Holy crap you're doing it. I thought you were waiting. This is the perfect opportunity. Well I'm glad my suggestion is being used. Actually I'm excited. So am I. Stop typing this and write!

He looked around more than confused. Well…he was but he wasn't. He knew exactly where he was but at the same time…it was wrong. Everything was frozen in place.

The scene around him was greyish, like most the color had been sucked from the planet and only left shades of white, grey, and black. He knew where he was. He'd been here before. Many times. But the figures that usually moved in this terrible memory were frozen in place.

He recognized the instant though. When he looked at the figures tears brimmed in his eyes…except he couldn't cry. When he wiped at his eye and stared at his hand he saw and felt the tears he had wiped away. He could cry here.

The scene of Dol's death was depressing, everything in him wanted to rip away but he was anchored here, staring at the frozen bodies of a young Bella, Mary, a beheaded Edward…his aunt. This was the instant that his aunt had died. He could almost hear the echo of the painful snap of her neck.

"Who are you?"

Collin's breathing hitched at the voice behind him. That voice…vividly familiar yet he'd never met her. Impossible.

When he turned around he had to bite back a cry of shock at the sight before him…blue hair…the eyes were different, the color of his grandma El, but it was unmistakable… "Aunt Dol…" He barely managed to choke the words out as he launched himself at her, wrapping her in a tight embrace that he could, thankfully, do here. Dol. Oh God.

Her hands came around him and he truly wasn't sure why she did it. She had no idea who he was. She was dead. And yet she was hugging him.

"I need an explanation, kid. I just died. Life flashed before my eyes. C'mon. Speak to me. I'm supposed to be going to the afterlife." She sounded so damned happy. How could she sound happy when she'd just died? "You better not tell me my afterlife is hanging out with some phantom kid that looks eerily like my sister. I do not deserve Hell. I just sacrificed myself to save the damned world." Her tone was still happy, playful, despite the twinge of sadness that filled her tone.

He laughed weakly, tightening his hold on his aunt, refusing to let go. No. He would savor this horrible memory for his entire life. His mother's worst memory becoming his favorite. There was no doubt in the prospect.

But why was he here? Leah had explained her being able to communicate with him in these…death walks or whatever as her living outside the normal plane of existence. Dol didn't exist like that. She didn't even exist alone.

Could he roll the time back just enough and save her? The idea ran through his head before he could stop it and suddenly that was all he could think of. He'd considered the prospect before. The idea that he could save someone in this weird place of watching the deaths…he'd influenced things.

"Kid."

He blinked and spoke into her side, refusing to let go. "Um, my name is Collin Lahote. I am your…nephew. I was Bella and John Lahote's son."

He could feel her staring at him and it took her a minute to speak up, "That explains who you are but why are you here?"

"The question of the century." He muttered, shaking his head. "Mary made me a vampire a while back. Several years back…I mean I was already a quarter vampire after I was born but my ability didn't actually take effect until I was turned. My ability…well it lets me see into the memories of the dead…only…it's been changing. I used to watch the memories through the eyes of the dead. Not long ago I started being able to interact in the environment around the memories…now…I don't know what this is. I have never done this before."

"Sounds about right." She gently pushed the boy off of her so that she could look down at him properly, cupping his face in one hand, "You look like your mom." Her eyes teared up and she cleared her throat. "Did she live happy? Was she happy with John?"

He didn't like this setting, not to tell her his story…if only…As if a screen had been flicked they were suddenly in a new setting. Collin recognized it immediately. A comforting memory, Christmas when he was around thirteen years old. Three years after she'd turned him. From left to right, Edward, Rosalie, Bella, and John were scrunched together on the couch. Rosalie had her hand on Bella's thigh and Bella was leaning into John with a comfort to the situation that they rarely showed. Daula was sitting in Andy's lap in the middle of the floor and Collin's younger self was sitting in front of the tree with Mary next to him. Brady and Lila were in the other couch, Lila curled up in her wolf form.

