CHAPTER SEVEN

STANDING GROUND

God, how I wanted to tear her head off! I might have actually tried, but everything in me came to a screeching halt when I heard Edward scream.

"Bella! Please! I know you are here! Please! I am losing my mind without you! Please come back! Please!" Edward screamed into the trees.

"He knows I'm here." I said to Ashe.

"No he doesn't, Bella. Our shields keep him from any knowledge that we are here. They block all powers and senses." Ashe said dismissively.

I don't know how, but I felt like she was wrong. Unable to control the shield blocking Edward from seeing me, I called out to Edward with my mind as hard as I could.

"What are you doing?" Ashe laughed.

"If you are right, and he can't hear me, then what does it matter?" I said. I concentrated on Edward, screaming to him with every fiber of my being. His screaming halted and he looked around, disoriented.

"Bella? Bella! I can hear you! Talk to me! Where are you?!" he said frantically.

"It's not possible." whispered Ashe.

"Our roots may be in a dysfunctional teenaged relationship by your standards, but we love each other, more than you could ever know, Ashe. Nothing can keep us apart for long." I said. I stepped toward him but hit the invisible wall again.

Edward turned to where we stood, looking through us, and began to walk forward. "Bella? Talk to me Bella. Where are you?" he whispered as he stood less than a foot from me. He was a mess; disheveled and tattered.

"Ashe, please. Look at him. Let me talk to him. Just let me tell him that I'm okay. If anything happens to him because of me, because of this, I will never forgive myself, and your time will have been wasted. Just let me speak to him." I begged. Before Ashe could answer, Edward spoke again.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I am sorry that you lost your parents. I'm sorry for everything. A part of me wants to say that I am sorry that we ever met. I'm sorry I came into your life and tore you away from the people you love by making you what I am. I want to say that, and yet I can't, because ultimately I am not sorry for that." I felt the chaos in me roar again at his words. He gasped and looked around with eyes that seemed to not be seeing anything.

"I would do it all again tenfold to have you by my side. Maybe that makes me crazy. I'm pretty sure it makes me an awful person. After all of this time, and everything I've done, it would be hard to argue to the contrary. But I want you to know that whether I am awful, or I've lost my mind, I love you. I will never stop loving you. You are strong. I know you are hurting now, but you will endure. We will endure. We will be together again." He groaned and fell to the ground staring up at the sky, exhausted and broken.

I looked to Ashe and something in Edward's words combined with my expression must have struck her because she sighed in frustration, released her grip on Daedra's hand, then said, "Very well, you may speak to him, briefly. But this will be the only time unless you learn to control yourself. Are we clear?" Ashe said.

"Crystal." I said.

They all stepped back and I could feel Ashe release the shield around me. Even if I hadn't felt it, Edward's face would have been confirmation enough. I wanted to throw my arms around him. I wanted to comfort him and take away his pain. But when his eyes met mine, I recalled the last time I had seen him, with Sam's heart in my hand and his body lifeless at my feet. And then I remembered how we got there; because my shield was hurting him and the others. I couldn't control it. Knowing this, I stepped back from him.

Edward stepped forward, and when I backed away again he cried, "Bella! Are you okay? What happened? Why are you with that woman?"

I hadn't realized that Ashe had revealed herself as well. She left the others shielded.

"She is not okay, Edward. She needs my help. Help that you are ill-equipped to provide." Ashe said.

"You did this! Who are you? What do you want with Bella?" Edward demanded as he stepped forward to confront Ashe.

"No." Ashe said, holding up her hand. Edward stopped immediately and seemed surprised that he was doing so. "You cannot help her now."

"I don't understand." Edward said, shifting confused glances between me and Ashe.

"I am broken, Edward. I don't even know how to describe it." I said quietly.

He looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. He looked as if he wanted to reach out, but thought better of it at the last moment.

"You don't have to describe it. I can hear it." Edward said. I was mortified at the thought of what Edward was seeing in my head, but at least Ashe's charm had calmed it. Edward had no clue how bad it really was, and for the first time I was thankful since all of this began.

"As long as she is in this condition, she is a danger to herself and to others." Ashe added.

"Please, Edward, I don't want to hurt you." I pleaded. "I will be okay, but you have to go."

"Bella, I know we started this all wrong. Everything, from day one. We were foolish children, both of us in our own ways. I know we have made mistakes and hurt each other, and for that I am sorry. I'm sorry I could not control myself. I'm sorry I never realized how crazy I was. I'm sorry that I let what I am manipulate you into this life. I'm sorry that I didn't know how to help you when you lost your parents. I am sorry that I ever doubted you. And I am so very sorry that it has come to this." Edward lamented.

His expression changed, and he glared at Ashe. "But what I am not sorry for is loving you. I will not apologize for coming for you. I will never apologize for fighting for you. I love you more than anything in this world. I would cease to exist for you if I had to." He shifted his gaze back to me and his features softened.

"However, one thing I will not do again is stand in the way of you finding your own way. I think we have proven time and again that I cannot help you. I can love you, but I cannot fix you. Just as you cannot fix me. It doesn't work that way, and we need to stop fooling ourselves that it does. No amount of love will make it work that way. You have to find your own path and I have to find mine. Let us hope that those paths find each other again. I love you." he said.

"I love you too, Edward." I managed to say. Edward made a move to comfort me, and Ashe stepped in front of me, blocking Edward.

The two of them stared at each other. I wasn't sure if they were speaking from their minds or if they were just glaring, but eventually Edward looked down at me, nodded, and then left without another word.

"What was that?" I asked.

"None of your concern at the moment." Ashe said as the shield went up around us again. If Edward came back to the clearing, it would be as if we had vanished.

"What did you say to him that made him so upset?" I demanded.

"I told him what he needed to hear." Ashe dismissed. "Now come along. We have work to do."

*******************CHAPTER END*************