Author: Feather (Flightf)

Warnings: Spoilers all the way through Twelve Sharp.

Disclaimers: I own nothing…JE owns it all….I will return everything when I am finished. I am basing the strip aerobics on two programs Shelia Kelly's the S Factor and Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease.

Rating (K-M) M

A/N: This is the 1st story in my Pole Dancers Diary Series. Reviews and comments always welcome.

Chapter 5: The Message

Ranger's POV

"Yo."

"Boss Man, we have a situation." Lester's voice was filled with amusement. I wonder what could be going on that I didn't already know about. I hoped for his sake that this was not a joke; I haven't had any sleep in 20 hours and I'm more apt at this point to choke him half to death for his regular practical jokes. But just to be on the safe side I went to my closet to retrieve my weapons out of the safe. Better to be safe- than sorry.

"Meet me in my office in ten." I flipped the phone shut and slid it onto my belt. I clicked the remote to call up the elevator and hit the 5 button. As I walked into my office, I Lester was already sitting at my desk like he owned it with a smirk on his face.

I shot him a look and shoved his feet off my desk, "Lester, if this is a joke-"

"I swear, man, this isn't a joke. Just listen," he said, trying to keep from laughing while he corrected himself in my chair. He picked up his cell and dialed a number then turned on the speaker, setting the phone on the desk. My heart stopped at the voice of my babe filled the room.

Lester? It's Stephanie Plum... I have a little problem that I need your help with. Ugh, but you can't tell anyone…. Ah …do you know what's more painful: a broken leg or getting shot in the foot? I'm a bit of a baby and I need to be able to call it an accident. Oh well, you can help me decide when you get here. I mean, I'll need some help. If you could call me when you get this message I would appreciate it. Thanks! Um, Bye! Oh! And make sure you don't tell Ranger or Tank. Call me! I'm desperate.

What the hell was going on? I saw her leaving the office today and nothing was wrong. I know she doesn't have any dangerous skips. I've learned to keep tabs on who Vinnie gives her- the rat. Morelli was away on business. What was going on with Steph…? And more importantly, why does she want Lester instead of me?

I gave Lester a sideways look, eyes narrowed and studied him. I'd kill him slowly, I decided. Maybe break his fingers one by one first for putting his hands on her-

"Uhhh…Ranger….Ranger…RANGER…."

"Santos?" I said, realizing that I had been completely unaware of my surroundings. Only my Babe had that effect on me.

"I've been trying to get your attention for the past few minutes. What do you want me to do about the call?" He asked putting his phone away.

"I'll take care of it."

"But she told me not to tell you. Maybe, I should handle it with you in the background. I don't want the Bombshell not trusting me. Hell, I debated on whether to tell you or not for over an hour."

An hour? I thought my head was going to explode.

"AN HOUR? Have I not made myself clear?" I said my eyes narrowing at him.

"Man, you heard her message. By telling you I'm doing the opposite of what she's asking me to do. Next time I guard her, I need her to trust me, to listen to me. The only reason I told you was because you know her best and I wanted your advice on how to handle the call. Because I like Steph and everything, but I'm not going to break her leg or shoot her in the foot. I do value my own life," Lester said, standing up and running his hands through his hair.

"I'll take care of this problem. As for knowing Stephanie better than anyone else, that's why I'm going to take care of the problem because if there's one thing I know about Stephanie Plum it's to expect anything. And she makes the best-laid plans go the FUBAR." I said, my tone assertive, knowing that Santos wouldn't push his luck.

I turned and walked out the door, I needed to get some sleep. Stephanie was obviously drunk, so she would need the cure in the morning. I'd stop by and see her then. But as the elevator doors opened at the 7th floor, I had a sudden change of heart and hit the button for the garage; I needed to check on my Babe.