"Okay, I need context, Collin. What the hell?"

This was something he did not want to talk about, much less explain to his aunt. It was obvious what she was talking about without looking at her. "I don't know the exact details and I didn't really want to know. Long story short, mom and Aunt Rose are sleeping together at this point, she's also sleeping…no, not sleeping with, fucking Edward. It's…" He squirmed uncomfortably, wanting to talk about anything else.

"Okay. Introductions. Who are they?"

"Alright, that's your daughter-in-law, Lila. Brady's mate. She used to spend almost all her time as a wolf, hates being human. You know Mary, sort of, she became part of the family after she killed you…saw mom as her sister, me as her brother, Brady too…" He trailed off, God their family was screwed up. "Then this is your niece and my sister, Daula. Mom named her after you. We always call her Dal. Andy and her have been together for years. He's Mike and Jess' son. Real dick now. I told her to dump him or I'd kill him. I probably still will…"

His thought process was cut off as he pointed to the family when Dol looked back at her sister, "Isthatafuckingbruise?" The question came out in an angry jumbled mess and Collin knew immediately what she was talking about. It was barely visible under the sleeve of her dress' shoulder but it was there. A handprint the size of Edward's hand, yellowing and fading. Something they'd all stopped acknowledging.

"I said 'fucking' for a reason. I didn't understand it and I never will. Dol, please. I don't know how long we have to talk. This is something I don't want to relive." He pleaded with his aunt as he grabbed onto her arm.

With what was clear difficulty she peeled her gaze away. "It's her choice, right?"

"Yes. Nothing influenced her, except maybe her broken mind."

"My death broke her didn't it." The expression on her face was so lost and heartbroken. So different from the happy carefree woman who he'd encountered in that clearing. "I mean her burying herself nearly destroyed me."

"My mom survived. Survival is different from living. But she survived. She wasn't lost like you were. Not completely. But she also didn't shut herself down."

Dol swallowed visibly. "Kitchen. Think we can interact with these landscapes? There's always ice-cream."

Collin remembered this Christmas. Bella had gotten onto everyone for someone getting into the ice-cream, no one had fessed up…was it possible?...

"We can try." He stated absently, making his way to the dining room and into the kitchen, Dol settled into one of the seats.

"You know, when I was in my spectral form, I wasn't solid. Usually. I mean, sometimes I could put myself in a sort of middle state where I felt like a mist to people, but it wasn't possible for me to interact with solid things. When I was walking across floors or sitting on things, it was just habit. I did it because I would've had I had a form. I could fly in Spectral form; it was more willpower to move then actually moving." She was rambling he realized, he reached up and touched the freezer door, surprised when it responded as though he was there.

Carefully he opened the freezer, and got up on his tippy toes, pulling the tub of what he remembered as chocolate ice-cream. When he set it on the table and pulled the lid off his breathing hitched, it was full. Either this meant that his suspicions were correct or…what did it mean?

"You're thinking, Collin."

"Is it that obvious?" He muttered, shaking his head.

"Your mom did that too. Zoned out and stopped in her tracks, of course I could just dive into her head and know exactly what was going on."

"Did that ever get awkward?" He asked suddenly.

She smiled lightly as he gathered a couple spoons from the drawer, offering one to his aunt. He was going to eat; could he eat? He'd cried before. He had to be able to eat.

"Look at it this way, Collin. When we were in Volterra. We were in our early teen years when I got buried that time. We were becoming more aware of our sexuality. I was a lot more open to it than she was but I caught her thoughts, her fantasizing about certain members of the guard. Trust me. It could get awkward."

Oh this was so not what he wanted to hear, he had been fortunate enough to miss out on those memories. He did not need his aunt talking about it.

His aunt smirked and stabbed her spoon into the ice-cream. "Oh don't get all flustered, Collin. You're clearly older than your physical being. Don't tell me you don't at least think about sex."

