Chapter 14:

Fortune Cookies

Later that night, after her first session back with Josh, Sam had trouble sleeping.

She wasn't too surprised about this; his fragmented memories of that night she left him in the mines during his hypnosis session had left her reeling. Sam had spent the better half of the last two months recalling moment after moment of her long, winding history with Josh (good and bad) and as she laid in her bed that seemed far too large for one person, she tried to will herself not to remember the darker parts; the parts she'd been so carefully avoiding.

Sam hadn't thought about the night that everything started in quite some time - the catalyst that had trickled down all the way to this moment. She'd get pieces here or there but force herself to think of something, anything, else. And for a while that seemed to work. But she couldn't avoid it forever. And as she laid in bed, tossing and turning once again, she started to see events unfolding in her mind, playing like a movie across her ceiling. It all seemed so fresh, even though it had been so long since the night it all started. The night the twins disappeared.

Sam had watched on helplessly as Beth ran off into the woods after Hannah. Around her, she could hear her friends mumbling to each other about how it was only a prank and how Hannah always overreacted about everything. Sam was too worried about the twins to even bother accusing them of being so cruel. They could try to justify their actions amongst themselves all they wanted.

After about fifteen minutes, Sam was really starting to get concerned. If Beth found Hannah, they should have returned to the lodge. Some part in Sam's mind was trying to tell her to calm down, that Hannah was still embarrassed and Beth was talking to her in the privacy of the woods so Hannah wouldn't have to face her friends.

But another part of her told her that Beth knew she would be worried about them and convince Hannah to come back. The next five minutes were pure torture, but finally, Sam went in to wake up Josh and let him know what was going on.

He was still slumped over the counter, and shaking him did nothing to jolt him away.

"Josh? Josh, get up, your—Josh! Josh!" She finally yelled and it earned her a small groan from him. "Josh, your sisters ran out into the woods…they've been gone awhile now…"

He groaned again, annoyed, his eyebrows narrowing, "They fucking know better…" he slurred, and she could tell he was trying to use his disappointed strict voice, but he just sounded drunk.

"I'm really worried," Sam told him even though she wasn't sure her words were registering. She bit her lip when he didn't respond, then said, "I'm going to call for help."

"No!" He said quickly, his body sitting upright. He placed his hands over his eyes so he wouldn't have to stare at the bright lights, "No need to fucking ruin the whole weekend for everyone…damn it…I'll go find them." He wobbled as he stood up and his chair tumbled loudly to the floor.

The sound woke Chris up, his bloodshot eyes peering over his crooked glasses, "What's going on…"

Sam ignored Chris as she shot her hands out to help stabilize Josh, "Josh, you're too drunk to go out there l—."

"They're probably just doing some dumbass prank," Josh reasoned and Sam almost didn't want to tell him that a prank is how this started, but that it wasn't ending that way.

"I'm coming with you then," she said as she went to the hallway closet and gathered their coats and hats. When she turned around, she jumped when Josh was standing right behind her.

His eyes were dull and red, showing how drunk and tired he was, but a smirk curved his lips, "If you wanted some…alone time…all you had to do was ask."

"This isn't about that," she said quickly, as she shoved his hat on him. She understood that his brain wasn't working right, but his lack of concern was really pissing her off.

"I'm going with you guys, too," Chris said from the kitchen, and Sam was just glad that he sounded a lot more sober than Josh did.

Josh brought his face closer to Sam's as he whispered, "Our plan has been soiled."

Sam handed him his coat then grabbed Chris', handing it to him as she said, "Thanks, Chris. Josh knows these woods more than any of us, but I have no idea if he'll be able to find his sisters when—." She stopped when Ashley came running in, her big eyes wide with tears.

"I swear, I don't know what…we didn't mean it, she just—," Ashley rambled. Sam could tell she was scared of admitting what she did and the result of their insensitiveness.

"I'm going out with Sam and Josh to look for them," Chris assured her, not even trying to stop her when she said that she was coming with them.

Josh shook his head, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets, "I'm beginning to think this is some stupid prank and you guys are going to get me good in the woods. Am I going to be left dangling in a tree by my ankles?"

