Chapter Nine

The Madge has given me etiquette lessons over the past few weeks. It amazes me the amount of rules there are just on how to conduct yourself. Sit up straight; elbows off the table; shake hands; curtsey; feet together; smile. That one is the hardest. Smile. Why should I smile unless something makes me particularly happy? That being said, I have found myself enjoying the company of the Madge. She understands me and she isn't as irritating as I thought she would be. It seems that my first direct impression of females of the human species (i.e the Delly) was not the most favorable.

The Delly is having what the Madge described as 'a homecoming ball'. Apparently, human species sometimes celebrate their returning from other places. The Delly wishes to have this 'ball' to celebrate her and the Peeta's return from my jungle. I'm not entirely sure why but the Madge tells me it would be a perfect opportunity to try some of the etiquette she has taught me. It should be interesting.

If there is one thing I dislike about the human customs, is the treatment of the females. It has become clear to me that they are considered lower than the males. They are treated almost like accessories on the male's arm, especially when travelling in pairs. The Madge told me that this is because in 'God's' eyes, the males are superior because he created a human called Adam before Eve. However, when she told me this, she lowered her voice and mentioned that before Eve there was a female called Lilith but Lilith refused to submit to Adam and was banished by this 'God'. I prefer the Madge's version, even if she told me not to repeat it to anyone else.

When not being taught etiquette by the Madge, the Peeta takes me on walks around London. Well, more like he suggests and I take the lead, making it clear where I want to go and explore. I doubt he minds, since he already knows the place like the back of his hand. Back at their shelter-when the Delly isn't around-the Peeta teaches me this form of communication called 'sign language'. He explained to me that his father had been in an accident before he was born and was deaf as a consequence. The only way the Peeta or his other family members could communicate with him was by learning sign language. I have picked it up pretty quick and hope to someday be able to spell out the rest of my name for him. Until then, I am happy to be called Kat. Half a name is better than no name at all.

The 'homecoming ball' is held in a large hall along one of the many corridors in the Peeta and the Delly's huge shelter. So many people come. So many humans. All of varying colors of hair; colour; height and weight. The females all garments to mine that are so similar but so different at the same time. They have skirts but the materials are different. The design; the coloring. No two female's outfits match.

A couple of days previous, the Peeta asked me what my favourite colour was. He used these things called 'charcoals' to show me what the different types of colour where. The sky; the dirt; the sun; the grass; and the blood. That's what I call them, as the titles the Peeta told me slipped my mind so easily. My favourite, of course, was the grass. It reminds me of home. I wasn't sure why he had asked me this at first but on the evening of the 'ball', I was astonished at the sight of a gorgeous grass colour dress lying on my bed. I wonder even now if it belonged to the Delly, like the others I have worn as of so far, or if it's brand new. Surely it wouldn't be. The Peeta wouldn't waste his tokens on me. Right?

I do not talk to anyone at the 'ball'. I do not have a reason to. Besides, the Peeta is the only human I have met so far who knows the language of the signs and no one else can read my eyes. I see the Peeta occasionally trying to slip away to join me, meeting my eyes for a fleeting second, before being dragged back by the Delly, who holds so much strength in such a petit figure. I understand it is probably custom for partners to be seen together at events such as this and I smirk at the thought of breaking that partnership so the Peeta will become mine. I am still convinced that I will win against the Delly. She may be strong for such a small person but I will always be stronger.

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. I know that the animal means of gaining a partner will not work here in London. If I had thought that it did, I would have already jumped on the Delly and ripped her throat out with my bare hands. The simple fact that the Peeta does not have fighting hands makes me believe that if I killed the female he is betrothed to, he would not wish to become my partner. It doesn't work the way it does in the jungle. I will have to think of different means.

I am confident that the Peeta will provide me with strong offspring. I do not know much about how to be able to tell this. Usually a male would judge a female's fertility by how wide her hips are. Since I am the dominant species, however, I am not completely versed on how to be able to know from a female's perspective. I have-on many occasions-craned my head around when the Peeta isn't looking to try and suss it out by the looks of his rump alone. It's difficult, I must say, but I am sure I'm correct. I usually am. Besides, it's a nice rump. A really, really nice rump.

The Peeta eventually manages to prise himself off of the Delly's arm and come see me. He's dressed handsomely in a white shirt with a black waistcoat; jacket and slacks. In my opinion, he looks better than anyone else in the room. "How are you doing?" he asks me.

"Alright. It's kinda crowded in here," I sign.