He stared down at the floor and his aunt made a stunned sound. "Wow. Are you kidding me?"

"I'm trapped in the body of a ten-year-old, Dol. I'm limited by my age. Just like Mary is. Yes, when I was little, I was curious about male versus female but I never grew past that."

"Maybe that's why she was so pissy. Sexually repressed kids. I'll change the subject for your sake. So after I died, what did she do?"

Relieved at the subject change, he took a scoop of the ice-cream and made a very obscene noise at the taste. Food. Real food. How long had it been since he'd eaten something? Not blood. Actually eaten.

"And here you're saying you've never had sex." He nearly spit the ice-cream out and his aunt burst into a fit of giggles. "I'm sorry. I can't help myself. I haven't felt so content in years. Which is weird, you know. Considering I'm dead. I guess it's because I'm free of Ak for the first time ever."

"It makes sense." He muttered weakly, still uncomfortable with the conversation from before. "Sort of. And if I'm right, we're sitting in a memory of my mom. Your soul is probably still tied to her."

"Smart kid. Alright. Answer the question while I enjoy this amazing sweet."

"Well after you died, mom was kind of broken. I mean, she was always broken. It was very rarely that I saw her genuinely happy. Unless she was hallucinating you. I think that her marrying my dad was a convenience thing, she might have loved him but...not like she wished she could. I know it worked for them. Especially when they opened up their relationship." Somehow vagueness on that subject was much easier. "She died of lung cancer." He added after a moment and Dol stared at him dumbfounded. "No, she didn't smoke. Not cigarettes or pot. She didn't drown herself in anything to get past it like you did with alcohol. Yes, she could've been saved, Mary was going to. However, a lot of those she loved were dead, Dad, Rose, I think Edward was too, and she was ready to move on. After everything she's been through, I can't blame her. She made Mary swear not to save her. So she didn't; God I was mad. I was so angry. I lashed out. Everyone says I threw a temper tantrum; which I think I'm entitled to."

Dol laughed lightly at that and he couldn't help but grin at that, "I think everyone is entitled to a couple. God, that vampire…Mary…she became part of the family?"

"Brady imprinted on her. She wouldn't have stayed away if she could. But she adopted us as her family. Put out an order to The Head Counsel that she created that we were under protection from them. Not soon enough though…dad died to a vampire."

"I'm sorry, Collin."

"It was years ago."

"No one ever gets over losing a parent." Oh was it true. He couldn't hide that fact from his aunt. She had lost basically everyone. Bella's parents, her mother, all for what? What good was it?

"Don't." Dol told him, reaching across the table and taking his hand, squeezing it gently. "Collin, I don't know you. I knew your mother though, better than she knew herself. I know that look. Nothing can change what happened to her. Nothing, Collin. I'm sorry. Every vampire who has an ability of some sort, there is a reason for it, you know your mother's, it helped her sanity in an impossible situation. If you're talking to me, it means you have a reason for it. Don't you dare cry, Collin. If you do; I will and I don't like crying."

He swallowed heavily and forced himself not to cry, because it would do no good, and she was right. Damnit, she was right. Leah had said the same thing to him. It didn't change how much it hurt. With unease he took the ice-cream tub off the table and returned it to the freezer, taking the spoon from his aunt and rinsing them off and setting them in the dishwasher.

"I wonder…I came to the moment of your death, it was frozen like this one…could I…" The scene around them shifted to one of the most depressing memories in existence. A memory he had been absent from when it was made, something he could never forgive himself for.

The room was full, some of their family, doctors, and he wasn't there. He was off God knows where murdering innocent children. This was just after she'd flat lined. The heart rate monitor was still visibly showing that. Mary was here, he knew she was, but she had shielded herself from everyone. Unless he looked closely…she was on the foot of Bella's bed, her knees pulled to her chest, he couldn't see her face from where he was but he figured that she was crying. Tearless but still crying.

"Collin?"

