Crushing Gravity

Chapter 16

"I don't understand," I sigh, leaning my head tiredly against the window to Jacob's car. "Why are we going to Renesmee's house? She barely spoke one word to me."

Kim leans forward from Jared's lap in the back seat, careful not to brush against me. Everyone by now knows that I'll snap at them if they touch me.

"Renesmee is part of the pack, same as me or you ore Emily or Claire. The Cullens want to have a cookout to get to know the pack better," she tells me, leaning back as her boyfriend starts to speak.

"We've been on better terms with them since winter, but there is still some tension because of the species difference and the resent split."

This only serves to confuse me more.

"They know what you guys are?"

Leah glances at me from the mirror with a bit of shock. "Oh, right; I haven't told you yet. The Cullens are vampires."

My head swims with the new knowledge. I should have known. I mean, vampires, the Cullens actually, were in the history of the La Push wolves, so of course they're real too.

"Right. Of course they are."

Emily touches the back of my seat. "Are you okay, honey," she asks. That's what she calls me now, because she feels awkward calling me the same name as her fiancé.

"I didn't sleep well last night," I answer, thinking she's asking because of my drooping eyes.

Leah shoots me a concerned look.

"No, it's just, you're taking all this supernatural stuff really well. I keep expecting you to freak out at one point."

"Me too," Kim chimes. "I've had a crush on Jared for the longest time, and when he finally told me, I ran and locked myself in my room for a week."

"Guys, really, if one creature that's not supposed to be real, is real, then wouldn't it make sense for there to be others?" I can see Kim shrug but Emily's reaction is lost behind the seat. "Now what's this about a split in the pack?"

Sam rumbles slightly from underneath his fiancé.

"Back when Nessy was born, Jacob broke away from his pack to become his own alpha. I wanted to...eliminate an unknown variable, and he went to protect her. Leah and Seth left as well, and it split the pack back when it had fewer numbers."

I look back at Leah, trying to imagine her fighting against these people to protect a newborn Nessy.

Wait.

"You wanted to kill a baby?!" I whirl in my seat to glare past my headrest.

Sam frowns at me, looking deeply unhappy about the question.

A warm hand rests on my knee, drawing my attention back to my best friend.

"No one knew how Nessy was going to be. She's half vampire, half human, and she was growing at an extraordinary rate. Nessy, the little girl you know, is less than a year old. Vampires are things we protect our people from, but a half vampire is...unknown. She could have been an even bigger threat."

I huff and turn to face out the window. She was still just a baby. All are unknown and have the potential to turn out to be serial killers.

"So what happened to the split in the pack?"

Leah shrugs, turning the car onto a barely noticeable road through the trees.

"I'm still technically part of Jacob's pack."

The trees open up to reveal a towering white house, looking more like a mansion. Some foster kids get adopted to rich families like this, and are showered with love and toys. Some of them are strict and send you back if you take one step out of line.

I wonder which kind of family this one would be. A family of perfects?

I open my door as Leah climbs out, and she's holding my hand the moment she is by my side.

The rest of the pack is already here, wrestling on the perfectly cut grass or lounging in chairs.

There a few people a don't know, and two of them, a male and female, come over with broad smiles.

"Welcome," he greets, and turns his attention to me. "You must be Samantha. I am Carlisle and this is my wife Esme."

I ignore his offered hand like I always do.

"It's just Sam." I reply with as polite a smile as I can manage.

He is absolutely beautiful, even I notice this, and deathly pale with golden eyes. They all are. All eight of them.

"Of course," he responds, letting his hand drop to his side. "We are starting the grill now so please enjoy yourself until the food is ready."

He waves to the group of socializing people, and I grow awkward. I'm not good at talking to people for an extended period of time.

Regardless, Leah drags me over to introduce me to everyone, chest all puffed out and looking happy.

After a while, I branch off from Leah, a little overwhelmed with the talk I don't know they are referring to, so I head toward the edges of the party to lean against a tree.

"Don't like these things much either." I jump and turn fast to a pale figure I hadn't noticed under the tree next to me. "Too many smells."

This vampire is much stiffer than the others, not bulky like the one, but more of a soldier stance. His wavy blond hair can almost be mistaken for brown in the shadows.

He regards me curiously as my heart continues to race.

Him being a vampire has nothing to do with it; I know he feeds off animals. I'm just naturally set on edge when I'm in a secluded area with a male. Yes, I've accepted I have psychological problems, and maybe PTSD, but there's not much I can do about it.

The party seems so far away now, a distant buzz.

"You don't have to be afraid of me darlin,'" he drawls, a southern twang coloring his speech. "I'm in control."

"I know," I answer honestly, making an effort to calm my nerves. I don't want to offend him with my own psyche problems. "I'm Sam."

"Jasper," he responds, not coming forward to offer his hand like most people. Maybe it makes him just as uncomfortable as me.

I lean back into the trunk, feeling awkward but more at ease.

"So you're Leah's imprint?"

"What's an imprint?" I ask.

"Ah," he looks uncomfortable again. "Never mind."

The silent drags on, and it doesn't look like he's going to say anything else, so I turn back to the party to watch.

Most of the boys are immersed in a game of soccer, or maybe football, kicking a checkered ball around so fast my human eyes can hardly follow it, and randomly tackling the person who has it.

