Disclaimer- I own jack shit and no I don't make money off this.

Author's note- This is the self insert challenge, the rules are simple you pick a fandom insert yourself and mess around with cannon. However, there are a few things, real names are a no I am not insulting you but some people do use their real names, next genderbend is allowed. The pairing can be whatever you want it to be, slash, het, yuri even a harem. See it is simple.

WANRING- This chapter contains mentions of sucide, if you dont like then skip a head.

Chapter 3- Learning is not just for children.

Being a parent means you see the best and worst moments of your children, from their first tooth to the first time they walk, even their first word. So many moments that can make any parent proud, but then you have to deal with the heartbreak, when your child gets their heart broken and you want to fix it but you know it is part of growing up. When they get hurt and you want to take away the pain, but you know you can't no matter how much you want to. When Enóti̱s got his first tooth Chaos had been proud, after days of teaching his son how to walk Chaos knew it would be a matter of time before he got it, Godly children learned a lot faster than mortal children. But like most children they made mistakes the first few times, when Enóti̱s fell and broke his nose, Chaos panicked at the Ichor that flowed from his child like a river. At first Chaos had thought that Order had attacked them, but then he stopped as he remembered that Order didn't know where they were. Or rather when they were at, they still lived in the void but a different time in the void.

Chaos picked up Enóti̱s and looked at the tears and he melted, a powerful creator he maybe but he was still a father. Several small hiccups from Enóti̱s and the Ichor dripping steadily onto the floor. Chaos healed him without a second thought.

It would not be the first time that Enóti̱s would hurt himself but it would certainly be the mildest thing that he had ever done.

Enóti̱s was a strange child, going from mortal to primordial was not something that he had counted on, but adapting is the way of life and he had known he had needed to adapt or die. In this sink and swim situation Enóti̱s had learned more than he ever thought he would learn, while he still couldn't grasp certain things he could understand and done most things. It still didn't matter Chaos was proud of him, and while Chaos would continue with his work Enóti̱s was right there beside him watching with intelligent eyes. Eyes far older than his body, Chaos often wondered if it was because he had been a mortal before he became a primordial.

Which often lead him to another train of thought, did Enóti̱s remember his past life? If he did then he gave no sign of it, to Chaos it didn't matter if he did or didn't Enóti̱s was still his child.

At the age of six Enóti̱s could read the most advanced things that Chaos had been able to get his hands on, and even though time held little to no meaning to him he didn't want Enóti̱s to suffer with his learning. So Chaos collected and kept collecting more and more books for his child to read, it didn't matter where they came from Enóti̱s would read them all. Chaos was worried though Enóti̱s had insufficient social skills and he often found himself dismayed over the fact that Enóti̱s might never make a friend, although it didn't seem to bother Enóti̱s all that much.

Chaos wondered that by living in the void he had taken away any chance for his son to have any friends, but when he saw him curled up with a book he found he couldn't say anything, so he kept his thoughts to himself. Chaos knew that his son would need to brush up on his social skills, even if he didn't want too.

When Enóti̱s was eight Chaos had tried to get him to make some friends, it had backfired. Chaos wasn't even sure how it had backfired either, he had taken Enóti̱s to Earth so he could meet some of the Titans and other Primordials Chaos had hoped with the similar ages between them, that Enóti̱s would connect with them. Chaos didn't know how cruel children could be until he had flashed to Earth to pick up his only child hitting Oceanus in the face, but that wasn't the only thing that had happened several of the other Titans were laid on the ground, Chaos quickly scanned them only to find they had been knocked unconscious. His son's temper was vicious and deadly, but Chaos didn't think his sweet and kind son could do something like this.

Ichor was splattered all over the ground and Chaos knew it wasn't from his son rather because of his son, even Gaea was not spared and Chaos belatedly realized she bore the most of the damage. Chaos pulled Enóti̱s off Oceanus and noticed Enóti̱s had crushed part of his face and Oceanus would need significant time to recover, even with nectar it wouldn't be able to heal all of it. Enóti̱s was snarling and his eyes were flashing so fast Chaos could not get a read as to what had set him off, without waiting or warning Chaos flashed the pair of them off earth and back to the void.

