Chapter Three
Girls and Boys

The first few days of school passed without much excitement. John was doing his best to become closer friends with Karkat, as well as Vriska and Terezi. It was the next Monday in the cafeteria that John spent with Dave, Jade, and Rose, when he got an idea.
"Hey guys, why don't we sit with Karkat and his friends? I think we've all met at least one of them, right?" John suggested, gauging his friends' reaction. Rose had been glancing towards the table Karkat was sitting at, and Jade smiled at John's suggestion. Dave was the only one who was hard to read, but that was usually the case with him.
"I think that's an excellent idea, John," Rose mused. It was clear she had an ulterior motive, but John was just excited to combine the groups. He stood, with his lunch in his hand, caught Karkat's attention by waving vigorously, and headed over, the other 3 moving a bit slower behind him.
"Hey, Karkat!" John said cheerfully.
Karkat looked disgruntled at John's approach. "I'm sorry, did I fucking invite you to sit here, Egbert?"
"Oh fuck no, you three?" John heard Dave say, gesturing towards Karkat, his juggalo friend, and the kid in the wheelchair. "These are the pricks from my Spanish class."
"Come on, Dave, Karkat isn't so bad!"
"Whatever," Dave muttered, sitting down.
"Hey, I'm Tavros," the boy in the wheelchair said, attempting to shake Dave's hand. Dave took it, even smiling a bit.
"'sup. 'm Dave." John grinned as he sat down next to Karkat. He was glad everyone seemed to start making friends. He found himself sitting across from Vriska. There was something about her that John couldn't quite place. She was abrasive, but oddly charming in a way, and she certainly embraced her unconventional physicality with her own sense of style. By not shying away from it, Vriska seemed to make a prosthetic arm look good. John had half a mind to ask how she got it, but he was too wary about that being intrusive.
John, Rose, Dave and Jade began making a habit of sitting with Karkat and Company™. By mid-October, John reached the point where he considered them friends. John was glad to feel comfortable enough with new people, and he only hoped Jane was having similar luck with other students in her grade. Posters went up for Homecoming within a few weeks, and John began to get a thought. He wasn't sure about the thought, since he still didn't know her that well, but he decided to go for it sometime during biology class. John walked into class early with a grin as he took his seat across from Vriska. It didn't look like Terezi had shown up yet, so John took this as an opportunity.
"Hey, Vriska!" he said, sitting down. "What are you up to?"
Vriska jumped, not having seen John come in. "John! What the hell. First of all, who told you you could just hassle me without warning like this? That's not how this works!"
"Why not?"
"Those are the rules. I get to bug you any time we feel like, and you have to sit there and take it like a chump," Vriska said, smiling her devilish smile. John huffed a bit. "I am too busy to be fielding your nonsense at the drop of a hat. I have a ridiculous number of irons in the fire."
"That's dumb. I'm going to talk to you whenever I want!" John felt himself flush as Vriska grinned, her smile less toothy then. She really was attractive, even more-so when she softened up a bit. "Well, anyway, I… uhm. Have you seen the-!" John stopped, aware that he wasn't making much sense. Vriska's smile had faded, one eyebrow raised in confusion. John took a breath, and prepared to ask again, but as he opened his mouth, Terezi walked into the classroom. He sighed.
John messaged Rose and Dave later that day, looking for some advice.

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: hey dave?
EB: are you planning on asking anyone to homecoming?
TG: why are you
EB: well, yeah
EB: i'm just kind of nervous i guess
TG: who
EB: vriska
TG: vriska?
TG: dont do that dude
TG: shes fucking crazy
EB: yeah right
EB: i think vriska's cool!
EB: but i kinda flaked on asking her earlier
TG: karkles told me shes the one who put tavros in that chair
EB: really?
EB: also pfft karkles?
TG: i mean
TG: i dont know if its true but she does kind of seem the type to be brutally violent
TG: even if it was an accident i wouldnt go near her with a 39 and a half foot pole
TG: and yes it pisses karkat off and i think its kind of funny how angry he gets
EB: hmm
EB: well i'm going to see what rose thinks
TG: shes gonna tell you the same thing
EB: what makes you so sure?
TG: i have known rose lalonde my entire life i know exactly how she operates
EB: whatever, man

