I started decorating the nursery once we found out it was a boy. J didn't want anything to do with it so I got to make all the decisions myself. The idea of having a baby began to grow on me the past few months and the second I felt him kick I knew I was in love. J healed completely a week after his fight and had begun plotting his revenge on Penguin who he had figured out squealed on him to bat-brain. He didn't tell me what his plan was but he told me it went perfectly; I later say on the news that there had been a "kitchen accident" at the Iceberg Lounge and the building had all but burned down. Since his plans had gone perfectly, J started to spend more time with me. We would spend hours in bed, goofing off or just holding each other. He still went down to the club every night, but he spent his days with me.

"You know he needs a name Puddin." I said one afternoon.

"Then pick one." He growled.

"He's your son too." I croaked out. "You could pretend to be happy."

J let out a sigh before turning me over so I could look at him.

"Harley, I told you before that I don't mind an heir, I just don't want anything to do with it now, that is your job," he told me, "but if it'll shut you up I'll tell you if I like the name or not."

"Thank you Pud!" I cried as I threw my arms around him.

"This can't be comfortable for you Pumpkin." J said.

He was right, as of lately my belly was getting in the way; it was huge! Cece said it looked so big because of my petite frame but I knew she was just saying that to make me feel better.

"I'm a whale." I said with a frown.

"I like it." J told me, kissing my neck. "I like seeing you swollen with my heir, it shows everyone that you are mine."

"I made some cookies for you boys." I sang as I placed a plate of cookies down.

J had a meeting downstairs at the club about some renovations and I decided to play wife and surprise him with a treat. J had said that I was allowed to come downstairs as long as the club was closed and he was there.

"Thank you, Miss Harley." Rocco said.

"Isn't she a peach?" J said as he pinched my cheek.

"I know you boys can work for hours without eating and I didn't want you starving to death on my watch." I told them.

I sat on the couch quietly sipping on an iced tea while J continued his meeting. I had begun to nod off when I was roughly pulled down to the ground by J. He held me close as hundreds of bullets flew by us. I held onto my belly, hoping the shooting would stop soon.

"Send men out!" J barked at someone.

Some of the boys that were down here were shooting back.

"It's a drive by Boss." I heard Johnny shout.

I started to cry and J tightened his arms around me.

"No tears Harls." He whispered in my ear.

When he was sure the shooting was done, he had Rocco and Johnny get us upstairs safely. I felt an odd feeling in my groin and let out a gasp as my water broke in the elevator.

"No, it's too early, I still have two months!" I cried.

"Call the doctor here now!" J ordered.

"It's too early, it's too early." I chanted.

J grabbed my face so that I was staring into his eyes, "Pumpkin I need you to stay calm. I know I've never said that before but I need you to stay calm Harley."

I nodded, unable to speak as a contraction hit me. J let me squeeze his hand as I waited for the pain to pass. When we got up to the penthouse J and Johnny took me to the bedroom and helped me change out of my wet clothes.

"I don't want to get in the bed, I'll ruin the sheets." I cried.

"I'll get new sheets Harley." Johnny told me.

"Where's the doctor?" J asked irritably.

"I'm here, it's a mess out there." Cece said, running in. "How are you feeling Harley?"

"It's too early." I cried.

"I know sweetie." Cece said soothingly. "You're four centimeters dilated; I'm going to do an ultrasound to try to figure out what is going on."

I held J's hand in a death grip as I looked at my son on the screen but something was wrong.

"Where is his heartbeat?" J asked Cece.

"I am so sorry but there is no heartbeat, he's stillborn." She told us.

Time seemed to stop; my chest felt tight as I let out a heart-wrenching scream. I could feel J trying to comfort me but I didn't care, my baby was dead.

"Why?" I heard J ask.

"I don't know. It could have been stress, it could have been the acid, it's hard to tell right now." Cece replied. "Harley, if you want we can do a C-section. I know a birthing center not too far from he with the equipment, you have plenty of time."

"No. I am giving birth here." I choked out.

"Then at least let me give you something for the pain." She said.

"No!" I shouted.

"Out." J told her.

"I'll be back in a little bit to check on you." She replied.

J didn't say anything, he just held me in his arms as I cried. I knew he never wanted this baby but I could tell he was hurting too.

"Ooh." I moaned as I felt another contraction hit.

"Doctor." J barked.

"Contraction?" Cece asked as she came back in with some water. "Here honey, you need to stay hydrated."

"How much longer?" J asked her.

"I can't tell you anytime for sure. She's not even half-way dilated so it is going to be awhile." She told him. "Why don't I run you a bath Harley? It'll help with the pain."

I nodded my head as I snuggled into the pillow. J had taken up pacing while Cece filled the tub so I had the bed to myself.

"It's all my fault." I mumbled.

"Don't Harls, don't blame yourself. If you want to blame someone blame Penguin, he's the one that shot up the club with you in it." J told me.

"I should have stayed up here." I replied.

"The bath is ready." Cece said.

J helped me up and into the bathroom. Cece checked to make sure I was comfortable before leaving me and J alone.

"Can you come in with me?" I asked him.

He let out a tired sigh and did as I asked; I lied back against him for hours, squeezing his hands as my contractions got worse. Cece stayed in the bathroom with us, coaching me and refilling the tub when the water got cold. When it was time to push J and Cece helped get me comfortable in bed.

"Okay Harley, when you feel the next contraction I am going to need you to take a deep breath and push as hard as you can." Cece instructed me.

I did as I was told, screaming through the pain. I squeezed J's hand as hard as I could, feeling it brake; he didn't even wince.

"I'm so sorry Puddin." I cried.

"Sh Pumpkin, it doesn't hurt." He told me, kissing my sweaty forehead.

It felt like I was pushing forever and I was about ready to give up when Cece told me he was close.

"His head is out Harley, I just need you to give me one more big push." She told me.

"I can't." I cried. "It hurts."

"Harley, I've seen you take down men three times your size. You can do this Pumpkin, you've made it this far." J told me.

I mustered up all the strength I had left and gave on final push. When he was born, there was no crying, just silence. Cece cleaned him up before placing him in my arms.

"I just want to let you know that he doesn't look like a normal full-term baby." She warned us.

"He's beautiful." I said as I gazed at my son.

"I'm so proud of you kiddo." J told me.

"I want to name him Joker Junior, J.J. for short." I told him.

"Have you thought of any burial plans?" Cece asked us.

"Give us a minute." J told her.

She helped me deliver the placenta before leaving the room; I had let J hold the baby for a bit. It was crazy but I was already so attached to my son.

"He would've been a handsome boy." J tells me, placing J.J. in my arms.

"I think he's perfect." I said softly. "I failed as a mother, I was supposed to protect him and I couldn't."

"I failed too Harley. I should have taken you to a safe house the second we found out but I didn't. What's done is done and there is nothing we can do about it." J told me.

"I want him buried next to my grandmother in Brooklyn. She was the only one that loved me." I told him.

J called Cece in and relayed what I told him.

"Harley, the more time you spend with him the harder it'll be to let go." Cece told me. "I've already spoken to a mortician who will get his body ready. You can pick out an outfit to bury him in."

I didn't want to hand him over, I wanted to hold him in my arms forever, but I could hear Harleen in the back of my mind. I gave J.J. one last kiss before handing him to J.

"Good-bye son." He said.

Cece took J.J. and left before I could change my mind and take him back.