"What happened?"

Enóti̱s snarled and went to bite his own father Chaos growled and pinned him to the floor, Enóti̱s's neck was bare and they both knew that if Chaos chose to he could end his life. Enóti̱s calmed down, his eyes were no longer flashing as quickly as before but they still held the rage that Chaos was wary of. He had no training in his powers and could well end all life if he didn't get his temper under control.

"You love me don't you?"

Chaos was thrown completely off by the question, where was this coming from?

"You know I do, Enóti̱s where is this coming from?"

Enóti̱s gritted his teeth and Chaos heard a couple of them crack under the pressure, Chaos made a note to teach his son restraint.

"Gaea and Oceanus said some things and I didn't react well to them."

Anger Chaos knew what it was and he wanted to know what had been said but pushing Enóti̱s too quickly could cause him to keep his mouth shut, but he was still his father and he wanted to know who he had to punish. If they had done something to upset Enóti̱s then they had better know how to hide, if he caught them then there wouldn't be anything left of them. But that didn't mean he wouldn't punish Enóti̱s, his son needed to learn how to control his temper.

"Enóti̱s, whatever they said is not true."

Enóti̱s snorted and turned his head away, Chaos felt his son shaking underneath him and realized his son was crying. Chaos moved them out of the position they were in and pulled Enóti̱s onto his lap.

"Hush, I am here and not going to change little one."

Enóti̱s hiccuped a few times and the tears began to slow, Chaos was not stupid he knew that what had been said had planted doubts in his son. Chaos felt the darkness and knew he would have to watch his son, for what he didn't know but he knew that he had to watch him.

When Enóti̱s was sixteen he tried to take his own life, Chaos had seen something form inside his son but he didn't know what it was. Chaos had been engaged making sure that things were moving and flowing as they should, when he had got home he had found Enóti̱s in a pool of ichor, Chaos hadn't wasted any time in getting to his son only to realize he had slit his own throat. Chaos wished that he had prodded Enóti̱s into telling him what had happened that day when he was younger, but he hadn't wanted to push Enóti̱s away from him so he had kept quiet.

Now he was regretting it, if he had just pressed harder, if he had just got his son to open up then none of this would have happened. Chaos had healed Enóti̱s to the best of his abilities, he was a creator not a healer. Chaos held his son closer and knew he had to press, he had to prod no matter how much Enóti̱s hated him for it, he needed to know who he could kill for this.

It had taken four long years to find out what had been said, Enóti̱s had screamed, shouted and begged for him not to ask. But Chaos had fought on, he needed to know just what had been said, how could he heal his son if he didn't know what the damage was. The screaming had been bad, but the tears had nearly broke Chaos's will, he had wanted to say forget about it but he couldn't. How could he? His son was hurting and he needed to know what it was so he could fix it.

Time, time was something that he had plenty of.

But he wasn't sure if his son had the time, each day he could see the darkness inside his son grow. Time and time again he had managed to stop it, but he knew that when he wasn't looking his son would succeed. He knew that his son wanted to say that he hated him, but he also knew that it wasn't in his son's nature to do so.

"Tell me."

Chaos hoped that after everything that had happened he would be able to get through to his son, there was still much to do and he still had things to tell his son. But he knew if he told him now then it would push him over the edge.

"Did you know I was sterile?"

Chaos halted, he had no idea how Enóti̱s had found out. He shouldn't have found out, Chaos had been working on a ritual to fix the problem, he may not be able to sire a child but he would be able to conceive one.

"Yes, I knew since you were a baby. I was going to tell you and give you the chance for children, I put it off not because of your reaction but because of what happened when you were younger."

Enóti̱s flinched, he had not been an easy child to look after and he still wasn't easy to look after. His body was covered in scars, he got into accident after accident if there was a way for him to hurt himself then he would be able to find it.

