SEVENTEEN

Thor's Shieldhall,
Solaris City, Solaris VII,
November 2, 3064

I was on my fifth bottle when Emi smelled trouble.

"I can't help but notice that you spend more and more time making love with liquor, Parker," she stated, taking the empty bottles off the table. "Not that I mind, but is there something I can help you?"

"No," I replied. "You can not help more than bringing me another bottle."

"That is my job, and it won't help you in any way," she smiled pity.

I hated being pitied. I did not need her pity. "Then just do your job, Emi. I am fine with it."

"Look, my shift is up," she took two steps behind, smiling even after my rude comment. "Why don't we walk over the Solaris River to have a talk? It's nice this time around."

"Did you not hear me? I do not want your help!" I snapped. "Just bring me another bottle!"

"Maybe it's time you leave, Mister," the security guards boxed me, two more coming from the door. "We love it when you're around, but too much alcohol will make you a jerk. We don't want jerks around here. So we ask you kindly to leave, or we will use force."

Leave? How dare them asking me to leave? I was their prized customer! Most mechwarriors left Thor's Shieldhall as soon as they jumped into elite ranks. I still lingered on this place. I paid their wages! Asking me to leave meant asking me to stop paying them.

"He's okay, he's okay!" Emi quickly stepped in, ushering the guards to go back to their posts. "Nothing happens here. Parker, come with me!"

She grabbed my hand and towed it, coercing me to stand. This girl had become increasingly annoying. Why would everybody tell me what to do? But I still had a bit of common sense in my alcohol-stuffed head. Physical squabble with Emi would invite the security guards to pin me down and throw me out of the bar. I had too much alcohol in my blood to summon a good fight. Besides, I would hurt her, and drown me deeper into the abyss. So I let her yank me out of the bar.

"Now what is wrong with you?" she raved as soon as we were outside, the first time she ever did that. "You're young, you're successful, you have everything everybody wants. You're leading a wonderful life, but you celebrate it in a drinking binge. I don't understand you!"

"Wonderful?" I scoffed, turning my back at her. "You do not know most of the story. Leave me alone."

"Do you want to be banned from Thor's Shieldhall, Parker?" she raised her voice, jogging behind me to match my brusque steps. "Or does it not matter anymore, because you can always go to Valhalla Club?"

Her mentioning of Valhalla Club forced me to stop. I turned back, grabbing her arm, giving her a malicious stare that I hoped would scare her, "Just leave me alone before I do something that both of us will regret."

"I thought you were different," she whimpered, riding out the pain on her arm. "What happens, Parker?"

I knew I hurt her, and her decision to put her pain after mine finally eroded my obstinacy. I released her, taking some deep breaths to clear my mind. I sat on the hard pavement, burying my face on my palm. The combination of alcohol and hatred toward myself made my stomach spin.

"Look, everybody look up to you because of your modesty," Emi sat next to me. "You still hang out at Thor's Shieldhall even after you won the medium championship. You are a role model for the young. It's sad to see you're spiraling down into everyday's Solaran. I want to help you, but you have to let me in. What is it? What are you stressing about?"

I averted my eyes, looking away from her inquisitive stare. "Do you know what you want in life, Emi?"

"Is this supposed to hurt me so I leave you alone?" she stood briskly. "Because if it is, it works perfectly!"

I did not mean to. I just wanted to give her a chance, but the first thing that came out of my mouth was an insult to her. Why would it be an insult? Because she was a waitress? And why would I want to insult her, when all she gave me was thoughtfulness? The longer I stayed here, the farther away I felt from myself.

"This is why I do not want to talk," I fired my frustration. "I do not know me anymore. Everything that I did for other's good turned out to be venom. I am the one that is lost in this hellhole. I am the one that do not know what I want anymore. Do you think my life is wonderful, Emi? I wish we could swap places, so you can see how miserable it is to be in my position."

Her eyes widened with surprise. She looked at me so intently that she seemed to forget to blink. Her mouth dangled, and her torso expanded and shrunk in rhythmical fashion. I figured it was hard for her to digest, since she did not know my entire story.

"How could you say that?" her protest finally came in. "How couldn't you regard your life as wonderful? You have two championships, you have money, you have fame… what more could you want?"

Just as I thought. She was just a regular Solaran. There was only one thing that mattered for Solaran: Solaris championship. She would not be able to help me with this narrow view. Telling her how I really felt would be a complete waste of time. But I could not spurn her. She showed a great effort to care for me. I had to coin something to make her feel appreciated, without revealing too much of myself.

