Chapter Fourteen: Two on the Mantle, One in the Ground

John immediately felt the color run out of his face as Karkat ran off with Nepeta. It was a sick lump in his gut, an oh-so-familiar feeling that was suddenly weighing him down. Once again, the world was muted, but rather than excited shock, John felt numb and almost static as he moved. He wasn't even aware of exactly what came out of his mouth, only that he called his father and asked to come home.
John knew why he was impacted so much. He never met Karkat's dad, but he'd heard about him (everyone in town heard about Solomon Vantas), and the very idea of having a parent in the hospital was enough to make John reel. He knew exactly what Karkat was feeling. John barely noticed Jane's eyes on him as he slunk through the front door behind his dad and dropped his butt onto the couch. His gaze was fixed forward and unfocused and he was absolutely emotionally exhausted.
"John, are you feeling okay?" Jane asked, scooting out of the kitchen a bit. John groaned, collapsing even further onto the couch. His legs were sprawled across the entire couch as he buried his head into the pillow. "What's wrong?" Another muffled groan, and then John shifted the pillow, uncovering only his mouth.
"Karkat's dad is in the hospital," John murmured. Jane immediately knew what was happening. John's sympathy center was overheating, in a sense. She moved towards the couch, pushed John's legs off, and sat down next to him. John immediately leaned into his cousin, and she wrapped his arm around her in a sort of half-hug. "I feel so gross about it," John said. "I don't know what to do, Jane."
"I know, John…" Jane muttered, cooing at him. She began to hum a bit, rocking back and forth with John. "I know you know how this feels."
"You do too," John muttered, but he was letting himself relax. Jane was so naturally motherly that it almost made up for not having a mom around. Almost. "You knew your mom better than I knew mine." John laid down in Jane's lap, and she began running
"Well… yeah. I was 12, though."
"Can you tell me about her?"
"About my mom?" Jane clarified.
"About them in general, I don't know," John said. "They were friends, weren't they?"

"Yeah. They were friends. Um…" Jane got a bit uncomfortable, shifting a bit on the couch. "Hang on," she muttered, standing up for a moment. John lifted his head to let her up, then plopped back onto the couch. Jane re-entered the room a moment later, both their fathers following her.
"John," his father said, settling into the armchair opposite John. John sat up, letting Jane back onto the couch. "You want to hear about your mother?"
John nodded. "I don't… remember much about her."
"Well… what do you want to know?"
"Um…well how did you meet? I don't think you ever told me." John fidgeted. He only had flashes of memories of her. For most of what he could recall, John had just lived with Jane and his dad and his uncle, but there were bits and pieces of before, when his mother and his aunt had been around. John sank onto Jane's lap again as his father cleared his throat.
"We met, uh, in college. I was working in a bakery and she came in with a cake order." John snickered. Of course his parents would have bonded over baked goods. "I gave her the information card to fill out with what she wanted it to say."
"What did it say?" John asked. His father chuckled and smiled.
"'Sorry I ran you over with your own vehicle.'"
"Pfft, what?"

"That was pretty much my reaction, too. I read the car a few times, then looked back at her.
'It's a long story!' she said. 'I just really owe my roommate an apology.
'I'm curious as to what the story is.'
She laughed. 'Maybe I can tell you sometime. You've got my number.' And the rest… is pretty much history." John watched his dad's eyes pan over to the mantle, over which hung a picture of the whole family; John's dad crouching next to John's mother in a hospital bed, holding John as a baby. Jane's dad stood behind John's dad, with the 3-year-old Jane and her mother standing off to the side a bit. John had always thought it was an odd picture to have framed in the living room, but it was the only picture of all 6 of them. In front of it, on top of the mantle, were two urns. Again, a bit morbid to have out in the living room.
"Do you remember what happened?" Jane asked John, looking down at him. There was something piercing about the question, despite the gentle nature in which it was asked.
"Kind of," John answered, his voice quiet. "Some freak car accident?" Nobody said anything for a moment, letting the quiet settle. John knew what Karkat was feeling because he'd felt it himself. He remembered very clearly, despite only being about 9 when both his and Jane's mother wound up in the hospital after a gnarly crash. How could someone forget that? John always thought that maybe if he suppressed it, he wouldn't have to remember. He hated remembering; he hated that that was one of his only clear memories of his mother. All that was clear was that one day, when he'd lost his mother. Jane had lost hers, too, but she remembered them better. That wasn't all she had left.
John huffed, pushing back tears as he stood from the couch. "I don't want to talk about this anymore," he muttered, starting to walk down the hallway.
"John!" Jane called after him, but he didn't so much as turn around.