"Rhea told me, Gaea called me an abnormal abomination. Oceanus? Well he just held me down, while Rhea and Gaea took turns in cutting me told me that if I was such an abomination then I should look the part. Is that why I have been so different? I know my body and there has always been something lacking."

Chaos swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat, was this how his baby felt? Why had he never said anything? Chaos felt hot rage surge through his body, it was not their place to say anything Chaos had half the mind to destroy them, but he knew that he shouldn't but that didn't mean that he couldn't punish them. But he was going to wait to do it, after all the longer he waited the more paranoid they got. Chaos stopped it also explained their behavior the past few years, they hadn't known that he didn't know. But now that he did it was going to change a few things.

Chaos wasted no time in grabbing hold of his son and crushing him to his chest.

"You are my son and nothing will change that. Not now not ever. I would see the entire universe burn if it meant keeping you safe from harm, you're not lacking anything you are different. The power and gifts you have are what most Titans and giants dream of, there is nothing wrong with you."

Enóti̱s cuddled closer to his father, these thoughts had plagued him for years and he never had the courage to speak about them and he knew that if his father had not pressed the issue as much as he had done then he never would of talked about it. Chaos placed a kiss on top of Enóti̱s's head.

"I love you for you, you are my son and that is all that matters."

Enóti̱s gave a sniffle and tried to hide the fact that he was crying, Chaos didn't say anything just held him tighter. After a minute or two Chaos looked down at Enóti̱s and noticed that his tears had stopped and his breathing was evening out, Chaos felt his lips twitch upwards. Crying always made Enóti̱s tired and while he was loath to wake his son up he needed an answer.

"Enóti̱s, if you could do a ritual that would allow you to conceive a child would you do it?"

Enóti̱s blinked several times trying to get the fog that had settled over his mind to go away, he knew that what is father was asking was important and he knew that he should give it his full attention.

"What do you mean?"

Chaos sighed and shook his head even though his lips were twitching upwards.

"You may not be able to sire a child but that doesn't mean that you can't conceive one."

Enóti̱s blinked several times before a smile began to form on his lips, Chaos watched as hope began to form in his eyes and he was happy that by telling him of this ritual that he had given his son a reason to keep fighting, but he didn't want his son to get his hopes to high.

"There will be a catch."

Enóti̱s snorted and looked up at his father, galaxy eyes and eyes that held the stars met. If any mortal had been in the room then they would have been vaporized at the power that was been given off by the two deities.

"Isn't there always?"

Chaos looked at his son, when had his son become so cynical?

"No mortal will be able to get you pregnant, only someone who has blood that has full ichor flowing through their veins will be able to do it. No demigod or demititan will be able to get your pregnant, only a God, Titan or Giant will be able to do so."

Enóti̱s tilted his head back and closed his eyes breaking off the eye contact that he had with his father.

"It is fair, but the chance of any of them finding me attractive is slim to none."

Chaos shook his head, but kept his thoughts to himself. His son had enough issues to deal with and he didn't want to add to them, Chaos knew that many would find his son attractive and that he wouldn't be able to keep them all away. But he would be able to keep some of them away, only those that were worthy would ever be able to go near his son.

"Come my son, we have things to do."

Chaos held his son's hand and guided him to the ritual room, it was time he gave his son something to fight for, something other than himself.

Twenty one, an age where most come into their own. But Enóti̱s had his powers for a full year and while he was glad that he had them they were irritating some days.

Loyalty.

Strength.

Unity.

Adoption.

Kindness.

More often than not he had a headache due to one of his powers and no matter what he did the headache wouldn't go away. Even if one person was disloyal Enóti̱s had the urge to kill them, he had quickly learned to get the urge under control. Every time a child was adopted he felt a surge of pride and happiness and a quietly whispered thank you. It was those moment that he lived for, even if he could help just one child feel the kindness and love that was family then he knew he was doing right by someone. But that didn't mean that everything was all sunshine and roses, there had been a few times when Chaos had to fight with his son to get his anger to a safe level. When he lost his temper people died, it had only happened a few times but each time it happened he had regretted it. It was because of this he had earned a new title.

