NINETEEN

Solaris Starport, Solaris VII,
Freedom Theater, Lyran Alliance,
February 21, 3065

The Union dropship was two hours away from liftoff, but I already glanced at my clock for the dozenth time. Anything could happen in two hours, and I did not want anything to happen. I wanted everything to go smoothly, so I could get out of here. The heavyweight circuit stamped a strong impression in my mind that I did not want to do anything with Solaris in the near future.

"Nervous?" Emi said, breaking the silence. "Looking at your watch won't add a minute to it."

I answered her with a smile. Emi should never be a part of this mess. She should have been serving beers at Thor's Shieldhall, oblivious to anything but arena fighting. Quitting her long-time job for an uncertain future was very bold, yet very precarious. She did not know anybody at Atreus, and she did not have any skill that Atreus could benefit from. She was gambling with her future.

But it was her only choice. After the last encounter with Solaris underground crime, her life would never be the same. Solaris was not her home anymore, and this city would always present her with the recollection of greed, envy, and death; things that she had never been exposed to before she met me. I had to make it up to her. How, I did not know precisely. There should be something at Atreus that I could help her with.

"I am sorry that you have to leave Solaris," I murmured. "I should never drag you into my life."

"Yeah, me too," she replied in a long sigh. "But things happen for reasons. Maybe it's time for me to stop wearing the apron. It feels bleak now, but it may be a first step to become something that I really want. Look, I crave for a little snack. Care to join me to the shop?"

I shook my head. "I will wait here."

She grabbed her purse and left me. I looked at my watch, and just like she said, it did not go any faster. I grabbed some magazines from a small table about 5 meters away. I thought reading would take my mind away for a while. But when I came back to my seat, three men were waiting. One of them was Omar.

"Leaving somewhere?" he grinned, spitting his sarcasm.

"You had your money, and your son is up there with the greats of Solaris," I spoke in disdain. "You have proven yourself to be an honorable man by releasing Emi unharmed. I believe we do not have any other business. That said, it is none of your concern where I am going."

"Why leaving so soon?" Omar widened his smile, showing off his well-kempt teeth. "You've been a great surprise to the world of Solaris for the past 3 years. And I see that your aptitude in politics is only preceded by your expertise behind a battlemech console. Surely you don't think that there's nothing more you can do at Solaris, do you? Opportunities will present itself to you."

"Mister Omar, do understand this," I put myself right in front of his face. "I am never an ornament of politics. I did it because you made me. I take no pride in it. You will be greatly disappointed if you push this assumption of yours to meet your personal deeds."

"Always an honorable warrior, aren't you… Darien Kerensky?"

If I expected to hear that name, I expected it from the likes of Kyle Garret or Captain Morton. I never expected that Omar would find out my real name. True, his wife might have told him who I was, but not my name. Having access to my name meant he had longer arms that I originally suspected.

"The medics at Indrahar," I growled. "You talked to them, did you not?"

"Doesn't matter whom I talked to," he smiled in victory, knowing that he had grabbed my attention. "It's just a simple footnote that I am a meticulous man. I can find who you really are. I know where you're going. And by Jerome Blake, I can find that cute little waitress of yours no matter where you hide her in the universe."

Bringing Emi before negotiation showed me that he had something big in his mind, and he had no intention to lose. He knew how I feel about being blackmailed, and he freely used it. I came close to grab his neck and twist it, but it would not solve the problem. He might have agents that had Emi already. Dear Kerensky, would this ever stop? "What do you want?"

"The money I get from the heavy circuit was enough to start a new stable," Omar explained. "I hired the best techs around, best mechs available, and best weapons around. What I don't have is best pilot. I have some rookies that won't stay long in the game. I want you to fight under Omar's Wildcats stable."

"You already have a champion in heavy circuit," I mocked him. "You do not need me."

"I like your sense of humor, Parker, but this is not a time for a joke," Omar grimaced. "This is not something that you can consider. The new season is looming, and I expect you to start taking control of my new mechs within 2 weeks. I have some Clan mechs that you can fit yourself into. I am trying to make you as comfortable as possible. All you have to do is fight. After all, it's what you're made for, am I right?"

It looked like I would never get to Atreus. I could sense from his tone that he was deadly serious about what he said. And I figured that he had armed himself with the knowledge about me. I could not pull off the same trick twice. I had to find another way to outsmart this ruthless man. But first, I had to eject Emi out of this mess.

"I have two conditions," I said. "First, Emi is out of Solaris. Now."

"Alright," he agreed. "I'll let her go for now. I will not harm her in any way, considering she can keep her mouth shut. I believe she'll behave. But show me a glint of betrayal, and I will find her. You know how I feel about treachery, don't you Parker?"

