Crushing Gravity

Chapter 7

What kind of punishment is this? I think, glowering at the ground.

Why can't I just be grounded like everyone else? Granted, I already come straight home from school and lock myself in my room. So maybe I can see why Mrs. Fuller would think this to be a suitable punishment; it's the exact opposite of what I would want to do.

Which is the point, right? To make me miserable?

A cry of victory makes me glance up. The boy, Embry, was finally able to get the flames started on the bonfire. There is now a small flicker of an orange glow.

I dig another rock deeper into the sand with my toe before burying it.

"Hey," a soft voice calls and I look up to see Leah. Her expression looks strange, dancing over my bruises and bloody knuckles. "Get into fights often?"

I would think that that line was just a conversation starter if she weren't looking so serious.

"Often enough," I reply. "It's been a while."

She sits down and reaches out to my face, but she hesitates, suddenly looking doubtful and pained.

"You could have gotten seriously hurt."

"I'm always getting hurt," I scowl at her until her hands drop back to her lap. I soften. She's really not bad, I'm just not used to the concern from people around my own age. "Do they actually do anything fun out here, or is this it?" I ask critically, looking around at the lingering large people.

There are only a few that I don't recognize. A little girl that's maybe three or four years old is being entertained by Quil, who looks just as enthralled as his companion with building a sand castle.

An impossibly beautiful girl who could be ten is hanging from the neck of Jacob, and a couple is huddled, smiling, by the fire. I stare for a moment at the woman's scars. They're wicked looking, and cool.

"This is it," Leah says, surprisingly sour.

"If you don't like it," I question, "then why do you come?"

She hesitates, looking uncertain again. "I heard you were going to be here."

I'm suddenly uncomfortable sitting next to her. The gradual relaxing of my muscles, that I hadn't even noticed, tenses.

What she said was sweet, incredibly sweet, and it was sincere.

I don't know how to react to that, what to say, what to do with my hands, what facial expression I'm supposed to adopt.

I've had more interaction since I've been in this little town than I've had since being put in the system. Everything that is happening just seems so odd.

What would a normal person do? Probably hug her and become best friends, or am I leaping to conclusions? I don't want to hug her, and I don't want her as a friend.

She is very nice and I could come to care for her, I guess, but with my life that would be a bad thing.

It would figure that as soon as I accept her as a friend, as soon as I would miss her if I were gone, I'd be sent away. That's how it works, right?

"You want to walk along the beach with me?" Leah asks, drawing my eyes away from the fire that I hadn't meant to mindlessly start staring into.

Yes, I've been sitting too long; anxiety is starting in my chest and expressing itself in my muscles.

So I stand from the log and leave the strange colored dancing flames.

We walk next to each other, not touching any, and the silence is actually okay.

"Why did you start that fight?" She startles the calm, once again running her eyes over the bruises visible.

"He was pushing a kid around. I don't like people who use their strength or weight to get what they want, or pick on people just because they think they can."

"That's pretty much any man you'll ever meet."

"I hate men," I answer. "Some are alright, boys are alright, but all men are the same. They take what they want."

She stops suddenly and I'm forced to stop too or walk without her.

"Have you been hurt by a man?" She asks, looking suddenly panicked and angry, and the look doesn't seem right on her.

"I've been hurt by many people, seen many people hurt. Remember, I'm in the foster system and a lot of kids are messed up, been messed up, so bad."

I start walking again and she follows slowly, deep in thought. We walk for a long time, but I don't interrupt. I don't really feel like talking because there is suddenly a churning in my stomach.

"What's your favorite color?" She asks, and the change of topic surprises me.

"Look, Leah," I sigh. "I'm not looking for friends, okay? So, let's not do this- this- friendship-bonding-thing, or whatever it is that's happening. Can you tell the guys to just back off me?"

Leah opens her mouth, looking lost, and closes it, so I turn and jog back up to the blue fire. I have to be here; that doesn't mean I have to socialize.

My punishment ends at about eleven o'clock and Brady walks us back to the house.

I can't sleep. It's not uncommon for me to have trouble sleeping, or to have trouble sitting still long enough to fall asleep. I just can't sleep.

