"So get this," Rachel begins leaning towards her girlfriends across the dining table. "Yesterday, I'm sitting here having my morning coffee and guess who just happens to pop by."
"Ross?" Phoebe answers reluctantly, wanting to move Rachel through this inevitable but unwanted topic of conversation as quickly and painlessly as possible.
"Yes!" Rachel exclaims either missing or ignoring Phoebe's annoyance. "And guess what he sat here talking about for over an hour?" Rachel continues undeterred.
"The wedding?" Monica answers, sharing a look of exasperation with Phoebe across the table. They've been beginning most mornings like this for the past 2 weeks since her brother had become engaged again.
"Yes!" Rachel exclaims again. "Can you believe it?"
"Yes?" Phoebe hazards the cheeky response.
"I think he's actually going to go through with it," Rachel sighs unperturbed by the one-way nature of her conversation.
"Sweetie," Monica begins gently patting Rachel's arm, "He gave her Grandma Geller's ring. Everyone thinks he's going to go through with it."
"You're right," Rachel agrees sitting taller at the table. "You're right. You're right. I know you're right."
Her resolve is short lived however as a moment later she slumps forward in her seat once more, resting her head upon her folded arms on the table. "It's just so hard," she laments. "I mean, how can he have found someone else already?"
"You know how Ross is," Monica consoles. "He's always been this way, getting serious right away. You know that about him."
"Yeah," Phoebe chimes in. "Remember Julie?"
"Of course I remember Julie," Rachel barks back lifting her head from the table to glare at Phoebe. "Are you trying to help me here or push me over the edge?" She asks accusingly.
"I was trying to help," Phoebe replies defensively, "but now that you're snapping at me, I kinda want to know what you going over the edge looks like."
"I'm sorry, Pheebs." Rachel concedes. "It just sucks being alone, you know? Everybody else has somebody. Ross has Emily, you've got a different guy every weekend," Rachel gestures to Phoebe who grins smugly at the mention of her rather impressive string of gentlemen suitors of late, "and Mon's got Richard."
"Actually, Richard and I broke up," Monica announces suddenly, interrupting Rachel's list of successful couplings. She's been meaning to bring this up with her girlfriends for a while now, but actually saying the words has been more difficult than she'd imagined.
"What?" Rachel asks in shock just as Phoebe wonders aloud, "When?"
"Last Friday," Monica answers, in what she hopes, is an even tone.
"Monica!" Phoebe yelps angrily, "You waited a whole week to tell us about this?"
"I was adjusting," Monica defends herself.
"Oh honey," Rachel commiserates, pulling her friend into an awkward hug across the table. "I know everything is awful now, but it's going to get better."
"I'm okay, actually," Monica claims, voice somewhat muffled by Rachel's embrace. When her friend releases her to scan her face for any hint of untruth she reaffirms, "Really. We've been growing apart for a long time."
"Okay," Phoebe says happily with a clap, "then you're ready to get back out there with me next weekend."
"I'm not ready," Monica amends quickly. The last thing she wants is to have to start dating again.
"But you just said you were over Richard," Phoebe points out.
"I am," Monica assures her. "But I'm in a mourning period."
"I get it, Mon. Believe me I do," Rachel tells her. "But take it from me, don't wait too long. It's awful out there and all the good guys are getting snatched up faster than Manolo Blahnik boots at a fire sale."
"She's right," Phoebe confirms. "If you don't move now, someone's going to snatch up your boots. And they'll wear down the heel and scratch the toe and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that someone else is out there scuffing up your boots."
"Are we still talking about dating?" Monica asks confused.
"Yes," Phoebe nods before adding, "but the shoe department at Bloomindale's is having a sale this week."
"Nothing like a little retail therapy," Rachel smiles looking over at Monica.
"All right I'm in," she laughs, as the 3 gather their belongings and make for the door.
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"When did this happen," Joey asks, pulling his eyes from the action of the Rangers game to peer over at his friend. They've got great seats and Adam Graves is currently getting his teeth knocked in by some goon on the Red Wings only a couple of rows in front of them. But Chandler is so wrapped up in his personal misery he's hardly even paying attention.
"Last Saturday," Chandler tells him sadly. "I came home with this big bouquet of flowers and she answered the door in her robe. The guys pants were still draped over the kitchen chair."
