Author: Feather (Flightf)

Warnings: Spoilers all the way through Twelve Sharp.

Disclaimers: I own nothing…JE owns it all….I will return everything when I am finished. I am basing the strip aerobics on two programs Shelia Kelly's the S Factor and Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease.

Rating (K-M) M

A/N: This is the 1st story in my Pole Dancers Diary Series. Sorry this chapter took so long. Thank you to all my friends who held my hand as I mucked my way through this chapter.

Chapter 11: Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire...

I slammed the door shut, immediately reaching over and turning the heat up to high. I aimed all the vents so the air was blasting directly at me and started to rub my hands together trying to get some circulation going. Even after rubbing them, I looked down they were still blue so I raised my hands directly in front of the vent, the prickly sensation quickly replacing the numbness.

"So are you going to explain to me why we are running away from Batman?" Lula asked me.

I felt my eyes widen and I whipped my head around. The panic started to gather in the pit of my stomach as I noticed that the car was still in park. I slowly raised my eyes to her face and I took a big gulp. I knew that look, Lula was like a bulldog with a bone and this time I was the bone.

Shit! Play stupid Stephanie.

"You're crazy." I rolled my eyes for good measure. "Hurry, I'm starved. Let's go get something to eat already." I was hoping that the mention of food would distract her from further questioning.

When Lula let out a bark of laughter I knew that I was missing an important piece of information. She knew something that I didn't. I felt a little bit of relief when she shifted the car out of park but it only lasted for seconds.

"So girl which old geezer won the lottery?" She asked as she pulled out onto the main road.

I sat there not sure what she was talking about but my gut was sending up red flags in all sizes, "Uhhhhhhhh…" I stammered out.

"Because I know nobody can afford a Porsche on social security," she paused for a second and shot a glance at me. "Maybe they'll loan you the money to buy a coat because it is January you know"

At this point she couldn't hold her smirk in anymore because she knew that she had me. I was defeated at my own game. Rats! "So how does McDonald's sound? I'll buy you a happy meal and you can tell ole Lula why she picked you up 5 1/2 hours early and most importantly why you are running from the only person who if he really wants to can find you anywhere. You might as well come clean because I will get the full story out of you."

"Okay, okay, okay...yes! Ranger was at my apartment this morning but I was not running away. I was merely leaving before he could ask me any questions. Happy now?"

"See that wasn't so hard was it? But you surely don't think that I am going to let you stop there? Now come on tell Lula all about Batman's visit."

"Lula, I told you there's nothing to tell. I just didn't want him finding out about the classes." I purposely left off any mention of waking up with my hands down his pants and my time in the shower. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I remembered the shower and I knew I needed to roll down the window and get some fresh air.

"Damn girl, would you turn the heat down!" Lula pulled me out of my daydream and before I could reach out, she was already flipping the heat down, "Just the look on your face is enough to heat the car up! Lord almighty! My contacts are shriveling up on my eyes! I'm gonna be blind by the time we reach Mickey D's. That must have been some daydream!" I followed Lula's gaze and looked up as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Looky here girlfriend, I knew that this was going to be a great day. Even the God of good parking is smiling on us." Lula gave me a full out grin as she pulled into the spot directly in front of the door. I gave myself a little pep talk and then made a run for the door. When I safely on the inside of the glass doors I realized that Lula was still getting out of the car. When her door closed I got my first look at her. I felt my eyes go wide and I had to stop myself from shaking my head. Lula had on a pink satin hip length coat with purple fur trim that was belted at the waist. She had on crop pants that were purple and pink camo with boats that were pink suede with more purple fur around calves. As she walked through the door she grabbed my arm and headed straight to the counter. As we approached we heard a tall lanky man in his early twenty's bragging to a teenage girl.

"I swear to you he was wearing head to toe black driving a bitchin' black Porsche and was built. He was wearing these mirrored sunglasses and I am no fag or anything but he was hot!" He was talking with his hands the whole time. The girl was just looking at him doubt written all over her face.

"Yeah Tommy- I am so sure some guy paid you a hundred bucks to make fries before the lunch shift. You are so full of shit." She turned to walk away when he pulled out his wallet.

"Look! Here is the hundred dollar bill." He waved it around, "You know he kinda looked that that guy a while back that was all over the news for kidnapping or something. When I brought him the sack, he muttered something about babe and cure. I couldn't understand him," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

As I stood there I could feel my hands gripping the counter as this guy's story sunk in. I could feel the guilt consuming me; I didn't even eat one of those fries. I could feel Lula's eyes searching me for some reaction and I knew that I had to do something quick before the questions started.

"Excuse me- can we order?" When the girl walked up to the counter she snapped her gum and raised her eyebrows. My temper was starting to flare at the lack of customer service when Lula started to speak.

"We'll take two 6 piece chicken nugget Mighty kids meals with cokes to drink; we'll each take two of every sauce, 4 apple pies and 2 chocolate shakes. We're going to be here awhile because Babe here has some explaining to do." As she finished the sentence her eyes cut to me daring me to make a move. Neither McDonald's employee caught the Babe comment; I guess I should thank God for small favors.

