2008

8th Grade started and it's weird. I feel awkward in my own skin. I look in the mirror. I'm too tall, I grew five inches this summer, now I'm 5'10 and tower over pretty much everyone. Emmett says I should try out for basketball but I'll stick to the music room. I'm also pretty sure I'm too thin. I'm like the scarecrow in Wizard of Oz and I keep tripping over myself. School started before Bella and my birthday this year. We decided to keep it low key this year especially because it's on a school night. Also we both decided it won't be the same since Emmett is already back at college and as annoying as my brother can be he really is the life of the party. I sit down at lunch next to Bella. Her lunch is being ignored over a book. The Outsiders, which she read for summer reading and is already re-reading. She made birthday shopping for her easy this year though. A dvd of the Outsiders movie and a Robert Frost poetry book since she fell in love with his poem that is placed in the novel.

She looks at peace while she reads; though I can note the touch of sadness that seems to grace her face more then I would like to see. It's something I always try to keep away. She is not only my best friend but recently I have to admit I have been feeling something more. We did go out on the last night before summer break ended. My mom called it a date causing Bella to blush and me to run my hand through my hair. We went alone to the end of summer carnival. But I can't say I'm sure if it was a date or where that left us. Not that anything super romantic happened, though she did kiss my cheek in the photo booth which had never happened before. And we both have photo proof of it.

I sit down next to her which causes her to look up at me. "Hey Edward how was math?" I roll my eyes. Although I'm half good at math she knows I find it boring.

"How many times have you read that book?" I question even though I knew the answer.

"Counting when I read it too you?" She smiled. Even though I really should have read my own summer reading books and Bella even lectured me about it she still read it to me. "This will be my third time." I remember the hot night we sat in the lemon tree and she read me Johnny's death and began to cry. I was glad the only light we had was of her head light flashlight because I even had some tears escaping down my cheeks.

"How do you re-read the same book over and over?"

"How do you play the same songs over and over?"

"Touche."

"Sooo….I wanted to ask you something?" She nervously puts the book down and picks at her nails.

"What Bella?"

"Well I wanted to invite you to dinner at Nan's tonight."

I let a chuckle escape from my lips. Why would she be seem so nervous about that question. I have only had dinner with them half a million times. Though when she glances up to me her eyes look worried and I realized there is more too it. "What's wrong."

"Well Renee is having a guy come over to meet Nan and I. She said she "wants to make this work" whatever that means. I kinda would like to have you there for support. I already asked Nan and she said she is okay with it. So will you?"

I smile, "Of course."

We were sitting in Bella's Nan's living room laughing at an episode of the Simpson's when Renee came into the house with a man. "Mom, Bella," Renee called as she entered the living room. " Oh hello Edward I didn't expect you here."

"Hello Ms. Higgenbotham," I forced a smile. I didn't have much respect for Bella's mom growing up and as we got older and I saw the hurt she caused Bella I had less and less. Though I was raised to be polite so I was. "I was invited to join you guy for dinner tonight." She gave a slightly annoyed nod, but like me, forced a smile. Just then Bella's Nan came in.

"Mom, Bella I would like to introduce you to my boyfriend Phil Dewyer. Phil this is my Mother Marie, my daughter Isabella, and her little friend Edward." I took a look at Phil, he wasn't an overly tall man. Actually I stood a few inches taller then him being 5'10. Despite not being overly tall he had some muscle to him. He had dark hair slicked back and cold blue eyes. He shook Nan's hand and then mine before coming to Bella. As his hand lingered on her's I sensed she was uncomfortable and honestly how he looked at her I couldn't blame her. I wanted to put myself between him and her to keep even his eyes from touching her.

Dinner was awkward to say the least. We learned Phil was a minor league baseball player which would have been cool if he wasn't such a slimeball. I hated how nervous he made Bella and at one point I slipped my hand into her's under the table to provide some comfort. She smiled a small grateful smile with blush tinting her cheeks.

When dinner and dessert was over we all began to go our separate ways. Phil as it turned out took his own car so Renee could stay over for a while longer before meeting up with him later. While Nan and Renee went to the kitchen to clean, that left Bella and I by the front door. I had my bookbag and was ready to go but we lingered there in the entryway.

"Thank you for coming tonight Edward," Bella smiled. "For real I have no clue how it would have been if you weren't here."

"That's what I'm here for," I smiled back. "Are you staying at Nan's tonight." She nods. "Good I'll keep my walkie on then so just radio over if you need anything, Swan."

"Same goes for you for you Cullen," she giggles. "From the looks of it you still have some work to do on your summer reading book report."

Her sassy tone causes me to respond with a laugh as well. "Well have a good night Bella."

"You too." And with that I left and walked next door.

"So how was it?" My mom questioned as I found her with Alice in the kitchen. Dad was working the late shift at the hospital tonight. I shrugged causing her to raise her eyebrow wanting more of an explanation then that.

