Chapter 11:

Hello, Friend

Reminder: This chapter contains wonderful, sweaty, amazing "Adult Content". If you are a youngin' or not comfortable with that then... look away!

Sam walked into the bar, the loud music deafening her when she exited the quietness of the street outside. Her skinny jeans and wedges made her look five inches taller than she actually was, gaining her attention from a lot of the college guys. It had been years since she'd been out in a setting like this, but she tried to keep her confidence. She straightened her dark blue blazer and flipped her wavy hair behind her shoulders before walking to the bar.

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked immediately, leaning over the counter toward her.

Sam looked around quickly, wondering if Josh was already there. She didn't see him, so asked for a Gin on the rocks as she waited.

"You here alone?" A young man asked, probably about 23 years old. He sat down in the stool in next to her.

'Wow, guys don't waste any time, do they?' She smiled politely at him as she grabbed her drink, "No, I'm waiting for someone."

"It's never nice to keep a lady waiting," he said in what was probably his best suave voice, but it only made Sam want to laugh.

She was grateful when she saw Josh walk in at that moment. He was in his blue jeans, but he left the hoodie behind and simply sported a nice fitting black shirt. Her heart skipped a beat when their eyes met, and she gave a quick finger wave. He smiled and quickly made his way over to her, and Sam stood up when he reached her.

He looked down her legs when she came up to his chin, "I see you grew a few inches."

She laughed, "You might lose me in the crowd otherwise."

He shook his head, "Nah, you stand out from every other girl in here."

She blushed at his compliment and sat down on a stool over from where she was, that way Josh could take her seat and be in between her and the other guy that was just staring at them. But Josh didn't even seem to notice and all of her attention was now on him as well.

"You clean up nice," She complimented in return, and she swore she was smiling so hard that she could hardly feel her face.

"Figured I might have some competition tonight, so I wanted to stand a fighting chance," he joked, telling the bartender that he would just have beer when he was asked.

Sam wanted to tell him that there was never any competition; he was and always will be the one and only. But she couldn't tell him that. Not yet anyway. She watched him take a sip of his beer, his eyes glancing over at her. He chuckled while finishing his sip, covering his mouth to keep from spitting any out.

"Why are smiling like that?" He asked even though his smile matched hers.

She could only shake her head and shrug as he smile stayed, "I guess it's just…kinda nice starting a new chapter in my life."

He clinked their drinks together, "Awesome; I'm glad you decided to come out with me tonight. I know we kind of left off awkwardly at your friends' house…" he said, as if it were the most casual thing in the world. As if it wasn't about the fact that he kissed his doctor while she was engaged and she liked it.

Sam shook her head and waved it off, "Please, let's not worry about that, okay? And you don't have to keep calling Chris and Ash my friends. You got along with Chris, didn't you?"

Josh nodded, "Yeah, actually… he gave me his number. Said I could call him whenever."

"Aww, look at you!" She teased, nudging him in his side, "You got your first bro-ty call lined up."

He just looked at her, shaking his head before saying, "Don't ever say that again," but he lost his composure at the end of his sentence and laughed with her at her lame bro language attempt.

Sam couldn't remember the last time she saw that large of a smile on Josh's face. It was well before the twins' disappearance—and twelve plus years was way too long to go without seeing a smile like Josh's.

And before she knew it, they were having one funny conversation after another. He would tell her what happened in some of his off the wall classes he took, and she in return would tell him about her college days. She made sure to not go back any further than that. From her latest slip up at Chris' when Josh kissed her and she called him by the name he didn't know was his, she was a bit nervous about mentioning any Josh memories around him. The last thing she wanted was to make him uncomfortable and feel awkward again. This night wasn't for that, she reasoned. Especially when she could tell that this was the first time in a long time (maybe the first night in Elliot's life) that he was able to simply enjoy himself. She didn't want this to end for him-or for her.

So she ordered them another round of drinks. She could see in Josh's eyes that he wanted to tease her about her one drink rule she made earlier, but didn't want to give her that reminder. All rules and restrictions were suddenly thrown out the window.

She thought that maybe there was a different route she could take. Was there even another route? She wanted to find out.

"You want to dance?" she found herself asking him after their fifth drink. They had been chatting for well over an hour and she was itching to move around.

"Oh, I don't…don't really dance…" he said a bit shyly.

"Sure you do!" She countered, grabbing his hand and pulling him out where a few other couples were also dancing and having a good time. He resisted a little and when she turned to him, he looked very out of place. But she began swaying her hips, raising her arms above her head.

"You…touch me and it's breaking me down, and me down, and me down…"

She shimmied her body down to the beat of the music, smiling when Josh still only stood in front of her, seemingly already hypnotized by her moves.