Quil is brooding next to a fire pit about having to leave Claire home tonight because it's past her bed time.

Jacob is with Nessy and a brunette haired vampire who might be her mother. Seth is with Embry, chatting with another vampire that had to be her father.

The bronze haired boy is already staring at me when I turn my attention to him, not even paying care to the conversation. It's intense and reading, like he's looking into me and searching for all my secrets. It feels almost...violating.

Well he can't have them, I think venomously. Every part of my life is controlled by someone else, every part of me has been taken by someone else, I need something that is completely mine, even if it is just my secrets.

His eyes widen, probably because I started glaring at him.

Sammy, Lyla sighs. He's just looking at you. No one knows unless you tell them. You should tell someone.

Ha! Good try, Lyla, but you've been trying to convince me of that since I was eight.

It won't change anything. When the Fullers finally get tired of me and kick me out, I'll just be sent to some other nice family that can't stand me, or a pedophile that can't get enough of me.

I look away from the boy's horrified expression, searching for the only reason I'm here. Leah is wondering around, looking lost and searching for someone.

Her eyes land on me, and her face immediately brightens. She starts her way over, glancing at Jasper before taking my hand.

"Want to get out of here for a bit?" She asks, and my body relaxes completely.

"Sure."

She leads me farther into the woods, away from the sounds of people having a good time.

I lean into her, trusting her completely to guide me as my eyes fall closed.

She's so comfortable, her smell so comforting. It's strange how my chest physically aches in longing (because that's what it is) even as her warm arms are wrapped around me.

"You've still been having nightmares?" She asks, and I open my eyes.

We've stopped walking, so I'm half in the shade of a pine.

"Yeah."

It's a beautiful night; it couldn't be more perfect. The sky is as clear as I've ever seen it, with a dusting of stars bright and glimmering in the night's abyss.

A full moon looks large and full, or mostly full, and silver bathes parts of the ground in its unearthly glow.

Leah stands in one of these pools of light, looking like a dark huntress.

It's not the first time I'd thought her very beautiful, but it's the first time that I've felt it. It's a knowledge deep in my bones, a small simmering that sneaks through my veins.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks concerned, brows pulling together.

I honestly have no idea of what she's talking about. My mind seems foggy, like when I take my medication, and the world doesn't seem like the world I'm used to. It seems surreal, but not quite detached.

I want too... I just... I want...

I'm very aware of my sudden movement, my fingers grazing a glowing cheek, and then lips are against mine for the second time in my life.

The kiss is very soft, very inexperienced, and her lips are still parted from whatever she was about to say.

My eyes snap open and I back off quickly, embarrassment painful.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- I didn't mean-"

Her wide surprised eyes soften at my humiliation, and she gently turns my chin up. One hand winds around my waist, holding me to her gently enough that I could easily break it, and lowers her face to mine.

Leah is much more experienced, easily molding her lips to mine in a slow, lingering kiss that leaves me dizzy and breathless, not just because I forgot I need air.

She only pulls back a millimeter before she's leaning in again, pressing more firmly and wordlessly coaching me on how to move my lips and how much pressure to use, until I'm meeting her in her movements.

Fire burns behind my eyelids, setting my skin alight. My stomach is doing that flip flopping thing that I had originally connected to throwing up.

Yeah, I was an idiot.

All too soon, Leah doesn't come back in to meet me. Her forehead is pressed into mine, our noses bumping occasionally, and her breath hits my chin irregularly.

It brings attention to my own inhalation, and I'm surprised how hard it is to catch my breath.

I slowly pry my eyes open to look at my best friend, but her eyes are still closed and a large smile pulls at those deliciously smooth lips.

"You'll be my girlfriend now, right?" She whispers, still sounding breathless. And she opens her eyes to stare hopefully at me. "I mean, you can't kiss me like that and expect me to just forget about it."

"Okay," my own voice sounds different to my ears.

"Yeah?"

A smile splits my face. "Yeah."

And it just wouldn't leave my face; believe me, I tried.

Even as we went back and ate, sneaking glances at each other, and even as she drove back the reservation well past one o'clock, and even as she brushed a lingering kiss on my cheek at the door before heading back to the car.

She still has to take Kim home who is sagging tiredly against the window.

Brady, who had rode back with us and is now holding the door open, waiting for me, gives me his own broad grin.

My smile doesn't leave even as Mrs. Fuller calls to me from the kitchen before I can make my way to my room.

I don't stop to think about why she might still be up, or the fact that her voice wavered and sounded hesitant.

I just skip into the kitchen, happier than I've ever been.

But it all comes crashing down the moment I see Julia, because I know what that means.

Then my eyes shift past her, landing on the third person in the room who slowly stands as I freeze in the doorway.

At first, I'm confused because it's like I'm looking in a mirror.

Bright emerald green eyes stare wearily back at me, matching my feelings exactly, and the long black hair is chaotic and wavy down her back.

But she's older than me, her face more mature in that of a grown woman, and a slightly bigger bust size.

Tears leap to my eyes, and teeter dangerously before spilling over.

"Lyla?" My voice cracks.

A/N: Heheheheheh, so how much do you hate me right now? On a scale from one to ten, how much do you want to hunt me down, string a noose around my neck, and hang me from a bridge?

Good cliffy, huh? Please review!

~Silver~