Sam didn't even want to argue with him. She was actually hoping that they would find Beth and Hannah in no time and Josh can just continue believing that it was all a stupid joke meant to scare him.

But after forty minutes out in the cold woods, their faces feeling frozen and their voices becoming raw, Sam could see that Josh was fully worried. The adrenaline drained the alcohol from his system, and he was realizing the gravity of the situation.

"Why the hell did they even run off for?!" Josh yelled, turning to his three friends who stood around him.

"Beth ran after Hannah when—," Sam began to explain but Ashley cut her off.

"It-it was just a joke! We had no idea Hannah would go running off into the woods because of some stupid prank! You two—," Ashley pointed between Josh and Chris, "are always doing stuff like this to her!"

Sam shook her head quickly, anger flaring inside her, "Ashley, they've never done—."

"What did you do?" Josh interrupted, his eyes shadowy and narrowed as he stared at Ashley. Sam was sure that, of all the years she'd known him, she'd never seen such darkness in his face. Ashley opened her mouth to continue explaining, but she choked on her words, most likely from both fear and regret. When she didn't answer Josh, he seemed to rush toward her with inhuman speed, his fingers clenching onto her upper arms as he shook her hard, "What did you do?!"

"Josh, bro!" Chris jumped in, pushing Josh's shoulder back to make him step away from Ashley.

Sam covered her mouth with her hands from shock, thinking for sure that Josh was going to hit Ashley. But Ashley stepped away, physically unharmed, her hands covering her face.

"What hap—," Josh cut himself short; he turned away from them, his fists clenched as he continued yelling for his sisters, "Beth! Hannah! You better come out or I'll make sure you're never allowed at the lodge again!"

His voice sounded like a strict yet scared and anxious father's and it made Sam's heart clench. She went to Ashley, pushing her gently to have her keep up with them as they continued searching.

About time they came near a cliff, a small blizzard was coming in. The wind nipped at their skin and the snow being lifted made it hard to see ten feet in front of them. Sam was getting worried that they would get themselves lost or accidentally fall from a cliff if they continued on. She neared Josh, wincing when he continued yelling for the twins despite the hoarseness in his voice.

"Josh…I think we need to go back and call for help…" she suggested softly.

His chest rose and fell heavily, his wide eyes trying to search the whole area in one glance. He didn't outwardly agree with her, but she could see that he knew she was right.

His eyes closed and he hung his head, but the last thing she expected out of his mouth was, "I smell fire…"

Sam paused and sniffed; at first she couldn't detect anything, just the cold bitterness that seemed frozen in her nose, but after a moment, there was no denying that there was a hint of smokiness in the air. She had no idea what it could mean though. It would make no sense for Beth and Hannah to be starting a campfire when they were so close to the lodge.

"Maybe Beth and Hannah made it back…" Sam offered, though something in her heart told her that it wasn't true.

The four of them made it back to the lodge right when the snow and wind really started to pick up. The rest of the gang was sitting in the warmth of the living room when Sam, Josh, Chris, and Ashley walked in.

"Did you find them?" Jessica asked, the first one to stand up.

"Does it look like they found them?" Emily spat at her, standing up quickly.

Mike and Matt jumped to their feet, waiting to break up a catfight if needed.

"Guys, we messed up! We messed up so bad," Ashley rambled, her nose and cheeks a bright pink but the rest of her completely white.

"We didn't do anything bad," Emily countered, and Sam could tell that this was Emily's way of trying to calm everyone down.

"Hannah was supposed to run into her room or something, not out into the woods!" Mike spoke up.

Emily rolled her eyes, "That wouldn't be dramatic enough for Hannah."

"She ran right past Beth and Sam, couldn't—." Jess began.

"Shut…UP!" Josh suddenly yelled and the room got silent. His eyes scanned over each one of them accusingly, and Sam winced when she witnessed the first sign of hatred. When he didn't say anything else, the strong silence got to be too much for Jessica, so she spoke up to explain.

"We knew Hannah had a crush on Mike, so we just wanted to tease her a little. We can delete the video if you want…" her eyes flitted over the camera that was in Matt's hands.

