After Math with Jude, I avoid bumping into AJ while I go to Rita's minivan, I don't know why I don't want him to come with me, I guess I just want to do this on my own. Jesus spots me walking across the courtyard and runs over to me.

"Hey, where you going?" He asks and walks with me.

"I'm going to see Ty, please don't tell AJ, he'll want to come and I need to be independant," I ask him.

"Uh, sure, do you want me to come? I mean, I won't come in but I could wait outside for you," I stop, why is he being so kind to me, we only just met.

"No that's okay, Rita will be there," He looks slightly disappointed, "But, you could meet me after, we have social studies,"

"Yeah, okay," He smiles again, "Good luck," He kind of takes a small step closer and then suddenly kisses my cheek, then he simply just walks off. I stand there slightly shocked, but the honk of Rita's horn brings me back to reality, I shake it off and get into the car with her. She talks to me as we drive, but I've zoned out, I'm just thinking about Ty, and AJ, will he be mad? It doesn't matter, I'm doing this for me.

Before we know it, a security guard is escorting me into a small room, it has one of those two way glass windows, I sit down and the guard goes through another door, before I have time to freak out or panic he comes back in with Ty, he looks like AJ, and me. He looks shocked, the guard forces him down in his chair.

"Hi," I say. He just stares at me, "You know me don't you? You've seen me before,"

"Yeah, Cressida," When he says my name, it seems a small shiver went through him, "Grandma told me bout you, then I went to the house and I saw you come out, you were with mom, you looked happy, I didn't wanna disrupt you,"

"I wish you did, sure mom was treating me well, but that's more than I can say for Ali,"

"Ali, that makes sense now,"

"What does?"

"I know what happened, I know what you did,"

"How?" My stomach turns, how can he know? And why hasn't he told AJ? And why doesn't he hate me?

"He told me, we were boys til I found out what he was doing to you and mom," I'm the reason he finally left,"

"Mom told me she dumped him, that's why he left,"

"That's mom, she lies, I told him if he didn't leave you two alone, I would be after him," I can't believe this, if he hadn't have done that my plan would have worked, it wouldn't have gone wrong and I wouldn't have ended up in Juvie, and we would all be together in the end, without Ali, "Look, I know why you did it, and I don't blame you, I know you didn't mean to hurt her, but the important thing is that he's gone now,"

"But so is she! If you hadn't meddled in it all he would be dead, instead of mom!" I yell at him.

"Cress, calm down," He says to me.

"No, all this time I've been blaming myself but it was your fault, I came here hoping we could be a family, I thought you'd be mad at me!" I stress out, I start to cry a little but through my fury.

"Ma'am, you'll have to calm down or you're out of here," The guard says. I take a deep breath.

"Why didn't you tell AJ?"

"He was too young at the time, I knew he wouldn't understand, I can tell him if you don't want to," He still trying to be all nice to me.

"No! Don't tell him, he'll hate me, he loved mom so much," I could tell by the letter she wrote to him, I read it, and I watched as AJ read it, it broke his heart.

"Okay, okay I won't tell him," He tries to reach for my hand but I pull away, he's handcuffeed to the table, so he can't stretch for me, "Don't hate me, if I'd had known your plan I wouldn't have told him to leave, I thought I was protecting you. We both made mistakes, one of mine got locked up in here, you're lucky you were a minor, if you had been just two years older it would have been a lot worse,"

"Stop talking to me like that, I'm not a child, it wasn't a mistake, I knew what I was doing, but mom wasnt supposed to be in the house, it was supposed to be him!" I slam my fist down on the table, "You ruined everything!" I scream at him, I almost lunge across the table at him but the guard catches me before I can and drags me out kicking and screaming. He pretty much hands me over to Rita, she hugs me tight and strokes my hair while I let out my anger in a very vocal way until I'm worn out. I drop to the floor, bringing her with me.

"I'll take you back to the house," She says once I've calmed down a little, "I think you could do with a little bit of rest," she gets me into the van.

"No, it's okay, just take me to school," I remember that Jesus is waiting for me, I try to dry my tears and make myself more presentable, I don't want everyone seeing me like this.

I meet him at the bench that looks over the beach, he's stood next to a tree texting someone.

"Hey," I say, he looks up at me.

"You alright?" I thought I had made it look like I wasn't crying but I guess he can tell by my face that somethings wrong.

"Yeah, I am now,"

"Cressida!" I hear AJ call my name from behind me, I turn to face him as he walks over to us, "Hey, what's up?" He bends down to eye level like he did when we spent the day together, I can't help but cry a little again.

"Sorry, I went to see Ty, it was just emotional, I'm okay though," I lie, I just wish I could tell someone all of this and I could fully trust them not to freak out or tell anyone, AJ hugs me. Jesus leaves us alone and AJ ditches his next class to sit with me, I just want to blurt it all out to him, but he'll hate me and then I'll never have a chance at a family. So I let him comfort me anyway, it's nice but I just feel so dishonest, "Listen, you go back to class, I'm gonna go talk to Lena, she said I could whenever. He agrees. Maybe I could tell Lena everything, she knows what I did, maybe I really could talk to her about it.

Lena welcomes me into her office with open arms, she sits next to me on her couch as I cry softly.

"Can I really talk to you about anything?"

"Of course you can, sweetie, is this about what you-"

"What I did? You can say it, I killed her, I killed my mom," I can't cry anymore so I just laugh, "She wasn't supposed to be in the house!"

"I know,"

"No you don't, I know it's bad that I even tried to kill anyone but Ali deserved it, he was awful to me and mom, he was supposed to be in that kitchen, but my brother messed the whole thing up!"

"AJ?" She asks.

"No Ty, he found out what was going on and he got Ali to leave the country, mom was supposed to be out with her friends, he was supposed to come home and go in that kitchen, the gas was on, it was all ready, I had headphones on so I couldn't hear him struggle, but I couldn't hear mom scream, I locked her in and the air poisoned her, I still would have got in trouble but it wouldn't have been as bad and I would still have my mom and she would take care of me and we could get AJ back and even Ty and we would be a real family,"

"Some things just aren't meant to be, AJ's happy with Mike and Ty will get his life on track when he's out, you will too, you might get fostered and then you can do really well in life Cressida!" She tries so hard to comfort me.

"Who would want to foster me? I'm a murderer,"

"No you're not, it was an accident, plenty of people would foster you!" I suddenly have an idea.

"Would you?" I look up at her, with my big eyes hoping to strike a chord with her.

"I don't know-"

"Please, just temporarily, otherwise I'll end up in some awful abusive home, I know you and Stef are great, your kids love you so much, please Lena!" I beg, she stares back at me.

"I'll talk to Stef, but I can't promise anything!"