"I'm telling you…let's just give it up and get down, and get down, and get down…"

She kind of felt bad for him at this point because he really looked lost, so she took his hands and placed them on her hips. Her arms went around his shoulders where her hands clasped behind his neck as she swung her hips.

"So come on—won't you give me something to remember? Baby, shut your mouth and turn me inside out. Even though we couldn't make this last forever, Baby—! You know what I want right now…"

His eyes were so intense as she danced with him, and she could feel his fingers digging into her hips, and it made her remember the night at Chris' when he knocked on her door and grabbed her and kissed her. The thought made her glance down at his lips and lick her own. It felt so perfect to kiss him the other night—yet she knew that it really wasn't Josh she was kissing. Still, it felt like him. Everything on the outside was him, and even a lot on the inside—he said a lot of things Josh said or would say. Josh was still somewhere in there, begging her to get him out.

Sam realized how close their mouths were, so abruptly flipped herself around. His hands stayed on her hips as she faced away from him, and she wrapped her one arm around his neck as her head rested back on his shoulder.

"You're the only one who ever drove me crazy! 'Cause you know me inside out…"

This dance position forced him to move at least a little bit with her and she laughed when he really did look like he was trying.

"Don't focus so hard!" She told him over the music and she sucked in a deep breath when his hand traveled across her tummy to hold her closer to him.

"I don't even know what to focus on," he admitted, casually pressing his face to the side of hers and she could feel his smile against her cheek.

"Tell me how we got in this position—guess I gotta get you outta my system. Trying to let you go but it's not that easy…"

"Me," she said briefly, her eyes teasingly wandering up to meet his. God, his eyes are even more

gorgeous up close. Her lips parted and she leaned her head forward a bit. Their mouths were almost touching, and his grip that tightened on her let her know that he was very willing.

But he wasn't about to make that move again and it was all on her. And she thought about everything she went through in the past few days—kissing Josh again and breaking up with her fiancé. Then everything within the last month—meeting Elliot and finding out the truth about Josh. Then everything within the past ten years—trying her best to live a normal life and get past knowing she would never be with Josh. Then everything since she was thirteen-years-old and falling hard for her best friend's older brother.

She waited so long for Josh…was she really going to let more time pass before she allowed them to be together? What if he didn't get his memories back for months—years? …ever? She would end up hating herself. Because—this WAS Josh she was with! But no…this was Elliot. He couldn't share any long ago memories with her, but he could create new ones with her. He was sweet, handsome as hell…and everything she'd been looking for in someone since she lost Josh.

Before she could make a decision on whether to kiss him or not, the song ended and it flowed perfectly into a slower song. Everyone else left the dancefloor, obviously not feeling the slow jams of the night, but Sam simply turned herself around and placed her hands on his shoulders to continue dancing.

"There's nothing I could say to you, nothing I could ever do to make you see…what you mean to me…All the pain, the tears I cried; still you never said goodbye and now I know…how far you'd go…"

She smiled softly at him and pressed her forehead to his, closing her eyes and getting lost in the moment.

"I know I let you down; but it's not like that now. This time I'll never let you go…I will be—all that you want, and get myself together…cause you keep me from falling apart."

Her heart raced from the lyrics. She slowly opened her eyes and found that his were closed. She licked her lips and spoke: "Elliot."

He opened his eyes upon hearing his name and she completely melted. Everything she ever did in her life was because of him and somehow got her to this point. She was his psychologist, yes, but if she wasn't, he would have never walked back into her life, the universe wittingly giving them the second chance that should have been impossible. She was willing to lose everything if it meant she could gain him.

Without another thought, she closed the gap between them. Their lips met and he pulled her closer. She ran her hand into his hair; their mouths moved perfectly together and she suddenly felt like she couldn't get enough of him. She wanted to feel his hands all over her, and for his lips to leave a trail down her body.

He must have sensed all this, or just felt the same way, because before she knew it, his hand was cupping her cheek, his thumb running over the smoothness of her skin as he parted with her only slightly, their lips moving together as he spoke, "Should we get outta here?"

She let out a low breath but nodded quickly, before she could change her mind, grasping onto him as they walked to the bar to pay their tab.

"You're the one thing I got right, the only one I let inside, now I can breathe…cause you're here with me…"

She already felt breathless at the looks he was giving her—his eyes held so much love for her she

thought she would burst, and kissing him again was the only thing she could do to survive.

They made their way outside where thankfully there were taxis lined up waiting to take drunken fools home. He picked one, opening the back door for her; she slid in, but stayed in the middle so when he was in, she was sitting close to him.

"Did you…want to go back to my place for awhile? I live close and—."

