"So I talked to Lena," AJ I stand at opposite sides of the kitchen, "She uh, explained everything,"
"And? How do you feel about it?"
"I'm a little mad, but I just can't figure out my feelings properly, I love you Cressida, you're my sister, my real family and I felt that the second I met you, even if I didn't show it," He paces around, "She told me that Ty knows and that Mike knows and everyone else pretty much, I guess that makes me kind of mad,"
"I'm sorry, I swear I didn't know Ty knew about it, and Mike only knows because he looked me up on the system, and I asked Lena to tell the others, it was eating me alive. But what was harder was that you didn't know, but I was so scared you would want nothing to do with me,"
"That would never happen, we'll always be family,"
"Thank God," I walk over to hug him.
"But," I stop a few feet from him, "I need time, to think about it, to feel comfortable again," I step back.
"Okay, I get it, I would feel the same, but just don't be mad at Ty either, he was trying to protect you, and Mike didn't tell you because he thought I should, but you have to know how hard it was to admit it to myself, it took me so long to learn to live with it that I underestimated how long it would take me to realise I had to learn to live with the secret too, I don't want to keep secrets anymore, especially not from family,"
"I understand," He tries to smile but I know it's hard, it might take a long time for him to trust me again, "I guess I'll see you around,"
"Yeah," I watch him leave the house, he's different now like he's carrying the weight of this on his shoulders, I feel bad that I've let that happen but it was needed.
Now that everyone's home, we all sit down to dinner together. I feel so much better now that everyone knows. And Jesus and I aren't together so I don't have to keep that from anyone either. Callie and Brandon know but they would never tell anyone because they know exactly what it's like, and they know that we made the right choice.
"I hope you've tidied your room Mariana, the girls can't sleep on the couch forever," Stef says. Mariana looks exhausted, she's leaning on her elbow twirling her food around with her fork, "Mariana?"
"Huh?"
"Are you okay sweetie? You've been half a world away all week," Lena asks.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine, this STEM club stuff is kicking my butt, we're nearly finished though,"
"Good, you need to get your sleeping schedule back to normal, all of you," Stef knows I've barely slept while I've been here, but now that I've gotten everything off my chest maybe I'll be okay.
AJ and I get on pretty well over the next few weeks in school, but sometimes things get a little awkward. What can I expect though? School gets really hard, I've been keeping up to date but it's been a struggle, I thought I'd be able to sleep better now but school is a lot harder than I imagined. Mariana and I have had so much work to do that we've been staying up really late and getting up at the crack of dawn, she seems like she can do it but I'm exhausted. One night when Callie is out with AJ, we have our room to ourselves to study.
"How do you do this?" I yawn.
"Do what?" She writes so fast, where does she get all this energy?
"You barely sleep and you still manage to do well in school, what's your secret?"
"I don't have a secret, what makes you think I have a secret?"
"Okay, now you're just acting strange," I close my chemistry book, "What's going on?"
"Nothing," She looks kind of nervous.
"Mariana," I walk over and close her book and push it aside, "Tell me,"
"Fine, I've been taking something to help me stay awake, but it's no big deal okay, please don't tell my moms," She begs me.
"Oh, okay," I sit down, "Could I have some?"
"What?"
"Well, I have just as much work as you and it's driving me nuts, I could do with a little... you know, help,"
"But you got out of Juvie like 2 months ago, if you get caught you'll get sent right back,"
"Then I won't get caught, please Mariana," I hold my hand out.
"Fine, but just a few, I need them," She reaches into her pillow case and pulls out a little bottle, emptying some little pills into my hand, "That'll get you through the next week, that's all you're getting,"
"Thank you!" I hug her and take one of the capsules with a sip of water. I know it's stupid but I won't do it forever, and it's not like I've never done drugs before, I've never gotten addicted so I won't now.
The pills help me out a lot, I manage to get to the top of my class in English and History, Math is still hard but I'm not falling behind anymore. I get my Chemistry project finished and my essay for economics. We only have 2 weeks of school left and I'm getting everything done on time, I thought I might end up in summer school but at this rate, I'll be fine, I can spend the summer working and maybe by next semester I'll be able to finally afford my own place. Callie's going to recommend me to her boss at the diner and I'll be able to work there for a while. My plan is to work so hard that I get a raise or promotion, I want to be successful in life and I finally feel like I'm achieving that.
In fact, everything at the Adams-Fosters is going well, Jesus is acting more like himself, AJ comes over for dinner a lot more. It's like they're all my real family, I start to feel like I never want to leave but then I remind myself of my plan. I'm going to be independent. Stef and Lena do like having me around though, with the pills that Mariana gave me I have more time to help around the house, I cook dinner a lot and I take the trash out and wash the dishes. They appreciate me, I love it here so much.