I've wanted to put this story out for a long time and I finally did. Eep. Yay for courage?

Hope you guys like it.

Disclaimer - Twilight = not mine. This story, however, is very much mine.

I love thee, I love but thee

With a love that shall not die

Till the sun grows cold

Till the stars grow old

It's unseasonably cold this year. I'm walking home like I do every day and the air has frosty chill to it, making my breath fog up. A shiver runs down my spine as I scurry to the entrance of my apartment building, craving the familiar noise the heater makes as it wheezes out hot air.

I let myself in my apartment with a quiet sigh, chucking my coat away on the couch and plopping down beside it.

James, my asshole of a boss, was not making it easy for me today at the office. I'm his assistant and yet I seem to be the one his job for him.

I grit my teeth just thinking about it.

Hold on for that promotion, Bella. Just hold on.

I'm twisting my neck side to side, kneading out the tension from my shoulders when my phone starts to blare its ringtone.

I reach for my purse and pull out my phone. The caller I.D informs me that it's Rosalie.

"Rose," I greet, a small smile pulling at my lips.

"Bella! Ohmygosh, Ohmygosh, you will not believe what just happened!" she exclaims. I pull the phone away from my ear at the sudden noise before placing the phone on my ear once again to answer.

I sit up straight, my eyebrows raised in silent amusement.

"What happened? Am I mistaken or did I just hear the Rosalie Lillian Wellington yell 'ohmygosh' like a cheerleader that just got asked to the prom by the quarterback?"

There's muffled chatter over the phone and Rosalie's attention is momentarily diverted.

"…yes? You wanna what, honey? Oh…alright then. Okay, okay. You call Jasper. Don't forget Kate and Garrett. I'll call the others. Mm-hm…"

I hear some lip smacking over the phone and I cringe.

"Oh my goodness, Rose, can you not make-out when you're on the phone?" I exclaim, disgusted.

She laughs, her attention on me again.

"Okay, Bella, I need you to meet us at the Italian restaurant down your street."

I frown. "Rose, what's up?"

"Bella, just get your ass down here. Edward and I have exciting news!"

My stomach clenches.

"Edward's there?"

She laughs her musical laughter. I can almost imagine her throwing her head back and her soft blonde curls falling over with her laughter.

"Ofcourse, silly. Who else would I be kissing?"

My stomach drops even further.

"Right," I say softly. "What's the news?" I ask and this time my voice is steadier.

There's more chatter and Rosalie's attention is diverted once more. This time I can hear the rough undertones of Edward's familiar voice.

"Jasper's not picking up, babe…but Kate and Garrett say they'll meet us in 30 minutes," he says. His voice sounds far away and muted.

Rosalie groans. "Ugh, I can imagine why Jasper isn't picking up. He's probably humping Alice as we speak. I swear, they're like fucking rabbits. 'Kay, I'll call him and see if he picks up."

I can hear Edward's laughter floating through the phone and my shoulders slump at the smooth masculine sound.

Rosalie turns back to me and says, "Bella, just come down and we'll tell you. We want the gang together."

I'm already grabbing my purse and making my way out the apartment.

"Gimme a hint?" I ask with a miniscule smile.

"Mm-mm, nope, no hints. Just come down, Bella. Look, I'll even invite Jacob. Happy? Jacob will be invited." She spits out Jacob's name in disgust as if she was talking about dead fish.

I just let out a chuckle and shake my head.

Only Rose would hate the most likable person on the planet.

"I'm on my way."

Rosalie laughs. "I knew mentioning Jacob would get you here. 'Kay, see you in 15?"

"See you," I say in answer.

I end the call and will myself not to think about Edward.

I get there the same time Jasper and Alice get there. Alice sees me and proceeds to run into my arms and squeeze the life out of me like it's been decades since she last saw even though we talked this morning.

"Do you know why we're here?" Alice asks, tucking a lock of her short jet-black hair behind her ears.

I nod to Jasper, acknowledging his presence by smiling warmly before replying, "Beats me, Alice."

"May I dare say Rosalie even sounded...excited?"