"Yes," she stopped him before he could ramble or elaborate. Taxis had upgraded in 2024, and there was a barrier between the back and front seat. Josh pressed a button and said his address, sticking a credit card in a slot that would automatically charge it based on miles. Sam watched him the whole time, her eyes never leaving him, so when he leaned back in his seat again, she turned her body toward him; her lips found his jaw and her leg went between his.

His hand gripped her thigh, bringing her leg closer and the friction it immediately created between them was addicting. His other hand got lost in all her hair, his lips pressing hard to hers before he parted them with his tongue to taste her. She welcomed it, a tiny moan getting muffled between them. She ran her hand up his chest until her fingers found the side of neck, her nails digging in gently but with enough pressure to let him know that she could hardly wait for what was to come.

She wished she could concentrate on a certain thought, but the way his thumb was rubbing dangerously close to her inner thigh made it hard to focus. She just kept thinking about that skirt that she considered wearing and what actually could be happening at that moment if she did.

Thankfully, he really did live pretty close to the bar and before she knew it, there was a dinging that let them know they arrived at their destination. He blindly pulled the card from the slot and opened the door, practically falling out when she continued to lean on and hold onto him.

They laughed as they stumbled out of the taxi and onto the street, jogging up to his apartment's front door where he then tried to find the key to get in.

She noticed that his hands were shaking as he jingled through his keys, but it only made her giggle more; she stood on her tiptoes and kissed the skin beside his ear before telling him lowly, "Relax—it's just me."

He gave her a look that very obviously said 'But you are everything' and it made her feel both empty and full somehow. Then he leaned down and kissed her softly and she knew this was Elliot's way of telling her that he thought the world of her. She tugged her lips up, silently taking his keys from him and unlocking the door, then taking his hand as she walked backwards down the hall.

His eyes showed his disbelief that this was actually happening and Sam was feeling it, too. She couldn't even count the number of times she dreamed of being with Josh again…

There was only once that she actually had.

Back on that night at the beachhouse, laying together and listening to the waves crash on the sand in front of them, hypnotizing in its nature...

"I'm gonna miss you too, kid," he'd said.

And she wished time would just stop. She wished the ocean waves would freeze and the sun would allow the moon to stay forever in the sky. If only she could convince Josh to become a beach bum with her. They could forget about college and jobs and the world that was trying to separate them.

And for awhile, she thought the universe was granting her wish. Josh continued to hold her close to him, her ear against his chest as she listened to him deeply hum a song.

But then time was broken when she heard their friends calling for them. She could hear the drunken silliness in all their voices, and she could only imagine which one of them noticed that her and Josh had been gone for a few hours and decided they should drag them back to the party (or simply drag the party to them).

"Oh no, they're coming!" Josh whispered harshly like he was talking about aliens coming to abduct them. He stumbled to his feet as fast as he could in his slightly buzzed state, the sand making his legs heavier and he accidentally fell forward.

Sam giggled, his playfulness contagious as she scrambled to her feet as well. She reached out for his arm to try to maintain her balance, trying to hold back her loud laughter when they both fell to the sand again.

"We need to hide!" He told her urgently as they heard the voices in the dark getting closer to them.

"Sam! Josh!" Hannah called.

"Where are you guys?" Jess shouted to them.

"It's time for another round of shots!" Mike tried to lure.

Josh grabbed Sam's hand as they raced along the edge of the water, their bare feet splashing wet sand up their legs. It was hard to keep her balance while giggling and being dragged by Josh, and her toes got caught up in some heavy sand and she tumbled down into the shallow water. She instinctively held his hand tighter, causing him to fall with her.

He laughed, deep and carefree, their clothes now soaked.

"I never knew you were so clumsy," he told her, his fingers wiping away wet strands of hair from her face.

"You know I don't normally drink!" she countered giddily.

"Maybe they're still in the house somewhere?" Emily shouted out to the others.

"Think they're finally boning?" Mike asked causing a few of them to laugh loudly.

Sam blushed and was glad it was so dark out. It was hardly like Josh even noticed what was said though, as he helped her to her feet. She could see the glint in his eyes and the smile on his face as he pulled her to him, their wet bodies colliding as he squeezed her harder than he ever did before.

"Come on, before they find us," he said lowly though Sam was almost certain that their friends were giving up looking for them outside. He kept her hand as they walked away from the water, and up ahead Sam could see an old lifeguard tower.

Her heart sped up but she tried to hide her nervousness and excitement when she said, "There better not be some crazy prank waiting for me in there."

"Prank?" He glanced at her through the dark, his head cocked; "What's a prank?"

"Uh-huh," she mocked, making her steps bigger to stay beside her as she bravely interlaced their fingers.

