CHAPTER 17 – A DRINK WITH MR COBBLEPOT
At The Iceberg, The Penguin's casino, it was after hours. Most of the building was closed off, with the lights dimmed. But in the lounge, The Penguin was sitting with Bruno, one of his henchmen. The waiter arrived to pour the men some wine.
"I don't see why you need The Joker anyway," said Bruno, sipping his wine, "And by the looks of it, he's not going to show uh...uhHAHAHAHAHA HEE HEE HO HO HA HA HA!"
Bruno's face pulled back into a hideous grin, and he collapsed dead onto The Penguin's lap. The Joker, dressed as a waiter, leaned forward, chuckling devilishly.
"More wine, Mr. Cobblepot?"
The Penguin looked with mild amusement at The Joker, stood there in a waiter's uniform, having just murdered Bruno.
"I see you got my message then," The Penguin said softly.
The Penguin pried Bruno's body off his lap with his umbrella and tossed him on the floor.
"If you're going to kill one of my employees every time we meet I may have to start charging you," he grumbled, "Good help is so hard to find."
The Joker seated himself across from The Penguin and cupped his hands under his chin.
"And what can I do for you Ozzie old boy?" he asked with a smile.
"The reason I called you here is simple," The Penguin replied, "I need your help. You are in a unique position to eliminate a problem I would very much like to get rid of. And that problem is Harvey Dent."
Joker's expression didn't change. He continued to sit there smiling that lunatic smile of his at Penguin, who promptly continued.
"As I'm sure you know, Harvey and I were never the best of friends. Frankly I never truly trusted him. Half of him was still an upright do-gooding citizen. And The Batman so frequently played on that to his advantage."
The Penguin stood up and lit a cigarette, beginning to pace up and down.
"And now it seems his good side has completely taken over. He's Mr. Upright Citizen again, back in the DA's office and planning to crack down and take out all the major underworld figures of Gotham."
Penguin turned around and began shouting, his façade of charm quickly slipping away.
"And that includes ME!!! Dent knows of some of my dealings. He still has connections. He could destroy me if he really tried. And I believe he will. It will set him in good graces with the law and the Bat. He'll be in the DA's office until he's 100 years old if he pulls this off!"
The Penguin calmed himself down, tugging at his collar.
"Which is why he must be stopped post haste. Now, knowing what an upstanding citizen I am, I cannot simply walk up to him and shoot him, nor can I hire some hitman to kill him, as the Bat is watching him closely and will track me down and fall on me like a ton of bricks. That's a headache I don't need right now."
The Penguin leaned in a little closer and smiled at the Joker.
"But a little birdy tells me that you and he have some little alliance going. I don't know what exactly you're both up to and frankly I don't care. What I will offer you is worth more than anything Dent can offer. I want you to kill Dent. If you kill him it cannot be traced back to me. And who is going to question your motive? You are The Joker. You kill for amusement, you kill for boredom, you kill because you're crazy!"
The Penguin stood back up and took another puff from his cigarette holder.
"5 million to ice Dent. Cold hard cash. What do you say Joker? Are you willing to put a permanent smile on Dent's face for me?"
The Joker smiled at The Penguin's proposition. It was clear that old Ozzie-boy liked the sound of his own voice. But The Joker loved the sound of his own voice even more. Now it was his turn to talk.
"Interesting idea, Oswald. I can assure you that I would have no problem in killing Dent. It's hard working with someone like that. After all, he's crazy!"
"Indeed," said The Penguin.
"But sadly, Harv brought our little alliance to an end by shooting me off of Gotham Bridge earlier this evening. How embarrassing, a double-crosser being double-crossed! But, on the plus side, that gives me another motive for killing him...revenge."
The Joker paused. There was something he wanted to add. He took out Dent's old coin from his pocket, casually flipping it in his hand.
"But where's the fun in just killing him? I have an idea, something that will be even more satisfying, for both of us. Something far more...funny..."
The Joker leaned forward, whispering his plan into The Penguin's ear. He then leaned back into his chair.
"And, since I wouldn't be killing him, I'd be willing to take a reduction on your initial offer. I'll settle for 4 million. The look on Dent's face will be worth more than money can buy. HA HA!"
The Penguin removed his monocle and began wiping it with his handkerchief.
"And that will be the end of his career as the DA," he finally said, "Now tell me, you didn't poison that whole bottle, did you?"
"No, of course not, Ozzie," chuckled The Joker, "Just your flunky's glass. Why waste a whole bottle of such a…fine vintage?"
The Penguin placed his monocle back on and sat back down. He poured two fresh glasses of wine, pushing one over to The Joker with his umbrella.
"Let us drink to our deal. The end of Harvey Dent and the rise of The Penguin."
They toasted and took a sip of the wine.
"As for your fee," The Penguin added, "If you succeed in pulling this off and getting rid of Dent then your fee will stand at 5 million. Call it an extra incentive to pull this off right."
"I'll drink to that," cackled The Joker, raising his glass again.