Hey loves!

Before we start, shoutout to one of the reviewers who was kind and told me that I'd made a lil' mistake in chap. 2, thank you, ellekat08!

Now, when I tried to fix it and repost it, there was a system error and the chapter was basically unreadable because it was all code. To anyone who recently added the story, I'm so sorry! Also, how tf did you read that? I'm seriously impressed. Cool shit. Also, I fixed it (again), and it should all be good now.

Huge thanks to SunflowerFran, who edited this! It's the little things but it makes such a difference, so thank you.

Okay, disclaimer - not mine, blah, blah blah... Enough with my rambling. Enjoyyyy.

Days pass, and they're filled with mindless routine. Wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, eat, sleep and repeat. My life becomes a cycle of mundane activities and unenthusiastic attempts at living. I push through my days, aiming to breeze through the everyday moments, knowing if I stopped and took a second to breathe...I would surely cry.

I haven't cried either. Maybe I'm all wept out, and my body can't spare any more tears.

Or maybe I'm numb.

I hope it's the former, but deep down, I know it's the latter.

I don't talk to anyone. Not really. Some people call occasionally, and I have a half-hearted conversation with them before continuing my tedious routine.

No one of importance calls.

Especially not him.

I get why he wouldn't. I kicked him out my house and basically told him we were doomed. It makes sense that he wouldn't call. I wouldn't call me if I were him.

Then why does it hurt so bad?

Every now and then, I pull up his contact on my phone and stare at his name in bold letters across my screen. I still remember the day he programmed it, stating that his name should be in all caps so that I knew he was important to me. As if I needed a reminder. His little contact picture is on, and he's staring unblinkingly back at me in that unnerving way that pictures do.

"What happened to missing me?" I think. "What happened to wanting to be around me more?"

But whatever.

Actually, not whatever, but I attempt to find that emotion in me. I try to fill myself up with indifference, that "whatever."

Some days I find it, and it strengthens me. It gives me a sturdy backbone, and then apathy settles comfortably on my veins.

Who cares if he doesn't call?

Fuck him.

Fuck him for thinking all would be okay just because I declared my love for him.

Fuck.

Him.

Other days, indifference fails me and I...I feel wrong. Those are the worst days.

No.

Who cares.

And most of all, I try really hard not to think about the fact that I do.

The collar of my jacket is turned up against the wind and today is the first day that I stray from my routine.

The café door jingles when I push through it, alerting the staff that another person has entered. The old woman at the counter just smiles at me in acknowledgment, and I nod back. I make my way past the various tables until Rose comes into view. She does a three-fingered wave, and I walk towards the table at which she is seated.

Rose and I had kept touch for the most part. She seemed to avoid talking about him, and that was just fine with me. He wasn't someone I wanted to hear about anyway.

Quit lying to yourself, Bella.

Although a small part of me is glad I'm not the only one who's suffering over him.

Shame fills me as the thought passes through my mind. What kind of friend wishes for her friend to suffer?

What kind of friend sabotages her friend's relationship?

A shitty one.

And that brings us here...to this café. God knows I'd rather be home, wallowing in self-pity like any heartbroken person. But instead, I'm here, trying my damnedest to make sure to be good friend for Rose. Because she deserves better. Better than a fiancé who would abandon her. Better than a friend who would ruin her relationship.

"Hey." She hugs my middle. I rest my face against her shoulder, and she smells the same. Lavender and that damn perfume she's always wearing.

"I missed you." Her voice cracks, and for the first time in a while, I want to cry. But my eyes stay dry, and I release myself from her hold with a smile I can barely uphold.

"How are you?" I take a seat after I remove my jacket and she does the same. She folds her arms over each other and sighs.

"Not great but okay. I'll be great. Someday. Soon."

"Okay. Sounds like a plan." I pat her hand.

"Yeah. Oh, I ordered for you already."

"Bitch." I'm joking, and she knows it. She smiles for the first time since I've seen her.

"Don't act like I don't know exactly what you want. It's why I'm so great at setting you up on blind dates."

"Okay. First of all, what if I had wanted something different today? Second, all the dates you've sent me on have been shit." She makes a scoffing sound at the last statement.

"Do you or do you not want green tea with two sugars?"

"Yes," I concede with a roll of my eyes. "I do."

"And wasn't Todd the best lay of your life?" She's smug.

"That's not saying much, considering I've always only had mediocre sex."

"Yeah, but I knew what you liked." She winks at me.

"You weirdo." I let out a genuine giggle for the first time in a week. I try not to let my shock be apparent, but it's such a surprise to me that I sigh in relief. I wasn't sure if I would have ever recovered. I felt broken. It was such a relief to know that I could laugh. I could live my life, even if it didn't involve him anymore.

I just wasn't sure if I wanted to.

The waiter comes by and places our drinks in front of us. I thank her and take a sip of my tea before again turning my attention towards Rose.

"So, Ro, how are you really?"

"I really am okay, B."

"You really don't look it." And she didn't. She had dark circles under the eyes and her usually well-styled hair was a mess.

"I think I'm coming down with a stomach flu or something. It'll pass, though."

"You gotta take care of yourself, R."

"You sound like Edward."

The sound of his name guts me. I suck in a shallow breath.

"Oh?" is the bright answer I can come up with.

"Yeah, he's always going around telling me that I shouldn't stress so much or work myself to death. Boy."

"Mmhmm."

The smile I have on seems fake; like a carefully crafted mask of both indifference and interest at the same time. Almost as if it's been placed on my suddenly sweaty face and tied tightly behind my head by my conscience. And it's only pulling tighter every time she said his name. My insides feel grimy, oily like they had been filled with engine fuel. Light me up if I ever have to think about him again.

Burn me to ashes.

God knows I didn't want to feel this horrible emotion for another second.

Guilt.

"Never thought I'd miss that. When he was around, it was always annoying. But now I wish there was a someone who cared, you know."

"Yeah."

Rosalie is oblivious to my monosyllabic answers, lost in her thoughts.

"I guess that's what I loved about him. The way he cared. He cared so damn much. Even about people who were shitty to him. He cared. He was this big, genuine thing." Rose finally loses her dazed look, focusing on me.

"Kind of like you."

I know. Short chapter. BUT, the next chapter is much, much longer, so I'll make up for it. This chapter was really just to give you an idea of her mindset and where she is emotionally right now. And you kinda wanna tell her to get back on the horse but, she's heartbroken and she'll get there. She'll be better because of it.

Also, this story has like approx. 4-7 chapters more to go. Just to let ya know where we are. Thanks for reading babes.

- Sherri