"Oh, that's harsh!" Joey exclaims taking in his friend's pained expression, which looks remarkably similar to that of the hockey player's who is currently getting his kidneys worked over by the Detroit defenseman.
"That's not even the worst of it," Chandler tells the inside of his once full cup of beer, tipping his head all the way back trying to get every possible drop of alcohol into his system.
"What could be worse than walking in on your wife banging another dude?" Joey wonders aloud.
"It's all my fault," Chandler says dejectedly crushing the empty cup and sighing heavily before elaborating. "She only slept with him because I accused her of it earlier. I basically threw her into his arms."
"Dude, women don't begin affairs just because their husbands are jealous. Trust me, I make a lot of husbands jealous," he adds with a smirk.
Chandler just nods sadly at this, motioning over at a beer vendor a few rows away. When he orders 2 more drinks and swiftly downs the first and begins sipping the second, Joey gently removes the cup from his hands and tries to reason with him, "Let's get some perspective here, buddy. Alright? These things, they happen for a reason, okay?"
"Yeah, me! I'm the reason they happen. I'm hopeless, and awkward and desperate for love. Is it any wonder Kathy left me for Nick," he chokes out the name painfully. "You know, I knew this was going to happen," Chandler continues miserably. "The whole time we were together, I knew she was going to break my heart. Even though I thought we were in love and happy, a part of me always knew one day she'd kick the shit out of me."
For a moment the sold out capacity attendance at Madison Square Garden seem to moan in sympathy with Chandler as the Red Wings score a last minute goal in the final seconds of the 2nd period to go up 2 to nothing on the Rangers. Joey, usually loathe to leave any sporting event till the very, often bitter, end, takes one look at his friend's sad face and with a quick regretful glance at the shimmering white ice only a few yards away tugs Chandler up by his coat collar. "C'mon," he tells him, gently steering him to the exits. "Let's get out of here and grab a cup of coffee."
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Monica quickly moves to steady the mug a distracted Gunther has haphazardly dropped upon the coffee table. A quick glance at Rachel, who holds up one toned leg to better appreciate the look of her new knee high stiletto boot, is all she needs to determine the source of Gunther's momentary lapse in depth perception.
"Wonder what Ross would think of these bad boys," Rachel remarks eying her purchase approvingly.
"Ugh. Enough with the Ross," Phoebe chastises swatting down her friend's leg and replacing it with her own. "A better question is what are the single men of Manhattan going to think of these puppies." She waggles her own newly acquired bright blue Doc Martens in the air for them to appreciate.
Monica grins at her friends' enthusiasm. She herself hadn't felt quite as bolstered by their shopping trip, though she had found some very comfortable slippers to wear around the house.
"Oh, look at the time," Phoebe remarks suddenly jumping from her seat and gathering up her belongings. I've got to get to work. New client today, very hairy from what I hear," she adds, shuddering a bit at the mental image before heading towards the door.
"I love it when you talk shop," Rachel tells a retreating Phoebe who gives a final departing wave in the doorway. Rachel is about to turn back to Monica when she spots a man stealthily looking in their direction.
"Don't look now," she whispers conspiratorially to Monica, "but someone is staring at you over by the window seat."
"What?" Monica asks in confusion immediately disobeying Rachel's request and scanning the coffee shop. Her gaze moves over a few tables before landing on Chandler who is looking down at his table seemingly absorbed in the placard listing the daily drink specials.
"I know him," she tells Rachel. "He's friends with Ross, so you'd probably hate him."
"He's cute," Rachel asserts giving Chandler a critical once over.
"You think he's cute?" Monica asks surprised. She's never really considered Chandler in this way before.
"You should go talk to him," Rachel presses.
"Forget it," Monica tells her. "He's married."
When it looks like Rachel may have a reply to that objection, she adds, "Besides we only ever fight when we bump into one another. I doubt he'd want to talk to me."
"Monica Geller. Hi." Chandler greets, disproving Monica's prediction nearly as soon as she'd voiced it.
"Hi Chandler," Monica returns in embarrassment wondering how much of her and Rachel's hushed conversation he might have overheard.
"I thought that was you." He tells her still hovering awkwardly beside the sofa.
"It's me." She replies, falsely chipper. "And this is Rachel," she gestures towards her friend who unbeknownst to Monica has been gathering her things to leave.
"Bye Mon," she waves before bolting to the door.
"Was Rachel," Monica amends, checks flushing pink.