They made it to the tower, steep steps leading up to the open door entrance. He let her go in front of him, giving a quick, "Watch your step, m'lady."

She rolled her eyes but squinted in order to see each step, "I think I can handle some stairs."

Her palms were getting sweaty the closer she got to the top. She had no idea why Josh led her there or what it would mean for them. She wondered if he wanted time to stop as well and this was his escape. Maybe they could fall asleep in each other's arms until the bright orange sunrise woke them up the next morning.

But she found herself wanting more than just falling asleep next to him. Despite how chilled her skin felt under her wet clothes, she felt warm with an eagerness she couldn't quite place. And when they made it to the top of the steps, she looked over to him; her heart swelled with both love and sorrow, never imagining the two could go hand in hand.

She was going to miss him. He was her person and him leaving was like getting ripped in half.

Josh walked inside the dark tower, feeling along the side of the wall for something.

"Sam?"

She stayed at the entrance, her eyes trying to adjust, "Yes, Josh?"

"I was wondering…" He trailed off.

"What?" She asked with curiosity in her voice.

Then he flicked on a lantern, a dull light making it possible to finally see. He held it below his face, his eyes wide, "Wanna tell scary stories?"

She grinned, finally walking into the tower and looking around. It was a small, basic one. Three buoys hung on the wall, along with some rope, a first aid kits, blankets. She grabbed one of the blankets, glad it smelled more like the salty ocean than musty, and flipped it open to lay it on the wooden floor. Then she grabbed another one and wrapped it around herself; she sat down, her arm out to welcome him into the warmth.

"You do realize this is how horror movies start, right?" He said but took a seat next to her anyway. He sat the lantern down beside the blanket then leaned back against the wall.

Sam shrugged absently, her shoulder touching his, "Pretty sure I could survive a horror movie."

He shook his head lazily, his eyes glancing down at her, "Sorry to say, Sammy, but the hot blonde is usually the first to go."

"Only if she takes off all her clothes," she countered.

Josh chuckled, "Touché." They remained silent for a long moment, simply enjoying the company and the soft sounds of the ocean outside, "For what it's worth, I think you could still survive with no clothes on, Sammy."

"Thanks, Josh," she said, dropping her head to his shoulder, both of them staring out inside the blackness that seemed very enveloping. It was like looking out into the unknown—there was no way of knowing what the other side held, but she felt safe and content sitting next to Josh. The feel of him next to her reminded her that he wasn't gone yet. That there was still time.

"Hey, Josh?" she asked so quietly he wouldn't have heard her if he wasn't right next to her.

"Hmm?" He hummed. She raised her head to look at him; his eyes were closed, he looked content. Relaxed. At home. She was going to miss seeing his face—she saw him almost everyday since she was thirteen. That's five years of her life she gave completely to him. And he gave to her.

Completely.

So…

Before she could stop herself, she was saying: "I want you to be my first."

He cracked an eye open, staring at her expectant but terrified face. That's how he knew she was serious. She melted when his eyes softened, his thumb tracing over her cheek, seeming in awe at how silky her skin was, "Sam…do you know how hard it would be when I leave then…?"

"I don't care," she said definitely, and she was surprised at her own brazenness. She turned slightly so she could look directly at him; her heart was damn near pounding out of her chest and her mind was on autopilot.

"No…" he clarified, "I meant for me…" Her heart dropped to her stomach when he sighed lowly. He leaned forward, their foreheads almost touching, "You are—…"

He trailed off. Sam waited for him to finish but he couldn't seem to find the words. But then she saw him shaking his head quickly, as if trying to shake himself of something, or talk himself out of it. He leaned away from her and panic fluttered in her stomach. She couldn't let him say no. Without another thought, she leaned in and kissed him, her lips finding his with ease. She had been wanting to feel this again for over a year.

His lips moved against hers almost cautiously. With bravery she didn't know she possessed, she raised herself up on her knees before swinging one leg over him. She was straddling him, their mouths parting but it was like he was breathing life into her, his dark eyes searching hers in the dimly lit tower.

And everything that they ever built together, all of those fragmented moments, suddenly flashed before her eyes and it was like a million fireworks going off around her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him, his lips crashing onto hers in a desperate frenzy; it was as though a part of him thought it best to talk themselves out of this, but the other half had wanted this too long to deny it any longer.

Her hands were in his hair, her fingers clenching when his tongue found hers. But then she was pressing forward, her mouth covering all of his, her body sinking down to rest directly on top of his. Her center rested on his lap and she felt him pulling away. She tried following him, her lips needing his, but he chuckled quickly, grabbing her face and pushing her gently from him.