John was balled up in his blankets when someone knocked on his door. He shifted a bit, trying to look a bit less baby-ish when the door swung open, revealing Jade standing on the other side.
"Jade, what're you—"
"A little birdie told me you were upset," she chirped, green eyes bright in the dim evening light.
"Jane messaged Jake, didn't she?"
"Maybe. Anyway, we're gonna watch your favorite."
"Con Air?"
 "Yup!"
"Hell yeah."

John felt mildly better after watching the movie with Jade. It was amazing what a good movie and a good friend could do for someone, but he still couldn't help but dwell on the events of the day, and hope that everything would turn out alright for Karkat.

Everything did not turn out alright for Karkat, as John would find out shortly by means of Pesterchum memo.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] has started memo: FUCK

CG: Hey everyone.
CG: So…
CG: Bad news…
CG: My dad…he…
CG: Didn't make it.
cuttlefishCuller [CC] responded to memo
CC: Karkat, I'm so sorry!
turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo
TG: fucking blows dude
CG: Don't be sarcastic, Strider.
TG: im not
TG: it may shock you to know that i am in fact
TG: capable of sincerity
TG: give me the benefit of the doubt dude
TG: instead of hopping all over me the minute i open my mouth
TG: all up in my business like youre trying to hop on my dick
CG: GROSS, fuck off.
TG: nah man the fuck is on
TG: your sympathy fuck i mean
TG: looking for one?
twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo
TA: wouldn't put it past him
TG: haha nice one man
CG: You FUCKERS!
CG: Stop ganging up on me, it's seriously not cool.
CG: I'm having an honest to God crisis.
arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to memo
AG: Honestly, Karkat, when aren't you having a crisis?
CG: UUUUGH forget it.
CG: Why did I think I could talk to you assholes?
ectoBiologist [EB] responded to memo
EB: guys, come on
EB: karkat just lost someone important to him.
EB: i don't think it's the time for dick jokes.
TG: what are you like his boyfriend or something?

John just about jumped out of his seat. A joke in private was one thing, but Dave just said that at a wildly inappropriate time in a chat including all of their friends, PLUS, Dave was way closer to being Karkat's boyfriend than John was. Dave's sense of humor was hard to pin down. He took pleasure in fucking with people, and his level of sarcasm and irony was said with the same tone as things he said sincerely. John could only tell when Dave was being serious after knowing him for years; it was pretty much impossible for most people to tell when he was joking. The lack of punctuation in his typing style had the same effect, as if text wasn't hard to decipher already. John just typed the first thing that came to mind.

EB: dave, no.
EB: i'm not…
EB: i'm straight, dave.
TG: sure
TG: youre about as straight as i am
TG: but sure

Infuriating.

CG: Egbert, PLEASE. I DON'T need your fucking help.
CG: Strider, SHUT UP.
AG: Soooooooo
AG: What exactly was the point of this group chat?
AG: Half of us aren't even online right now.
TA: man i wish i wasn't
CG: I was trying to get to that.
CG: I could honestly really use some moral support right now.
CG: So you're all invited to the funeral.
CG: Not that any of you will actually show up.
CG: Now leave me alone.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now an idle chum!

Ugh. Everything about the situation was shit. John quelled off his queasiness about Karkat's dad by dealing with his frustration with Dave first.

