Chapter 2

Reid found himself late to work again for the second time that week. Hotch was definitely not going to be happy with him. As far as he knew, they didn't have a case yet, so he was hoping to sneak in to the bullpen without Hotch noticing him from through his office window.

Struggling to sleep yet again, Reid was exhausted by the time he entered the office. Both his sister and Morgan suggested he take some time off – that he was going to make himself sick if he continued the way that he was going. He appreciated the concern, but sitting at home with nothing to do would only make matters worse, and deep down, he knew that Morgan and Liv both knew that too, which is why they didn't push the subject further.

His short hair going in all directions and dark circles under his eyes made it clear to everyone in the office that Reid hadn't slept well in weeks. His dress shirt was wrinkled and his tie was all sorts of messed up. He ran his fingers quickly through his hair and quietly slipped into his seat, trying to ignore the stare from Morgan sitting across from him.

Without saying a word, Morgan pushed a store-bought coffee in Reid's direction. Thankfully, Reid took it and mumbled a quiet "thank you".

"So Kid, how bad is the headache today?"

"I'm fine," Reid said, looking down at the load of files waiting to be finished on his desk.

"That's not what I asked, Reid." Morgan continued to look at Reid with genuine concern.

Reid sighed. "I know. I just… It's not that bad today, I guess", he said leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes for a minute while the dull pain throbbed behind his eyes. His hands trembled as he took a sip of the coffee. "Coffee usually helps a bit"

"And the… you know?" Morgan said in a low voice, ensuring that only Reid had heard what he said.

"They're bad," is all Reid could say about the cravings. He massaged his forehead with his hand and willed his headache to stop. "I just need to sleep. That's all I need." He could feel that he was reaching his breaking point, but was helpless to do anything to stop it. He was so exhausted all the time, but every time he closed his eyes he was plagued by the visions of the last few cases they'd had. Cases involving children were always the worst, and they'd had three in a row – the stress was getting to all of them by now. Reid couldn't stop that one thought that was driving him crazy – he would be able to sleep if he could just get his hands on a small dose. Just enough to let him sleep for a night. Reid was well aware of how useless that would be… drugs were what got him to where he is now, but the addict in his head wouldn't quiet down nonetheless. Once an addict, always an addict. He also found that he was continually forgetting to eat, always preoccupied with his thoughts and not even noticing the hours that flew by. Morgan caught on to that from the very beginning, quick to make sure Reid would eat whenever the two were together at work. He had been keeping an extremely close eye on Reid lately.

The thought scared Reid more than anything – he was losing his ability to take care of himself. Forgetting to eat, not sleeping. Liv and Morgan assured him he was just going through a rough time and that it happened to everyone at some point or other, but it never failed to make him think of his mother and how he could so easily imagine himself spiraling down into insanity. After all, he didn't feel that far from it at the moment. He never openly admitted that to Morgan, but sometimes he got the notion that Morgan already knew anyways.

"Hang in there, Pretty Boy. We'll think of something. Just remember – please take it easy", Morgan said, and seeing the look on Reid's face he added, "I know you don't want to hear it, but you look about ready to drop, so even if you can't sleep, maybe you should just take some time to lie down and rest a bit. If you keep burning it at both ends like this, you're going to drive yourself crazy… And sick."

These conversations had become normal between the two – Reid's struggles being an open book between him, Morgan and Olivia. They talked openly about them when they were with him, knowing that his recovery from addiction involved a conscious effort every day, so it was no longer an awkward subject between them. They had been with him through the worst of his withdrawals and every step of the way after that, so there was no use in trying to hide just how badly he really was feeling – the two of them would see right through it.

The other team members had taken notice, but never confronted Reid directly about it. He would sometimes feel their sideways glances at him, or see their worried looks when he would occasionally lose his train of thought in the middle of explaining one of his theories on a case they were working on.

Little did Reid know that Hotch had already approached Morgan one day, and left seemingly satisfied with the promise that Morgan would be watching Reid closely, making sure he didn't overwork himself on a case. Reid knew he had the whole team worried, but there was nothing he could do; it was getting harder and harder to hide just how burned out he was.

"Have you talked to your sister lately?" Morgan asked, not having talked to her for a few days himself and figuring he should reach out at some point soon.

"I talked to her a couple nights ago after we got back from the case in Texas. But I think she's been pretty busy with work so other than that, no", Reid said. He knew Liv and Morgan talked about him all the time but it was what it was – there was nothing he could do about it.

It was almost ten o'clock by the time Reid had gotten started on his files. Morgan would continually glance up at Reid from time to time – never saying anything, but just keeping an eye on him as always. It stopped bothering Reid a long time ago, as he knew that Morgan had every right to be worried about him. Sometimes he was even thankful for the attention; it was nice knowing people cared about him.

Just then, the door to the bullpen swung open and a familiar face appeared. Reid stood up just in time for his brother-in-law to approach him. Instantly, Reid's heart dropped into his stomach, and he knew something was horribly wrong. Everything about John's presence was wrong – he should have been in Connecticut and he definitely should never be here. Jonathan's eyes screamed worry and fear, and when he got to Reid all he could do was confirm Reid's fears that something had happened to his sister.

"Liv's gone", he said.