I let out one short laugh. "Very uncharacteristically excited," I agree. "It was weird to not hear her usual pessimism."

Alice pushes open the restaurant door and Jasper and I follow her.

The restaurant is crowded. Not surprising, because the restaurant was quite well known in town and was one of the hot spots.

The guy at the front shows us our table when we mention the name 'Edward Masen'. The table is one of the private booths in the restaurant and Alice glances over her shoulder to look at me, raising an eyebrow to convey how impressed she is. My eyebrows are raised as well, because the restaurant's booths were almost always reserved.

As the dimmed booth comes into full view, I see Rose with her legs crossed in her Gucci grey jumpsuit with the plunging neckline. Her long bob is styled to perfection and her grey eyes are lined with eyeliner.

And I see Edward.

The minute smile on my face falls when I see him kissing Rose's cheek with a wide grin on his face.

My hands turn clammy and fight hard the urge to clench them into fists. Instead I hold on to the handle of my purse tighter until my knuckles turn white.

Rosalie notices us and her eyes light up in recognition as she exclaims our names. She stands up and leans in for a hug and I wrap my arms around in a tight embrace.

"Hey, Rose," I greet her, my voice soft. I pull back from the hug and offer her a shaky smile. She doesn't seem to notice when she smiles back at me before hugging Alice and Jasper.

"Sit, sit," she says, waving her hand to the cushions, gesturing us to take a seat. "Kate and Garrett are already here. Kate was feeling sick, so she's in the washroom right now. Garrett's outside the restroom waiting for her." She points a finger towards the direction of the washroom.

Alice hums sympathetically. "Is it the pregnancy?"

Rose nods. "She smelt some of the food and immediately felt sick."

I shrug off my purse.

"Should I go check on her or…" I trail off.

"Garrett said she'd be fine. He's taking care of her right now," Edward pipes up.

I meet his eyes, his emerald eyes and he beams at me. It's that crooked smile that he seems to save for me that's on his face making my heart flutter.

I stomp out the butterflies in my heart and stomach and answer his smile with a small grin of my own.

"Hi, Bella."

"Hi, Edward," I say, my voice low. His grin grows just a fraction wider when I greet him and he nods.

We're still looking at each other when the moment is broken with Alice's words.

"What's the big news?"

Rosalie and Edward exchange a glance and I look away. I see Kate and Garrett approach the table and I wave at them. Garrett returns my wave while Kate smiles in recognition.

"Hey Bella! Alice, Jasper," Kate says looking at each of us.

"You okay?" I ask when she slides into the booth with Garrett.

"Yeah, I'm fine. The smell of garlic wafted towards me and...ugh," she says in explanation, grimacing slightly.

"So what were you guys talking about?" Garrett questions, looking at us while resting his arms around Kate.

"What were you guys talking about?" Jacob repeats. All heads snap up to him and he grins. "Hey guys."

He slides right next to me, scooting in closer. I say hi before turning my attention back to Rose.

Rosalie and Edward look at each other again.

"Well, now that everyone's here…" she trails off, nudging Edward's side with her elbow.

"We have some great news," Edward says, grinning lazily down at Rose. "We're getting married."

And my world plunges into darkness.

For that split-second, I can't hide my heartbroken expression. My insides feel like they're being torn apart in different directions. Alice's eyes momentarily flash towards mine before cheering like the rest of them. My eyes well up with tears, tears I've been holding back for years now. Tears of desolation and anguish pierce me and fall down my cheeks.

Rosalie glances at me and looks taken aback at my tears.

"..Bella?" she murmurs quietly. She looks at me, perplexed. I force the corners of my mouth to go as wide as I can and I wrap my arms around her middle. I squeeze tightly, burying my face in her shoulder.

Rosalie's my best friend. She has been for as long as I can remember. I met her at middle school and our friendship's never wavered through the years.

My dear friend.

And she's getting married.

I pull away and look at her. Her face is expectant. Her eyes shift over my face, studying each tear with a questioning gaze.

"I'm happy for you," I choke out through my tears. It wasn't a lie. I was happy for her. And him. But my relationship with Rose didn't stop me from completely falling in love with him.

