So, here it is. The end, after an eternity of nothing. Not my best work, but better now than letting another year go by. Thanks for reading. An epilogue to soon follow.

WARNING: This chapter features both POVS. Buffy will be bold and italicized to avoid confusion (hopefully).

Chapter XIX: Nothing In The World Is Single, All Things By A Law Divine In One Another's Being Mingle—Why Not I With Thine?

from Love's Philosophy by Percy Bysshe Shelley

†

My expression gets serious all of a sudden as I answer, "I'm tired of all the unspoken words between us, Buffy. Of all the miscommunication that has lead us here. There are so many things I left unsaid, things that might have changed the course of our lives."

I stop, unsure how I should continue.

After a few seconds, I resume, "And then, Nina happened."

I flinch slightly at the name, and wrap my arms around myself, trying to mimic the feeling within.

Sensing her distress, I almost stop there, but I know I need to continue.

"She was there for me even when I was a hollow shell of myself. Her darkness saved me from my own. It was that part of her which allowed me to let her in. In a way, she was just like me. Possessed by a demon like mine, one neither one of us was in full control of. I never expected to, but I grew to love her."

My words seem to suddenly be too much because she walks past me but I make no move to stop her, so she ends up in front of the window.

He seems to think this information will help somehow but it doesn't. He doesn't seem to realize there's darkness in me too, and I have my own demons; literal and metaphorical. And though he knows me body and soul, he can't seem to see this side of me. I'm just as much a slave to the night as he once was, and as Nina still is.

The moon hangs up above me, his reflection behind, and the sight of them both pins me still.

"You don't have to continue, I know all the rest," I say.

I look at her back since her mirrored image is too dim to catch her eyes.

"But you don't."

She doesn't turn to face me as I thought she would, so I continue.

"When Faith called me, when she told me what happened, my only concern was you. But I stupidly believed it was only duty that lead me there. And then you were so distant. In the past, you always let me in, but that time, you didn't. If I still had any illusions about us, those few days vanquished them. And after having been four years apart, I truly believed that what we had was over. Consequently, I made a lot of foolish decisions because of that."

Unable to hear him narrate our finality any longer I ask impatiently, "Where are you going with all this?"

"In the hospital, I realized you knew about the Shanshu since you never brought my humanity up. What I don't think you know, and what I denied to myself from the moment it happened, is how I got it in the first place."

"I think its pretty obvious, you saved the world," She answers sarcastically.

"Redemption and that whole chestnut," She adds after a moment, her voice suddenly wistful.

"Well, you're not wrong. Aside from your context."

Confused, she finally turns towards me.

"I saved the world, my world."

She looks perplexed still, so I clarify, "You. It was saving your life, that gave me my own."

The air grows silent between us, until finally, exasperated she says, "I'm sure all that was extremely difficult to say, especially for you, but I still don't understand what you want me to do with this knowledge."

I stand then, and walk over to her. Up close, I can see the slight changes in her appearance. The sharp angles of her curves are replaced by a softness I haven't seen on her since she was young and unfettered by life on a Hellmouth. I'm mostly referring to myself, and what happened consequently after that fateful night of her 17th birthday.

Not only is there a vitality about her and a blush on her skin, there is a calmness in her eyes, acutely distinct from the storm I usually see in them. As if she's found some sort of peace in the chaos of this city. Realizing the truth of the notion, it all suddenly doesn't matter anymore. Not the past, not all the words I planned on saying, not even the fear of her potential rejection.

"I'm trying to tell you that I love you Buffy. I always have, I always will," I say then, my voice laced with acceptance, because I know I have no choice in the matter, and I wouldn't change it even if I could.

I want to respond to his declaration, rejoice in the certainty of finally knowing his heart. But then I remember that that fact has never held him to my side before. And I remember Nina.

I part my lips to speak, her name on the tip of my tongue, but he says, "Before you say anything, know this: Nina and I ended things. Just before Cleveland."

I don't know how to react to that information. Am I supposed to feel relief at a good woman's broken heart? Am I supposed to forget the mind numbing fear that he'll hurt me again? All I know for certain, is that it's a safer course to tell him to go. I know that if he broke me again, all the horses and all the king's men wouldn't be able to fix me again.

But I can't do that either. If he leaves, and I never see him again, I might break anyway. So, I choose the familiar voice of silence instead, unable to speak, unable to move.

Although still with her arms crossed around herself, I see her walls of protection start to slip, giving me the courage I need. The only connection I have in this moment are her eyes locked onto my own. Needing more than that, I reach out to hold her.

Seeing him extend his arm out for me fills me with fear. I can't let him touch me or I might really break apart now, can't hide the desperation and weakness in my voice when I beg, "Wait."

His arm drops quickly, but otherwise he doesn't move.

"As long as you need," He replies simply.

I don't say anything at first because I suddenly realize, our meeting is not going to end the way it does in the movies, but maybe that's ok. It was no lie when he spoke of all the things we never said to each other, and I know it played a big part in our relationship, and in its end.

"I'm finally- I'm getting to a better place. It's taken me this long to finally feel like i'm ok. Like I can handle my life. With everything that's happened, it's probably the last time-my last chance. And you and me, it's-"

I make the sound of an explosion, as there is no better way to explain what Angel and I have. He nods, and by the look on his face he doesn't seem to like where I'm going with this.

"You know? I just don't think I have it in me to go through it have just never worked out for us. Maybe they were never supposed to."

While it was true that things between them had always been difficult, that was no longer the case.

"You can't believe that, not anymore."

"I do," She replies simply, as if there were nothing truer.

She's stubborn to a fault, but so am I.

"One day you'll come to your senses, and I will be here waiting when you do."

I want nothing more than to touch her, but it's clear she's not ready for that. I look into her eyes for one last moment then turn to leave, to give her the space I know she needs right now.

I continue to stand still, lost in the quicksand of fear sinking me. His steps are laggard and unwilling all at the same time. When he reaches the door and opens it, he pauses.

"I'll be seeing you Buffy," He says turning to look at me.

Quickly, I turn to face him.

"Angel!" I blurt out so forcefully it's almost a shout.

He's halfway out the door when he stops, but doesn't turn back towards me, only shifts his head sideways to let me know he's listening.

I step closer to him, my apprehension towards heartbreak finally fractured.

"Don't go," I plea.

After a moment of stillness even a vampire would be impressed by, he faces me.

"I don't want to," He says at first.

"But I though you didn't want me to stay," He adds.

Quietly, I move to stand in front of him. Without words, I reach past him, my skin inches away from his own, and close the door behind him. Our gaze fixated on one another, I see the thrill of desire that flashes through his eyes at my proximity.

"I was afraid," I admit.

"I have that effect on people sometimes," His voice retaining the same tone of defeat from before.

Usually here, I'd use some play on words, or a joke about his misunderstanding. Right now, I just want to erase the melancholy in his features.

"Not of you. Never of you."

I speak soothingly, and hesitantly extend my arm, placing my fingers over his now pulsing heart. I look down at my hand, and smile. Forgetting the rest of my words, when his own lands over mine.

"Afraid of what then?" I prompt even though I could stand like this forever.

Her face turns back up towards mine, her face all seriousness again.

"I was afraid of opening my heart. But then you almost walked out that door, and then I was more afraid of never seeing you again."

I pull her closer to me with my free arm until she's pressed tightly against me. My hand moves from over hers to her back, just as hers slides up to pull herself closer. My lips descend on hers, and even human, I've never felt so alive as I do in this moment.