A/N: Sorry for the slight delay in posting Chapter 12 (the internet would not cooperate) but here it is! These last few chapters are shorter, and mostly conversation. When there's a lot of science or snark involved I have no difficulty writing entire monologues, especially for characters like McKay. Ronon is mostly grunting or a few succinct words. But writing angsty, feeling-filled speech, especially for everyone's favourite super-awkward Colonel was hard. Case in point:

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Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Look, Teyla... I'm not really good at, uh... actually, I'm... I'm terrible at expressing... I don't know what you'd call it, uh...

Teyla Emmagan: Feelings?

(Season 3, Episode 4 "Sateda")

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I hope I managed to do the original character justice, while developing Casey as a character even further. I apologise in advance for the distinct lack of Lorne in this chapter. He's trying to be quiet back there in the passageway.

In this chapter: awkwardness, sports analogies, lessons in xenobiology and chocolate.

Imperītia (Noun, [im-peh-ree-tee-ah]): mortification; uneasiness; discomfiture; awkwardness; uncomfortable.

"Expecting Evan, were you?"

It seemed like a safe and friendly conversation opener.

Sheppard was silent for a few moments before finally easing up on his impersonation of a statue.

"Yeah." he replied with a casual shrug.

Oh boy, she was really going to have to drag words out of him.

"Well, sorry to disappoint," she remarked dryly. "I'm not as awesome as he is, but I assure you I'm definitely prettier."

That got more of the reaction that she had been looking for. Sheppard snorted almost silently, his shoulders jerking. A wry grin made an appearance. "I won't tell him you said that. Might hurt his feelings."

"I doubt it. He knows I'm prettier." she shrugged as well. "Don't tell him about the awesome part, though. I'll deny it." Sheppard inclined his head in agreement, but didn't say anything else.

"So, what brings you out to this beautiful little hideaway in the middle of the night?" And how the hell had he even found the cave-room on his own? She would have to go there, eventually, but there was no reason to get serious straight away. Keep it light, she thought to herself. Unfortunately Sheppard didn't have the same idea, or perhaps he just wasn't inclined to waste her time on friendly banter.

"Why are you here?" he threw back at her. "This is the last place on Atlantis you should ever have to set foot in again, and I'm the last person you should ever want to come hunting for in the middle of the night."

"Why is that?" she boldly ventured. Sheppard looked at her then, his eyes a mixture of confusion and anger and something else she couldn't quite name. She shrugged at him. "If you're going to come out here to beat yourself up over me, then I figure I've at least earned the right to a ringside seat."

Sheppard blinked at that, obviously not expecting either the sports analogy or her insinuation that she was there to watch him suffer. Maybe both.

"I also think I've earned the right to choose to use that ringside seat to pass you water between rounds and cheer you on." Sheppard looked even more confused. She grinned at him, and he broke.

"Wait, you're seriously down.. here.. in the middle of the night to… try to make me feel better?" He was trying for casual, but his voice failed him halfway through. "Why would you do that?"

She shrugged again. "Is there anybody else who could?" He looked at her blankly. "Make you feel better, that is. Nobody else knows what really happened. Lorne says he's tried, twice. Beckett can heal the body, but you and I both know he's useless at trying to heal the soul. Always prescribes fishing." Sheppard gave a small huff-laugh-eyeroll at that, before looking away.

"That leaves just you and me, and you're clearly not getting anywhere on your own."

Sheppard glanced back down at the blanket in his hands as he considered her words. She stayed quiet. He knew why she was there, and now it was up to him. A good minute or so of silence followed. Finally he glanced at her before offering her the blanket. She accepted it, and he seemed to relax at that.

"Tell me." he said. "Tell me exactly what I did… and I don't mean just the physical injuries or such. I know about that. Tell me the things I don't remember, the things you saw that make you so willing to forgive me for… for…." he faltered at that point, and looked away again.

"I can't forgive you, Sheppard." He jerked his head up at that statement, blinking at her for a few seconds before turning his head away again. Obviously not what he'd expected to hear.

"Forgiving you implies that I hold you responsible for the things that happened. It wasn't you, John. It was someone..., something..., completely different that grabbed me in that corridor, that tossed me around like a ragdoll, that dragged me off to its lair and claimed me as its mate." Sheppard was looking at her again, disbelief and horror and confusion all blending together.

"I'll tell you what I saw." She squared her shoulders and looked Sheppard straight in the eye.

"I saw a scared, territorial creature with highly developed survival instincts that was being hunted. I saw it actively assess me and decide that I was suitable, for whatever reason, to be its mate. I saw it seek shelter intelligently, and I saw it assert dominance over me in all the ways it knew how to. I study strange and unusual creatures for a living, Sheppard. I saw a strange creature do very characteristic things, over and over. It scented me, it marked me, it challenged me."

"When I chose to submit, I knew what I was potentially in for, but sue me, I wanted to take every chance I could get to survive. Yeah, it was… horrible…" Sheppard flinched at that,"...but all of its actions were purely instinctual. Pure animal behaviour. Pure survival. From that perspective the creature's behaviour was perfectly... normal. Rather, given that it was essentially a new hybridised life form it wasn't so much 'normal' as simply... nothing unusual about it. Even the nesting, in retrospect, was a reasonable behaviour given the hybridisation with a human form."

Sheppard blinked, and was silent for a little while, thinking.

"Scented...you?" he finally uttered. Casey grinned at him.

"Yeah. The sniffing thing. Plenty of that." Sheppard eyed her again.

"No wonder you didn't freak out or look at me funny when I told you that you smelt pregnant." he mumbled. She giggled a little.

"That was… unexpected, sure, but it wasn't all that preposterous, given the context."

Sheppard suddenly started, and then looked at her aghast. "Wait, wait… 'chose to submit'? You knew what I would do to you and you… let me… let it... " he gaped at her. She quickly jumped to defend herself.

"Based on the limited amount of behaviour I had observed till that point, I figured there were only two ways it could play out. If I submitted, it was likely that the creature would try to claim me as a mate. The sniffing and the licking and the fact that it hadn't killed me, had dragged me all the way out to somewhere secluded… all indications were that.. "

"Licking!?" Sheppard interrupted, aghast.

"Yeah, it licked the blood off my face, from my chin to my temple." Casey turned her head and dragged a finger up along the path Sheppard's tongue had taken. Sheppard blanched a little at that.

"Oh that's just wrong" he muttered. She shrugged.

"It wasn't after the blood specifically or anything. It was just… tasting me… I think. It's a good thing it stopped before it reached the cut on my forehead, or I would have needed a dose of that anti-bug medication Beckett developed for you. It's actually remarkable that, given everything, I didn't get infected by the retrovirus. It never found a way into my blood."

Sheppard looked like he couldn't choose between being horrified and relieved at that.

"Anyway, the options were submit or probably… die."

Sheppard looked away again, clenching both his fists where they rested on his thighs. Talking about potentially killing her probably wasn't helping. She leaned in conspiratorially and Sheppard's eyes flicked to hers as she grinned at him.

"I happen to think being alive is pretty awesome."

She digs into the pocket of her jersey, and Sheppard's attention is drawn by the crinkling noise. Tearing it open, she breaks it in half and offers part to Sheppard.

"Snickers bar?"