I realize why I'm crying. I'm mourning the loss of an unrequited love that never had a chance to breathe.

But I'm happy for her. I should be. Happy for my best friend.

"So happy," I repeat out loud in a hushed tone.

The crease between her eyebrows eases at my words and she blinks at my sincerity, flashing me a radiant smile.

She pulls me back into a loose hug and whispers in my ear, "Thank you."

I nod into her neck.

"I love you, Bells."

"Love you too, Rose. Congratulations on the engagement."

I'm in the washroom of the restaurant, scrubbing away at the mascara stain caused by my emotional sobbing when the door swings open, revealing Alice walking in, eyeing me expressionlessly.

She stands next to my sink, leaning casually against the soap dispenser. I'm running my hands under the water when I look up at her questioningly.

"Alice? Is there something you want or are you here to just to rub your shoulder against the soap thing?"

"Bella?"

"Yes, Alice?" I ask sweetly.

"How long have you had 'feelings' for Edward?"

I freeze and look away. The teasing smile drops from my face and I shut off the tap. I look up at her once more.

"What do you mean?"

She sighs, crossing her arms and leaning away from her choice of support.

"Let's not play this game. Where you pretend you don't know what I'm talking about and I try to yank the truth out of you…" She trails off, gesturing between us.

My voice turns frosty. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She sighs again, uncrossing her arms.

"..Or we can play this game."

I push past her and tug at the paper towel dispenser and scrub my hands until they're dry.

Alice scoffs bitterly. "I just don't understand how women can do that. Have an affair with their friend's boyfriend and not even have the decency to be ashamed when they are caught red-handed," she snaps, throwing her hands up. "I expected more out of you, Bella. I didn't think that you were that kind of person. Or Edward, for that matter. But clearly, I'm not a great judge of character."

Her voice is raised and she's gesturing wildly.

"What do you mean 'affair'?" I exclaim, frowning.

"Oh please, like I don't see how you two look at each other!" She snaps at me.

"What in the hell are you talking about Alice?" I'm yelling now as well.

She blinks several times.

"…You two aren't sleeping together?"

She says the words slowly, as if she herself only now slowly comprehends my reaction.

"Who? Me and Edward?" I ask, incredulous. "No! Whatever gave you that idea?"

She looks completely surprised and thrown off-guard. Alice lets out an exhale before bringing her hands to cover her lips in remorse.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Bella. You have to understand, I thought you were…and Edward…Oh my god, I'm sorry."

I shake my head, still reeling from her outburst.

"I accept your apology… but I still don't get what just happened."

Alice looks sheepish.

"I thought you guys were having an affair. I was wrong, obviously..." She lets out a small chuckle.

"Why would you think that?"

She shakes her head, looking away. "Oh, you know me..I read too much between the lines. The way you looked at him, then your tears…"

I tense up at her words and she notices.

She hesitates before asking me, "Bella, how long have you loved Edward?"

This time, her voice is tender and soft.

"Let's go, they're probably waiting for us…" I trail off in a weak attempt to change the subject.

The corner of her lips pulls up into a sad smirk.

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me—I already know." She walks to the door, before turning around and saying, "Speak now or forever hold your peace, Bella. Just remember that."

Before she can open the door, I stop her. "Wait!" I call out.

She turns to look at me over her shoulder.

"Not that I'm saying I'm in love with him because I'm not…," Alice shoots me a disbelieving look but I continue, "…but it's okay to tell him how I feel but not sleep with him? Alice, it's still cheating."

She exhales and looks away before meeting my gaze again.

"It'd be different if you were just sleeping with him. But love…love is different ballgame altogether. When it comes to love, you gotta do what you gotta do." She shrugs at the end.

I resist the urge to scoff.

"You make it sound easy."

"It isn't easy. Most things that are worth fighting for aren't."

And with that, she leaves the washroom with the door swishing after her.

There you go! The first chapter. (Sorry about any mistakes! Man, I tried. I really tried. Editing is some hard shit. Atleast for me.)

More to come. Much love! *blows kisses*

- Sherri