"Yeah, Delly knows half of London," the Peeta chuckles, looking around at the people crowding his home. "She must invite them all whenever she hosts a ball so that she doesn't earn a bad name from any of them."

"Does the opinions of others really matter so much to her?" I ask.

"You'd be surprised how many people care about the opinions of others," says the Peeta. "It seems that all anyone seems to worry about is status."

I roll my eyes. "Tell me about it. There really isn't that much difference between the jungle and London. In some aspects anyway."

The Peeta nods his agreement. "Everywhere is a jungle, in some way or another. We even have lions who hunt their prey."

"You mean the Delly?" I ask. This makes the Peeta laugh but I am disappointed when he doesn't answer me. He must have thought I was joking.

The Peeta introduces me to a tall male with dark hair, who is apparently a close friend of his. "Kat, this is Gale," he tells me.

My eyes brighten and I can't help smiling. I turn to Peeta and sign, "I knew a monkey named Gale!" the Peeta laughs and tells this to the Gale. It is no secret where I came from. The Peeta asked me if I wanted to keep it private that I was from the jungle but I told him no. Why should I want that? I am not disgraced about my heritage. There is no reason to wish to hide it from anyone.

The Peeta and the Gale talk to each other and the Peeta relays anything I say to the Gale. I don't say much, however, because I am distracted. I can't help wondering why-if the Gale outweighs the Peeta in height; muscle mass; and weight-why I am not reconsidering my decision to partner and mate with the Peeta. In the jungle you choose the best of the best. Surely, this would make me want to go for the male who is larger and stronger?

I look at the Gale's hands. They are rough and have scars. The Peeta's are smooth with some chafes here and there. Fighter's hands versus lover's hands. I prefer the lover's. If I try to dominant the Gale to show I am the stronger side of the partnership, I can easily visualize him throwing me off of him and having his way with me the way the males in the jungle do. The Peeta will not. I know this for certain. He is a lover, not a fighter, and he is the one I feel I will always want. Which makes me all the more determined to win him over.

After the ball, when everyone has cleared out, I find myself wandering the halls in my nightdress. My mind is alive with questions. When will I go back to the jungle? Do I want to go back to the jungle? How will I break the partner of the Peeta and the Delly? How will I convince the Peeta to mate with me? I know how the animals mate. The male bends the female over. I can't do that. I don't have the assets to do that. Is this a test? Is that why everything is so complicated? Am I being tested?

I reach the end of one of the hallways and that's when I hear the yelling. It is muffled but clear. I know exactly where it is coming from as there are only two more people in this shelter besides myself. What could they be yelling so angrily at each other about? Curiosity getting the better of me, I follow the voices to the door of their bedroom and press my ear against it. I know the Madge told me to beware what I listen in on but I can't help it. I must know what has gotten them to shout at each other so vehemently.

"You left me standing there looking like an idiot!" the Delly screams.

"Delly, Kat was standing on her own. She didn't look comfortable. I just wanted to see if she was alright," the Peeta replies. His voice is raised but he sounds much more measured. More calm and in control.

"Now everyone is going to think you don't want to be around me!" the Delly rants.

"I doubt they're going to make that conclusion," the Peeta responds. "I left you for, what? Twenty minutes. They're going to think that you can't handle me not being around you rather than think that I don't want to be around you."

"I should get a leash for you and be done with it," the Delly mutters.

"So, what? People can start rumours that you're now parading your husband around as a pet instead of a person?" the Peeta challenges. "Who are these 'people' anyway? I hardly recognize anyone you invite to these balls anymore."

"That's because they're my balls!" the Delly fires back.

"And I'm sure it'd be such a sin to invite a few people that I know," the Peeta says. "At least my friends wouldn't spread rumours the way you always worry yours will."

The Delly scoffs. "I let you invite Gale."

"Only because you used to fancy him in school," the Peeta says. I notice that the Delly doesn't even try to deny this. She just scoffs again. "All I'm asking is that you let me invite somebody that I know other that those you 'approve' of. Maybe even just my brothers. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to come down from Scotland to visit."

"Peeta, you know that you owe me," the Delly says, her voice low and threatening. "You owe me for the things you can't give me. I should be allowed to invite who I want and trust you to stand by my side for the entirety of it. You owe me at least that much!"

There's a pause. I wait with baited breath. Why does he owe her? What can't he give her?

"If you loved me, you wouldn't hold such things against me," the Peeta says quietly.