"What's wrong?" she asked breathlessly, her lips feeling swollen and tingly already.

He shook his head, silently telling her nothing was wrong. His hands went into her thick hair, pushing it over her shoulders. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to her neck though without kissing, much like he did earlier.

"You're really gonna make it impossible to leave," he said against her, his voice somber.

She held him tightly, wanting to be selfish and tell him to stay—to hold off on college until she graduated high school and could go with him. But that wasn't written in the stars; she couldn't ask that because she knew he'd oblige.

So instead she said: "Or give you something to look forward to when you come back…"

Sam felt him smile against her, and she was prepared for a silly comment, but what she wasn't prepared for, was his lips suddenly moving on her neck, his mouth sucking on a sensitive spot below her ear.

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her skin tightening at the sensation. She involuntarily cocked her head to give him better access, her mouth dropping open in bliss as he continued to focus on the sweet spot.

"Josh…" his name escaped her throat and as if just hearing her say his name was all he needed, she felt him harden between them, his hands gripping onto her hips as he pressed her down. She cried out in pleasure when her thighs tightened around him, her hips moving just enough to create friction and elicit a moan from him.

She shivered at the sound and it was all she could do to tear his lips from her neck so she could kiss him in wild abandonment. His hands found her thighs, his thumbs rubbing circles dangerously close to her inner thighs. Then he was breaking away from her, their breaths coming out ragged and harsh.

"You're gonna have to slow down," he breathed, letting out a quick laugh, "I'm not gonna make it to the end otherwise."

"Oh, come now, Josh…" she teased, licking her lips as she grinded against him, though she was hardly responsible for her body's actions, "I'm sure you've done this plenty of times."

His eyes locked with hers and it was all he had to do to tell her that he never slept with another girl before.

Her eyes narrowed briefly, in shock, her hands cupping his face, her whispered breath allowing a, "Really…?"

He chuckled, kissing the side of her mouth then her jaw, "Don't act too surprised, you'll make me think you thought I was some sort of man whore."

She felt like there was too much happiness and passion in her heart, and that it could simply explode any second. She wasn't sure if she always knew that Josh wasn't one to just sleep around or if she was just trying to protect herself from the thought of him being with someone else. Maybe in some part of her, the part she was obviously protecting, she knew that the two of them would eventually end up here together, giving that very last bit to each other.

Slowly, she brought their lips together again, this time slow and caring, as if she suddenly realized she wanted to experience every second of this in slow agonizing motion.

She found the zipper to his hoodie, the sound of metal separating filling the silence until that low ting that indicated she reached the bottom hit her ears. He leaned forward, shaking himself free of his hoodie while Sam's hands found their way to his damp t-shirt. She wiggled it up a bit, helping him get the shirt over his head that was trying to act like a second layer of skin. Her fingers skimmed his abs and she watched him suck in a breath at her touch.

Josh didn't look like all those guys that took up the movie screen—he didn't have a six pack or large muscles. But seeing his flat stomach, and being able to run her hands down his arms that were always perfect at holding her, was enough to make her stomach twirl with anticipation. She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his chest, and she could feel his heart beating wildly against her lips.

"Be gentle with me, it's my first time," he uttered jokingly, never one to spoil an opportunity to ruin a moment. Sam looked up at him, a smile spreading across her lips before she leaned back down and kissed his chest once more. She could feel his hands running up and down the length of her arms, gripping, touching. She began to pepper kisses down his stomach, all the way down to the hem of his jeans. Sam brought her shaking hands to the button of his pants, suddenly aware of just how real this was now, before she sat up, almost losing her nerve.

"Sam, we do not have to do this if you've changed your mind," Josh assured, sitting up now to comfort her. She could see in his eyes that although he was being a perfect gentleman, a part of him was praying that she wasn't having second thoughts. He glanced around the old lifeguard tower, Sam still straddling his knees as she bit her thumbnail, nervously. "I mean… I know that this probably isn't how you pictured it… I'm sure you had your heart set on candles and… well, a bed…" he added dryly. Sam felt another smile creep across her face as she saw the sudden lack of confidence in his eyes; Josh was usually so cocky.

"No," she said quietly, crawling back up to the place that felt right on his lap. She clasped her hands behind his neck, her thumbs gently rubbing across the smoothness of his skin as she found his eyes with hers. "This is actually exactly how I pictured it," she chuckled, lowly. They laughed nervously together before things felt incredibly real again. "Josh… It's perfect because it's with you," she assured, as though that was just what Josh needed. He kissed her again. He pressed forward, farther and farther, guiding Sam backward until her back lay flush against the blanket.