"I have no doubt that you will do as you say," I replied. "Second: if you know so much about me, then you should find out that I once had a personal mech. It was a heavily modified Executioner, or Gladiator in your tongue, called the Red Baron. I will only fight for you in this mech."

Omar's pupils dilated as my unexpected demand struck him like a barb. Evidently he lacked the knowledge about this fact, and it was clear that he did not like to be backed on a corner. A shot of fury flamed in his eyes, but he decided to let it play. "And where do I find this… Red Baron?"

"Last time: Wotan, 3061. As for now, I do not know. But you are the meticulous one, are you not?"

"Do you think you can play games with me?" he unleashed his pent-up fury. "I have been patient to deal with your insolence, Parker, but you are pushing your luck! Maybe you like it when I show you what I'm capable of. That'll teach you a lesson to not mess around with a wrong guy!"

But of course, I was playing a game. My Gladiator was smashed to bits by Jerome Helmer. I left it at Wotan, and if the Jade Falcon did not acquire it, it would be almost impossible for Omar to claim it. He could always buy a refurbished Gladiator on the market and claimed it as my Red Baron. But Gladiator was such an expensive mech. Combining with maintenance and modification cost, it would suck him dry. I did not know how persistent Omar was, but if he realized he would never get it, hopefully he would give up on me and let me go.

"Do you expect me to fight my heart for you when you do nothing as comfortable?" I maintained my calm but firm attitude. "You cannot expect a long-term mutualism with minimal effort. Perhaps you need to learn what business really means."

"Alright, fine!" he finally conceded. "I will find this mech of yours, but you have to stay at my stable and train other pilots how to do maneuvers like yours. Whenever I bring in your mech, you will lead my Wildcats to the arenas and win every competition they are scheduled in. And remember," he moved closer to me. "I am the meticulous one. I can find anything about you, including where you stuff Emi. You don't want to see her back at Solaris, do you?"

"No, Mr. Omar, I do not," I stepped back.

"Good!" he forged a smile. "Two weeks, Parker."

He turned around and left. I wished Emi did not have to witness that, but we had been talking for quite some time. She was there, although a bit farther, but she saw everything. By the look in her eyes, I knew she understood what it meant to us. "We are not going to Atreus, are we?"

"No," I shook my head. "Forget Atreus. Here is what I need you to do. Go to Gemini Stable and find Kyle Garret. Tell him everything you saw, and tell him Omar is after you so you cannot stick around. Ask him to get you to Tecumseh in Davion warship. Not regular jumpship, but Davion warship. Do not settle for less. If you do not get just one of these demands, come back and see me. I will be here for a long time."

"But…"

"I value our friendship, Emi, and I am sorry for everything I did."

"Will we ever meet again?"

"Who knows?" I smiled. "Goodbye, Emi."

"Goodbye," she gave me a hug. "You're the best customer I've ever had."

I felt bad sending her to Kyle without talking to him first. I figured he was still mad at me for what I did on the heavy circuit. But this was the time when I had to ask for reinforcement, and I knew he would understand. He was just a rare kind of guy that Clans regarded with honor.

Thor's Shieldhall, Solaris VII,
Freedom Theater, Lyran Alliance,
March 2, 3065

I was enjoying my quiet time in my favorite corner when Kyle visited me.

"It's not the same without Emi is it?" he took a seat in front of me.

"How is she?" I had to ask.

"Natalie's taking care of her. Not even Kurita's O5P can find her, if that's what you're concern about."
(Note: O5P - Order of Five Pillars, Kurita's Intelligence Agency)

"Thank you," I flashed a smile of gratitude.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he complaint. "The Davions are behind your back. Morton would like to help you with a pest like Omar. Do you think you're conversant enough with Solaris gimmicks that you dared yourself to take on these thugs by yourself? And now you're committed yourself to Omar, a crook that thinks he owns the entire Solaris. What the hell happened to you, Parker?"

"I do not know," I stared at the ceiling. "I thought I did, but I am obviously clueless."

I tried to chug the remaining beer, but Kyle snatched it from my hand. "This is not healthy."

"Is it your hobby to pry into other's life?" I fumed. "Why can you not mind your own business? Or is it your problem that you do not have a problem of your own, so you have to make other's yours?"

"What is your problem?" Kyle snarled.

"You!" I roared. I did not care about other customers anymore. I did not know why Kyle ticked me off so much by his kindly gesture. I just had to steam up at him. "Do you think that because I ask your help you have a right to tell me what to do? Do you think your relationship with Evee gives you the audacity to treat me like a kid? Do you think you own me? I have been patient long enough, Kyle Garret, to endure your harassment. This ends today. Just leave me alone!"

"Gentlemen, I must ask you to leave," suddenly security guards stormed our table.