He jerked his attention from Mary when Bella, his mother, looking the same age as Dol, manifested to his right. "Mom!" He cried as he launched into her arms, she wrapped her arms around him and held him close.

"Bella?"

His mom went rigid under him, if she had had a heartbeat he was pretty sure it would've stopped then.

"Dol…oh god this is death? Seeing my family members…I thought it would free me from seeing things that aren't real."

"Collin, please." Dol's tone was pleading, her voice directly behind him, with a lot of reluctance he detached himself from his mother and moved to the side, watching as his aunt pulled his mom into a tight hug.

"Mom, you aren't hallucinating. I might be but you definitely aren't." It was true. Either this was an extension of his ability or he was hallucinating. Which wasn't a comforting thought. But he'd savor it.

"What?" She had tears in her eyes as she looked over at him and his throat closed, his mom, she was so young, and she looked so happy, but so sad.

"This is an extension of my ability…I think. Or I'm hallucinating. But this is real for you. Aunt Dol is real and I'm real."

His mom stared at him for several moments before she made a delighted sound and buried her face in Dol's shoulder. His mom and aunt, the both of them were so happy. Collin had never seen his mom this happy, and he realized, they were dead. For the first time they were at peace because nothing could get worse for them. Nothing. This was also the first time they'd seen each other without Ak pushing at the back of Dol's mind, trying to force her to wipe out humanity.

"Oh, God. Dol. I'm so sorry. I am so fucking sorry. I-"

"Shut up, Bella. Really. Shut up. There was no other option and we both know it. She would've killed the world. I had to die."

Bella pulled away from the hug and stared at her sister, shaking her head, "If I hadn't buried myself because I'm a coward, I-"

"Bella." Dol's tone was a growl, "Stop with the self-hate. Please. We did what we had to, you lived your life the best you could, and had two kids. You helped raise my son. God, Bella, if I had been you I would've crawled in a hole and died. I would've. We all know I'm the idiot sister with the overreliance. Stop blaming yourself. There was nothing you could've done. Now you and my nephew need to tell me what you did with life."

Collin thought for a moment and they were in an older house, a house he recognized from his mom's memories. It could've been her or Dol's though. Their childhood home. In this, frozen, memory the two of them were running, Bella running down the stairs holding onto something that Collin couldn't see and Dol trailing after her. He'd never seen this one. His head also was starting to hurt but he pushed that away for the time being, it wasn't important. Not with his aunt and mother standing there.

"Oh my God." Bella sounded stunned. "We were so little! I remember this day!"

"I remember this. I was so mad at you. Thief." His aunt looked like an overgrown child as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I didn't understand sentimentality." Bella defended herself as Dol spoke over her, saying the end of Bella's sentence in time.

"Sentimentality. Yeah yeah yeah. It was my necklace!" Dol was trying not to smile, it was obvious.

"You took all of my stuff-" Bella started,

Dol cut into her sentence with ease, Bella pouting, "-when I had none of my own. Remember?"

Bella rolled her eyes at that, because it was true. "Fine. I'm sorry."

Dol's expression lit up as a grin covered her face. "Only took you…what year is it, Collin? I need to prove a point to my sister."

He wasn't sure what year it was…he never bothered looking at the date anymore, "Twenty-Ninety…I think. Somewhere around there."

"Holy crap I'm old. Bella, you look absolutely amazing for ninety-something. Absolutely beautiful. If I said you were hot would that make me a cougar? Probably not. I'm ninety-something too."

"That is not okay."

Dol rolled her eyes, "Sisters, Bella. I'm allowed to make comments like that. Which reminds me, why the fuck were you fucking Edward?"

Collin groaned and put his face in his hands, not wanting to be part of this conversation.

Bella clearly wasn't too comfortable with where this was going either because she blushed and looked away. "It's complicated." The aversion was clear in her tone and Collin prayed to whatever might be listening that Dol wouldn't push. Never had he been that lucky though.

