Author's Note: Wow, I am so sorry for waiting so long to post this… I've had so much going on in my life and this got put on the backburner. It's been a rough few months, but I figured maybe writing would somehow be therapeutic, so let me know what you think of this chapter. Thanks for everybody who's following this story!

Chapter 6

"Reid, man – you gotta eat", Morgan said, pushing a sandwich in his direction. JJ had picked up food for the team while they were working on the possible connections between the five women. Reid just stared at the foil-wrapped sandwich and grimaced in disgust. Morgan sighed and looked at Reid with worry in his eyes. "I know you're not hungry, but you're not going to help your sister any if you collapse because you haven't been eating. I know your sister, and I know that despite everything happening right now, she would want you to be taking care of yourself."

Reid just nodded slightly, lost in thought. He could feel himself slipping through the cracks. The cravings were becoming unbearable. He felt completely useless because he couldn't get himself to think straight - he knew that if he could clear his head, if he could just have a couple hours to think, he could solve this case and bring his sister home safe and bring peace of mind to the other four victims' families. His hands shook all the time now and he kept dropping things, fumbling with files… Hell, he could barely put his tie on at all in the morning anymore. Reid was falling apart at the seams. Reid had kept a very well- hidden stash of Dilaudid, just in case – he never really understood why until this very moment. If he could shoot up just once, he could clear his head… No. Liv and Morgan would kill you… But if you don't solve this case, you'll never see Liv again.

I need it... I need it... I need it…

"C'mon Reid, do it for Liv," Morgan reasoned, pushing the food closer to Reid and pulling Reid out of the internal battle within his own head. Deep down, Morgan was drowning in worry for his friend. The more he watched Reid, the more he was reminded of Reid going through his most recent bout of withdrawals – the disheveled appearance, the shaking hands, the tired look in his eyes.

Morgan wasn't sure how long Reid would be able to hold out and he knew that he wouldn't be able to handle it if he lost his sister. Reid was looking really sick and he knew that Reid wouldn't slow down until they solved the case. As much as Morgan was trying to suppress the worry that weighed down on him, it continually crept up on him time and time again along with a sense of panic, as Morgan had no idea how to help Reid through this.

Reid finally began pulling at the foil that was wrapped around the sandwich and every couple minutes or so, he would take a small bite of it. He looked as if every bite was a battle for him. After a while, Reid excused himself quietly from the debriefing and found his way to the bathroom.

Reid found the bathroom empty when he arrived and his hands shook so badly that it took him a good minute to lock the door behind him. He was out of breath at this time and he desperately willed his throbbing headache to ease. He collapsed in front of the toilet and lost what little food Morgan had forced him to eat. By the end, he was left dry heaving and sweating profusely.

I need it…

Just once. To save his sister. Reid never ever told his sister or Morgan that he secretly still had a bottle left of Dilaudid. He kept it in a very safe place – and until now it had served as a reminder of his strength. That he could live in his apartment day after day, sober, despite constantly being in the company of the source of his addiction.

For a while, Reid sat there, contemplating his options. Finally, his mind made up, he shakily pushed himself from the bathroom floor. He threw some water on his face and dried it with some paper towels. He went back into the conference room and grabbed his bag.

I'm doing this for her…

"Reid, are you alright?" Hotch looked on with concern.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. I just need to get some air for a while – clear my head if that's okay. I need to look at this case with a fresh perspective," Reid talked quietly, avoiding eye contact with Hotch.

"Of course – take the time you need to, Reid," Hotch said, not missing the look in Reid's eyes. He wasn't quite sure what the look was, but it raised a red flag in the back of Hotch's mind.

Reid turned his back to the rest of the team and headed out the door, already lost in thought. Now that his mind was made up, his veins screamed for the drug they had been deprived of for months.

Just this once… To find Liv.

Before he was even aware of it, he was inside of his apartment, to his secret hiding spot, feeling the bottle and the syringe in his hand. Reid's heart was already racing. He was desperate – he couldn't live like this anymore – he needed clarity… And Dilaudid gave him clarity. He found it funny that he was sicker without the drugs than with them.

