The light was fading as he came to the fence that marked the edge of the property, pink-gold light slanting between fluffy stacks of clouds. A warm breeze blew drops of water from the apple trees overhead.
Final check, he thought as he patted the pockets of his coveralls.
Wire cutters. Check.
Cable ties. Check.
Secateurs. Check.
Plastic wrap. Check.
So far so good, smiled Waluigi as he vaulted the fence with a single stride.
The edge of the grounds was quite overgrown with a steep cut about five feet high from which the rest of the garden gently sloped back upwards to the Bros' house. This was useful as cover as Waluigi crouched behind the cut, slowly making his way along the fence, moving closer towards the house.
There! There is was! Right in the middle of the rose garden. His, no her prize, the coveted Beanish Rose. He could see the metallic golden sparkles from here in the setting sun. In plain sight of their lounge. Which was occupied.
Damn! Dammit! They were supposed to be at Peach's Castle! He took a sharp intake of breath. He'd assumed it would be at the Castle, the meeting with Wario, Mario, Luigi and Rosalina about the latest popular televised contest following the success of the Mario Party series. His knees still ached in cold weather from the last Mario Party series, but the looks of dismay on the other's faced when faced with game such as Heat Stroke and Chain Chomp Slide made it almost bearable.
Waluigi inched over the top of the cut, getting a glimpse of who was in the lounge. All he could see was Mario, Luigi and Peach. Mario and Luigi appeared to be tidying up ready for their other visitors. Peach looked like she was gaming, judging from the flickers of the TV.
Don't panic! You've come prepared. You're wearing the shirt and coveralls that you got bleach on and you've camoe'd up. It'll be dark soon and your down a hill. They're not even looking this way.
By now he was in a straight line between the roses and the french windows, which lead out onto the veranda. Waluigi slowly inched his way over the top of the cut. Just 'cause they're here doesn't mean it's a no-go!
He was most of the way out of the cut when Click! The door went. Luigi was heading out into the garden with what looked like a bucket. He was heading round to the back door. Waluigi strained his ears as he heard snatches of conversation.
"Luigi, why do you have to do that now?"
"-It's full, and it's the first rime it's stopped raining for long enough-"
"-Bro, don't assume that Wario's going to be late, although he's not going to break the habit of a lifetime -"
"-It's WAR! Their days are numbered-"
"Whoa! Just bin that knife, or put it in the toolshop-"
Luigi has a knife! He froze. No no no, he doesn't know I'm here. He's too much of a wuss to even think of such a thing OH NO HE'S COMING OVER HERE! He's got a wheelbarrow! NO ONE KNOWS I'M HERE!
Thin tendrils of mist came up from the wet ground. A brief squall of fat drops splattéed onto the ground, then stopped as if it thought better of it.
Waluigi slid back down the cut. He pulled off his cap and peered up. Luigi paused at the same time Waluigi slid back down. Luigi shrugged his shoulders and continued to push the wheelbarrow. Directly towards Waluigi's hiding place.
Waluigi lay flat on the wet, springy ground. How long was he going to stay down here? Moisture seeped through his trousers and sleeve. He heard snatches of curse words punctuated by crisp, turgid squelches.
Snick!
"-si merde!"
Squitch!
"-that was a foot long!"
Snick!
"-lumanche muoini!-
Squick!
Man, Luigi sure has a potty mouth. And a lot of rage. And a knife. Ulp.
Having busied himself with molluscular genocide, Luigi was almost on top of him. He could hear his footsteps, his breathing. Waluigi's breathing had stopped. Go away, there's nothing here. Not even slugs. Well, not many.
The next thing Waluigi felt was a warm, moist mound of organic material dumped on his reclining form. Compost. The wheelbarrow was full of compost. How is this going to get worse?! Well, at least it might be better camouflage. Or he might just look like a walking heap of compost, like Wario when he wakes up. Then he felt warm water trickle on his head. It had a familiar smell. Of course it can get worse, that's one of life's facts!
He heard Luigi whistle a tune, turn around and move the wheelbarrow away from the edge.
Damn. How much do you want a Beanish rose? He really hoped that what he'd eavesdropped between Peach and Rosalina was true. Also this was technically theft, but plants grow back, right?
Waluigi half-crawled half-slithered up the cut. Rosalina had arrived and Luigi had washed and dressed in clean clothes. Mario was pouring drinks. Wario was obvious in his absence-oh there's his car coming to a stop.
Sensing this opportunity, Waluigi combat crawled directly to the Beanish rose, selected a few blooms on the nearside. After some digging and compost removal, he found the secateurs and tied them up. Clasping them in his teeth, he crawled back to the cut. Once he was over the fence, he breathed a sigh of relief.
It was best that Rosalina was out as he wasn't in a state to be seen by anyone. But he had the roses! Now, you know that Rosalina's cottage is about an hour away if you run it. Just leave the roses on the doorstep, keep her guessing. He almost smiled, even as the heavens opened.
Waluigi gasped. He was feeling the cold now as the rain drenched him. The plastic wrap kept the worst of the rain of the roses and THEY weren't suffering. Damn. What if I get lost? Though the day had been warm, the rain was freezing and he was becoming disorientated.
Wait. This is Rosalina's house. She's left a light on.
Waluigi shambled up the path, roses in hand. Just put them down on the step and get back to your car...oh where is it?
Freezing, soaking wet and lost he paused. What in all of the Kingdom was he going to do now?
The click of the door latch jolted Waluigi's chilly brain into action. It was Rosalina, dressed in a navy blue night gown.
"Waluigi? What happened?!"
She looked at his mud spattered form where bits of compost still adhered. Then she took in the roses.
"Beanish Roses!" She beamed, but that flicked into a frown at a speed which would give lightning a shock.
"Where did you get them? I know of only one place they grow in this kingdom?"
"Uh uh...I..thought you'd like ...them? please?" He could barely get the words out.
Anger and pity fought for dominance on here face. It was a cold night and the rain wasn't letting up.
"Come in, you look half gone already! Stop! Take your clothes off in the porch! Not 'til I've shut the door! I'll bring towels!"
Waluigi complied in silence. He did note that she'd taken the roses.
He stripped off all his sodden, filthy clothes. He towelled himself off as best he could. Rosalina had provided him with a cotton jumpsuit of hers which fitted reasonably well, it a little short in the leg. He nervously opened the door.
"Well, this puts us in something of a quandery doesn't it Waluigi? I mean accepting your gift is accepting stolen goods?"
Waluigi looked crestfallen. The morale boost gained from getting warm and dry wore off in a flash.
"Uhhhh well I thought you'd like them. I uh I did offer them money, but the Bros said they weren't for sale. And no-one sells them. I uh.. I guess I wanted to show I wasn't such a huge jerk."
"Should be angry at you but I can't be. I am curious though. What where you doing to get so messed up? You really thought you where doing it for me?"
"Um yeah, but now you've said it it seems kinda dumb."
She looked him up and down. He seemed so sheepish in that he had put himself in such discomfort and danger to impress her?!
"Look Wah, you ought to have a bath. There's enough space on the floor, I'll bring some blankets for you. But if I ever get wind that you have trespassed or stolen anyone else's property, then you are dead to me. Also you'll have some time to think how your going to make make it up to Luigi as it his bush you've vandalised!"
Waluigi stared at his feet.
"Yeah. But thanks for taking me in. I was in trouble out there."
"Well, wouldn't you do the same on a night like this? Anyway, take your clothes into the utility room and put them in the washer."
Soon, Waluigi bedded down for the night in front of the fire. Perhaps it wasn't a complete disaster after all.