Sam tried to empty her mind as she lay beneath him, crushed beneath the pressure of his body. After a few moments of awkward stiffness, his hands began to roam her body more comfortably, trailing down her sides, her hips, her thighs. Sam groaned when his hands slinked under her knees, helping her wrap them around his waist, holding her close to him as his lips trailed down her neck again. Sam felt like she was in heaven, her body beginning to come awake in ways she'd never known it was even capable of.

Josh's hand slowly slid up her skirt, and everywhere he touched left goosebumps; Sam wasn't so certain it was just his touch and not the sting of the cool, ocean air hitting every place he exposed. Sam grabbed ahold of the bottom of her shirt and bikini top, shimmying them both off of her so she could match him, wanting so badly to discover what it felt like when his skin pressed against hers. He moaned into her neck when their bodies touched, like they were electric - Sam couldn't deny how amazing it felt to be skin to skin.

The more he ground his hips against hers, the more prominently Sam could feel his hardness pressing against her. The pressure was enough to drive her over the edge and he wasn't even inside of her yet. Was this what she had been missing out on all this time?

Sam felt herself get brave again, reaching her hand between them to unfasten his buttons. With a confidence she didn't even know she had, she reached inside, taking ahold of him firmly in her hand. Josh groaned, low in his throat and Sam felt a slight satisfaction knowing that she was the one eliciting such a reaction from him - maybe even the only one who ever had. His body tensed a bit, as though his mind was incapable of focusing on anything else while she was touching him like this, and his lips stopped moving against her neck.

Josh pulled away from her suddenly, and Sam would have thought she'd done something wrong if his fumbling hands didn't directly reach up her cotton skirt, searching for the hem of her bathing suit bottoms. Sam raised her hips, helping him slide them off, and he tossed them aside quickly.

While Sam thought about all of the things they could do, all the things she wanted to do to him… she knew that for tonight she just wanted to know what it felt like to be connected to the person she loved the most. They would have plenty of time to explore the other stuff, eventually, she reasoned.

Josh's hands grazed down the length of each of Sam's sun-tanned, sand-covered legs, then back up to her thighs before he lowered himself back down upon her. He propped himself up by his elbows as he stared down at her, smoothing out her pretty blonde hair that was surrounding her head like a halo now. "I think I will always remember you just… like… this," he said quietly, leaning down to kiss her chin, her lips, her nose with each pause. Sam jumped a bit when she felt his fingers ghost over her inner thigh under her skirt before his hand pressed firmly against her most sensitive area. "Have you ever done anything like this before?" he asked, his face lowered down by her ear now. Her words got choked up in her throat and as she felt two fingers slide inside of her, all she was capable of was a short head shake to his question. She felt her back arch involuntarily, noticing the way her body seemed to move on its own accord at this point.

Josh's lips dragged along her collarbone as he continued to work his fingers inside of her, and Sam noticed how slick they became the more he moved. She grabbed ahold of the first part of him she could reach, his bicep, as she squeezed her fingers into his skin and bit her lip to keep from moaning. This just seemed to encourage Josh even more, and he seemed to be getting worked up just by seeing Sam's enjoyment.

Sam excitedly brought Josh's mouth to hers to lay claim to once more, imagining she was marking her territory for good. Something about the feelings rushing through Sam's entire body made her feel like a goddess, empowered. Josh slipped his hand from her dampness before he centered himself more upon her, reaching down to free himself of his jeans. Sam's eyes fluttered open as she felt him graze against her, a different sensation. Sam let her legs fall more open, and studied the concentrated, intense look on Josh's face as he prepared to enter her. Sam's hand lightly touched his face and his eyes connected with hers, the final permission.

Josh pressed his hips forward into Sam once, cautiously, caringly. He didn't even have to ask if she was alright, he could just tell my the look of trust in her eyes that she was fine. Then the small, but slightly prideful smile, let Josh know that she was better than fine. She squirmed a bit beneath him, trying to get used to the sensation, the fullness. He felt searing hot inside of her, she wished that they could stay like this forever. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, pulling his chest close to hers in an embrace. She wanted to feel his staggered breathing against her neck, his dewy skin rubbing against hers, while she placed fleeting, sporadic kisses against his shoulder.

Josh pressed forward again and he was gone. He began to move against her with more stamina, and Sam began to rock her body beneath him.

"Fuck," Josh's low voice growled, most likely involuntarily. He ran his hand up her sides and Sam's body spasmed and slacked beneath him, unsure what sensation to focus in on more. Although she was taken aback by the feeling of his hand cupping over her breast, Sam focused on the sensation of him sliding in and out of her, slipping against her wetness. She was surprised she was so wet, considering it was her first time. She'd always heard horror stories about the first time hurting… Sam was pleasantly surprised that aside of the initial tight fit and awkwardness, she was thoroughly enjoying herself.

