Hello! So, I must warn you all that it's gonna get dark, but as the amazing Florence would say "it's always darkest before the dawn". And what a dawn it will be. Thank y'all for the faves and follows, oh and the reviews! I like people to tell me what they think for real and I'm grateful you did!
As always, a huge thank you to my beautiful beta Betty Drake! And also Franjp, because she's been so excited about this story and it makes me happy lol
Hope you enjoy it!
"3rd LIFE"
Christmas this year had been lonely for both of them. Emily caught up with her mother and even though the Prentiss women were developing a good relationship – one that could almost be called a fraternal situation – they still held different point of views, so to start, about many things. It wasn't like staring at the bottom of the fourth or something glass of scotch and feeling the tongue heaving.
No, this was Aaron, sitting alone in the same couch where he took the woman who must be wearing a beautiful wrap-around red dress at some fancy restaurant, probably with her mother. Hopefully with her mother. For sure, it was becoming a bad habit. One he kept to himself so it wouldn't hurt his family. 'Not as his father hurt his', he sighed to the tiny voice trembling as memories sank him back into reality. Still, it left her broken and bare. His hands were running through his hair, his head falling distractively to meet the scent of her perfume, marking his furniture as hers.
They all came back together early January; the holidays did good to all of them. To some more than others but those were just small evidences of different phases they found themselves in. Reid was entertaining JJ and Derek with some random trick, probably one he learned recently as he appeared to be the happiest person around. Dave had a cup of coffee and new suitcase, likely a new acquisition, maybe a gift.
Prentiss walked in later than usual. Once she told him once she was definitely not a morning person. He even snorted as she admitted how many alarms she used to set, so she could get up and drag herself to Quantico. Reality pained as their eyes met for a split second through the window of his office. It was one of their things. Eyes always speaking more than any words could. That first night was only a confirmation. The smallest of the smiles appeared on her face and she was back to work, uninterested in whatever the others were doing right by her side.
Hotch was confused to begin with. He felt uneven, unsteady, insecure if you could say so. But he kept his mind to what was right and pulled through, though not as easy as he supposed to. Of course he vaguely wondered, rambled and mused on a daily basis since their steamy encounter whether she indeed forgot or not. She could just be as great liar as he was.
Albeit he hated that small line of disappointment when he assured her nothing happened between them, he couldn't bring himself to admit he failed her too. Prentiss trusted him that day, she went to him with her mind and heart wide open and he used her in the most egoistical, pathetic way. He, Aaron Hotchner, whom always kept his actions on a high standard, watched his morals crumbling.
He swallowed thick as he left the walls of his isolation, "We have a case".
His cravings and his rationality battled relentlessly throughout the case. When he scanned the girl fallen to the floor, his overprotectiveness reached brutal levels and he found himself keeping Prentiss close to him, even if sometimes he couldn't bring himself to look at her without thrilling. She wasn't suitable for the unsub's M.O., he was aware, but he had to make it up to her somehow, even if it was through always having her back. At least, that was what he convinced himself of.
She told him about one of her bad habits and that smug smile he had on his face was priceless. Arms folded across his chest, hair shorter than the first time they met and Emily thought about how they wasted their youth, how they had seen the evil in the eyes of men every day, how they lost their faith in kindness and goodness and in love. It was a dismaying realization that downed on her as she found herself comparing her wild years to the girls in front of the theater.
They remained in quiet solitude, lost in their own musings as they made their way back to the local P.D. Conversation had never been one of Hotch's favorite activities and Emily was too tired to even bother to try. His hands held a vicious grip on the steering wheel, thumbs thumping the material to the rhythm of 'Martha My Dear'. It captured her attention and she found herself humming the bloody song.
A shot to the brains and one more life was gone before Reid's very eyes. The boy genius couldn't be more traumatized. He failed his mission and that made him feel miserable and worthless. Emily knew that feeling on a tight knit.
Spencer sat with JJ across him by the end of the jet, two pairs of brown eyes were watching his back silently. Maybe they should stand, use some kind words or any gesture towards their friend. But they were too lost in their own insanity as they were sitting side by side.
Hotch found himself lingering to the shapes of her profile, roaming to the curl of her parted lips through the corner of his eyes. It was not intentional or carefully planned. Something inside him was shouting and tearing apart, brick after brick, the wall he built between what was meant to be home and what was meant to be work. No, Emily was not home. But he felt a warm sensation whenever she was around, like some cosmic embrace if that rigmarole existed anyway.
He wanted to tell her. He wanted to be able to tell her the truth since she was the only one who, without a single pressure from the others, went to check on him. The older agent knew Dave cared, also did JJ, Morgan, Reid and Garcia, but he knew he hooded himself inside his gloominess, especially after Gideon's abrupt departure.
'Professionalism', he has been quipping every morning to the tired man in his bathroom's mirror.
The pages in front of the Unit Chief flowed a bit and he moved instantly to gather them together, his focus absolutely at a loss.
"Haley called me" the bitter tone muttered, sight never leaving the files he now had control over.
She only nodded, a small gesture for such dubious announcement as they fell into petrifying indifference again. Well, not for her, at least. Prentiss found herself with an unusual pity punching her self-confidence and the small voice in the back of her mind wanting to know more was now at a harsh tone, demanding her to inquire.
Hotch considered and reconsidered the words he'd slip next. Should he tell her about the subject of their conversation? He had to do that since he started the matter with her and she probably was – at least – wanting for this to be over soon. He stuck to the latter, pooling the most objective words he could use.
The moment he turned to spill it out, she was on her feet, standing in the middle of the small corridor within the blink of an eye. Opportunity gone, lines never to be finished, bridges never to be built again.
"I need coffee, do you want some?"
"Sure, thank you"
With a careless shrug, she made her way to the small kitchen, emotions flooding her depths and what the hell was that anyway? She fixed the coffee, taking all the time available. Detachment seemed a good choice to the woman putting all her efforts in what life taught her better than anyone else: compartmentalization.
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