Regret.

Normally he would take this in his stride, but getting another title thrown at him irritated him to no end.

"Why don't we just say I am the primordial of children!"

Chaos hadn't even thought that his son was being sarcastic and had agreed, Enóti̱s learned that his father couldn't take a joke or know what sarcasm was. Which was why he had began banging his head against his desk, if he had just kept his mouth shut then he wouldn't have yet another title, he had enough to deal with as it was. When he had to formally introduce himself it got him envious looks.

Enóti̱s primordial of Unity, Regret, Children, Strength, Loyalty, Adoption and Kindness.

Enóti̱s wanted to shift some of the titles onto someone else, his father's paperwork was enough to drive anyone to insanity that was without adding his own. But these were his responsibilities and he wasn't about to start throwing titles at other deities when they didn't deserve them, so with a heavy heart he kept the titles.

Time passed by and as each year slowly went Enóti̱s slowly got more and more comfortable in is job and titles, that didn't mean that he liked them. No he still detested them and wished he could throw them at someone else but, his father had always taught him your power your responsibility which sucked at the moment in time. Not that he wasn't grateful for his titles and powers but rather his father never did his paperwork.

Never.

When he had first learned that he had been horrified and tried to correct the situation, in the end he had gave up trying to correct it and just took over. His father had thought that it was a great learning experience, he thought it was torture as he was still doing it now after three thousand years later. But there was other important things he needed to do and he was not looking forward to telling his father.

"I am moving out."

Chaos stopped and gave his son such a wounded look that Enóti̱s felt his heart shatter, he had the feeling that someone had just killed a thousand puppies or kittens. Enóti̱s was more likely to go with kittens he loved the small little fur-balls.

"Why?"

This was the part that Enóti̱s hated and it was not going to get any better.

"I need some form of freedom, I love you father I really do and you have done the most wonderful and amazing job of raising me. But there is so much that I have not seen or done, I know you want to protect me but keeping me in this gilded cage is killing me."

Chaos sighed and looked, truly looked at his son. The dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he could now see the veins under his son's skin was a horrifying sight, he knew that this day would come he just never expected it to be now, Chaos thought that he would at least have a few more centuries with his son.

"I know and while I do not want you to go I also know that you need to."

Enóti̱s tilted his head to the side, his father looked like he had just signed his own death certificate.

"I will visit once a week, maybe on a Saturday and then I could stay over for the night."

Chaos felt his heart melt a little, even though he was leaving Enóti̱s was doing everything in his power to make sure that he would still visit him every week. Chaos wondered if all parent went through this or if it was just him. Chaos kissed Enóti̱s's cheek and gave him a smile.

"You are my son and should you need me I will come, now go."

Enóti̱s turned and looked at his father, a smile was on his lips as he turned and walked out the door once he was gone Chaos fell into his chair and covered his face with his hands. He should have seen this coming, but he had been so blind to it, the fact that Enóti̱s had allowed him to keep him caged for so long spoke volumes. Chaos touched his cheeks and pulled his hand back, his hand was wet and that was when he realised he was crying. When had been the last time he had cried?

Chaos began laughing because he knew if he didn't he would keep crying so he laughed until his sides hurt and kept laughing, until he wasn't laughing no more. Chaos rested his elbows on his knees and began sobbing, oh he knew that his son would leave the nest one day but he was no seeing just how much damage he had done. His son was not meant to be caged no matter how pretty a cage it was, Chaos cried for the damage that he had unintentionally done his son may have forgiven him but he would never forgive himself, how could he?

He had nearly killed his own son.

Chaos stood, no he was not going to continue throwing a pity party for himself. Enóti̱s knew that it was never on purpose and Chaos knew that to his son that was all that mattered, if his son could forgive him then he would have to have enough forgiveness for the both of them. Chaos turned on his heel and made his way to his office he had things he needed to plan and do, if his son was moving out then he needed to make sure that there were no loose ends.

It was time to set his son free.