Josh went over and snatched the camera from Matt; Matt held up his hands when he was on the direct receiving end of Josh's anger, "Hey man…it was just a joke—we didn't mean anything-."

Josh stared down at the camera and Sam was surprised to see him play the video while everyone was around. She could hear the laughter on the video, the excited and rushed "here she comes, here she comes, shhh!" from a couple of them. She could even hear the distant sounds of her and Beth's voices in the background calling for Hannah…

Then the sound of a door banging as Hannah ran from the room before all of them called after her that it was just a prank.

Sam held her breath when Josh didn't even look up from the camera when it was over. She was expecting him to try to hit Matt or Mike. She was expecting him to yell angrily about how shitty they were to do something like that to poor Hannah. But instead, he said, in a low voice, "You better hope they show up…or you'll all be sorry."

"Um, excuse me, is that a threat?" Emily snapped, her hand on her hip as she bravely neared him, "How is it our fault that she—."

"How is it not your fault?!" Josh yelled, his arm swinging the camera up above his head to show proof, but again, everyone thought he was about to strike.

Sam stepped forward quickly, not even wanting to deal with the consequences if Josh hit any of them, "Josh…let's just call for help…" she reached out a hand for him, but he spun around quickly, her hand being smacked away from him.

"And what the hell were you doing, Samantha? I thought you were her best friend!"

Her head snapped back at his accusation before her eyes narrowed, "I was trying to stop it from

happening, Josh! And w-what about you!" Her chest seemed to cave in and shatter as she sizzled at him, "At least I wasn't passed out drunk!"

Something flashed across his face that she couldn't quite place—it was deeper than any hatred she'd ever seen—a madness that made her feel real fear. And yet, despite that, she blamed herself for that reaction, because he was obviously just stressed and worried about his sisters, and she had to right to try to place any of the blame on him.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered meekly, though it rang in everyone else's ears in the dead silence of the room.

But he was already heading to the phone, Chris right beside him to speak in case Josh couldn't.

Then she felt a heavy weight press down on her shoulders, and she knew her life was never going to be the same after that night.

Sam's eyes shot open to the sound of her alarm - she hadn't even realized she'd dozed off. The thoughts of that night were still running through her head and she felt like she hadn't slept at all. Despite her heavy feet and eyes, Sam got up and took herself to the shower. If she hadn't already taken so much time off work, she would have considered calling in today - she was almost positive she wasn't going to be able to focus with such broken, restless sleep.

But she would have to get it together whether she wanted to or not; her first session of the day was with Mrs. Henderson, a serial kleptomaniac with borderline personality disorder, and it was only an hour and a half away.

It had only taken another session or two before things had begun to feel normal with Josh again… (whatever that meant). The more he met with her, the more Sam realized that Josh's medication seemed to actually be helping him - He wasn't having any more paranoia, no more erratic behaviour, and no more nightmares. This was bittersweet to Sam simply because, although she didn't necessarily want him to be tormented by his sister's ghosts, it seemed like those nightmares could possibly be the key to unlocking Josh's memories. Clearly his subconscious mind was remembering much more than he was.

And the more Josh seemed to be getting better, the more Sam's mind began to veer back into wanting to help him remember everything, although that kind of thinking only seemed to get her in trouble, and Josh wasn't making it any easier on her. He had officially asked her to see him outside of their sessions four more times since the first already; twice today.

Sam always politely declined, reminding him that given their situation she felt more comfortable staying in her office and not seeing one another outside of therapy. Today he'd asked her if she was hungry and if she wanted to get lunch.

"You're never going to stop trying, are you?" she said quietly, shaking her head as she arranged the files on her desk. He was working her will down, one day at a time.

"Nope," was his one-word response. There was something dangerously honest in that answer as he stared back at her, his gaze unwavering and his arms crossed over his chest - a physical stance of defiance. His body was telling her that he wasn't going to budge. When Josh wanted to do something, he just went right along and did it. She looked away from him as he said, "what are you so afraid of?" Surely, he had to know just how unfair that question was - he had proven himself to be something to be afraid of not once but twice in her life.