"I am not what you think I am," I hugged myself, arms on my chest. "I had a misfortune in 3058, and I lost my memory. I did not remember what I did before it happened. My intention to come to Solaris was to get my head fixed, so I can get my memory back. I never wanted to be a famed mechwarrior. All I ever want is my memory, so I can get on with my life without fear of my past catching up with me."

"Oh," she put her hand over her mouth. "I didn't know about it."

"Now you know why I do not want to stay here," I continued. "I have enough money to get my brain fixed, but I could not get out of here yet. I had given my word that I would stay for another season. I guess I become frustrated with the situation. I felt like I lost control of my life."

"The end of the season is around the corner," she smiled. "Come on, 4 months are not such a big wait. You can practice so you can win the championship. It'll take your mind away from your frustration. Before you know it, the season is over, and you can go wherever you want. I think that's the right solution for your problem. What do you think?"

I did not see any other possibility. "Of course."

"Feeling better now?"

"Much better," I fibbed between my teeth. "Thank you."

"Didn't I tell you that we waitresses are the next best psych?" she grinned. "Now I want you to behave next time you're at the bar. We'll hate it if we lose you. Thor's Shieldhall had luxuriated in an increase in income, thanks to you. But we have to maintain a bar of quality. If you think you own the place, then we have to let you go. I hope you understand this, Parker."

"I do," I said. "Thank you for your consideration."

I moved to shake her hand, but suddenly I felt a twinge in my back. An electrical crackle ensued, then I felt my muscles lost control. I turned into a heap of flesh, slumping into the ground, spasming and writhing uncontrollably. Then somebody routed my arms behind my back and put a black bag over my head. I could hear the muffled scream of Emi, and I tried my best to regain control of my muscles. But whatever hit me from the back, it worked like a PPC bolt on a mech. I was paralyzed, and I could not do anything when some men heaved me up and put me inside a vehicle.

Who were these people? What did they want from us? My only supposition was they were La Cosa Nostra. They reckoned their plan to watch me suffer had failed, so they tried their plan B: to harm me physically. But why did they take Emi? She had nothing to do with everything. I heard Emi's muffled sobs next to me. After a while, I regained control of my body, but my arms were secured behind my back. There was nothing much I could do in that situation.

I felt the vehicle moved, first smoothly over the paved road, then roughly over the terrain. It must have been at least two hours driving before it stopped. Several hands hauled me off the vehicle, and I felt fists clubbed me on the guts. My head spun as I doubled over, humbled by the pain. They forced me to kneel, and with a rough jerk they pulled the bag off my head.

I could not believe what I saw.

Kneeling 20 meters in front of me was John Daniels, his face was a bloody mess. One of his eyes was closed by a large swelling on his cheek, and his lips were doubled in size, cracking in several places. Next to him was Fifi, wrapped in ripped clothes. She showed no sign of physical abuse, but the chill air made her shiver. I could see fear in her eyes. There was a huge hole between us, and two bodies were already lying inside, riddled with holes. I remembered them as Fifi's bodyguards, and when I thought it was La Cosa Nostra's job, I spotted a lanky old man standing close to the hole, a gun on his right arm. His eyes were red with rage.

Fifi's husband.

I immediately knew that this was not a mafia job. It was simply a matter of jealousy. I figured the husband found out about our little fling, and took matters into his own hand. It was not hard to see that he had a lot more firepower than Fifi. I deserved this, so I expected the worst, which was death. But when the thugs forced Emi to kneel on my left, my brain spun. Emi did not deserve any of this. She could not pay for my mistake.

I had to take her out.

"Welcome to judgment day," the husband roared, pushing a fresh magazine into his pistol. "That's right, Parker. If you think you can get away with this, if you think you're a hot shot at Solaris that you can screw my wife behind my back, you're sadly mistaken. Every sin has a consequence, and the consequence of sin is death! And that applies to any of us, including my wife's bodyguards that failed to report this betrayal to me."

"Parker what did you do?" Emi looked at me, panic dominated her look. "Parker?"

"Shh," I calmed her down as much as I could. "I take all responsibility. I am the one you want. Let everybody else go."

"You're not the only one that I want," he hissed, playing with his gun. "It takes two to tango. My wife is as guilty as you are. And then Daniels is there too. I don't remember hearing him foiling this treachery. On the contrary, he expedited it. And for what? For the sake of my wife's pleasure? No! For his money!"

"Omar, please," Fifi whined, tears streaking on her cheeks.

"I swear to God, I had nothing to do with this," Daniels added in quivering voice. "It's all Parker's fault!"

"Shut up worm!" the so-called Omar slapped Daniels, spraying blood from his chafed lips. He then marched toward me. "I guarantee you that everybody will be held accountable for their sin. But since you're the only one that takes responsibility, I'll spare you. I'll kill you the last, who knows you'll change my mind before your time comes."

