A/N: Thanks to my Kakarot (Sydney) for request- er, telling me to write this. Love you! ((PS, I hope this is what you wanted? No one beta read this so I'm sure it's shit.))

There are a couple Dragon Ball Z: Abridged references, bonus points if you catch them. (They're pretty vague though tbh.)

This is named/based loosely off of a beautiful movie called "Water for Elephants."

Shot II: Water For Elephants

There are a handful of things that Vegeta has forgiven Goku for.

Like the time the big idiot somehow obliterated the couch after getting too excited while watching a TV show, and then tried to tape the fucker back together.

Or the time when Goku invited the vacuum salesman into the house. The man wouldn't leave, no matter how many threats Vegeta shot his way. It took a good four hours before the salesman realized that Goku was an idiot and the only way he would make a sale was through Vegeta, and that wasn't happening.

But this? This cannot be forgiven.

"Ka-Kakarot..." Vegeta can't even get the rest of the sentence passed his lips. Fury boils the blood beneath his skin, and it literally takes every single ounce of willpower Vegeta has to not tackle Goku and strangle that sheepish grin right off of his face.

"Okay, Vegeta, don't be mad." Goku raises his hands defensively.

"Don't be...?" Oh, how unfathomable those words seem right now.

"I know she's big..."

"Kakarot..." Vegeta closes his eyes slowly. "Kakarot, please. Please tell me... That you didn't spend our grocery budget on this."

"Well..."

Vegeta shakes his head.

"Kakarot, I sent you to town with a list of everything we needed. All you had to do was search for each item, and then purchase it." He massages the spot directly above his eye. "So tell me, why in all motherfucking hell did you buy a goddamned elephant?"

Goku just gives a nervous chuckle.

Vegeta's heart is pounding in his ears and he suddenly feels dizzy.

"I..." He opens his eyes. What the actual hell was going through that damned Kakarot's mind? What compelled him to buy an elephant?

Of all things in the world to purchase. An elephant. A real, living, breathing elephant. Standing in his front yard. Looking at him.

Why did Kakarot think this was okay? Did he honestly believe that I wouldn't be livid? Where the hell did he even get the damn thing?

Vegeta's questions remain unanswered as he looses his ability to speak.

"Gosh, you're so mad, aren't you?" Goku dances anxiously, shifting his weight back and forth between his feet. "I just... I thought, uh...?"

You thought what, Kakarot?!

Vegeta takes a deep breath in.

"She doesn't have anywhere else t'go, Geta! She's real sweet, honest!"

"Why the hell did you buy an elephant?" Vegeta groans, mood shifting from the initial anger to frustration and exasperation. This time, when Goku hears the question, he jolts and blushes.

"I, uh..." Goku turns to look at the giant gray mammal behind him. "I didn't actually buy her..."

"What?" Vegeta steps back to lean against the door of the house. "What, what do you mean by that?"

"She was just, um, hanging out by the train."

"Train?" Vegeta shakes his head.

"Yup. I think there was a circus." Goku smiles.

"You stole an elephant from the fucking circus?" Vegeta closes his eyes, ready to punch his moronic lover.

"No! Uh, maybe..." Goku shifts, growing uncomfortable with all the yelling. "I didn't mean to steal her."

"I don't understand. Why? Why did you see this elephant and decide to bring it home?" Vegeta straightens and begins pacing. His earlier exasperation morphs into rage again. Pulling out his best Goku impression, he says, "I'm going to steal this elephant from the circus and take it home to Vegeta, and there will be absolutely no repercussions because I'm Kakarot and I do no wrong!"

"Vegeta, please calm down..." Goku scratches the back of his head nervously, and the bull behind him moves her trunk to rest on his shoulder lovingly.

Vegeta sighs and squeezes the bridge of his nose. "I'm calm," he says. "Shut up, I'm calm." He takes a deep breath.

"Do you wanna touch her?" Vegeta glances up, glaring at the taller Saiyan.

"Please just shut the hell up and let me think."

"'Bout what?" Goku frowns. "You're gonna make me give her back, aren't you? That's what you're thinkin' 'bout."

"Kakarot, you make it sound like I'm the bad guy here!"

"You are." Goku squeezes the elephant's trunk in a hug. "I wanna keep her."

"No. Take her back now."

"No." Goku shakes his head childishly, the tiniest hint of a smirk on his lips.

Vegeta looks at his boyfriend and the massive beast beside him. He honestly wants to keep it, doesn't he? That's completely idiotic. He still can't comprehend what went through Goku's head when he figured that he could just sneak the elephant home and keep it like a kitten. This is a huge, fully grown creature that's taller than their house. It probably eats twice as much as Goku does, if you can believe that a living being eats that much. Did Goku really expect that if he brought home an elephant, Vegeta would be completely accepting? The line must be drawn, now.

Vegeta starts to open his mouth, but the words sit on his tongue like lead. Goku may be an idiot, but he isn't idiotic enough to 'accidentally' steal an elephant. He can be pretty strategic, and his stupidity can be used in his favor at times. So Vegeta can't help but wonder if the opposite Saiyan is planning something with this. What he would be planning is beyond Vegeta, but he figures it best to ignore Goku and hope that this issue will fix itself without his contribution.

"Whatever," Vegeta mutters, turning and starting back towards the house.

"Whatever? What'dya mean?"

"I don't care what you do with it." He waves lazily over his shoulder and reaches for the door handle.

"You don't?"

"Nope."

"Wait!" Vegeta hears Goku run up behind him and he smirks.

Looks like I was right.

"What is it, Kakarot?" he says, turning around.

"I, uh, I'm sorry." The taller Saiyan looks down, a bit nervous sounding.

"Why? I told you I didn't care."

"You're mad." Goku says quickly, and it sounds like a statement as opposed to a question.

"I'm not." Vegeta, amused by Goku's sudden concern with his lack of anger, crosses his arms over his chest and maintains a stoic look.

"You aren't?" Goku gives a huff and glances at the elephant over his shoulder. The massive beast is chewing on the branches of the tree in the yard.

"No."

"Why not?"

Vegeta shifts his weight to his other foot, studying his fidgety lover.

"Why did you steal an elephant, Kakarot?" he asks, using a slightly more gentle approach. He can't help but still sound a bit frustrated, however.

"I, uh..." Goku glances around, looking anywhere but at Vegeta.

"Where you trying to piss me off?" It doesn't seem probable, but with Goku's persistent prodding and his disappointed reaction to Vegeta telling him he didn't care, it is possible.

Goku says nothing, which sells his theory.

"Why would you actually attempt to make me mad?"

"I just..." Goku sighs, sounding almost irritated. "You, um..."

"You're just looking for my attention, aren't you?"

"What?" Goku chuckles nervously. After a minute of awkward silence and no response, Vegeta shakes his head.

"I can't believe you stole an entire elephant because you're an attention whore." He takes a step forward and hugs Goku's waist loosely. Thinking about it now, it makes sense, coming from Goku. The man loves to he drooled over by Vegeta, but his attention isn't always easy to obtain. It seems logical to gain the attention by enraging him. Anger is his default emotion, after all. Not to mention that Goku is on a level of masochism that no one else thought possible. But that's their secret.

"So, Vegeta."

"You aren't keeping the elephant, Kakarot."

Goku chuckles, pulling back. "I wasn't planin' on actually keeping her at first, but I kinda like her." He leans down and kisses Vegeta's lower lip sloppily. "Please?" Goku whispers. Vegeta's lids droop.

The thing is, he knows he's being played. But he doesn't really care.

After a moment of silently hating how easily Goku can persuade him, Vegeta mutters, "Fine."

End of Shot II