He sighed, a reluctant sign of surrender before he stood. She was certain that it must have been really hard to be rejected so many times in a row - although, it was becoming harder and harder to do so. She wondered if he knew this. Of course he knew this. And as much as she loved being able to see him again - those weeks apart before were almost unbearable - a small part of her was beginning to regret taking him back as a client.

Sam decided, after he left for the day, that she was going to take a walk around the block to get some fresh air and maybe a tea. She'd only been gone for about fifteen minutes and when she returned to her office, she was surprised - and startled - to see that Josh was back.

"What are you doin-" she stopped speaking when she saw her desk. Scattered across it was some take out. She dropped her arms to her side, her shoulders slumping, "What is this?" she scolded. Josh looked at her, and in his eyes she thought she could see his confidence thinning, but then he gave her a smirk.

"Well, this…" he pointed to one of the boxes, "this is tofu-fried rice. And this," he pointed to another, "is stir fried veggies." Sam tried to contain her grin as she crossed her arms and neared the desk, peeking down at the array of food, her curiosity (and her stomach) growing more and more curious. He pointed to each box, "Uhm...veggie spring rolls… and veggie dumplings…" he listed. Sam reached for an unopened box but Josh snatched it from her before she could get it. "Nonono… that's mine. Vegan or not, you can't honestly expect me not to order orange chicken, let's be real here…" he joked.

"Elliot, I thought we talked about this?" she asked, but at this point she knew he didn't care.

"You said we have to stay in your office. Keep it professional," he added as he picked up a candle from a grocery bag and lit it before setting it in the middle of the desk. Sam hid her mouth behind her hand as she tried to stifle a laugh. He looked at her and gestured his arms out as if to say, "ta-da!"

"And what is that?" she asked, pointing to the candle. "How is that professional?" she added with a cocked eyebrow.

"Oh, that? That's just...uh... atmosphere. A little ambiance for our super professional lunch date."

"It's not professional if it contains the word date," she replied flatly. He walked behind her desk and pulled out her chair for her to sit.

"I know you don't have any more sessions til 3. I checked your appointment book," he said, his eyes falling to her leather-bound book on her filing cabinet.

"That is really inappropriate and you know it," she quietly scolded, but her feet still carried her over to her chair anyway. She sat and he quickly rounded her desk, sitting across from her and instantly digging into the food. "Did you just buy everything on the menu that could be vegan?" she questioned as she realized just how much food there was between the two of them. Josh grinned through a mouthful of rice. That was her answer. She hesitantly picked up a take out box, staring down at the contents, skeptically.

"Oh, not that one. I poisoned it," he said, his face incredibly serious. Sam narrowed her eyes and nodded.

"Ha-ha, very funny. You know, your dark sense of humor is gonna get you in real trouble one day," she informed him as she began to pluck out the broccoli.

"See? This is nice! Isn't this nice?" It was nice. And she was starving. She thought about the last time they'd shared a meal together - at Chris and Ashley's. That felt like so long ago, back before all of the most recent setbacks that they'd encountered. Sam found, however, that the more she sat in his presence in a less formal manner, the more she felt herself begin to relax. She glanced across her desk at him as he focused (maybe even too intensely) on the food he was enjoying. She smirked to herself, remembering that he was still here. And Josh was still in there somewhere. And now that he was getting his mind healthy, they could begin to rebuild.

"Chris has called me a few times," Josh told her through a mouthful of food. (Josh never had the best table manners). She swallowed the bite in her mouth.

"Oh? And what has he said?"

"Don't know," Josh shrugged, eyeing the spring rolls, "I haven't answered." Sam pressed her lips together into a frown.

"Why not?"

"I uh… I guess I didn't really wanna explain why you weren't talking to me-"

"I wasn't not talking to you, Elliot," she said, looking down at her food to evade his intense gaze. "I was just… taking some appropriate and much needed space from our situation. It was selfish of me to blur the lines between our professional and personal relationships. It made me miss some very necessary signals that you needed help." When she finally looked up at him, she was surprised to see him grinning across from her. It was as adorable as it was irritating. "What now?" she snapped slightly.