"What is her sin?" I quickly asked, referring to Emi. "She does not know anything about this affair."

"I don't know," Omar observed Emi for a while. "But I'll hang on to her."

"No!" I rose to my feet. "She is clean. Punish everybody that hurt you, but let her go."

"Shut up!" he slammed the butt of his gun on my head. "Don't take my generosity as a chance to be demanding! You are not open for negotiation! Get Daniels!"

His bodyguards heaved Daniels, who writhed and whined, begging for mercy. Omar stood at the opposite side of the hole, waiting for the bodyguards to take Daniels to the edge. I believed this was in the middle of nowhere, because Daniels' screams could have invited neighboring parties. But Omar was comfortable with, even enjoying, Daniels' cry for mercy. "Any last words, Daniels?"

"Please don't do this," he sobbed. "Please, I beg you…"

The gun cracked three times, and Daniels gasped as three bullets pierced his chest. He gurgled and squirmed against his restrained, but the bodyguards shoved him into the hole. He plummeted on top of the two dead bodyguards, jerking before lying in silence.

"Oh my God!" Emi cried. "Parker, please do something!"

I was lucky that the influence of alcohol had long gone, so I could think clearly. But I did not see many options. Omar was determined to kill everybody, including Emi. He was a mad man that was driven by jealousy, and I had to break through his wall to get to his heart. I had to use the correct weapon to beat him, or at least, to bail Emi out of this absurdity.

"It feels great to punish people that give you misery, and I cannot blame you," I tried my luck. "But what is the point of killing Emi? She does not have any connection everything. Killing her is only a waste of time, a waste of bullet, and a waste of energy, because all you feel afterward is hollow. You know this is true, so do not let it happen."

"I agree with you," Omar grinned. "But who says I want to kill her?"

That obviously did not work.

"Darling, I thought we had something beautiful," Omar moved to his wife. "I worked my ass off just to make you feel comfortable. But what did you do? You got yourself comfortable with another man. You ungrateful whore! You deserve nothing but death!"

A burst of panic sprouted in Fifi's eyes, asking me for help. But I could not do anything. If I had one chance to save somebody, I wanted to use it for Emi, not her. There was nothing I could do to prevent the bullets boring into her ribcage. Her head snapped back, and her body tensed, then slumped to the ground. The bodyguards senselessly dragged her and put her into the hole, along with her bodyguards and John Daniels.

"Get up," Omar motioned me to get to the hole. "It's your turn."

As I followed his direction, I thought how I could guarantee Emi's safety. This was my payment; I was not afraid to die. But how I could be sure if Omar did not harm Emi after he wasted me? She was a witness, and obviously Omar did not want any witness alive. Damn freebirth. I had to play him, but with what? Rectitude? He obviously did not have any. Wrath? He was already in it. Envy? I would only worsen things. Greed?

Greed?

"Any last words, Mr. Parker?" he said while I stood at the edge of the hole.

"Do you have a kid, Mr. Omar?" I replied.

"What?"

"Do you have a child?" I regurgitated. "I can make your child a star. A Solaris star."

There was a long pause, then he said cautiously, "Go on."

"Put your kid in the heavyweight final. Put me next to him. I will guard your kid throughout the entire final. In the end, I will let him win over me. Imagine how you can benefit from the betting craze. You can make a lot of money, and your kid will be put in the Hall of Fame."

"Hmm…" I heard Omar musing. "I know I will get something out by delaying your death, Parker."

"On one condition," I turned around, facing him. "Let Emi go."

"No," he smirked. "Do you think I'm stupid? You play a dangerous game here, and I need her as an assurance in case you have a different agenda. Nevertheless," he paused, looking at me with a glint of admiring hue. "I like your idea. I will see to it that your plan works the way you want it. I will let my boy to be a finalist. Then you make sure that he grabs the championship. And he better be the champion, Parker. Otherwise, you can visit Emi at the slums of Cathay."

"I want her out of here," I stressed every word. "That is non negotiable."

"Oh really?" Omar pushed his gun under my chin. "How about you dead, and she goes to Cathay slums? Be careful of your attitude, Parker. You have a great brain, and you can milk it, but your attitude can be the death of you."

"Alright," I conceded. "I will do it. But I want Emi out by the way your kid gets the championship. If you do not honor this agreement, I will make your life miserable."

"Deal," he nodded. "Remember: if any of this leaks to the world outside, I will hunt you down, and I will kill your entire family and friends. Your lineage will end at you. And don't think you'll lose me by escaping Solaris. My arms extended beyond worlds, and I have friends in almost all major planets in the Inner Sphere."