from her wasn't an option unless he'd earned it, and earned it respectably.
Or he could wait a week until Beckman went home, effectively ending the arrangement he and Sarah had. Then, though, he'd be moving out and starting his own business while looking for a new place to stay and raising his daughter by himself. And he was sure Sarah too had plans for when it was all over. What if life got in the way and despite their best intentions the thing between them fizzled out because they let this opportunity slip through their fingers?
Chuck groaned out loud.
"Is that a yes?" Morgan asked. "Or do you need to think about it some more?"
"Sarah and I…it's complicated."
"You know what would be complicated? If Sarah was an undercover agent with the C.I.A. sent here to protect you because somehow you'd managed to download all the government's secrets into your brain, and she needed to pretend to be your girlfriend to stay close to you, but you guys fell in love for real, only you couldn't do anything about it because the C.I.A. had some stupid rule about assets and agents fraternizing and if you were caught she'd be shipped off to Jakarta to fight a revolution, armed only with a fork, and you'd be thrown into a bunker in Siberia to decipher YouTube videos of furry kittens for possible terrorist code messages, never to be heard from by your friends or your family ever again."
"Uh…wow, that's quite an imagination you have there, buddy."
"Thank you." Morgan attempted a theatrical bow the best he could in the small space between the headrest and the steering wheel. "It's the beard."
Absurd as Morgan's scenario was, Chuck felt somewhat comforted. He couldn't imagine being stuck in that situation, but his brain did a pretty good job of conjuring up Sarah, dressed in a black leather cat suit, taking down a burly baddy with some very impressive ninja moves. The image was beyond hot, which put him right back in the middle of his dilemma.
He needed a second opinion on their situation.
Watching Morgan from his peripheral Chuck wondered if it would be a good idea to let his best friend in on the truth. Talking to Ellie was out of the question – there was no way on this green earth that he was going to discuss his sex life with his sister, or any other female for that matter. Devon would probably tell him that "it's like riding a bike" and to "lock it out", which wouldn't be helpful at all. It was bad enough that they'd witnessed his faux pas the night before. That basically left Casey, and Chuck tended to get a little woozy at the sight of his own blood. Morgan had some surprising insight at times and the guy was loyal to a T, one of the qualities Chuck most admired about him. These did not include his motor vehicle handling skills.
"Hey, buddy," Chuck said when they'd encountered another red light and Morgan's wouldn't have to divide his attention. "How about we have lunch today at S'barro's? My treat."
83. Crush Boom Bang
"Do you think we'd get this done sooner if we move the negotiations to the ladies' room?" Carina asked once Beckman had excused herself for the fourth time to go powder her nose. "It's like she has a spastic colon or something."
"You know your medical plan doesn't cover you for Botox, right?" Sarah rubbed a finger up the bridge of her nose, but that just caused the two parallel lines between the redhead's eyebrows to deepen.
"Shouldn't you be checking on the ankle biter?" Carina shot back. "And you still haven't told me why she's your tail today."
Sarah wanted to, but she knew Maggie was perfectly safe, being entertained by her personal assistant under the watchful eye of the head of Walker Enterprises' security.
"Don't call her that, and don't complain – it's good for the cover."
"Cover, my ass."
Sarah ignored the remark. "Actually," she said, "I need to talk to you about her."
"Oh, no, no, no." Carina shook her head, signaling timeout. "Forget it. I don't babysit. I don't do poop and spit. Not even for this deal."
Sarah felt the corner of her mouth tug upwards. "Fun as that would be to watch, it's not what I mean. This is a legal matter."
"Are you suing her? Did she take a permanent marker to the Renoir in the living room?" The thought seemed to perk Carina right up as she rubbed her hands together in glee. "We can get an execution order on her teeth and take her for all future tooth fairy income."
Sarah rolled her eyes. "The Renoir is fine and the last time I checked the tooth fairy didn't make kids millionaires." She placed her pen on the draft contract in front of her and moved the stack of paper to the side. "I want to run something by you, but it has to stay between us."
"Please don't tell me you're gaga for the kid and want to sue Chuck for custody."
"No, this is about Chuck's custody. I think there's a possibility that he may not be Maggie's biological father." Sarah had been awake half the night debating with herself whether or not to just forget what Chuck had told her, but she'd never been the type to sit back and hope for the best.
Carina seemed surprised by the news. "You mean he could get out of the single daddy gig? Lucky bastard."
"Will you be serious for a minute?"
The redhead mumbled something unintelligible under her breath. Sarah took it as an agreement.