It was not even the same Thor's Shieldhall that welcomed me the first time I set my feet on Solaris. With a brusque move I slammed some c-bills on the table, then scrambled out of the door. My lungs were full of rage, and I felt the urge to explode. I rushed through the busy street, blasting through the crowd, until I arrived at the riverbank. I felt as if I could swallow the entire river in one gulp.

I did not know what was happening anymore. I had turned into a different person, and I did not want it to happen but I was powerless to stop it. I felt it sucking me into its abyss, but I could only watch myself fall into it. I thought going out of Solaris was the best thing to do, but Solaris did not want to let me go. It gripped me with its iron claw so hard I could not breath.

"You miss her, don't you?"

Kyle's comment pierced my chest. All the pent up rage puffed out in an instance, replaced by a crisp emptiness. Was it possible that everything happened as my vain attempt to fill this emptiness? The alcohol binge? The unending fight in the arena? The constant irritation at Kyle Garret? I wished I could step out of myself and inspected myself from afar, because right now I could not think.

"Every day, every hour, every minute," I sat on the pavement on the riverside. "Some days more than others. But we were done. She made it clear that I was not in her life anymore."

"Is that so?" Kyle sat right next to me. "I remembered when she revealed your existence for the first time. She said I never knew if I could fall for a Clanner. Hell, I could easily marry a prince and live off unending wealth and joy. But Parker is different. I don't know if this is the real him or just the amalgam of his old self and his interpretation of Inner Sphere's lifestyle. He's everything I see in a soul mate."

Soul mate. She called me a soul mate. Not coffin mate, not bedmate, but a soul mate.

"But I had destroyed every chance to get back to her, so much that the only things left are dreams. I had sex for career. I fixed a match to get out of trouble. All I wanted was one shot at Atreus, to know everything that I miss about myself. But the longer I am here, the more I desecrate myself."

"I don't know," Kyle sighed. "I can't speak for her. It's something you need to straighten up with her. But you know what she sees in you. She loves you for what you are. If you go to Atreus, you'll go back to your archetypal Clan personality, or worse, you'll turn into somebody else. You'll recollect things that she values the least, but you'll lose the only thing she treasures the most – yourself."

I never looked at it that way. How could I be so blind? I remembered, back in Engadine, Megi said that Spheroids did not always use their brain to make a judgment. Sometimes they thought with their hearts. I never understood how they could do it, but to win Evee back, I had to understand it. Otherwise, we would always be strangers, no matter how much we loved each other.

"So what do you think I should do?" I mused.

"It's up to you. Now that Emi was out of the picture, you can just bail out to New St. Andrews. Just be honest to her. However, if you want to get it even with Omar, we can make use of your situation."

"What do you want?" I asked, curious about any possibility to square things with Omar.

"Steiners," Kyle responded. "Their domination in the assault circuit has been going on for generations. Breaking their domination at Solaris will blow the morale of Steiner troops everywhere in the Inner Sphere. We need it to make our final push to oust Katherine out of New Avalon."

"Of course, what else should I expect?" I asked rhetorically. "You and your stravag civil war."

"What can I say, Parker? I'm a Davion," Kyle smiled. "Anyway, the Steiners are getting jittery with Omar's Wildcats stable. They will see Omar as a threat to their propaganda, and they will ask you to join La Cosa Nostra to support the Steiner. Play them along. Report to me whatever move they make, but never yield to their demand. Let La Cosa Nostra destroy Omar's Wildcat. Fight fire with fire. Then we'll hit them when they expect the least. Do you think it's plausible?"

I liked the idea of being the instrument of Omar's downfall. Besides, I missed Evee, but I could not go down to New St. Andrews in this condition. I lost a considerable amount of self-esteem. I had to rebuild myself, and perhaps helping the Davion winning the civil war would boost my confidence. I did not know much about the civil war, but I thought Evee wanted Kyle to be on the winning side, no matter what side it was. At least I could give her that much.

"There is one problem," I stated. "I told Omar that I would only fight for him if he provides me my old mech that I brought from Arc Royal. But I did it just to exhaust him. The mech was lost at Wotan. I was hoping that Omar would get tired looking for the mech that he would eventually let me go."

"See, Parker, you're spending so much energy on details that you're missing the big picture," Kyle sank his elbow into my ribcage. "I have 2 Jade Falcon bondsmen serving the Shooting Stars. How hard do you think it is to make use of them to get your mech back?"

"How are you going to give it to Omar without him noticing?"

"Leave it to me," Kyle stood. "If you agree to do it, you'll be back in the opening game in your old mech."

If I agreed to it, I knew I had to stay for another season. I had to face the same politics that shredded my dignity to pieces. But this time, I needed it. I needed to feel proud about myself, to realize that I had not lost my rectitude. I needed it before I could meet Evee face to face.

"Then you have my allegiance," I offered Kyle a handshake.