The Delly laughs. It's almost hysteric. It stops as quickly as it started. "If you loved me, you would be able to give me children," she hisses. What did she just say? I suddenly wish to rewind time so I can hear that last statement again. What does she mean can't give her . . . Does he choose not to give her children? The thought makes my heat flip a little. I press my ear closer to listen for the Peeta's response.

"I would give you as many children as you wanted if I could," the Peeta replies.

"Sure," the Delly says sarcastically. "I'm sure you would. But you can't, can you? What exactly are you good for other than drawing pictures and baking the odd cupcake?"

"I understand that you're angry Delly but"-

"Angry? I'm livid!" the Delly yells. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone!" Her shoes click against the floor and suddenly the barrier I am leaning my weight against disappears. I fall to my knees with a yelp, my hands snapping out to stop myself from smacking the floor. The Delly walks over my like I'm not even there. "I'm going to Leevy's," she says once she's outside the room. "And I want her gone by the time I come back."

She marches away without another word. She slams the front door so hard I wonder if the frame will split due to the force. I glance up at the Peeta, still on the floor. He stands by the canopy support for their bed. Waistcoat unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up, hair kind of ruffled. He rubs his hand over his face and thumps the support with his fist.

"Peeta?" I sign. It's a struggle to stand up and I trip multiple times when my feet catch on the skirt of my nightdress. "What did she mean you can't give her children?" I'm not sure why I'm signing because he's not looking at me. He's propped his arm against the support and has his forehead pressed against it. Eyes closed, jaw clenched in anger.

I stumble to my feet and approach with caution. I feel like I'm back in the jungle, immersed in trees, hidden from plain sight, tracking a lion with a sharp pointed stick because it's stalking Kala's children. I reach out and touch the Peeta's shoulder. He flinches but doesn't shrug me away. I don't know what to do because I can't speak to him. I dig my fingers into his shoulder and the action is enough to make him lift his head and look at me.

His eyes are ringed with red, like he wants to cry but can't. The blue has been dulled. Dulled by the Delly's harsh words. I lift my hand off of him to sign, "What did she mean you can't give her children?" I want to be delicate but it's difficult. I don't have a voice to soften and hope my eyes can convert the gentleness I wish to communicate.

"It's nothing," the Peeta replies.

"It doesn't seem like nothing. The Delly seems to care a lot about it. Do you not wish to reproduce with her?"

The Peeta shakes his head. "I would give her everything she wants if I could," he says, his voice almost pleading with me to understand.

"Why can't you? Don't you love her?"

The Peeta looks away from me, which makes me think that I'm maybe right. "It's our duty to our families to marry and have kids. Keep our name strong. Delly doesn't love me, she hasn't for a long time. My feelings towards her are . . . complicated."

"Why doesn't she love you?"

"Delly has dreamed of being a mother. Her own mother bought her expensive baby dolls and prams when we were children. She always wanted to have a real child to care for. Somehow people thought I would be the best person to provide her with this. They didn't know about . . ." He trails off, his blond eyebrows bending downwards to a frown. "Why am I telling you this?"

I cock my head and touch his face, turning his head back towards me. "Because I'm your friend," I tell him. "What didn't they know about?"

His eyes sparkle like a lagoon on a full moon. The apple in his throat bobs as he swallows his confusion and answers me. "Kat, I can't have children."

"Why not? Don't you know how?"

"It's not that"-

"I can help you. I have seen more animals mate in the jungle than clouds in the sky."

"Kat," the Peeta says firmly, "I'm infertile."

I blink in confusion. In-what? I have never heard of such a thing. I've heard of being fertile, everyone is fertile, but infertile? What did that mean? Did it mean that the Peeta could not produce offspring? Was that even possible? "Then why are you engaged to a female who desires babies?"

"We didn't know until after the arrangement. Delly . . . she didn't want the shame of admitting that we couldn't have children and she promised me she'd keep it quiet. I owe her so much for that."

The idea makes me mad. Owe Delly? For keeping a secret that wasn't even hers? "Leave her," I say. "She doesn't deserve you. Come with me! We'll . . . we'll figure something out." Why do I still want the Peeta? If he can't impregnate the Delly then he certainly won't be able to impregnate me! "You shouldn't marry her. You shouldn't settle for unhappiness."

The Peeta laughs hollowly. "If only it were that easy."

"It is!"

"Kat, I wish it was, but it's not. Life here . . . it isn't like the jungle. I have a duty to my family."

"Never mind your family! What about you?"