"Aw," he uttered shortly and sweetly, his eyes falling back to the box of orange chicken in his hand as he began to pick at it with his chopsticks. "I just think it's cute that I did something awful and you are still blaming yourself," he teased. Sam didn't reply to that - he couldn't even begin to know how wrong she had been in handling him before. She cringed when she thought about the night she went to his apartment; not just because of the video, but because of how desperate she was to feel close to Josh, even though he was alllll Elliot that night. It made her feel a little foolish when she reflected on it.

"Did… you tell him?" Josh suddenly asked, and Sam could pick out the fear in his eyes. She shook her head; she was glad he cared. It showed remorse, which was something she'd never really gotten from Josh in the past. "I'm glad you let me do this," he added, giving her a slight shrug. Sam snorted.

"I think that I 'let you' is kinda stretching it, there. You didn't really leave me much of a choice now, did you?" she said, but she smiled to let him know she didn't mind as much as she should have. "Elliot… I know you're trying really hard to make things right," Sam said, setting down her box of Chinese food. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the desk and cradling her chin.

"But…" he sighed, knowing where this conversation was heading before even Sam did. She hadn't intended on a 'but'… but now she realized that she had one.

"But… even still, we need to be very clear about our-"

"Boundaries, got it. So, wanna catch a movie after this?" he teased, and Sam opened her mouth to scold him but he beat her to it with, 'Hey, just joshin' ya." The phrase made Sam immediately lose her appetite His, however, remained in tact as he shoveled another bite in his mouth. Sam hated this. The person she had loved more than anything in her entire life was literally an arm's distance away and there was nothing she could do about it. This wasn't the first time she had to put her feelings for him aside just to be what he needed - making sure his mind was healthy was one of the most important thing for them both to be focused on, not their feelings for each other.

As Sam stared at him, wishing things could be different for the millionth time in her life, she thought back on one of the last times she'd seen Josh before the night he had revenge-pranked them all. For a long time after he 'died', she'd thought about those few times they'd gotten to be together after the twins went missing, wondering if she could pick out any clues of what he'd been planning; had there been such obvious hints that she'd overlooked?

One time in particular had stood out most.

A few months after Hannah and Beth disappeared, Sam stirred in her bed, and then sat up to her elbows when she heard the light knocking against her window. At first her heart jumped, her body overtaken with fear as she thought someone was trying to break in. She could see the silhouette of a man standing outside her window through her white, fabric curtains.

"Sam!" she heard a voice whisper sharply through the glass. "Open up!" a little louder. She hurried from her bed; she had an idea who it might be, and her main focus as this moment was to keep him from waking up her mom.

She ripped back her curtains and sure enough, there was Josh standing outside her window. He didn't look like himself, though. He'd lost more weight. His eyes were even more sunken in.

Sam wondered what he would have done had she not just moved her room to the bottom floor - thrown pebbles? She reached down and struggled to lift the window open with a slight grunt; the house was old and the windowsill had been painted so many times now that it stuck sometimes.

Once she got it opened enough, Josh began pushing his way in, climbing through clumsily. He landed on her floor with a loud thump, and Sam leaned down to help him up as she shushed him.

"Josh, it's two in the morning, what are you doing here?" she whispered. He looked up at her from the floor, and she could see from the laziness in his eyes that he had been drinking.

"You wouldn't have complained six months ago," he smirked, and Sam recoiled a bit from the smell of whiskey on his breath. He was right; six months ago she would have been ecstatic to have Josh sneaking into her room - although he didn't have to sneak. Margaret wouldn't have minded.

It was June now. The girls had been missing for four months, and although no one wanted to admit that they had already digested the fact that they were dead, no one would say it aloud. Especially Sam.

Sam hadn't seen Josh since a little after the night she'd brought him over to spend the night with her - back then he'd seemed so out of it. A zombified version of himself. After that, his parents suggested he go back to college (probably because they didn't know what else to do with him) and try to get back to a normal life and that's the last Sam knew… but now he was here.