"Chuck is Maggie's father in all the ways that count, but if it turns out that there's no biological connection…it could create complications, and I want to make sure that doesn't happen. We need to be prepared, should the frog hit the fan."
"You've got to explain this newly found obsession with frogs to me sometime," Carina said. Then she settled back in her chair with her arms folded across her chest, and slipped into lawyer mode like Sarah had seen her do several times during their years of working together. "Family Law is not my area of expertise, but I can do some research, talk to some people. I'll be discreet," she said when Sarah was about to interrupt. "I'd have to know exactly what the situation is, though. Has Chuck said anything specific or – " She trailed off, giving Sarah an opportunity to fill in the blanks.
"No, he just has a suspicion. I mean, going on resemblance alone, it's hard to tell. I don't even know what Chuck's ex looks like."
"In that case I'll need to establish paternity first and find out what happened to the mother."
Sarah tried not to flinch at the word. Anyone who left a ten day old baby on a doorstep and made a run for it, wasn't worthy of the title in her opinion.
"If you could get me some hair or a toothbrush or something for DNA testing – "
"No," Sarah said firmly. "I can't be involved in this."
Carina squinted at her. "Does Chuck know you're doing this?"
With a quick shake of her head Sarah leaned forward, lowering her voice. "No, and he can't know. Whatever you find out you need to keep to yourself. Just make sure that there's a strategy in place – "
"Should frogs go flying. Got it. And you want deniability."
"It's not that. I don't want to be in the position where I'd have to choose between giving Chuck news that will devastate him, or keeping a secret that could ruin – " Sarah realized what she was saying and stopped herself, but it was too late. She grabbed her purse and started rummaging through it to avoid the look she was getting from her best friend.
"What did I miss?" Carina asked. "When I left you at the club on Saturday you were pretty peeved at him, and now you're not only sharing a bed, but your darkest, deepest secrets too. Just how big of a crush to you have on this guy?"
"It couldn't be bigger if I were Texan." It was pointless to deny the truth as Carina had a tendency to keep digging. Sarah located the thumb drive and dropped her bag back to the ground. Then she slid it across the table to her very stunned best friend. "This might help. Or it might not."
Carina snapped her jaw shut, surprisingly not saying anything about Sarah's confession. She studied the drive for a moment and then Sarah. "What is it?"
"A background check uncle Roan ran on Chuck. I haven't looked at it." Truthfully she'd been fully intent on giving it to Chuck along with an apology for her uncle overstepping, but given what she knew now she couldn't risk it containing the kind of news she was trying to protect him from.
"God, you've got it bad." Carina palmed the thumb drive and slipped it into her clutch. "Are you sure you want to be kept in the dark about what Roan found? If we had done this kind of research on Bryce beforehand – "
"Chuck is not Bryce," Sarah snapped. "Why do you keep bringing him up? I made a mistake. Get over it."
"Fine," Carina said, raising her palms defensively. "You're right. I don't see Chuck sleeping with you, half the finance department and the mailroom guy to gain access to your bank accounts so he can steal money to buy him and his fiancé a penthouse in Manhattan."
Sarah took a calming breath. Trust Carina to keep hammering on the details. "At least he lives on a different coast now."
"Small consolation. For the record, I still don't think we should let him get away with it."
"I can do without the public humiliation." Though only Carina, Casey, and by extent Gertrude, knew what really happened, Sarah felt embarrassed enough. She didn't care what people thought of her, but no one wanted to be perceived as naïve and stupid.
"Fair enough." Carina scribbled something in her notebook. "You're going to owe me for this," she said. "I'll take an IOU on the Botox and I'm definitely going to be your maid of honor."
"Who's getting married?" Beckman asked, causing both women to look up sharply. Neither of them had noticed her making her way across the room.
"Sarah," Carina replied without missing a beat. "She and Chuck are renewing their vows for their fifth anniversary to make up for the fact that their wedding was a quick courthouse affair, seeing as she was already showing."
"Wasn't Maggie your honeymoon baby?" Beckman asked.
Sarah was too busy killing Carina in her head to answer, not that she knew how to answer.
"That's the official story," Carina replied on Sarah's behalf, smiling innocently. "These crazy kids, they couldn't wait to jump into domestic bliss. You will be there, won't you? I'll make sure to send you an invite."
Sarah had to hand it to Carina for keeping her pose after being kicked in the shin.
"I wouldn't want to impose," Beckman said.
"Nonsense." Carina waved the comment off. "You're practically family. We'll save you a front row seat."