We picked a table in the far corner of the restaurant. We dumped all the fries into a big pile in the middle of the table and we each had a row of sauces lined up in front of our seats. I sat down and opened my box of nuggets and took a sip of coke. Unfortunately Lula picked that moment to take off her coat and I began to cough and sputter. Lula and I have been friends for a few years yet she still consistently leaves me speechless with her sense of style. She had a gray tee-shirt stretched until it was almost see through with "Every Girl Needs a Tank..." written in pink rhinestones that were once touching each other but were now well spaced. Lula tossed the coat onto the empty chair and looked at me with her eyes narrowing.

"Stop shivering- your skinny white ass had better not die until I get the full story on Batman." She eyed me and looked down at her shirt, "So you haven't commented on my outfit, it was a Christmas present from Tank. Is my man sweet or what? He said that the T-shirt was one of a kind just like me..."

As each word slipped from her mouth I could see the years slipping away. By the time she was finished she looked 10 years younger and she was glowing. My heart fluttered and I wondered if I ever looked like I was in love. I needed to not think about that. Denial, denial, denial…

Lula settled into the seat across from me and immediately began eating fries. I picked up a nugget and debated which sauce to start with. Should I go with sweet and sour- a childhood favorite- and let it bring back the memories of sitting here with Grandpa Mazur sneaking in a pit stop as he would call it? Or maybe barbecue or I could just go with the new Ranch sauce…

"Steph, Stephanie, earth to Stephanie-" When I raised my eyes she kept talking, "I've been watching you hold that damn nugget for the past five minutes just staring at the sauces. It's time to tell Dr. Lula all about what's going on in the current saga of The Days of Stephanie Plum."

I took a deep breath and started talking. Every few words I would stop for a bite just to get my courage back up. I sugar coated over most of the Ranger parts and when I told her that he was in my bedroom when I got out of the shower I completely forgot about what I was doing in the shower. There are some things that you just want to keep to yourself. I know that Lula wouldn't judge me, hell she probably would give me a medal. When I was finished with my story we were down to a few crumbs and the chocolate milkshakes. As I slurped up the last bit I mentally both thanked and cursed God that I was wearing spandex after all that food.

"Stephanie you know that after all that we have been through together that you can always count on me and right now I am going to give you advice that you don't want to hear. Sometime soon you are going to have to make a decision between the two men in your life. Because one day you are going to wake up and find that they both have moved on."

She reached over and did something that was so uncharacteristic that I was doing a good impression of a fish for the second time today. I didn't get much time to process what she said before she moved onto the next topic. "Okay it sounds like you need a little pick me up. Here's what we are going to do. I heard that Macy's is having a kickin' after Christmas sale. We are going to hit the stores for a few hours then we are going to shake our bootee."

It was after twelve when we pulled out of Mickey D's parking lot. I figured that I would be safe so I asked Lula to stop by my apartment long enough for me to change clothes. I unlocked the door and let myself in. I knew that Ranger would be gone but I was somewhat surprised there wasn't a Merryman waiting to take me to there leader for punishment. With the thought of Ranger punishment I felt a little zip between my legs but I managed to get myself back on track. I went into the bedroom and grabbed a pair of jeans and black cashmere sweater from my closet. The fact that the sweater was a Christmas present from Ranger didn't enter my mind at all- nope no way. Besides I knew that Ella picked it out. Reminded me that I need to thank her when I see her next. The sweater was by far one of the nicest things I owned.

I sat on my bed to slip on a pair of boots and on my nightstand sat a McDonald's bag and a full coke in a pile of condensation. The guilt was almost overcoming as I reached out and ran my finger across the bag. Sometimes I couldn't believe the things that Ranger did for me. I reminded myself that there was only one thing that I really needed from Ranger and it was the only thing that he denied me. Him.

With a sigh, I stood up reached over and grabbed my cell. As I locked the door to my apartment I looked to see what calls I had missed. I hit the button that automatically connected me to voice mail. I hit 2 to skip straight to the message because I just didn't have the patience to sit through all the crap the cell phone companies feel the need to tell you about every call. I hit seven immediately when I heard my mother's voice, I would call her later. The very last message started just as I settled into the car seat.

"Babe...I am going out of town for business. Contact Tank if you need anything." There was a long pause after he finished talking but he didn't say anything else. I felt a little disappointment mix in with the desire to hear his voice. Out of town… again. I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or mad that he was leaving. I decided to do what I do best and pretend that nothing was happened. Luckily a song that Lula liked came on the radio so she cranked up the radio and off to the mall we went.

At five o'clock I found myself back in Lula's car with the music blasting away. The back was overflowing with bags from every store in the mall. After Christmas was the best time to get great deals. We must have hit the stores after some big returns. We ended up eating diner in the food court but I mostly picked at my sandwich. As we got closer to the time of our class I got more and more nervous. At exactly five forty-five we pulled onto a trendy street in Princeton. You could tell that it was a neighborhood of older homes and buildings that had been restored. I looked up and down the street trying to find the PLACE. I started by looking for anything that looked like the strip clubs in Trenton. I didn't see any live signs or buildings with a seedy look to them. Next I tried to find a fitness club no full glass views of people who looked miserable. Wishing that they were any place but where they were. Again I came up short I was starting to dance in my seat out of nervousness when Lula found a parking spot right outside a building that obliviously used to be a home. The front door was wood with a glass window. Etched on the window was the same S that was embroidered on my bag. The same S that was on the letter head.

Shit we were here and I was going to have to put on the shorts. Damn and double damn.