Hey, guys! :) Update time! My heart wasn't really in this one, so sorry if it stinks. Hopefully it's still decent. Thanks to everyone who's supported this collection of one-shots! You guys are the best!

Disclaimer: Ugh. NO.

Quick Info: Arthur is King and married to Gwen. Uther is dead and Morgana is evil. The story opens up where a female thief has just stolen Arthur's bag on some nameless trip.

Drabble 8- Fit for a King

"Remind me again why we don't just go back to Camelot and send knights after her?" Merlin asked, urging his horse onwards so that he rode next to the blonde king.

"Because, Merlin," Arthur explained in a patronizing voice. "This is a matter of personal honor." If the king hoped that that would satisfy the manservant, he was disappointed.

"It's because she's a girl, isn't it?" Merlin said in a voice that clearly said that he wasn't asking a question, but stating a fact.

"Wha- no!" Arthur spluttered, glaring at his friend- er, manservant. "She stole my bag- my bag, not the knight's bag- and I need it back. We can deal with her ourselves."

"So… definitely because she's a girl, then," The smaller man said with a firm nod of his head. "Bit sexist, don't you think?"

"Merlin?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Ah! Kind sirs! How nice of you to stop here!" Wheezed the man. Arthur couldn't help regarding him with disgust; the man looked (and smelled) like he hadn't bathed in days, and his greasy hair and pot belly left much to be desired.

"Right," Arthur said, drawing out the word as he examined the somewhat run-down inn critically. "We'll take your best room."

"And dinner for you and your friend?" He asked, eyeing Arthur's clothes and no doubt calculating what money he might be carrying.

"No thanks," the King managed, wrinkling his nose as a maid carried a bowl of greenish soup past him that buzzed with flies.

"That'll be two-"

"Oh. My. Gods! It's King Arthur!" Came a shrill voice from behind the king and his manservant. Arthur cringed. He'd taken every precaution to try to avoid this type of thing. He'd wormed his way into itchy, common clothes (although they were still slightly better than most) and left anything with the royal symbol on it back in the castle. Well… almost everything. He had his ring with his seal on it, but he'd given it to Merlin to put in his bag miles back after he'd lost his.

"Here they come," Merlin muttered, sighing. He was more than used to Arthur attracting a crowd wherever he went, but that didn't mean he had to like it. However, to both men's surprise, the gaggle of girls ran past Arthur and straight to… Merlin.

"Me?" Merlin asked in surprise at the same time as Arthur echoed, "Him?" The King's confusion faded when he spotted what the girls had no doubt seen; Arthur's ring, tied to Merlin's bag.

"Me?!" Merlin asked again, shocked. Turning to Arthur, he gave him a look that clearly said 'help me!' The king smirked at his frie- manservant, enjoying his discomfort. That'll teach him to be so careless, the blonde thought gleefully.

"King Arthur, I'm afraid these girls are just too clever for you," Arthur sighed, as if feeling terrible that the 'king's' cover had been blown. Merlin just stared at him, opened mouthed, as if to say, 'what on earth are you doing?!'

"You must be Merlin, the king's servant," one of the girls said, turning to Arthur and wrinkling her nose. "Marion was right. Not very impressive, is he?"

Arthur opened his mouth to argue that no, he was not Merlin, but Merlin himself beat him to it.

"Yup, that's him, all right," the smaller man said with a look that clearly said 'payback time.' Arthur shot him a glare, but Merlin looked unconcerned. "You'll have to excuse his looks."

"Of course, your majesty," fawned another girl.

"Your majesty," said the innkeeper with a deep bow. "My apologies for not recognizing you. I'll have my best room prepared right away."

"Not recognizing me- uh, I mean, him?" Arthur asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Have you ever actually seen the King before?" The innkeeper's face turned scarlet and the girl's faces flushed a similar color. They didn't answer verbally, but both men heard the "no" anyway.

"Silence, servant," The innkeeper snapped, trying to cover his embarrassment. "You forget your place."

"That's right, Merlin, remember your place," Merlin grinned, enjoying himself too much, in Arthur's opinion.

"Maybe, sire," Arthur managed through gritted teeth. "We should find another inn."

"I think this one will do nicely," Merlin replied, trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

"I'm sure you do," Arthur grumbled with another pointed glare at his friend- manservant.

"I'll show you to your room, sire," the innkeeper wheezed, escorting Merlin away and leaving Arthur to glower at thin air.

It had been a long time since Arthur had had such a rotten day. First, he'd had to skip dinner. He'd had no intention of eating the disgusting soup, of course, but he'd caught sight of Merlin eating what looked suspiciously like turkey. His empty stomach had encouraged him to give up this stupid charade, but the innkeeper hadn't let him anywhere near the "king", and he'd been sent away empty-handed.

It had only gotten worse from there. He'd been shoved, made fun of, and just flat out ignored. The commoner's clothes seemed to get more uncomfortable as the night went on, and he'd been ordered around by complete strangers. (Really, he never wanted to come to such an outlying village again. At least back home people recognized him!)

Just when Arthur thought it couldn't get worse, the innkeeper showed him to his "room".

"This is a stable," The blonde said, not catching on immediately.

"Yeah," the innkeeper sneered. "Make yourself comfortable, boy." Then he was gone, leaving Arthur alone with his and Merlin's horses and a rather sorrowful looking donkey, which proceeded to sit on the only pile of hay that might have served as a bed.

"I've had it!" Arthur fumed. "This is ridiculous! I am a King!" The donkey looked unimpressed. The horses passed gas simultaneously.

"And now I'm talking to barn animals," Arthur sighed, anger and frustration being replaced by weary exhaustion. "I'm losing it," the king moaned as he sat with a thunk on the hard dirt floor.

The crisp night air was rapidly dropping in temperature, and the thin threadbare blanket Arthur had been provided with didn't hide the bite in the air well. The wooden stable creaked ominously in the wind, but the blonde royal just sighed. There was nothing to do but wait for morning.

"There you are!" Arthur growled, glaring at Merlin, who looked well-rested and full. The once and future king, on the other hand, had bits of dirt and straw stuck in his blonde hair and his stomach felt like an empty bowl that hadn't been full in ages.

"I rather like this inn," Merlin grinned. "It's fit for a king. We should come here more often," he added, waving at the group of girls (plus one oily innkeeper) that stood in the doorway.

"Absolutely not," Arthur snapped, mounting his horse. "We're going straight back to Camelot."

"So soon?" Merlin pouted, mounting his own beast. "What happened to chasing down that girl?"

"She can keep that bloody sack," Arthur grumbled. "Let's go," he ordered in a louder voice, urging his horse forward. Merlin followed, smirking slightly as Arthur tried to crack his stiff neck. He knew a spell that alleviated stiff muscles, and it worked well, but… well, it was such a pity magic was outlawed.

Back in the doorway, unseen by warlock and king, one of the girls separated from the others and, smirking, pulled Arthur's bag from its hiding place.

And one-shot number ocho is done! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave suggestions in the comments- I'm already running out of ideas! Until next time!