Josh thrust deeply into her as he slid his tongue deeper into her mouth, where he caught her soft moaning as she felt the tingling, hot sensation growing from deep within her. The way he was hitting her seemed to be the right place, and when he kept deeper and closer contact it began to send her over the edge. She moaned again, louder this time and again it just seemed to encourage Josh even further and Sam found herself falling in love with the sounds of their mingled cries. Sam's skirt was bunched up high around her waist as she clenched her legs around him even tighter, her legs and stomach muscles clenching as she held back his name, which she wanted to say over and over and over again.

Sam felt an unmistakable wave wash over her, then another. She tensed beneath him, her head falling back and her mouth opening for a soundless yell. Josh caught sight of her ecstasy, a grin spreading across his lips as he quickened his pace. It only took a couple of Sam's uncontrollable moans near Josh's ear before she felt him halt, shuddering a bit. Sam bit her swollen lip, her heart beating in her throat and her breath rapid. She pulled Josh's agape mouth to hers once more. She opened her eyes and after his body began to relax he opened his as well. Their serious, intense faces didn't last, and before they knew it they both broke into delirious laughter. Josh groaned, and Sam didn't want him to leave her just yet but he did anyway, rolling beside her but quickly extending his arm out for her to lay her head on his chest. He reached beside him and pulled over the beach blanket, covering them lazily, with many part of them still exposed to the night sea air. Sam rolled onto her stomach, her chin on his chest as she stared up at him through glossy eyes.

"So… that's what that's like," Josh announced, and Sam groaned playfully, her hand draping across her face. She could feel her hot cheeks and imagined they were bright red from the excursion and the sheepishness. "Oh-ho-ho… suddenly we're shy?" he said teasingly poking her in the side like before on the beach. Sam giggled, removing her hand from her face to slap his prodding finger away from her. She could hear him quietly humming 'Allison,' and she had never loved him more. She wanted to tell him that, her mouth even geared up to as she quickly said, 'Josh?'

He opened one eye peeking down at her before propping himself up on his elbows to get a better look at her. He stared back at her, waiting, but instead she just said, 'thank you.' He offered her a sideways smirk, pushing away a blonde lock that kept falling into her eyes and then resting it against her cheek.

"Still scared I'm gonna forget about you or fall in love with someone else?" he droned, his voice lower than usual. Sam leaned into his hand, and he softly and lovingly grazed his thumb against her skin. Sam didn't take her eyes off of him as she leaned down and kissed the skin of his chest once more.

"Kinda," she exhaled. Josh's eyebrows raised at her honesty, and Sam was sure he was surprised that their intimacy didn't douse the flame of any doubts she had in her head.

"Well, you better just knock that off, Jensen," he said in mock sternness before he sat up suddenly, pulling Sam back up and onto his lap. Sam loved the feeling of their sticky skin reconnecting as she leaned her head down and pressed her forehead to his. Josh's hands ran up the length of her back as he promised, "Because you and I are endgame." Sam just smiled and pressed a lingering, soft kiss against his lips. She wished the night would drag on forever, afraid of what he said earlier, about how much harder their goodbye was going to be now. Sam nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, taking in the scent of him, feeling complete as his arms wrapped around her tightly. She let out a long exhale, her heart finally feeling like it was beating at a normal pace and frequency.

"Um… Sam?" she heard Josh say after a few moments of silence, other than the sound of the party that neither wanted to go back to raging on in the distance.

"Yes Josh?" Sam's voice lazy slurred, feeling drunk off of him.

"Are you... on the pill?"

Sam pushed the bittersweet memories of that night in the back of her mind as her back pressed against his door, his body pressing tightly against hers when he kissed her again.

Sam almost felt guilty. It had only been three days since she'd left Liam and here she was, back at Josh's apartment in practically no time. But Josh wasn't just anyone. He was Josh. She had no problem justifying that in her mind, especially as he pushed her down onto his bed and leaned down, his body pressing hard against hers as his lips found hers again, desperately. The thing she was having a hard time with was that he didn't have his memories back… he didn't even know who she really was to him. Who they were to each other.

She moaned softly as his lips trailed her neck, his hand climbing up her shirt and gliding up her bare stomach. Just like he had before.

It felt like him. It tasted like him. It looked like him.

But it wasn't totally him. He might have had his face and his memories buried deep down in there somewhere, but Sam was having a hard time knowing that her first time in years with Josh wouldn't be with Josh. It almost made her head hurt when she thought about it, it was all so surreal.