"Jesus, Josh… did you take a bath in it?" she said, only half-joking as she helped to hoist him up into a sitting position. That was about as far as he was gonna make it up; he turned his body around to face her and leaned his back against her wall under her window. Sam sat on her knees across from him, trying to make out his features in the limited glow from the moon and the streetlights. "I… I thought you were back in school," she said. Things had been so weird between them since she came to visit him at college, and then everything happened with his sisters and she'd tried to be there for him. It was so hard to put her own feelings for him aside to focus on what he needed, which was someone to listen and be there for him. He would call her a lot when he went back to college but it was always so… sad. She remembered when he told her that he thought she was the only person who understood him. She wondered if this was because she was the only one who loved Hannah and Beth like him, or if he really thought that she got him.

"Dropped out," he said evenly. Sam folded her lips and inhaled through her nose as she closed her eyes, trying to find the right words to say. He was such a mess. He rubbed his hands roughly down his face and groaned, frustratedly, "it was stupid to go back. They shouldn't have sent me back."

"Hey, it's okay," she said comfortingly, scooting closer to him and taking his hands away from his face. She rested her own hand on his cheek, and he leaned into it a bit. "It's okay. You just weren't ready, that's all…" she assured. He nodded wordlessly, his eyes finally crawling to meet hers. She felt her breath hitch as he said, "I've missed you, Sammy." She tried not to smile at the first sweet thing he'd said to her in what felt like forever. It wasn't that he'd been unkind or anything just… distracted. Not quite there. It had been like the piece of him that made him Josh was missing - Sam felt selfish for thinking about these things.

"I've missed you too, Josh," her voice broke. Maybe even more so, since she felt like she'd been missing him for months. They quickly and almost awkwardly gravitated towards one another, their lips colliding in the dark. Josh grabbed ahold of her waist and pulled her up onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her as he continued to kiss her with a passion he seemed to be lacking in all other areas of life for now. Sam was so conflicted inside, torn between being so heartbroken and happy at the same time, like being homesick for a place you never got to call home. He pulled away slightly, and Sam wrinkled her nose at the smell of the alcohol still heavy on his breath. She wondered how much he'd had to drink.

Sam was straddling him on her knees as he pulled her even tighter to him, resting his head against her chest. She was unsure what to do at first; she apprehensively glanced down at the top of his head for a moment before she sighed and enveloped him in her own arms. As soon as he felt the weight of her arms on him, she felt his body jerk and she felt the wetness soak through her shirt and she realized that he was crying - as though he'd been awaiting permission to break down. Sam held onto him tighter, her own eyes brimming with tears just knowing him well enough to know that there wasn't anything she could possibly say to make him feel better right now. She just ran her hand through his hair absently, her other arm locked around him to make him feel secure and loved - at least, she hoped he felt that way.

"I'm sorry," he cried into her chest; she had never seen Josh like this, and she knew he probably never wanted her to see him like this. A little part of her was honored that he would break down in front of her, whether he meant to or not.

"Don't," Sam said sternly, shaking her head even though he couldn't see her. "Don't apologize to me, Josh. You never have to apologize to me," she promised. "And I will always be there for you, please know that," she said in almost a beg. She felt his grip on her loosen as he leaned back against the wall again, wiping the tears away quickly, almost aggressively, from his face. He took in a staggered breath before he allowed their eyes to meet again.

"Can we just like… talk for a while?" he implored, as though he even had to ask. Sam stood slowly before reaching down for his hand to help him up and lead him over to her bed. He fell back, and she slid up beside him.

"What do you wanna talk about?" she asked in almost a whisper after a long while. He didn't open his eyes, just shook his head lazily from side to side as he said, "literally anything." Sam could tell from the slur in his voice that he wasn't going to be awake much longer, so she laid her head down on his chest and just started talking. At first it was about her first day of kindergarten, and he gave her a few soft noises that made her know he was listening. After jumping from a few more topics, Sam stopped, her head still laying on his chest.

"Josh?" she asked before she looked up at him. "What are you gonna do now that you're home?" He didn't say anything, and she almost wondered if he was sleeping, until he said, "I have a few projects I'm working on…"

"Like what?" she asked quietly.

"You'll see."

