"She actually updated after 2 weeks?! Whaaaat?"

I know. Try to contain your surprise. I like to be unpredictable.

Huge shout-out to SunflowerFran for editing this! This is so much better because of it. Thank you.

Aaaand, I see you guys adding. Thank you! Okay, let's get this show on the road. Enjoy!

Disclaimer - I'm not the creator of Twilight. gOD, how I wish I was though. I would drop outta school and just bathe in money. Make a rap video. You know, the basics.

Once again, the silence is curling around us. Its heaviness almost makes it seem like another person is in the room with us, making the atmosphere strained with our unspoken, unwieldy thoughts. I'm absentmindedly fiddling with my loose gray t-shirt that I changed into when I came home.

Full beer bottles sit in front of us on the coffee table. I had offered Ed something to drink and found us some beers, but we had yet to take a sip. I watch as the condensation on the outside of the bottle rolls down, and I think about the fact that I forgot coasters.

I should have brought out the coasters along with the beers. I knew it was a bad idea to just let the them sit. Now, it was going to leave that telltale white ring of a mark, letting the world know of my recklessness.

I sigh.

It's just damn wood, and somehow I've found a way to relate it to my pathetic life.

Jesus.

"What?"

I slowly look at Edward with a small smile.

"I forgot the coasters. Now, there'll be water stains." A tear rolls down my face. "It's stupid."

Ed's eyebrows arch. "You're still drunk, aren't you?" It's not a question as much as an accusation.

A laugh rips out of me. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."

Ed leans over and moves the beer bottle away from me. "It's nice to see that you're still the emotional drunk that you used to be. Maybe some OJ or water would be better." His attempt at teasing me falls flat when I refuse to laugh.

I rub my hands over my face. "You're probably right," I say, grabbing the beer, "but I'm not in an OJ kind of mood." I take a big gulp before placing it back down.

"You remember that time you cried when you couldn't find matching socks because you were so drunk?" He's still teasing me, trying to distract me from my sadness, but there's concern in his eyes. I ignore his concern.

"Shut up."

"Are you done stalling?"

"Was it really that obvious?" Maybe drinking impairs my acting skills. Ed doesn't say anything. He just leans back into my couch, staring at me with this almost unreadable expression on his face. I'd give an arm and a leg to see what he was actually thinking about. With Edward, sometimes you never really knew.

"Honestly, I have no idea why I even dated Riley again. It certainly wasn't because of his amazing personality, I'll tell you that much."

That earns me a soft chuckle. I look at Edward, and he doesn't say anything, and so, I continue. "Riley was safe. For me. You know?" Ed's confused look tells me that no, he doesn't know.

"I had a thing where…I didn't like being alone. From the moment I turned twelve, I've been in relationships. Silly ones when I was younger but not so silly when I grew up. I was just…never not single. Riley was a jerk, but he was safe. Being by myself was scary. It meant…It meant, my worst nightmare. Being my dad."

"Your dad isn't alone, Bells. He has you." I'm shaking my head before he can even finish that sentence.

"I'm not enough. I could see how lonely he was. I grew up with him. He was content but not really. There was this underlying sadness after Mom left and the thought that I could end up like that was terrifying. Still is. But I'm working on it."

"You are?"

I nod. "Being in a relationship with Riley wasn't easy. He was a cheater and cerebrally, I get that it had nothing to do with me but my self-esteem took a hit. I saw a therapist, and I've been single for the first time in my life. And it's been hard."

Mostly because I'd rather be with you, I think.

"Rose never told me you guys broke up. Granted, I didn't ask about you. Ever."

"Edward, Riley was never around, and I never talked about him. How could you think I was still dating him?"

He lets out a huge sigh, glancing up. "Riley was a jerk. It made sense to me that he wasn't around. Besides…I didn't like talking or thinking about the two of you together."

"Why?" It's a loaded question.

"Because it made me angry. You deserved someone so much better."

"Like you?" I ask with a bitter huff.

His eyes flash to me, and I can't read what's in them.

"I'm no good for you, Bells."

My jaw drops and my heart clenches painfully. I ignore his statement. "Why did you date Rose?"

"You basically set us up, Bells."

The shock on my face must have been apparent because he hesitates before he continues. "The day I met Rose…we were supposed to have lunch together. At the last minute, you told me Rose was coming too. We sat down, and Riley showed up out of nowhere. You left the table to talk to him and didn't come back until an hour later. Both Rose and I thought you were setting us up. It hit me that…maybe you never liked me the way I thought."

Holy shit.

"That is not what I was trying to do at all! It was supposed to be the two of us when Rose reminded me that we had already planned lunch; something I totally forgot about, so I just invited her to our lunch. I never knew Riley was going to show up. I hadn't been answering his calls or his messages. I spent the hour trying to tell him we weren't going anywhere."

"But you guys were still together."

"Yes, well. We tried a little longer but. I didn't officially end it with him until later."

"Jesus."

I understand what he's feeling. Maybe we could have avoided it all if we had just said what we were feeling. Constantly hiding behind our egos and our fake emotions seemed like a good plan until we ended up completely unhappy. If only we had done things differently. If only I had told him how enamored he had me the day I met him. If only he had told me that he liked me.

If, if, if.

Ifs don't help us. This mess of a situation was our reality. Thinking about what could have been would only drive us insane.

"What a sad pair we are." My words are a truthful whisper. I see in Ed's eyes that he agrees with me. He reaches over and puts his hand over mine.

"We can fix it, though. Together. This is our chance. We can be what we were supposed to be."

The lump in my throat grows exponentially. I turn my hand over and link our fingers together. A tear falls, and I can see it. How easy it would be to pull him towards my body and place my lips on his. How great it would feel when his soft fingers trailed up my torso. How easy it would be to fall over the edge, holding his hand. To forget the outside world.

My vision blurs with new tears, and I know.

"No. We can't."

I pull my hand away, and my heart drops to the depths of my stomach.

"Bella." It's an anguished whisper. I can hear what he's saying.

Don't do this.

Please.

"You just broke your engagement, Ed! You left your fiancé, and it's my fault! Don't you see that this is bad? We're not in good places in our lives. We can't do this. Us."

"It is not your fault. I did what I should have done years ago. Please, Bells."

"I think you should leave."

His breath hitches.

"Is this it then?"

"Leave, Edward."

"Fine."

A door slams.

And it's over.

Phew. Now that that's done, I'm gonna go back to listening to J. Cole's new album now. Deja Vu makes me cry. Yes, I might be the only person who cries over a hip-hop song. Leave me alone.

Oh! Someone asked me if this story was going to have an HEA. Well, if I told you the answer, the journey isn't as great, is it? All I will say is...have faith.

Lots of love,

- Sher