Sam's hands reached down between them, negotiating his belt. His eyes shot open as if to say, 'are we really doing this?' As though he didn't actually believe it would have ever made it this far. Sam liked it. It reminded her of the boy she once knew, just grateful for the opportunity.

Sam took him in her hand and he groaned into her mouth from the sensation. Sam broke their kiss, her eyes looking all over his face, trying to search for any sign of Josh in there. All she could see was Elliot staring back her.

And Sam realized that she loved him, too, in a way.

She quickly found peace in the fact that she would have him, always, no matter what state he was in.

"Condom?" she asked, her lips rubbed raw from all of the kissing, remembering their lack of forethought the last time. Josh pulled away from her, his eyes rolling up as he tried to recall where he'd stashed them, then he gave her a quick nod. He leaned down slowly, quickly taking her face in his hands and kissing her again. Then once more. Her cheek. Her neck. Then he jumped up and headed down the hall to find one. Sam laid in the silence for a moment before a big grin spread across her face and she covered her eyes with her hands. This was happening. THIS was really happening.

She rolled over, and groaned, mowing over the TV remote.

Sam wasn't too alarmed when she heard the TV click on, she just sat up and took the remote, squinting her eyes to find the power button to shut it off.

"Hello, friend," a chilling, eerily familiar voice said suddenly, and Sam almost dropped the remote she was so startled. Her mouth ran dry, her heart thumping against her ribs the moment she recognized the voice - she'd heard it before and it was something she would never forget. The voice of the maniac. Worse, the voice of Josh as the maniac.

Sam's eyes reluctantly pulled to the TV, and then her hand cupped over her mouth when she saw it.

On the television screen was Liam, strapped down to a chair in what appeared to be an old warehouse. "You are about to partake in a little experiment." Sam felt nauseous, sweaty. Her eyes began to water. "Liam- you haven't been faithful to your fiancee, have you?" Sam stood slowly, nearing the TV as she watched and listened in horror. Liam struggled against his tethers.

"Fuck you!" he yelled out. Sam could just barely make out an object in each of his hands. One was a knife. One was a gun.

"Tut-tut-tut, Liam. Watch your language," the voice taunted. Sam startled when she saw Josh standing in the doorway, frozen in fear. "You have three options…" the voice prompted.

"Sam, I swear I can explain this-" Josh began, a step towards her. She just stared back at the screen as the 'game' went on. There was no use in him trying to shut it off. The damage had been done.

"You can use the knife in your hand to remove the instrument that aids you in your adulterous ways…" the voice suggested.

"You're insane!" Liam screamed on the screen.

"You can shoot yourself or… you can go home and tell your fiancee what a vile, disgusting, pig you are and free her from you."

Sam gasped in horror, her eyes noting the date and time in the corner of the video… this happened two days ago, after she and Liam had already split up. Sam turned toward Josh as the sounds of Liam yelling continued to play, and he just stared down at the floor, ashamed.

"What did you do to him?" she cried, hurling the remote in Josh's direction.

"Sam I swear-!" He hurried to her, and she writhed out of his grip, even though she knew he would never hurt her.

"What happened to him?!" she said in a sob, "where is he?"

"He's fine, he's fine I promise I did not hurt him, Sam," Josh assured, taking her face in his hands and forcing her gaze to his. Sam wasn't just crying because of what Josh had done… she was crying because she realized that he was still sick.

Sam had been spending all this time trying to get Josh's memories back that she completely neglected the fact that Josh still needed help from his other psychiatric ailments. She had allowed this to happen by wanting him back so badly.

"He...he was cheating on you. I just… I needed to teach him a lesson."

"What are you talking about?"

"There were a lot of different women-," Josh tried to explain.

"You don't know that," Sam sniffled, pulling away from him. She took a step back from him, shaking her head. "How could you possibly know that?" Josh swallowed hard, looking away from her face.

"I… followed him…"

"You what?" she hissed, her hand finding her forehead. She felt hot and clammy, such a vast difference from only three minutes ago. She felt her stomach churn and feared she might throw up.

"I just… I knew that guy was up to no good and I saw him go to a hotel with this brunette… and then there was another one, a redhead at a bistro. It wasn't business, Sam. You gotta believe me. He was cheating on you. YOU, Sam!" he added heatedly, and Sam saw an all-too familiar craziness in his eyes. He ran his hands over his face, "just out in the open! And you didn't even know… I couldn't let him get away with that…"

He did it for her. To protect her. The thought of that made her stomach twist again as Sam stifled a retch.

Josh tried to near her, tears in his eyes, and it was so difficult to look away from him, to not comfort him. All she could keep thinking about was running away from him, fearing her life.

The man behind the mask was still there…

To be continued...

aka

we are so sorry