"His name is Phil and he's a minor league baseball player."

"Cool," Alice smiled. "What was he like?" My sister was a hopeless romantic. Always hoping people would find their one true love. She loves sappy love stories and movies. Sometimes she steals Bella so they can cry over The Titanic or The Notebook. I worry what those two plot sometimes. Alice is constantly telling me I need to marry Bella one day because she would make the best sister in law ever.

"He was I don't know kinda weird." I mutter it. I'm worried that I may get in trouble for being rude or something.

"How so?" My mother questions not at all angry with my less than kind words.

"He just felt off. I can't really explain it." And I couldn't exactly.

My mother sighed. "I will say, and don't you kids repeat this, but I will say Renee has never had a good taste in men." My mother had known Renee and Nan for a long time. They had been neighbors ever since my parents about the house. Due to this my mom knew Renee when she was only a teenager.

"What about Bella's dad," Alice asked. Now that was a subject I rarely touched with Bella. She only knew his last name was Swan since she too had that last name. It was safe to assume he had or has brown hair and brown eyes since Bella has those features as well but other then that she knew nothing. Renee would never talk about him.

"I never met him," my mom said. We all talked a little while longer before I went and took a shower and retreated to my room.

I made sure to turn my Walkie on before I started on my book report. Thank god for microsoft word and spell check because if I had to hand write this well I'm not sure it would even resemble a book report on The Outsiders. Still I knew I would still need Bella to proofread it before it was handed in. Ah the joys of dyslexia. Finally after an hour of working on it I lost focus and crawled into bed. I stared up at my ceiling that held glow in the dark stars on it which Bella and I had hung together a few years back. It took the both of us to move my dresser around the room so we were able to reach high enough to reach the ceiling. My mom was pissed when she found out how we did it but my dad took one look and stated he was impressed since we actually hung them forming real constellations.

Just as I was about to drift off I heard the static of my Walkie click on. "Edward…" her voice was a whisper. Clearly she was trying not to get caught. "Cullen, do you copy, over."

I fumbled in the dark to get a hold of the Walkie but managed to press the little button. "I copy loud and clear Swan, over." I always joked and made her talk with me on them with proper walkie talkie etiquette. There was a pause. One so long that I began to worry. "Bella.." I whispered back forgetting to properly talk on the walkie.

"Can I come over?" Her voice sounded so broken that I bolted up out of bed and made my way to the window. I opened it up to find her already out of her own. I had to admit in moments like these I was glad we both lived in one floor homes. She slowly closed her window and made her way across her side yard towards me. When she got to the lemon tree half way her hand found its place over our names in the bark before she continued over. The moonlight glowed against her causing her pale skin to look pure white in contrast to her long brown hair looking so dark. Even in her silly spongebob pj shorts and matching tank top she looked beautiful. I helped her through my window before shutting it behind her.

I turned to find myself shocked by the state of my best friend. Her big brown eyes that were normally so warm were watery with tears, some of which had already escaped down her cheeks. Her cheeks red not from her signature blush but from her obvious crying as well. Her lip was captured between her teeth and her chin quivered slightly. I had seen her sad before, I had seen her cry before, but I had never seen Bella Swan in this state of clear destress before.

"Bella?" I questioned a little worried that a sudden movement could send her over the edge. She said nothing but instead flung herself into my arms. Even though at 5'2 she was clearly shorter than me she still managed to take me by surprise and cause me to fall into my bed. Thankfully the noise wasn't loud enough to alert anyone in my family that I had a visitor in my room.

I held her as she silently cried into my t shirt for a while. I eventually moved us so we were both laying on my bed. Finally her body stopped shaking and she brought her gaze up to my face. I gently wiped tears off her cheeks. "Bella talk to me," I murmur.

"They are fighting."

"Your Nan and Renee?" She nods. "About what?"

"I don't know they went down in the basement. I only know that are fighting because every now and then their voices carry but nothing I can really make out. I can only assume it's about me and or Phil." She explains. "Edward...I'm scared. Something is going to happen. I don't know what but I can feel it."

"What would happen? They've fought before and nothing has happened. It will be fine." I pull her closer to me as I say this hoping, praying I am right.

"What if it's not?"

I lean my head towards her's so our foreheads are touching. It's weird in the best way possible and for a moment the only thing on my mind is how close her lips are to mine. "If I'm wrong we will get through it together, like we always do."

"What if you aren't there to get me through this?" Her voice is barely a whisper. I see the fear in her eyes and I hope that emotion doesn't mirror in mine as well. I need to be brave for her despite her worries scaring me as well.

"Where else would I be? You're my best and only friend, Swan, you can't get rid of me that easy." With my words a small smile forms on her lips and she closes the space between us. I feel weightless kissing Bella. Her lips are warm and soft, like how I had recently been imagining them like. We break away panting a little and just stare in each other's eyes.