They remain in silence for a moment before Monica gestures to the armchair beside her seat on the couch, "Wanna sit?"
"Sure," he agrees. The silence stretches for longer this time and Chandler's discomfort grows with it. Why did he come over here again? He wonders miserably.
"So how's Dr. Burke?" He asks finally, figuring her dreamy boyfriend is probably a good topic to get her talking. Heck she's probably even Mrs. Dr. Burke by now.
"He's good," she answers automatically before realizing belatedly that it really isn't her place to comment on Richard's status any longer. "I mean I hear he's good anyhow."
"You guys aren't together any more?" Chandler asks in surprise, internally kicking himself. Of course, he'd managed to say the wrong thing to her again, and in record time no less.
"We just broke up," she admits letting a little hint of sadness creep into her voice.
"I'm sorry," Chandler says earnestly, not liking the unhappiness that's come over her face. Sad just didn't look natural on Monica, he decides. "Hey, I'm getting divorced if it makes you feel any better." He's not sure why he's decided to share this humiliating and personal bit of information with her, but it tumbles out of him none the less.
"Oh no!" She replies, genuinely upset. "What happened?" Then recollecting herself she adds suddenly, "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that. It's none of my business."
He just shrugs at that and admits, "I don't really mind. It's kind of all I can think about anyhow."
"Yeah," she agrees knowing just how he feels.
"So what happened?" She prods gently.
"She met someone else." He tells her simply. "Her costar in some stupid play," Chandler elaborates. "I'd given her a hard time because they'd had a love scene in it and it all seemed really hot and heavy so I'd thought something was going on between them. It wasn't, but it is now."
He's practically a stranger, but he's never felt like one to her even back when they'd first met, so she doesn't hesitate to reach across the coffee table to gently pat his hand in sympathy.
He smiles appreciatively before asking in turn, "What happened with you and Richard?"
"We wanted different things," she replies, rotely repeating the answer she's been giving everyone, Rachel, Ross, her mother, since her break up.
He doesn't seem appeased however and just raises an eyebrow waiting for her to continue.
To her surprise, she does, for the first time relaying out loud the circumstance that led to her ending her nearly 5 year long relationship. "I was playing with my nephew at the park," she begins.
"Ben?" He interrupts her. She just nods having forgotten for a moment that he's been a friend of her brother's for years.
"And we were playing I spy, you know the game?" After a nod of his own, she continues, "And he was saying I spy a swing set, I spy a park bench and then he looked over to where a man and a woman were pushing a baby stroller through the park and he said I spy a family, and I started to cry," she admits. "I came home and I told Richard that that was what I wanted. And then he said that he didn't. So we ended it."
"I'm sorry," he tells her looking at her with a perfect mix of pity and understanding.
"Don't be," she assures him. "The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced I did the right thing."
"You sound really healthy," he tells her sounding impressed. "This is the first day I've gotten out of sweat pants," he admits. "I wouldn't even be out of the house right now if my friend Joey hadn't dragged me here."
Monica looks around in confusion as if expecting this Joey person to materialize suddenly.
"He had to leave earlier," he explains. "He'd forgotten about a date he had later tonight."
"He doesn't sound like a very good friend," Monica remarks with a laugh.
"No, it's not like that," Chandler explains. "Joey's great. He's got a huge heart, so big in fact it may be hogging some of the real estate from his brain, if you know what I mean."
Monica laughs again but reprimands him as well, "See comments like that are the worst. They sound like a compliment, but really they're an insult."
"Hey," Chandler deflects, "ambiguous compliments are my specialty. I also dabble in irony, puns, and the occasional knock-knock joke. Maybe I can interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"Why do I get the feeling if I stick around I'll hear plenty of your sarcastic comments?"
"Ah, a witticism. Very nice," he nods at her appreciatively. Then after a moment he adds, "So do you want to?"
"Want to what?" She asks in confusion.
"Stick around," he explains. "Get dinner or something."
"Oh," Monica replies embarrassed. "Oh Chandler, no I'm sorry. I'm not really looking to start dating again right now."
"No! Oh God, no!" He explains hastily eyes bulging comically. "I'm not asking you out! Not that you aren't great, or anything," he amends quickly realizing how his words might be misconstrued. "I just meant as friends, hanging out as friends. I'm not ready to date again either. Hell, I may never date again."
"So we'll be friends?" She asks smiling slightly.
"Yeah. Friends." He agrees returning her grin.