I have to take a few days off school when I get back to the Fosters, which pisses me off because I'm already a year behind in Math, I don't wanna fall behind in anything else. I get Jude to bring me my classwork and homework so I can stay a little bit up to date, Lena and Stef continue to tell me they're proud of me, it only pushes me harder to do well. I've tried my best not to think about the things I've done or the thing I'm doing. When I'm with Jesus and we get to be alone, I just try to enjoy that, rather than see the downside to it. All the other kids have part time jobs or a significant other that they spend their time with, so Jesus and I end up having a lot of alone time. When Stef and Lena are home we just hang out in his room, they don't think anything of it, we just tell them we're helping each other with homework. But I think maybe he's starting to feel the guilt to, he said he could live with it, but I really don't think he could.

"Jesus," I pull his attention away from his English textbook, "Talk to me, what's up,"

"Huh? Nothing, I'm fine," He shrugs me off. I grab his hand.

"No you're not, what is it Jesus?"

"It's just," He lets out a sigh, "I think maybe,"

"You think maybe I was right? About us, the first time I mean,"

"Yeah, I don't know, it's harder than I thought, I like you a lot, like a lot, I'm really falling for you and it's making it even harder," he gets up and shakes it off a little, "I just wanna show you off to the world but I can't even tell my moms,"

"Okay, I get it," I get up to leave, "I'll see you at dinner I guess,"

"No, stop," He grabs my hand, "I don't wanna end it like this, I don't wanna end it at all, I just think it's what's best,"

"Yeah I know, that's what I said before, I get it, Jesus," I try to leave again.

"For now," He stops me, "When you move out, I'll still be here, I'll wait for you," He grabs me and kisses me so passionately I feel like I'm starting to melt.

"You will?"

"Forever if I have to," I give him one last small kiss and I leave his room, and I'm met with Emma standing outside.

"Oh, hey Emma, I didn't know you were here, you staying for dinner?"

"Yeah, I am," She's giving me that look again, "You're off your crutches, that's great,"

"Yeah, the doctor said I improved really quickly and he gave me the all clear," The way she stares at me makes me uncomfortable, "Um so, I'm gonna go study some more, I'm going back to school tomorrow," I quickly remove myself from the situation and go to my room, Callie's been sleeping on a fold out bed so I can stay in her bed now that Brandon's back, but when I get in there there's papers and books everywhere, Mariana is sat in the middle surrounded by the mess.

"Oh, sorry Cressida, Emma and I have to get all of this done by tomorrow, her laptop is broken so she's been hand writing all of this code for weeks, now we actually have to put it into the system it might take all night," I step around the piles of mess and notice Callie sat in the corner reading.

"Okay, uh, it's just, well where are we going to sleep?" I laugh and move a stack of paper over so I can sit down.

"Don't touch that!" She makes me jump, "Everything is organized if one paper goes missing it'll screw everything up," She straightens up the stack and puts it back.

"Mariana, are you okay?" Callie puts her book down.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine I'm just a little stressed, this has to get done tonight,"

"Um okay, Cress, why don't we make camp downstairs?"

"Sure, I'll grab some pillows,"

Callie and I sit at either end of the couch with our feet on the arm chairs and we moved the TV a little closer so we could watch from our new beds for the night.

"What's going on?" Stef walks in from the kitchen.

"Mariana's taken over our room so we're improvising," Callie says as we munch on popcorn. Stef simply rolls her eyes and walks upstairs, I'm assuming to have a word with Mariana. "So do you like it here?"

"Uh yeah, it's cool, you're all so nice and no one locks me in anywhere,"

"You got locked in too? A lot of families did that to me and Jude, but I guess we always had each other,"

"Yeah, you're lucky, but it doesn't matter now, I know that Stef and Lena would never let me end up in that situation again, even if I can't keep living here I'm sure they would help to make sure I end up somewhere good, like Girls United, I didn't like it there but I've definitely stayed in places much worse,"

"Like Juvie?"

"Yeah,"

"Yeah it does suck,"

"You were in Juvie? Why what did you do?"

"I smashed up my foster dad's car, with good reason though, he was beating on Jude, I had to stop him somehow,"

"And you got punished for it? The foster system sucks, if I was in charge, I would make sure nothing like that ever happened to any kid, ever,"

"Me too, but unfortunately that's not the way the world works, we just have to keep fighting the system until someone important notices us, we just gotta scream loud enough,"

Callie and I bond over our experiences in Juvie, she tells me about her and Brandon too, I have to act surprised if she found out I knew she would wonder why and then I'd have to tell her about Jesus, but that doesn't matter anymore, it's over, for now. And now I don't feel like I have to tell Jesus what I did.

"AJ keeps asking about you," she tells me, "He really misses you,"

"He's mad at me, remember,"

"Yeah and he won't tell me why, I get it, it's none of my business, but if you do wanna tell me, I'll listen,"

"The thing is Callie, the reason he's mad is because I'm keeping something from him, but I can't tell you either, it's not that I don't want to, and I want to tell AJ too, but I don't think he would forgive me, I would tell you, Callie, but I honestly don't think I could put myself through it, if you really wanna know, ask Lena at dinner, she'll tell you all,"

"Okay, okay I will,"