In the present, Sam realized that she was dangerously close to crying, and Josh was in the process of cleaning up their mess a bit. She shook the thoughts and even the hint of tears away, trying her best to regain the composure he didn't even know she'd lost. Sam watched as Josh reached into the takeout bag, pulling out two small packages.

"Wanna know your future?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and tossing her a fortune cookie, which she caught quickly. "I bet it's a good one," he added, popping open his own plastic wrapper and pulling out the beige cookie. Sam saw him crack it and pull the slip of paper out, studying it. "Mine says, 'You are a charming, good-looking person who everyone adores-"

"It does not say that," Sam snorted, grabbing the paper from his hands. She looked down at the small, red print: A very attractive person has a message for you.

"Mine was kinda lame. I changed it up a bit," he said coolly. "But, you're a very attractive person. Do you have something you wanna tell me?" he teased. Sam's face must have answered that question as he said, "Right, boundaries, I know." He sighed, shaking his head before her tilted his chin at her. "What does yours say?"

Sam looked down at the cookie in her hand, and she opened it to pull her own piece of paper: Sometimes the right path isn't always the easiest. Go left.

As soon as Sam stepped into her apartment, she felt her phone buzzing in her bag. Cee-Cee was already walking between her legs and demanding to be fed, but Sam took a moment to search through her bag, thinking it was maybe Josh calling her. It was only a few hours since she'd seen him, where once again she was forced to set boundaries, so she wasn't sure why she was hoping it was him calling.

But when she finally found her phone, it was Chris' name that appeared on the screen. She sighed; however, she was feeling guilty about having avoided him since she last saw him. And with Josh not answering his calls either, he probably thought they died.

"Hey, Chris," she answered, pressing the phone to her ear as she grabbed Cee-Cee's kitty food.

"Wait…wait, one of you actually answered?" Was the first thing he said to her, his voice only half joking.

"We thought you two ran off together to get eloped or something!" Sam heard Ashley yell from the background.

Sam chuckled, pouring the cat food into Cee-Cee's bowl, "Um, no. That's probably the furthest thing from the truth."

"Why haven't you been returning any of our calls then?" Chris asked bluntly.

She sucked in a deep breath, "Well, I can't speak for Josh, but I…had a lot going on. I broke up with Liam and—."

"Oh my God, so you are with Josh now?" Ashley spoke up again, her voice much louder this time, so Sam knew she was on speakerphone.

"No, Josh had—nothing to do with this…" she lied, and knew Ashley and Chris knew she was lying as well, "I, um…I found out Liam was cheating on me."

"What a jerk!" Ashley screeched, and then Sam heard Elizabeth's voice in the background sing-songing 'jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk!"

"Wow, Sam, we're really sorry to hear that. Good thing you found out now before you married him though," Chris offered, and it made Sam smile and recall the day of Josh's funeral when Chris offered her words of support.

"How did you find out?" Ashley asked, and Sam heard Chris chastise her for asking, followed by Ash asking him lowly, "What? She probably wants someone to talk to about it…"

And Sam appreciated the thought, but she did not want to tell them about what Josh did to Liam. She knew they wouldn't go to the police with the information, but she thought it best to just keep the mishap between herself and Josh. Plus, she didn't want to bring up any bad memories for Chris and Ashley. Josh put them through almost the exact same thing he put Liam through, and she didn't want them concerned with Josh's mental health.

"I just…I caught him. I came home and saw him with another girl, that's all."

"That's awful," Ashley said, "So does Josh know?"

"Yeah…well, I mean, Elliot knows…" Sam answered, plopping down hard on her couch.

"You just need to tell him the truth," Ashley said, as if it were that easy.

"How's the pregnancy going?" Sam switched gears so she wouldn't have to talk about what was going on with the whole Elliot/Josh situation, because she knew if she started down that rabbit hole, she would end up eventually telling them everything.

Thankfully, Ashley fell for it, "Ugh, tiresome—I still have three weeks left. I look like a hot air balloon."

"No, you don't, baby," Chris offered, "You look just as beautiful as when you were nine months pregnant with Lizzie."

