"What?! Why would you ask me such a thing?"
"I distinctly remember before you told us that you were pregnant with Rory we were supposed to have apple pie. One week the maid ran out of apples. I blamed her, but she agreed that she would make it the next week. The next week came, and her apples were gone again. As I recall you ate all the apples, which nobody understood, because you have been known for your distinct disdain of fruits, and vegetables."
"You jumped to that conclusion, because I noticed the fruit bowl?"
"I think it is a valid question," Emily insists.
"I feel as if I am suddenly in some alternate universe."
Emily rolls her eyes, "It is a simple question."
"Is it, really? I am forty years old. What is the likelihood of me being pregnant?"
"Lorelai I know how old you are. That does not answer what I asked you."
Lorelai ponders the thought for a moment, and then quickly answers, hoping her mother will not take her pause as deceit, "Not to my knowledge."
"Are you considering eating that apple?" Emily points to the green apple sitting on the top of the fruit pile that is contained on a bowl atop of her coffee table.
"I am considering it," she acknowledges, despite the fact she is nearly certain that she is having an out of body experience.
"So why wouldn't you consider the thought that you might be pregnant? Are you sexually active?"
"Emily Gilmore! I am appalled that you would utter such brusque, and inappropriate questions."
"I thought it best to ask, instead of assume. At fifteen I would not have assumed that you were sexually active, but you quickly dashed those dreams the day that you announced you were pregnant with Rory. I am simply asking if it is possibility. Have you considered that maybe you do not have stomach virus?"
Lorelai falls silent. Emily abruptly vacates her seat, and rises to her feet.
"Come on," Emily directs.
Lorelai furrows her brow, "Where?"
"We have established that you are not hungry, and it is just the two of us. There is absolutely no reason that we cannot put this issue to rest in a prompt manner."
"What are you suggesting?"
"Get your coat," Emily instructs.
"Where are we going?"
"To the drug store," Emily responds.
Lorelai feels weak, and completely caught off guard. Emily hands Lorelai her coat. She retrieves keys, as Lorelai slips her coat on. The entire ride to the drug store is silent. Lorelai's head spins so quickly she is certain it is going to detach itself from her neck, and fly off. Emily parks the car, and looks over at her daughter, who is paler than a ghost on Halloween. Lorelai stares out the front dash in silence. She doesn't move a muscle when the car door opens, as she feels paralyzed. Emily exits the car, and heads into the drug store on her own. Moments later she returns to the car, and hands Lorelai a paper bag. Several minutes later as they pull into the driveway snow begins to fall from the sky. Lorelai follows Emily back into the house. She places her coat on the coatrack, and heads into the bathroom with a brown paper bag in her hands.
She closes, and locks the door behind her. She dumps out the contents of the bag. She finds two items. She rips off the top of the box, and pulls out a plastic stick. She goes through the motions, feeling very devoid of emotion. She feels completely caught off guard by the entire situation. She washes her hands, and exits the bathroom. She finds Emily standing outside, waiting on her.
"Lorelai, are you okay?"
She exhales, "Why did you get me a ring pop?"
Emily shrugs, "I remember how much you enjoyed them when you were younger. You went to the club with your father, and came back with this atrocious, sticky thing on your finger. It caught my eye when I was at the register because it was green apple."
Lorelai nearly smiles, "It's a two pack."
"Your point?"
"Try it."
"Why not? It has been an entirely unconventional night," she admits.
Silence befalls them momentarily, as they shift their attention to their candy bling. A few moments pass, and Emily breaks the silence.
"How long will it take?"
"Five minutes. It has already been," she pauses to look at her watch, "Three."
"I gather from your reaction you are pretty caught off guard," Emily asserts.
"Sookie had a stomach virus last week. It was the most logical explanation to me. I didn't consider any other possibilities."
Emily grins, and Lorelai furrows her brow in confusion. "I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with you, I was insistent that the doctor was wrong. We had gotten back from Europe a few weeks before. I was concerned because I hadn't recovered from the bug I picked up while I was there."
"How long did you consider naming me bug?"
"When you were an infant your father would refer to you as bug, and I detested it. I told him he was going to give you a complex."
"You made him stop," Lorelai assumes.
"Of course. You had a name, and it was not bug. He would come home and ask where his little bug was. It was ridiculous, really."
Lorelai glances at her watch, "Time's up."
"I'll wait here," Emily agrees.
Lorelai returns to the bathroom. She carefully studies the plastic stick lying on the bathroom counter. She grabs a tissue, and lifts the item off the counter. She carries it out into the hallway.
"Maybe you should have gotten two. I don't know that these are entirely accurate."
Emily takes a step forward, and glances at the pregnancy test in Lorelai's hand.