Disclaimer I wish I owned Star Wars but I don't. I do own Kelsey so that's settled.

Chapter 18

Kelsey

"I feel bad for coming here so late," I said.

"Oh don't worry," Leia said, sitting next to me. "Sometimes it's hard to find sleep these days."

"I can imagine," I mumbled.

I sat on the couch in her room after she let me in. Leia offered me tea but I respectfully declined. I didn't want anything right now anyways. I wasn't sure why I ended up here. Maybe I needed another person to talk to. As much I wish I could talk to Luke and Han, I know I would need Leia's perspective on this situation.

"Now, would you mind telling me what's giving you a fright?" she asked.

"You would think I'm insane if I told you," I replied.

"I'd highly doubt that and believe me I've heard worst things. It's okay to tell me," Leia said.

I took a deep breath before I spoke. "I was drugged," I replied. "On Rishi."

"I know that."

"No, I mean I didn't remember but now I do."

"Kelsey..."

"I remembered. I saw myself back in that room, strapped in with no way out. I saw them with a needle with the drug. I still don't know how I survived that; let alone escaped," I said, my voice cracking a bit. "Even going through those halls, hiding away trying not to get caught...I don't know how I did it."

Now I was starting to sound nuts. At least in my case I do. I wasn't sure what Leia is thinking.

"These marks here I noticed when I was washing up," I said to her.

I pulled up the sleeve of my shirt and showed Leia the needle marks. I saw that she stared at them for a good while in shock. Then, she looked up at me with sadness in her eyes and surprised me by hugging me.

"I'm so sorry," Leia said.

"For what?" I asked, as we pulled away.

"For the torture that you had to go through," she replied. "I can imagine what you went through."

"But I don't remember that part. How could I possibly not know that part? I feel so stupid," I said, burying my face in my hands.

"You are not stupid," Leia said. "I may not be a therapist but maybe that was blocked out or a repressed memory. There is no way it's your fault."

"Hold on. You said you could imagine what I went through. How did you..."

"Know? Did Han tell you about how I was rescued?" Leia asked.

"He did," I replied.

Leia was quiet for a moment before she spoke.

"I was captured by Vader when trying to get the Death Star plans to my father's old friend from the Clone Wars," she explained. "When I was brought on the original Death Star, I too was in your position."

"But..."

"The only worst part was my home planet Alderaan was blown up; killing everyone I knew and loved and I had to witness it."

My eyes went wide and immediately my heart broke for her. There was no way I could imagine the pain she felt seeing firsthand the destruction.

"Oh my...Leia I'm so sorry," I said, as tears threatened to fall. "H-How did you..."

"Get through all of it? By fighting the fight we've all have been doing," she replied. "What we went through isn't easy but we somehow must move on in order to survive and not give up. In this day and age, it's crucial."

Leia got up from her spot on the couch and walked over towards her dresser. I saw that there she was touching a piece of jewelry.

"I didn't have time to mourn then. Though after we blew up the Death Star, I did have a moment after everything before we were spotted and had to come here. When you were brought here and we all found out what happened, I knew right then and there that you did what you had to do to get out of their clutches," Leia told me.

"I may not have seen what the Empire does before I got captured but I don't know how vile and cruel they are. Sure I've heard the stories from traveling but seeing it happen...I don't know if I can ever forget that," I said.

Leia looked over as she headed back to the couch and placed her hand on top of my hand as she sat next to me again.

"You may not realize it now Kelsey but you're so much braver than you realize," she said.

I sat there as she said all of this. Maybe somehow I got through all of it because I was brave but how could I be? That I was still trying to come to terms with. I got up from my spot as I knew it was getting really late.

"I guess," I said. "Somehow I did what I did but that's what you have to now these days? Survive and fight."

"Yeah I suppose so. Now what I also want to know is why come to me? Which I don't mind though but tonight, I didn't expect to see you," Leia asked.

"Well my brother, I don't want him to worry more than he has to after everything and Luke..." I said, trying to explain.

"You like him more than you should," Leia stated.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"I kind of figured," she replied.

"I don't know. After everything, I don't want to be treated like fragile glass or anything different you know?"

"Oh believe me I know," Leia said. "How would you think Han can handle that?"

"I mean he going to have to if me and Luke go any further," I said.

"I see."

"And why would Luke like me like that anyways?"

"Kelsey, I've seen how Luke is around you. He's more different than the shy man I met those few years ago," she replied. "Even when you were first brought in, I've never seen anyone more worried for you than your brother."

"Wow," I said, completely speechless.

"Now go get some rest. You've had quite a few days and I'll see you in the morning."

"Yep and Leia? Thanks for listening," I said.

"Of course and if you don't feel like talking to the guys; you can always come to me," she said with a smile as I left her room.

-LINE BREAK-

After I left Leia's room, the conversation we had made me a bit better but I was still trying to come to grips with it all. This wasn't going to be easy and I knew it would take a bit of time.

Telling Luke and Han however; would be a different story.

I love my brother. I know he can be off on his trips and yet he would still worry about me even when he never showed it sometimes. I know

As for Luke, I don't know how to describe this.

I do plan on telling him but at the same time, I'm afraid that he'll react badly. I don't think he will.

Oh I don't know.

As I got to my room, I stood outside for a while.

I didn't want to go inside. I didn't want to go to sleep.

I feel mentally exhausted but not physically. I didn't know if I was able to sleep after what went down. Even if I could, I could only imagine the nightmares I would have to deal with. I already dealt with that nightmare when I got here. No way in hell I was going to deal with another one.

In that moment, I knew what I decided to do.

I was going back to doing what I did best.

Hopefully finishing up that Y-Wing ship. Even if I won't finish it entirely, I want to work on it tonight.

At that moment, I decided to go into the hangar now since I won't be able to sleep. .

I went to my room and grabbed some tools and brought them with me. I only saw a few personnel out and about with whatever duties they're doing when I got to the hangar.

The cold air breezed through as I got to the Y-Wing. The ship was still in the same way as I left it before I went on the mission with the guys. I placed my tools nearby and fixed my hair into a messy high bun. I pushed the sleeves up on my shirt as I started to crawl underneath the ship and opened up the engine.

I took a second to study the engine once again before getting to work.

This was going to be a long night.

A/n Well I hope you liked this one. I wanted to get Leia/Kelsey bonding moment and see how their friendship will develop. I hope I did justice.

One or two more chapters to go! Still have yet to figure out but I don't want this to end! But fear not I got other stories up my sleeve I can't wait to write (once I get my procrastination under control. It's a terrible thing .)

Also I'm posting the new story sometime tonight or a little after this is updated. I hope the creative mind is cooperating when it comes to thinking of the new title so keep an eye out!

Leave me some love on the way out! I can't thank you all enough for your support and don't forget to review! I know you're reading this and just a simple note on the way out will be good )

See you next week!
Spike