"Our entire lives were complicated. Getting fucked in a bathroom stall by a fat guy named Roy is complicated. However, nothing was more complicated than your relationship with him." Collin wanted to crawl in a corner and die. He'd officially heard more about his aunt than he ever needed to know. He knew, he'd fallen into memories despite his best efforts to avoid them, hearing it from her made it all too vivid and real.

Bella's tone was defensive, broken, "Dol, he changed. A lot. Which was apparently inspired by you. He tried to make up for what he did…which he did…then one night…we were hanging out, watching some stupid romantic comedy. God it was a terrible movie. I came onto him because for a brief second I forgot…and I was so angry because I'd snapped, lost control of that part of me that still loved the version of him that I'd dreamt about…I kind of…attacked him. Started beating the shit out of him, telling him it was his fault…god I was so cruel. The things I said…" She cleared her throat, "Somehow it turned into…I ended up on top of him and…I realized what I'd been doing…Then he told me it was okay. To let it go. And I did. I let myself take out all of that frustration and anger and I let him do the same to me…we…well it wasn't pretty. There wasn't much restraint by either party." She glanced over at Collin, "The next day I felt the effects of it, but…I felt so damned relieved. I was content, and it scared the ever living hell out of me. The guilt wasn't there. Not like it should've been. It didn't matter. I went home. I begged John for forgiveness, I was so scared I'd lose him but…he made a suggestion, God you would've loved him…he knew what a mess I was and still loved me…I mean, I was sleeping with Rose already, more for her benefit than mine…but…I had never considered anything with Edward…but when John told me it was okay…the thing with Edward became common…and I may have become a bit addicted to it. Which probably says how fucked up I was." She squirmed uncomfortably under her sister's stare.

Despite what he wanted to act like, he listened to his mom's story. Never had he actually heard the full details revolving around what had happened. Yes, it was way more information than he'd ever wanted. He was still extremely uncomfortable, but it was bearable, because he understood a bit better. He was still hopeful they'd stop talking about it. There were far more happy things to talk about. This wasn't one of them.

"I'm going to save your son from anymore of this conversation, Bella." Dol gave him a knowing look as she pulled her sister into another hug, "As long as you were happy."

"As happy as I could be. Which was never more than the years with you tormenting me."

"I am pretty awesome."

Collin could basically hear his mom's eyes roll. "Not putting you up on any high horses, Dol."

"Let's sit down. Collin, I really want to hear about what it's like for you currently."

Next to his mom and aunt's sex lives, that was the last thing he wanted to talk about. Instead of fighting it he followed his aunt and mom into the living room and watched them settle into one of the couches, he took the other one for himself and watched them closely.

"Don't you get all apologetic, Collin. I get why you weren't there. Tell us about your time." He wasn't ready to tell this story but knew he needed to.

Oh god. Hi, guys. Where have you been! Shut it, Dol. Sorry it took forever to get this chapter out. I have several reasons as to why it has taken so long and I'll be honest with what they are.

First, this chapter ran into around seven thousand words and I still couldn't get a good end point for the oversized chapter so I cut it down to this point.

Second, I kind of hit a bad place of lac of motivation so I began a Supernatural fanfiction to occupy my time while I tried to get my motivation back. Am I not interesting enough to hold your attention? Shutup, Dol.

Third, and kind of most important, I got really sick. I had bronchitis and now I've got pneumonia. Which sucks. A lot. And I feel like shit. But I was losing my sanity slowly but surely being bedridden so I booted my computer and pushed through to cut this down to post for ya'll. Oh you're sick. Now I feel like a bitch. You are a bitch. But that's fine. It's why I love you. I knew it! Anyways. I can't promise I'll post something else soon, I'm on the path to recovery and all that. However, if I keep losing my sanity I'll probably pushed through and finish the next chapter as well. Um… Yes, I screwed that up but left it. Anyways. Byebye, guys. This story hasn't been abandoned. I'm just sick.