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: dude can you like
EB: stop making gay jokes about me?
EB: especially in group chats!
TG: lol are you worred itll give vris the wrong idea
EB: no
TG: then whats the big deal
TG: its all in good fun im just giving you shit
EB: because i'm not gay!
TG: you never know
TG: were still young
EB: look, just because you're waffling over your sexuality doesn't mean we all are
TG: im not waffling over anything
EB: then how come you won't just call karkat your boyfriend?
TG: that has nothing to do with anything
TG: what the fuck do you even know
EB: i think you're afraid
TG: bullshit
TG: why are you making it out to be a bad thing anywat
TG: theres nothing wrong with being gay
EB: you know i know that
EB: but i'm not gay
EB: maybe you thought i was at one point or even wish i am but i'm not
TG: whoa
TG: low blow dude
TG: i told you a secret in confidence
TG: not so you could use it against me in a bullshit argument
TG: whatever this is so fucking stupid
TG: cant handle a joke
EB: why're you such a pain in the ass?
TG: cause i top

turntechGodhead [TG] is now offline!

EB: wow

ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

EB: your cousin is a total jackass

ectoBiologist [EB] is now offline!

John didn't speak to Dave, or really to anyone, until the funeral that Friday. He stuck to Jade's side, while Dave was at Karkat's and Rose was at Kanaya's. Nepeta, Feferi, Terezi, Aradia and Sollux were there, too, sitting at various spots in the crowd, as well as someone who looked vaguely similar to Eridan sitting next to who John could only assume was Karkat's brother. John sat and listened, but was in his own thoughts as the pastor spoke, and as Nepeta's mom (he thought) spoke, and then Karkat's brother. Okay, so maybe he shouldn't have blown up on Dave like that. He was being a little harsh. He could have just said that the jokes made him uncomfortable. Dave should have respected that, sure, but John knew he was in the wrong too.
John approached Karkat and Dave after all the speakers were finished, only pausing to wonder if Dave had said anything to Karkat.
"Hey," John said, placing a hand on Karkat's shoulder. Karkat frowned, but it wasn't a typical Karkat scowl, it was a sullen frown. He looked down. John didn't know what to say. There was probably nothing he could say, so instead he pulled Karkat into a hug. He could tell Karkat resisted at first—Karkat would resist at first—but eventually accepted it, only letting go after a few minutes.

"Are you, uh, coming to the reception?" Karkat asked.
"Um… no, sorry. Jade and I have to catch the bus home," John answered.
Karkat didn't say anything, but his disappointment was clear. "Oh. That's fine," he muttered, taking a passing glance at Dave before making his way back over to his brother and Nepeta. John looked at Dave for a moment, too, neither of them saying anything for a moment.
"Sorry about—"
"Dave, I'm—"
They both spoke simultaneously, then paused for a moment, looked at each other from behind their respective glasses, then cracked a smile. "Sorry, Dave," John said. "It was a dick move for me to… to bring that up in an argument."
"Yeah, but I was being a douche. You were trying to tell me something and I disregarded it."
"Don't even worry about it. It was a stupid fight." John was relieved they'd made up so quickly. "Shouldn't you be going with Karkat?"
"Man… he's moody as fuck right now."
"Of course he is, dude! His dad just died!" John said. Man, Dave was really shit at this. He didn't respond right away. "Dave… Karkat needs you. What is even going on with you two?"
"I don't know… maybe you were right about me being scared. I've never… really dated anyone. Like, yeah, I'm charming as shit but I've never gotten this far, and I guess… I don't know. It's kind of emasculating for me to be with another guy."
"Is that what this whole mess has been about?"
"I mean… yeah. There was this whole shit with Terezi, too, and Karkles got all jealous but it was just… she was going through some shit she confided in me and I couldn't tell Karkat what was really going on. He's probably… over that by now. But, yeah, all that stuff Bro used to tell me about being a man and… whatever… it's still stuck in my head. It's really fucking with me."
"Oh man. Dave, if you care about Karkat you should just be with him already. Who cares? It's not like you have to become that gay stereotype and act all effeminate. Gender roles are bullshit anyway." Dave didn't say anything, leaning against a chair and looking at the grass. "At the very least, just talk to him. He's probably been freaking the fuck out. You know how that kid is with romance."
"Yeah… I guess I will. Maybe he and I can finally set the record straight. In a manner of speaking. Sorry I got all bent out of shape about it the other day."
"Like I said, don't worry about it."
"You're actually a hella good wingman."
"Fuck, if you say so," John said with a laugh. He looked up at the sky. For once, it didn't rain at the funeral.