Reid sat on the floor of his bathroom, his back leaning against the tub. He rolled his dress shirt sleeve up over his elbow. At this point, Reid's hands were shaking so violently, he almost couldn't tie the tourniquet around his arm. Pulling it tight with his teeth after some difficulty, he finally had it to satisfaction. Reid could barely think straight at this point. His body took over, going through the motions it was so familiar with already.

He pulled the syringe out of its package, stuck the needle inside the bottle, and began pulling the plunger back, seeing the clear liquid filling the barrel of the syringe. Reid pulled back not to the amount that he should have now, but the amount he had been taking right before he called it quits. He knew this was more than enough to clear his head, that the tolerance he had built up before was gone now, but at the moment, he couldn't care less. He just needed relief. A lot of relief.

Lost in his own world, Reid tapped the syringe to get rid of any air bubbles and mentally prepared himself for the upcoming euphoria that his body had been screaming for. His head was ready to split, and he wasn't going waste time. He steadied the syringe against the inner crook of his arm.

Just as he went to push the needle in, a forceful hand pulled on his arm that held the syringe. He looked up to see Morgan kneeling next to him, holding onto Reid's forearm with one hand, and grabbing the syringe from Reid's hand with the other.

He hadn't even heard Morgan come into the apartment. Morgan didn't even try to say anything – didn't try to scold him, didn't even shake his head at Reid. He quietly emptied the syringe and stuck the bottle into his own pocket.

And with that, Reid's heart sank, his hopes of finding his sister deflated, and he finally let all the stress that had been building inside of him for weeks overwhelm him. He sat on the floor of his bathroom while the tears began to flow uncontrollably from his eyes, and he knew that he had officially hit rock bottom.

"Please"

Through the tears, Reid found himself begging Morgan for the syringe back – for the drugs back. Every word that spilled out of his mouth proved to Reid that he was as low as he could get: so pitiful that he was begging his friend to give him his drugs back so he could escape. But he found that no matter how hard that he tried, Reid couldn't stop.

"Please… I-I need it."

Reid was breaking Morgan's heart. Morgan looked on as he watched his friend sitting on the floor of his bathroom, crying hysterically, desperate for something that would relieve him of his pain. But Morgan knew that the relief was temporary, that it would cause him even more pain in the long run – and he cared too much about Reid to let that happen. He had seen right through Reid's bullshit "I need some air" excuse to Hotch. They all saw right through it, but only Morgan had any idea what Reid was really up to. Morgan didn't know where Reid had gotten this stash, but he was secretly hoping that this was all there was. He knew just how desperate Reid was, but Morgan couldn't let him find it this way. He had worked way too hard to throw that progress away.

Morgan sat with Reid on the floor of that bathroom for some time, a hand on Reid's shoulder that shook with every sob. He could see Reid's logic, and Morgan wished that Reid could have the clarity that he desired – it would really help the case, but Reid would have to find it another way.

Reid finally tired himself out, and as he sat there with Morgan, a seriousness settled in his chest. The tears stopped flowing, but his face was still wet with them. Reid stared straight on, lost in his own mind.

"We won't find her alive," Reid said quietly.

"Reid, don't you dare say that. Don't give up on me like that. Don't give up on your sister like that," Morgan lectured. "Look at me," he said. Slowly, Reid made eye contact with Morgan.

"You are going to clean yourself up, shake yourself off, and we're going to solve this case and we will bring your sister home alive and safe. I know how awful this is for you and if I were in your shoes, I would have been so far gone but you're so much stronger than I am. You're stronger than all of us are and I need you to remember that. You don't need drugs to figure this case out. You will get through this, but you have to believe it yourself."

"I'm just so… tired."

"I know Kid, I know." And with that, the two sat for a while in silence, both picturing the road ahead of what might be. They had five victims and no connection, no leads. They were screwed unless they stumbled upon a miracle.