The Peeta smiles, as if what I'm trying to tell him is amusing. "It's lovely of you to show concern but I'm fine, really. Trust me, I can handle Delly. I have been handling her ever since we were children."

I roll my eyes. "Seems more like she's been smacking you around ever since you were children."

The smile on the Peeta's face fades. He narrows his eyes at me and steps away. "You don't understand anything about that. Delly can't control herself sometimes, she doesn't do it intentionally." Why does he always defend her? I want to scream in frustration! "Besides, she doesn't give anything I don't deserve. Sometimes I push to far."

I laugh, despite myself. "You don't push hard enough, trust me."

"Kat, you don't understand. You haven't been here since the beginning. I am not a good person. Anyone who can't provide their partner with children can't be a good person!"

"You obviously can't control it!"

The Peeta shakes his head. "I'm sure I could have done something."

"Argh, you're so frustrating!" On impulse and grab the front of his shirt and drag him towards the. Human instincts have poisoned me and before I can fully process what I'm doing I have slammed my mouth against his own. I don't know how to do this properly but I let myself trust my instincts-as they have never been wrong before. I expect an immediate reaction: the pushing of me away and the banishing of me from his home.

That doesn't happen.

Instead, when I reach up and touch his face with his hand, the Peeta touches my hip and pulls me closer. I am on my tiptoes but I push hard against him, so his back is against the support and my body can get closer to his. My free hand lies on his chest, my leg sliding up against his as the intensity of the contact grows. The carnal urge to be naked flushes through me; to be touched and to be free again. Without the restriction of these clothes. Not alone though. With him. Both of us, free together.

The Peeta breaks away from me with a gasp of surprise. He bangs his head off the support and grabs me by the shoulders, pushing me back so I'm at arm's length from him. I didn't want to stop and I am dissatisfied. I push against his hands, trying to return to his warm embrace. "We shouldn't have done that," he says breathlessly.

"But we did," I smirk.

"She's my wife!"

"She's a rat!"

I snap his hold of me with my arms, taking him by surprise. I lurch forward and grab his shoulders, the way he grabbed mine, pinning his body against the support. I speak with my eyes. "What are you afraid of? I know you want this, you wouldn't have returned the contact if you didn't. Are you afraid of me? Of the fact that I can give you what she can't?"

His eyes search mine frantically, taking in every word I say with an ease no other human possesses. "Kat, please," he said desperately, "I don't want to hurt anyone."

"You admitted yourself that you aren't in love! Let the Delly find someone she loves and let yourself be happy. You would be beyond happiness with me, I can promise that. I will not submit to primitive gender roles and I will look after you."

"Kat"-

I connect our mouths again. His lips are soft, like the petals of a tulip. He is more closed off than the first time. His mind is confusing him with logic. I push harder by tasting skin. Pressing my mouth against the side of his mouth; his cheek; his temple; his ear. Curious, I take the softer skin between my teeth and nibble, making the Peeta inhale and push me back again.

"Kat, you can't be doing this. It's not right."

"What if I want to be wrong?"

"No one want to be wrong."

"You're not happy!"

"Why do you care so much?!"

"Because you're the first human I ever met!" I exclaim. "And no human deserves to be unhappy. Nothing deserves to be unhappy . . . I can make you happy. Why don't you believe me?"

The Peeta holds my hands and squeezes them. "I do believe you, Kat. I just . . . Delly is my wife. We can't break it off, not now. It would bring shame to our families."

I narrow my eyes. "Aren't you attracted to me?"

The Peeta swallows hard. He stammers an answer. "I . . . I wouldn't say you're not . . . I mean you're very . . . It's not like I didn't notice it's just . . . you are . . . I mean, I can't say . . . you're not . . . You are very beautiful, t-that's what I mean."

I grin and try to kiss him again. He gently pushes me back. "This can't happen."

"I'm attracted to you," I sign. "I think you're a very appealing male. I've yet to meet another human I wish to mate with."

"Mate?!" The Peeta flushes bright pink at the idea. "Kat, I just said I can't"-

"Never mind offspring. I want companionship."

The Peeta's eyes soften. "Kat," he says delicately, "I don't know if I'm your man."

My hands slide up his chest and I smile warmly, "I think you are."

"Delly"-

"Isn't here."

"I can't"-

"You can."

"Kat"-

"Be quiet."

"I can't just"-

"Ssssh. Happiness."

I kiss him again.

A/N: I thought I should move the plot along :)

Please R&R!