"Hold me Edward," she whispers and my only response is to nod.

I wake in the morning to find she is gone. For a moment I feel panic but I realize she must have snuck off in the middle of the night at some point so we wouldn't get caught. Still part of me wishes I would have woken up with her still in my bed. I get dressed in a fog and eat breakfast in a fog as well. I replay the night over and over again. Sure it wasn't the first time we snuck into each other's rooms at night but in the past we did it to continue a board game or to read comics or maybe even the occasional taking through a nightmare. We had never laid in my bed or kissed or even fallen asleep.

Mom drives Alice and I to school. Alice keeps looking at me funny like I have something in my teeth or maybe it's just the stupid look I clearly have on my face or maybe she knows. My sister seemed to have a strange way of knowing things. But soon enough we part ways to go to our classes so I push it aside.

First block english I share with Bella. I wait and wait. I did get here early but after a while I start to worry she never cuts it so close to the bell. Then the bell rings, the teacher comes in, and class starts. She never enters the room.

The whole day goes like this; me waiting for Bella to appear but she never does. By the end of the day as Alice and I wait for our mom I'm so on edge it's obvious. "What's your problem," Alice questions.

"Bella wasn't in school today." I mutter as my hand finds its place in my hair.

"So," Alice raises an eyebrow. "Maybe she's sick...maybe it's her time of the month." I cringe at the thought of it being Bella's "time of the month". Like many of our firsts I was there on her first period. When she let out a scream in my bathroom. As it turns out no one had told her about periods yet. Thankfully Emmett was home with us and found our mom's pads. Other than that and him telling her it's a natural thing I was the one who helped her try to figure out how pads worked before letting her do her business. My mom found a whole bunch of wasted pads that day.

I nod in agreement for Alice's sake but I know in my gut something is wrong. Bella knew it last night and now it seems soon it will be public knowledge. When mom pulls up and we get in the car I know something is seriously wrong. She asks us like normal about our day but her heart isn't really in it. When I say Bella wasn't at school a little sob escapes her mouth. Alice glances over to me wide eyed and my stomach drops.

Things only got worse when we walked into our house to find my dad home from work early and Bella's Nan sitting on the sofa with him. My mom went over and sat next to Nan. "What's going on?" Alice questioned taking the words from my mouth.

"We need to talk to you both about Bella," my father starts. "Her mom took her…."

"What do you mean took her?" I interrupt. The words come out of my mouth shaky and a little too loud. "She can't just take her. Why aren't we calling the cops?"

"Edward," My mother speaks trying to sound soothing but I can tell she too is clearly upset. "She's with her mother. They moved. There is nothing for us to tell the cops."

"Bella knew this was going to happen." I feel dizzy. My knees feel weak. My brain feels funny. And there is a ringing that has started in my ears but I continue to talk. "She was scared and she was crying. She said you and Renee were fighting." I look to Nan and she gives me a tear filled nod. "Why didn't you let her stay. She's suppose to stay here with us...with me. Our birthday's are tomorrow. We need to get her back. She...I…" I feel my body fall. I hear Alice let out a cry. I hear my mom tell my dad to catch me. I feel my dad's hands just manage to keep me from feeling any physical pain. The ringing in my ears now sounds like a waterfall. It's almost deafening. I'm in a ball my hands over my ears. I only manage to catch bits of conversation.

"Carlisle what's wrong with him," my mom sobs.

"It's a panic attack," my father replies sounding more like a doctor.

"Will he be okay," Alice whispers.

"Come on dear let's give him some space and make some tea," Nan's voice is the last I hear before the world goes dark.

The next day I stay in bed. I've never had a birthday without Bella. Nor would I start now. Emmett called me for a little while between his classes. Mom had filled him in about Bella. He was clearly upset, Bella was like a 2nd little sister to him. Still he tried to cheer me up but his heart wasn't completely into it and neither was mine.

My mom tried to get me to come down stairs but I refused. I did eat a little toast to make her happy though. The only times I left my bed was to use the bathroom. Other than that I lay on my bed staring at the stars on my ceiling. At one point I rolled over to find something poking my hip. I flung up my covers to find a little silver earring shaped like a book. I know the earring all too well since one it is the only pair Bella ever wears and two I had been the one to give them to her last Christmas. It must have fallen out of her ear the other night. As I held the piece of evidence tying her to my room, and remembered that two nights ago wasn't a dream, I began to cry.

Later that night my mom tried to get me to open my gifts. I refused. If Bella wasn't right beside me opening her's mine too would go untouched. I was standing pretty firm on the issue until she admitted one was a phone and I needed to open that one since her and my father were paying for the phone plan. So I caved much to my utter dismay. The other gifts though sat next to my two gifts for Bella untouched on my desk.