CHAPTER 16 – Q & A

Questions. Edward Nygma's life had always been dominated by questions. Who am I? What is the meaning of this cruel, savage game we call life? Why do all the other kids hate me, mom? When am I finally going to beat the Batman? How do I make them respect me? People travelled into space, or went to church every Sunday, in search of the great unknown. But there was no greater puzzle than life itself. Life was a riddle, so who better to solve it than The Riddler.

Since his recent release from Arkham, The Riddler had been keeping a low-profile. And for some reason, he felt empty when he wasn't out there, committing crimes. God, he didn't know why – he wasn't any damn good at it. Well, actually, that was the sad part. He was a genius – that he knew – and his elaborate crimes were so masterfully pulled off that if he could only do the crime and lay low, no one would be able to catch him. But, it was…the questions. They always came back to haunt him.

One of the quacks at Arkham called it a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The Riddler couldn't commit a crime without leaving clues, borne from a deep-seated compulsion to tell the truth. His answer to this, ironically enough, questions, in the form of riddles. But Batman always solved them in the end. And so, he always got caught, and was seen by the world as a joke – a failure that couldn't even succeed at being a crook.

But the world was wrong. He was no joke; he was more than pathetic little Edward Nygma that all the kids beat up after school. He was The Riddler, a criminal genius. Oh, how they scoffed when he said that. They didn't believe he was smart? Well, if he wasn't, how could he have figured out that Batman was Bruce Wayne? When it all came down to it, the mystery of Batman's identity was a riddle – one that he had solved.

The Riddler was letting all these thoughts roam through his mind as he breezed through a crossword. A five letter word that describes something ridiculous. His concentration was broken by the ringing of the doorbell. Getting up, Nygma walked over to the door, opening it to find Harvey Dent standing there.

"Harvey! Come on in," said The Riddler.

Dent walked inside, looking around at the cluttered apartment. The floor was covered with cut up newspapers, and the unwashed dishes were piling up by the sink.

"Nice place," Dent said.

"Yes, very cosy," Nygma replied, "Question: What is the District Attorney doing coming to a known criminal's place of residence all by himself…"

"He's not alone."

The Riddler spun round to where the voice had come from. Batman was now in the apartment, crouching by the open window.

"You can't arrest me, Batman," gulped The Riddler, "I'm in the process of rehabilitation…"

"I'm not here to arrest you!" snapped Batman, "I'll do that next week, when you start committing crimes again. Right now, I want you to answer some questions we have about The Joker."

"The Joker?" The Riddler asked, "How is the clown these days?"

"Dead."

"Oh."

"But before he died, he found out that I was Bruce Wayne."

The Riddler quickly looked over his shoulder at Harvey Dent.

"Don't worry, I already know," explained Dent.

"And I need to know what he'd been planning," Batman continued, "In case he'd set anything into motion before he died. Since his release, he's killed a therapy group of manic depressives with laughing gas, ran over Dr. Alan Greenberg with an ambulance, blown up a bus full of people in front of a fire station and murdered Stan Loomis' daughter. He was going to blackmail Harvey into using DA resources to frame me…"

"…Until I killed him," finished Dent.

"Congratulations, Harvey," said The Riddler, "The world's better off without that maniac running around killing everybody in sight. Such widespread murder is so…vulgar. Question: what's far more gratifying to a criminal than killing someone? Answer: Outsmarting them. Now onto your query, Bruce…"

"Call me Bruce again and you'll be spitting teeth," snarled Batman.

"Okay…erm…Batman, let's look at his crimes. Many said that The Joker was just a lunatic that killed randomly. But you above anyone else should know that The Joker was a master planner, that his actions only appeared to be random. So, Question: How are all these murders linked?"

"Irony," answered Batman, "He was telling a sick joke with each killing…"

"Yes, well that's The Joker for you, isn't it?" sighed The Riddler, "But what sets these particular killings apart? These were all part of one joke – it's just that he never got to the punchline. I read about the therapy group in the paper – Tom Barker died too, right?"

"Right," said Batman.

"He was a renowned psychiatrist – people in certain circles would even call him a hero for the theories that he had published in the past few years. Same could be said about Greenberg – a local hero. The fire department, well that speaks for itself. Ever since 9/11, people have looked at firemen like they were the reserve team of the JLA. And Stan Loomis is widely known for his links to children's charities – a real modern-day saint."

The Riddler began pacing back and forth in the apartment, talking to himself as much as his guests.

"Question: Was The Joker's aim to kill his intended targets? Answer: No. Every one of his crimes involved a death, and I'm sure The Joker enjoyed every minute of it, but the deaths themselves were incidental in relation to the main point, the "joke", if you will. What he's doing is targeting heroes, and showing that, for all the good they do, when it comes to their own lives, they are powerless."

The Riddler stopped pacing, coming to a halt in front of Harvey Dent.

"Of course, we have to assume that Batman is at the centre of all this. He'd just found out his secret identity, and if he'd ever gotten to the punchline, Batman would have been involved. But Batman was only ever directly targeted through you, Harvey? And in my opinion, that part of his joke wasn't targeted at The Dark Knight. No, he was targeting you, Mr. Dent. Think about it – your ruined face has been fixed; you've overcome all kinds of adversity to get back into the DA's office. And now you are stating your intentions to bring down organised crime for good. You're a hero, Harvey. Question: How is The Joker going to make you powerless? Answer: By making you betray everything you believe in. Which brings us to the big riddle: you're not just a hero, Batman, you're a superhero. So how would The Joker have planned to bring you back down to Earth?"

The Riddler turned to face Batman, but he was gone.

"Oh, he does that sometimes," said Dent, "I'll let myself out."

"Always a pleasure, Harvey," The Riddler replied, watching Dent walk out the door.

Well that was certainly different. The Riddler thought about how he really needed to get a new hideout. One that superheroes couldn't stop by to visit whenever they felt like it. And not only that, but the District Attorney was making house calls too!? What the hell was this, some kind of…

"FARCE!" exclaimed The Riddler, returning to his crossword. One more question answered…