84. The Beard That Holds the Secrets
"A pizza with only cheese – it's genius. Simple, yet elegant." Morgan twirled the strings of mozzarella hanging over the edges of the crust around his finger before sticking it in his mouth. "But back to your problem," he said with a mouthful of cheese. "You need to make sure she understands what she's paying you for and what she's not paying you for. When you're doing the fake husband stuff, then ka-ching, but if it's real boyfriend stuff, then it's only your pleasure. And hers. It's like this pizza, simple, yet – "
"Elegant," Chuck replied before Morgan could steer the conversation into dangerous territory. He put his half-eaten slice on the lid of the box and wiped his fingers on one of the paper napkins. They'd opted to eat down in the cage where Chuck had been hiding out all day. Though he liked spending time with his buddy, he couldn't stop thinking about the last time he'd had lunch down here. He sure hoped that Sarah's fortune came true, because he was dying to know what had made her look at him the way she had.
"Exactly," Morgan said, pulling Chuck from his thoughts.
"But what happens when the two overlap? Say I kiss her in front of Beckman to sell the cover that I'm her husband, but I enjoy the kiss because I'm her boyfriend – "
"You're overthinking this, Chuck. She's paying you to wear a ring." Morgan's eyes darted to Chuck's finger which was empty as he'd made sure that the ring was safely put away in his locker. "Explain to her beforehand that one thing has got nothing to do with the other."
Chuck thought it over as he took a sip of soda. His buddy had a point, talking was probably a good place to start.
"And by one thing," Morgan continued, "I mean your arrangement, and by the other I'm obviously referring to sex, because buddy, you'd be a fool to share her bed all week and not try to have sex with her."
Chuck coughed in surprise, spraying grape soda all over his workbench. He grabbed a handful of napkins to try and minimize the damage as he didn't want to explain to Mr. Colt why his computer was in worse shape than when it came in. Casey had nothing on that guy in the 'being imposing' department. And he really didn't want to discuss the intimate, intimate details with anyone. Morgan, however, didn't share the same sentiment.
"But that's your plan, isn't it?" Morgan wiped the side of his beard where he'd taken a hit with the back of his hand. "I mean, you wouldn't have gone to Large Mart for two boxes of condoms if you weren't intent on getting biblical with Sarah. And what's wrong with the stuff we sell anyway? Sure, we don't have the fruity flavored ones, but glow-in-the-dark sounds like fun, and it could be helpful too, if she prefers the lights off."
"Thank you Morgan," Chuck said, his eyes pressed closed in an attempt to blot out the last 20 seconds. "You've been very helpful."
"Always a pleasure. So does this mean you'll consider the glow-in-the-dark condoms? I can ring a few boxes up for you. It will really help with my daily target because I haven't sold anything yet today, and you can't have too many con–"
"It's four days before Christmas, buddy, so meeting your quota should be easy, plus it's still early." Normally he wouldn't mind helping his friend, but he'd snuck out through the loading doors for a reason, taking the back way to neighboring store. Then it occurred to him. "Morgan, how did you know I went to Large Mart? And more importantly, what I bought?"
"Jeff and Lester followed you. Lester suspects you're cheating on your bet."
"Wait, you know about that?"
"Everyone does."
Chuck sighed. "Of course they do." He swung his chair to face Morgan head-on. "Okay, buddy, listen. The bet is bogus, has been from the start. Can you make sure everybody knows that? I'm a happily fake-married man, but that should be kept under wraps. And what we'd discussed just now stays in the beard."
"You're not making this easy." Morgan jumped from his perch on a side table and dusted the seat of his pants. "But don't worry Han," he said, "Chewie's got your six."
85. Tea for Three
They were in the middle of finalizing the stock values when Sarah's phone screen lit up, displaying a grinning Chuck Bartowski. Beckman noticed it too as she leaned closer and pushed the phone at her.
"We can spare you for a few minutes," Beckman said, winking at Sarah.
"That's her Chuck," Carina said, barely hiding her irritation at the interruption. "Always checking up."
"Like a good husband should," Beckman replied.
"It shouldn't take long," Sarah said, hoping to placate both women.
She grabbed the phone and stepped out of the boardroom for some privacy. She swiped the answer button as she made her way down the short hallway to the reception area.
"Hi, Chuck."
"Hey," he said. "Listen, I just had a call from Superman – "
"Is Metropolis having a computer emergency?"
The line went silent for a moment and she wondered if Chuck would figure out that she'd snuck a peek at his reading material he kept in the nightstand. Or maybe he thought she was trying to be funny, and wasn't, and he didn't know how to tell her.
"Is it wrong to think that's hot?" he asked.
That would beat funny, Sarah decided. She didn't voice it, and Chuck took it upon himself to continue the conversation.