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

EB: hey rose
EB: you've been seeing those fliers around school, right?
TT: I presume you're referring to the posters advertising the Homecoming dance.
TT: In which case, yes, I have been seeing them around.
EB: i want your opinion on something
EB: i was going to ask someone to go to the dance with me
TT: If you don't mind me prying, John, may I ask who?
EB: vriska
TT: Really…
EB: yeah but i kind of chickened out
TT: If it's any consolation, John, I find myself in a similar situation.
EB: rose you were gonna ask a boy to homecoming? :O
EB: that's so cool that youre not waiting for someone to ask you
TT: Well, I never was one for gender conformity.
TT: But I haven't been able to muster up the courage yet.
EB: oh man
EB: guess we're in the same boat
TT: You realize you don't have to have a date?
EB: yeah but
EB: i don't really want to go alone to be honest
TT: Well if nothing else, John, I will accompany you to the dance.
EB: rose!
TT: In a strictly platonic sense, of course.
EB: no, i just mean that
EB: what if you end up really wanting to ask this guy?
TT: Crushes come and go, John.
TT: Excuse me for being sappy, but friendships are forever.
EB: aw rose
EB: i guess i will take you up on that offer
EB: i like vriska but she intimidates me a bit
EB: i don't think ill be able to ask her in time
TT: Yes, she does have that effect.

EB: it doesnt matter if you think vriska's crazy
EB: i don't have the nerve to even ask her
TG: were you talking to rose just now
EB: yeah, that's what i said i was going to do
TG: she tell you not to ask spiderbitch?
EB: not exactly
EB: she said she'd go with me instead
TG: really?
TG: huh
EB: is that weird?
TG: yeah a bit
EB: guess you don't know her as well as you thought
TG: shut the fuck up egbert
EB: you never answered me earlier
TG: what
EB: are you asking anybody to homecoming?
TG: i was going to but i doubt theyd say yes
EB: aw dave i'm sure that's not true!
TG: theyre interested in someone else so
TG: pretty sure it is
EB: oh
EB: i'm sorry
TG: no big deal dude
TG: i dont have an issue going by myself
EB: is it terezi?
TG: uh
EB: come on, i see the way you look when she's flirting with karkat
TG: yeah tz is chill
TG: anyway
TG: gotta go

turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

John let a long breath out. He supposed that was one dilemma solved. He felt a little less confused about having a bit of a crush, since it sounded like at least Rose was in that situation as well. It was a bit concerning, what Dave had said about Vriska and Tavros, but John didn't want to pay it much mind. He went downstairs for dinner, sitting down with his dad, Jane, and his uncle, smiling by that point.
"John, what's got you in such high spirits?" Jane asked.
"Oh, I was just talking to Rose and Dave about Homecoming," he said.
"Homecoming?! Ohh… shucks buster! That's soon, isn't it?"
"I think so, it's next weekend, right?"
"Excuse me for a moment!" Jane exclaimed before leaving the room. Just as she was about to open Pesterchum, she received a message.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TG: ALART ALART ARLART AL*ERT AL*ART
TG: hugely important cornespondence
TG: paging doctor crocker
TG: rolal to docrock
GG: Roxy! I was just about to message you.
GG: What is this urgent thing about?
TG: i gotta tell you something u need to know before its too late
GG: Before what's too late?
TG: you and jake hookin up stupid!
GG: You're a mind reader.
TG: this is about turnin all your steamydreamz in to STEAMAY REALTITIES
TG: ***realities lolo
TG: whereins jc + je kiss & hug loads 33,3,33380!
TG: i can't decide whether this mental image porcolating here is hot as shit or cute as fuck
GG: Did you hear something from Dirk, is that why you're messaging me about this?
TG: yah dude!
TG: this is serious you need to tell him how u feel VERY SOON
TG: or you might miss your chance
TG: i found out today taht dirks gonna make a move
GG: A move? You mean a romantic one?
TG: yes
TG: ON JAKE!
GG: Oh. Ohhh.
GG: Poor Dirk!
TG: what do you mean
GG: Well, surely when he reveals his feelings, Jake will…
TG: ?
GG: I mean… he couldn't possibly…
TG: wut
TG: repriprocate?
GG: Yes?
TG: janey if u dont think jake could be gay what have you been worried about this whole time?
GG: Are you saying he is?
TG: im sayin that i dont fuckin know
TG: kid is a goggamn egnigma
TG: if dirk lets on all his feelins there is at least a CHANCE jake will go like DERP OK DUDE LETS MAKE OUT
TG: and that means poor jane is screwed without ever even throwing her filthy old fedora in the ring
TG: it is a ring i lke ot call TEH ENGLISH SPEEPSTAKES
TG: and if u dont youll regret it
TG: and i mean
TG: OFFICIALLY?
TG: i cant have a horse in the race
TG: wait bad metaphor ebcause of dirk and his fuckin horstes n/m
TG: like you are both my friends and im not out to mess him up or anything
TG: but i kinda owe it to you as my friend to let you know whats up
TG: and also to get you to stop being such a WORLD CHAMPION TIGHTASS
TG: and let jake know
GG: Oh, not this tightass baloney again.
TG: jane
GG: What?
TG: jaane..
GG: ..
TG: jc your are the tightassiest tightass who ever tightened up an ass
GG: No way!
GG: So ridiculous. :P
TG: im not sayin be an idiot and start gushin at him incoherentry
TG: but do SOMETHING
TG: say how u feel
TG: or flirst a bit or such
TG: goddamn ANYTHING other that a bunch of bullshitty pining and tightassy NOTHING
GG: Fine.
GG: Just…
GG: I need to think of what to say and wait for the right moment.
TG: just dont wait too long
TG: and dont underestimate striders wiles
TG: nor jakes…
TG: lets say
TG: open mindedness?
GG: Well,
GG: He does often profess his love for adventure, I suppose.
GG: OMG.
GG: I really don't have a moment to spare, do I?
TG: ur finally gettin it.
TG: now go

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

Jane nervously put her phone away and returned to the dinner table, already thinking about how appropriately to ask Jake out. She did make one promise to herself; that she would do it the next day, when they were in class together. They both had a tendency to show up early, and that would make things invariably easier.

Jane sat down next to Jake in Statistics, giving him a small smile as she did so.