I can't sit still. Anxiety makes my ear fall to my shoulder and a sudder run down my spine.

I'm tempted to pop a few pills just so I can be tired enough to pass out. But I can't find it in me to get up and search for wherever I threw the bottle.

I flip over for the hundredth time in two minutes, tug the converse up, then toss them off.

Finally I stand and throw open the window. It's raining. I'm not even surprised.

This overwhelming urge to just get out hits me, and a leg is thrown over the windowsill before I can even stop to think.

The tops of my shoulders are soaked through in minutes as I stand in the flowerbed just under my window.

My bare feet are muddy, and this is so, so, stupid. There's no point to this at all.

Go back to your room, Sammy. Be good and try to get some sleep.

Yeah. Lyla's right; I really should just-

My feet carry me towards the forest.

It looks so scary and sinister. I could just imagine all the beasts and monsters hiding in the shadows.

Limbs bow low to the ground, dripping water and looking shiney even in the little light.

I'm not scared. I can prove it. I am proving it. I'm not scared at all.

The forest seems to swallow me. It shields me some from the rain, but fatter drops hit me as I walk under a certain branch.

My thumb slides between my lips, and I suck it anxiously.

I'm not scared; I'm not scared. It's just the stupid dark and stupid trees and stupid giant wolf.

I freeze.

Every part in my body suddenly locks as my skipping brain realizes what it's looking at.

A wolf, bigger than a horse, stares back at me with large brown eyes. It's a beautiful wolf, all silvery grey and slim, but it's so very terrifying.

Sammy, go back. Run.

"I'm not scared, I'm not scared," I mumble to Lyla.

And suddenly, I'm not.

The wolf's ears flatten and she lowers her head low, looking up at me from several yard away with big pleading puppy eyes.

Something strange comes over me, a pull, a need to get closer like I needed to go through my window.

I stop sucking my thumb like a baby, and reach out for it.

"Hey girl," I whisper, creeping closer.

The wolf slinks forward on her belly, and I can tell that it's a girl now, until she is near enough for me to touch.

Her fur is damp, but incredibly soft. She pushes her head up into my hand, closing her eyes and giving a rumble that resembles something to a purr.

I smile and rub her with two hands.

The forest itself suddenly isn't so scary. I'm really not scared. I feel strangely safe.

"Good, girl," I whisper. "Where's your pack? Do you have a pack?"

I sit down on a fallen log, not caring in the slightest that it's wet. My pajamas are already soaked through.

It's cold, it's really cold, but the wolf is so warm. It's incredibly stupid to throw my arms around a wild wolf and hug it. It's incredibly stupid to be out at night, in the rain, in the forest, with a wild animal.

But I can't sleep, and she's warm.

"It's okay if you don't. You don't need anyone. I don't have a pack either. I can't have one, I'll just end up leaving them."

The wolf whines and sits on her hunches.

"I didn't know wolves could get so big. I saw one at the zoo once- that was a nice foster family- and he was just as big as a normal dog. Maybe it was a normal dog and people are just so scared on the actual wolf, that they pretend the dog is a wolf," I giggle. "They lie to society so they don't look like wusses."

I sit there, talking about random things to the wolf, until the sky lightens and it stops raining. I'd have to leave for school soon, but I have enough time so I continue petting the wolf. I had fallen silent a while ago after my last pacing and restless fit.

I finally figure that it's time to go, so I stand.

"By, Wolfe, I hope I see you again," I run my hand over her ears one final time before heading back to the house.

I had walked farther than I thought I had. So much farther, but before I could start to panic, I do spot the house through the trees and I quicken my steps.

The forest had gotten scary again.

The time was later than I thought it was. Brady had already left for school and Mrs. Fuller for work. Who knows where Mr. Fuller is; I haven't actually met him or heard anything about him before.

Maybe he left, or is dead, or is rotting in jail.

Regardless, I'm late to school.

A/N: You guys, I love you. You're reviews just make me so giddy, and it's interesting to see the slight differences in the way people see my writing to the way I see it. Please keep sending me you're thoughts and I will continue to try to send somewhat quick updates.

This is the most I've been excited to be writing a story in a long time.

~Silver~