"Anyway," he said, "Superman Shaw called, the Daycare – "
"Please don't say director," Sarah interjected. "That's just ridiculous."
"So you have met. He tells me that a giant blonde she-male attacked him and kidnapped my daughter. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"
"He called me what?" Sarah took a deep breath to calm herself. Who cared what that lump of wood thought of her anyway? "Now I wish I had kicked him. Or at the very least shoved that list of his up his – "
Chuck cleared his throat, cutting her off.
"Nose," Sarah said.
"Very good." Chuck snickered. "Don't worry, I set him straight, and I made sure he added you to the list. I'm sorry, I really didn't think it was going to be a problem dropping her off. He can be a little – " He trailed off, probably looking for the right adjective.
"Nasal?" Sarah supplied.
Chuck laughed again and she felt a pleasant tingle run up her spine. He thought she was funny after all.
"Maggie is with me," she said once Chuck had sobered. "Don't worry, she's in good hands, promise."
"I don't doubt that for a second, but unless Walker Enterprises is a toy factory, she's going to get bored and drive you up the wall."
Sarah didn't tell Chuck that Tyler's office could very well be mistaken for a toy factory, thanks to her capable assistant. She'd had her reservations when the agency had sent over the down-on-his-luck British rock star, but Tyler Martin had proven to be quite the asset and at least his suit covered up most of his tattoos. And watching them through the glass wall, it seemed he was a hit with kids too.
"She's not bored."
Maggie was hosting a tea party for the two men assigned to look after her and Sarah tried hard not to grin at Langston Graham, who had practically folded himself in three to fit on the child-size chair. At least he'd had the foresight to push two chairs together, not that it seemed to be helping any as the legs still buckled under his muscular frame. When he brought the tiny plastic tea cup to his lips and pretended to take a sip, Sarah had to remind herself that taking a picture for the company newsletter would be wrong on so many levels. No one would ever fear the Head of Security again.
The distinct sound of metal hitting the floor with a cling, followed by someone yelling "hot potato", drew Sarah's attention back to the phone call.
"Chuck, where are you?"
"In…uhm…in bed. That was the TV." She quirked an eyebrow at that, though he couldn't see her.
"There's no TV in our bedroom, so unless you're in someone else's bed – " She trailed off, waiting for him to take the bait.
"Buy More," Chuck replied quickly. "I'm at the Buy More. Don't be mad."
She shook her head. Getting the truth out of the man was just too easy sometimes. "You're supposed to be at home recuperating."
"I got bored at home because you weren't there to entertain me…and that came out so wrong because I know we can't…not until I'm…uh…you'll be happy to know though that I'm prepared for when we…oh, man…that's not – "
Sarah bit her bottom lip to stop herself from telling him she understood what he'd meant before he had started rambling on, because frankly, it was way too much fun to hear him dig that hole deeper. She could just imagine how flushed his face must be. And it's not like her mouth hadn't run away with her a time or two.
"Can you take Maggie to her ballet rehearsal?" Chuck asked, catching her completely off guard.
"I…uh…"
"The thing is, I can't drive. Morgan fetched me this morning and I've arranged with Ellie to take her, but that was before I knew Maggie wasn't at Daycare, because if they don't leave from the hospital right after Ellie's shift ends they'll be late, and Awesome is in surgery all day, and I know it's a lot to ask, but the recital is on Thursday and Miss Easton said that whoever misses rehearsals this week won't be able to participate, and personally I think that's wrong, but she's a little scary and I don't want to cross her and risk having Maggie disappointed, so right now you are the only options because Casey drives like a maniac and Morgan's guardian angel has already pulled overtime today and there's no way I'm putting her in Loretta with Jeff and Lester – "
"Chuck," Sarah cut in, "breathe. I'll take her."
"But you don't even know when and where and if you're available."
"I'm available. Just text me the info."
"Carina is not going to like it, if you're supposed to be working, I mean."
Sarah rolled her eyes. "Last time I checked I was still her boss. And Beckman won't mind, she keeps telling me that family comes before business."
"So it will be good for cover."
"It's not a cover," Sarah said before she could stop herself. She knew how Chuck would take that and he'd probably apologize, so she tried to come up with something to say before he did, but she didn't get the chance.
"I'm glad you feel that way," he said, to her surprise.
A slow smile spread across her features. "You are?"
"Yeah, and we really need to talk about this…you know…us. Tonight will probably work, seeing as we can't – "
"Sounds like a plan," she said before he could grab that virtual shovel again, and just because she couldn't help herself, she added "See you at home, Chuck."
A/N: And see you back here soon-ish!