Sam smiled to herself as the couple went into a little lovers back and forth of I'm ugly/No you're not, and it reminded her of all the times Josh would always try to cheer her up every time she was down. It made her want to call him, just so she could hear his voice, even though she knew she'd be going against her own boundaries.

"When are you gonna pop out some kids, Sam?" Ashley asked suddenly, throwing Sam for a loop.

Despite the seriousness in Ashley's voice, Sam laughed, "Umm, not anytime soon? When would I have the opportunity to pop out some kids?"

"Well, Josh might remember who he is soon and…"

"Ash…I don't think she wants to talk about that," Chris cut in, then all three of them got silent for a moment.

Then: "Tell Sam I want to see Elliot again!" Elizabeth screamed from the not-so-far background this time, her tone quite demanding.

Sam covered her laughter with her hand when Ashley told Chris, "Of course your daughter would have a crush on your best friend…"

"She has good taste," Sam couldn't help but chime in, feeling her face redden despite being in her home by herself.

Thankfully, Chris and Ashley just laughed at her comment. Then Ashley screamed, "No, don't draw on that!"

"Oh, no, everything okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, Ashley's got her—do you need any help, babe? No…? Are you…" Lizzie's death shrill made even Sam's ears hurt as she pulled her phone away from her ear. Then there was a lot of commotion Sam couldn't quite place, and then sudden silence as Chris came back on the line, "Sorry about that."

"Oh, it's okay…" Sam said, even though she wasn't sure if it was. She prayed that Chris and Ashley never asked her to babysit.

"Anyway…is there anything you wanted to talk about? About—Josh?" Chris asked, and it made her wonder if he knew more than he was letting on somehow.

"Um…no? I mean…things are still the same…I'm still trying to get him to remember who he is," Sam said, making sure she stayed away from the full truth without lying.

Chris sighed, "I know…and I know that's hard but…Sam, when you guys were here, the only reason he wasn't making bigger moves on you was because you were engaged…and—quite honestly, that didn't even stop you from—."

"I know, Chris," Sam stopped him, her hand covering her eyes because he was talking about the very night that she began to slip and let her feelings for him cloud her professional judgement.

"Yeah, but…he said something to me that night that really got to me—he said, 'I feel like I've been waiting all my life to meet her.' And—Sam, you've been waiting just as long as he has, and you guys are two of my best friends…even if he is Elliot right now, and it would just suck to see you guys skating around each other this late in life when there's no guarantee that—."

"This sounds like the complete opposite of what you were telling me last time," she interrupted, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes upon hearing what Josh said about her that night.

"Well…I had a few weeks to process everything—you know, I still remember when he finally admitted to me that he loved you," Chris all of a sudden switched gears and the topic made Sam's heart flutter, "It was during that time he was dating that goth chick…remember her?"

"Amber…" Sam grumbled out the name, "How could I forget?"

Chris laughed, "Yeah, well…I finally asked him why the hell he was dating her, and he said something strange like: 'I don't know, but I'm in love with Sam.' And I remember freaking out 'cause he finally said it aloud," Chris laughed at the memory, and Sam wanted to laugh with him, but felt frozen in her thoughts.

The night he broke up with Amber was the night he finally kissed her on the rooftop. It was the night that took them to another level, despite that kiss not really changing their status. And they didn't share another kiss until almost a year later, but with them, it wasn't totally necessary. And making love was never about them jumping into bed together; they made love every time their eyes met, or their hands touched, or his arms wrapped around her.

But to think that he confessed to Chris that he was in love with her that night—she imagined that night again, the way he talked to her, teased her, kissed her…it was so very obvious now.

"Anyway," Chris interrupted her thoughts, "I just thought you should know. You guys have always been perfect for each other, and it would just be such a waste to see you guys tiptoe around each other for another decade."

Sam didn't say anything—she didn't know what she could say. She wanted to be with Josh since she was thirteen, she certainly didn't want to wait another ten years until she was forty if she didn't have to either. But Chris said that he needed to go assist Ashley with Elizabeth and that he would talk to her soon before hanging up, leaving Sam with the weight of all he told her.

To Be Continued...