Well, here ya go…second update today...lol...

What Am I doing? Part One

Sakura stared at her father, who was picking up some glass as he through them in a trash bag. Most of the glass was picked up, which meant he was in the room for a while.

"I accidentally broke it. Sorry, I'll accept full punishment." She said, slightly above a mumble.

"You don't 'accidentally' tare up your mirror with a kunai, dear. I see the marks."

"I'm sorry…I was just…"

"What? Finally realized that monster doesn't love you?" He father asked, it was serious yet, not fierce and atrocious. Sakura remained silent. She took in a breath and clamped her eyes shut.

"I told you so, you werent' ready. I try to protect you…and you go and be stupid." He spoke in a fatherly way, it was cruel like he usually spoke to her about relationships. It was as if he actually cared.

"Go away." Sakura mouthed, only a small sound came out her mouth. She repeated with a bit more volume. And he looked towards her.

"Telling me what to do? I just told you that I try to protect you.." His tone was now angry. Talk about moodswings..." And you try to tell me to leave! You're just gonna run off to see that monster…aren't you?"

"No. Just go away…he's not a monster…"

"Hah…whoever thought…" He said, walking out the room, anger slipping through his body like trails of sweat. "Whoever thought my daughter would be some slut. First that Sasuke boy…then that Keitaro guy…now this sandman…" Sakura turned to look at her father after what he had said to her, he was already down the hall, out of her sight. She couldn't' even glare at him. She tore up everything. She kicked her book and shelves to the floor, everything all over the place. She pulled down her curtains, grabbing her kunai and ripping them apart. Round housing a kick into her dresser, it collapses to the floor as well. She dropped the kunai and through her fists at the wall. Over and over. Right left. Right left. Right left.

Until she went into her bathroom, punching anything in her sight, though she could hardly see, her tears flooding her sight. She grabbed the bag of glass shards and cried even harder. The angry kunoichi slammed her fist into the bag, crying out loud, not caring that people heard her. Her door couldn't' be shut anyways, it was broken up. They hadn't replaced it yet. Her father and mother didn't' come the last time she broke glass. She looked at her bloody and shredded hand, pieces of skin hanging on only by bit. Her knuckled appeared unsightly to her. She grabbed the bloody hand and walked over to the sink. What was she doing? Sakura picked out the shards of her hand. The first one hurt the most. She pulled slightly and bit her lip to the point that it bled. She was used to pain, she was a ninja. But this pain she felt inside and on the outside was just unbearable.

She pulled out another one, and bit down some more.

"I'm guessing that you need some help, neh?" A deep voice came from behind her. It was by her window. They were now walking up to her bathroom, they were standing behind her. She looked at the bloody mirror piece to look at who it was behind her. Though her tears she could barely make out the masked face, sliver haired, laid back-perv-of-a-teacher, Kakashi. Sakura knew that she was in deep now. He probably saw it all. Just by the way she looked now.

"Sensei…I'm sorry…I was just…"

"Being careless?" He said, looking at her hand aiming his hand over to the bloody mess, to inspect it. He gently held her hand up in his own to look at it. Sakura bit her lip hard at his touch. She felt even worse that he knew she done it herself.

"That much love eh? I guess I'd never really know much about that…but…you being a medic nin, should know better than this…right?" He said to her, picking out a piece. Sakura sent some chakra through her arm to her hand to numb the pain.

"But then again…I have no idea what's going on now…" Kakashi said through a sigh.

"i…my…mm…uh…" Sakura kept opening and closing her mouth, unsure of what to say.

"But I can see this isnt' the first time you've dealt with these pieces of glass…" He said, looking at her other wrist, which still had that deep cut.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I won't make you tell me what's going on. But you need to figure out what you're doing…"

"Sensei. I'm fine." Kakashi sighed and picked out the remaining pieces. He then began to heal it. He had to learn how to use some medic techniques since Sakura was gone from the team for so long.

"So I guess I can tell Tsunade-sama that too?"

"NO!" Sakura said, panicked and slightly a bit louder than she was talking before….well, much louder.

"I'm not hurting myself on purpose, my temper has just, taken a different turn lately…and it's not PMS either…I just…want him so bad…and I can't have him…"

"I doubt tearing up your room will really get you any closer to having him"

"and my father…his temper…he just doesn't' know when to quit…" Sakura said, shaking her now restored arm to get blood flowing a bit better. It wasn't' healed completely, but it was well enough. Her sensei was now working on the other cut on her wrist. She pulled away.

"You don't have to heal that one…" She said, smiling sweetly. He sighed and kept healing it. "please, I really don't' need you to heal it…"

"Sakura."

"What?" She asked, slightly annoyed since he just kept healing it. She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her.

"Cooperate with me. What did your father do?"

"I won't tell unless you stop healing it…and I'll just reopen it anyway." She pouted. He nodded and stopped. No need for him to waste his chakra when she'd just open it up again. "he called me a slut." Kakashi cracked his neck.

"And why would he say that?"

"He said…'first…' ". Sakura paused abruptly and ran to her bed. Kakashi patiently stood in the bathroom, washing the blood off the floor as he waited for her to come back. He hadn't an idea that she took a kunai off her bed.

"First Sasuke…" She placed the blade on her skin, her arm that had the first cut on it.

Kakashi walked out the bathroom and watched her. "then Keitaro…" She pushed it lightly into her skin, not drawing any blood. Kakashi stood there and listened.

"And then…" She lifted up the blade, above her head, about to thrust it into her skin. "Gaara." She said, bringing the blade down.

Smack.

It flew through the air, hitting the floor to her right. A hand on her arm that was halfway from stabbing her own skin. Kakashi gripped her arm hard. He was now even more serious. " what are you doing? Stop. It. " Sakura just whispered through her weeping.

"Gaara-kun…"

"You're being foolish. Don't' let him get to you." He then sighed and let her hand go as she collapsed to the floor. Kakashi walked over to the window and looked back to the girl.

"The Way of the ninja is similar to the way of life.. Rules are meant to be broken. Don't' let yourself follow them too strictly, or you'll fail. Don't let your flesh and blood stop you from something more important. He will understand in the future. But for now, I must be off, I'm just a worried neighbor…" Kakashi said to her, waving after his last few words then disappearing into the night.

Sakura then noticed something.

"Sensei's my neighbor?"

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Well, short, but the second part will have more Gaara in it, I need to focus on her though…Heehee well, I'll update next week I guess.