"Aloha, madame!" Jake said, grinning.
"Good morning, Jake!" Jane said, trying her best to not appear nervous. "Glad to see you; there was something I wanted to talk to you about."
"Yes, I have heard that maybe your correspondence was forthcoming."
"You did?"
"Roxy messaged me last night."
"Wait...what did she tell you?" Jane said, feeling her heartbeat accelerate.
"Nothing specific. But… I will not be deterred here, Jane!"
"Deterred from what?"
Jake took a small breath. "Jane, I think it's time we had an honest to goodness dame to fella talk. Like about our...stuff. You know?"
"Our stuff?"
"Our feelings. Like how we feel about each other."
Jane bit her lip, attempting not to give in to her sudden spurt of panic. No, this was good. She didn't have to bring it up. She could put all her feelings out there. "Um...Yes. Okay."
Jake seemed nervous as well. Was that a good sign? He wouldn't be nervous if there was no affection there. Jane took it as a good sign. "I don't think I'm out of line in suggesting we've been tiptoeing around some things here, do you?"
"Have we?" Jane asked, admittedly playing dumb a little bit.
"I think so… it's just a hunch."
"Is there something you want to say to me, Jake? About how you feel?"
"Absolutely! I feel that total honesty between us will be the best policy as we begin our journey together." Oh God, what kind of journey was he talking about? "So I say let's put all the facts on the table where we both can see them. With that in mind, I would like to ask you a question, Jane, and I hope it doesn't strike you as being too forward."
"Er… go on."
"Maybe it's just my imagination, but I've picked up on certain… let's say hints. So I have to just come out and ask. Hoo boy, this is actually proving to be a serious challenge to my bravery now that I'm going through with it. I'm getting a little hot under the collar here!" Jake tugged on his shirt collar a bit, emphasizing his point. Jane wanted to urge him forward, but didn't want to come off as pushy, either.
"No, it's okay… please continue!"
"Um. Okay, then. What I'd like to know is… do you like me, Jane?" Jane was blushing furiously at that point, as was Jake. His embarrassment in having to ask was clear. "Do you like me as more than a friend? Do you envision us as, like… an item? A romantic pairing of sorts?"
"Wow. Um…" Jane had known it was coming, but couldn't wrap her head around the answer.
"Is that the direction in which you would prefer our relationship to progress?"
"Well, I…" Jane's voice trailed off.
"Please!" Jake pleaded. He glanced around, and Jane hoped the other students wouldn't start arriving quite yet. "Be honest with me, Jane. Just come out and say it. Do you fancy me?"
"No!" she blurted, immediately covering her mouth. What the fuck was that?
"I see. Very well, then. Jeez, I must've really misread that one!" Jake looked incredibly embarrassed, and Jane was sure she did as well, but Jake was so accepting of what he assumed was the truth that she didn't want to have the conversation anymore. Jake smiled a friendly smile and turned towards the front of class as their teacher entered. Jane bit her lip, then hid her face in her textbook.

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

GG: That's it, Rox.
GG: I blew it.
TG: wut
GG: I'll have to call you later.
TG: ye im in class rn but we'll have the chatsies 2niet

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

Jane sighed. She only hoped, for John's sake, that he would have better luck than she did.

Feferi was the one who brought up the topic of Homecoming first.
"Boys, who're you all gonna ask? Or have you already?" John drew a sharp breath, his eyes darting over to Vriska for no more than a second. None of the boys wanted to answer, avoiding the question until Gamzee spoke.
"I ain't asking nobody, gonna go with my motherfuckin' self and have a good time," he said. Why was he always high?

"O-oh," Feferi answered. "Um, what about you, Karkat?"

"Don't put me on the spot!" Karkat snipped. John saw Karkat glance at Terezi, and felt bad for Dave. "What about you, princess? Who are you going with?"

"Oh, I already told Eridan I would go with him," she said, smile ever-present.

"Not worth the time," Vriska sneered. "He's such a fucking pain; I can't believe I ever dated him." Vriska had dated Eridan? John mentally stored that information away.

"Because you were so fuckin' peachy, right, Vris?!" Eridan shouted.

"Eridan, hush," Feferi said. "He's not so bad. Anyway...what about you, John?"

"I, uh..." John fumbled with his words a bit, not having expected to be called out. Rose smiled and shook his head at him.

"John and I will be attending together. He never got the nerve up to ask anyone, and neither did I," Rose said. John lightly smiled at her, grateful she'd stepped in to answer.
"'s cool, bro," Dave said, leaning back in his chair. "I wasn't gonna ask anyone to be my date either. I'm with Gamzee on that one."

"Yeahhhh," Gamzee slurred, fist-bumping Dave across the table.

"As much fun as a date would be, I thought we could all just go as friends!" Jade said, her typical optimism showing through. "But I'm still curious; who would you ask, Tavros?"

Tavros blushed, eyes widening at the sudden shift in attention. "Uhm... I was going to ask... um... this girl, from English class. Uh, how about you, Equius?" John was glad they were going around the table in such a way. He'd been hanging out with the group a lot, but didn't know many of the other kids individually very well.

"I was... going to ask someone. But, if she says no I will go with Nepeta."

"You butt! I'm your second choice?" Nepeta pouted.

"I believed that was our arrangement..." Equius murmured.

"Naw, it is. I'm just teasing." John cracked a smile at Nepeta and enjoyed the rest of lunch with his friends.