~:~ Royal Pain ~:~

Thranduil chatted contently with Bilbo just outside the forest. Both elf and hobbit had been standing there for about an hour, and they were quite oblivious to the muttering dwarfs around them.

"Good afternoon, Thranduil," Dwalin grunted, coming to stand beside Bilbo with his axe gripped tightly in his hand.

"Good afternoon, Dwalin," the elf said politely.

The shorter being snorted. "What business do you have here?"

Thranduil frowned and Bilbo exhaled harshly through his nostrils and rolled his eyes. "Bilbo and I were just in the forest. I've walked him back to Erebor for safety purposes. I know the King wouldn't want his consort in the forest alone."

"Do not speak of the King as if you are on such good terms! The dwarves offer him more protection than you elves," Dwalin growled.

Bilbo turned to the dwarf. "Thranduil and I were just having a lovely chat! Since when is there any harm in that?"

"You know the King will not like this," Dwalin replied.

"The King has no say in what business I do with anyone," Bilbo huffed. "You and your men may tell him that. And if that upsets him, tell him he can go bitch about it to someone else because I am getting tired of this constant monitoring. I am a hobbit not a housewife!"

Dwalin looked to the elf who took a few steps away from the two. "Master Baggins-"

"I am the Consort, am I not?" he sneered and the warrior nodded. "And you were given orders to do everything I say, were you not?" Dwalin nodded again. "Well, go tell that hot-shot King! And take your men with you! I do not need to be looked after like a child!"

"Perhaps we shall continue this another day," Thranduil spoke after the dwarfs left.

"No, no," Bilbo waved. "Today is quite perfect," he said a little too calmly for the elf's liking.

The taller creature cleared his throat awkwardly. "So, how is the young prince?"

"Oh, he's been miserable lately; he's teething," Bilbo answered. "Which is part of the reason I am so worked up over this trivial matter! He's been really fussy and keeping us up a lot. I've tried the hobbit and dwarf remedies, but I suspect it's the dwarf in him that's fighting it."

Thranduil hummed. "Yes, they are very stubborn. Although, there is a paste elves use on their children that calms them and reduces the pain greatly. It's like the creamy paste the dwarfs use to patch the wounded."

Bilbo made a noise of approval. "How do you administer it?"

"You get some on your finger and apply it to their gums," Thranduil said simply. "It's safe to swallow and reduces the pain on contact. It also helps them sleep," he added.

"Oh, that's brilliant," Bilbo said in awe. "How much for it?"

"Bilbo, my dear friend. You do not need to pay. I shall do it as a favor," he replied rather kindly.

The hobbit frowned. "But what can I do in return?"

"Spare my life," Thranduil answered quickly.

"W-what do you mean?"

The elf nodded to the other side of the hobbit where Thorin Oakenshield, scowl, murderous eyes, crown and all stormed toward them. He looked positively fuming. He came to a halt in front of his consort.

"Bilbo, where is my son?" he growled lowly, pointing Orcrist at Thranduil who was looking very nervous.

"He's with the other dwarflings at the day-care, as he's been whenever I have business to attend to elsewhere," the hobbit replied calmly. "Why do you ask?"

"What is that elf doing in my kingdom?" he snarled.

"He was kind enough to accompany back from Mirkwood. He wanted to make sure I was safe in the forest."

Thorin snarled. "You've arrived home. He can leave."

"Honestly, Thorin," Bilbo huffed. "Did you stop a meeting for this?!"

"An unwelcome elf entered my kingdom and was flirting with my consort-"

"Flirting?!" Bilbo retorted in pure shock.

The pallor in Thranduil's cheeks faded and he felt worried about the short dwarf in front of him. He tried to explain. "King Oakenshield, you must know that I would never ever flirt with Consort Bilbo. Ever."

"Thorin, are you insane?!" the hobbit moaned. "I would never cheat on you. For pity's sake we have a child together! You are taking a simple matter and twisting it waaaaaaay out of proportion!"

The dwarf clenched his jaw and stared coldly and menacingly at the elf. "Bilbo, I want you to return to our chambers. I will speak with you later."

"No, we already have good relations with the Woodland Realm. I am not letting you send their king back in a large burlap sack," Bilbo huffed. "Besides, he promised medicine for our Frerin."

Thorin whirled around. "What medicine? Why? Why does he care? I do not trust these elves! How does he even know what Frerin needs? He is not his father-"

"No, but his fathers are going mad with their son's constant crying, are they not?" Bilbo reminded him.

"They are," Thorin admitted quietly. His rude demeanor dwindled much; now he was a hopeless father thinking of his son's ongoing pain.

"Okay. Now you must let Thranduil go so he can prepare the medicine and give it to us."

"How long will it take?" Thorin whispered, ashamed of being weak in front of his enemy.

Bilbo looked at the Elf King and repeated the dwarf's question.

"I can have it ready tomorrow," Thranduil answered calmly.

Thorin turned around and cleared his throat. "Very well," he said somewhat reluctantly. "You may go."

"Oh, my darling! You've no idea how much this helps him!" Bilbo gasped in awe as he smoothed the pink paste over Frerin's gums. "He's stopped crying and seems to have stopped suffering. Oh, my baby!" He cradled the toddler and cried happy tears as Frerin gurgled happily for the first time in weeks.

Thorin wrapped his strong arms around Bilbo. "Let's hope it lasts the night," he murmured into his hobbit's hair. "I wouldn't praise the elf's work so soon."

Bilbo rolled his eyes and was not even going to attempt to persuade the dwarf otherwise. "We'll see in the morning, I suppose. Would you put him down, please?" He handed Thorin the dwobbit babe and sat down heavily on their bed. "I need a good night's rest."

"Aye." The dwarf set down Frerin in his bed beside theirs. They had moved the crib into a conjoining bedroom but when Frerin's pain had started they moved him back into theirs. He sighed tiredly and slowly climbed into bed. "Do you-"

But Bilbo was already fast asleep and snoring lightly.

Thorin smiled softly and pulled the covers up to his husband's chin. "Damn medicine worked," he muttered to himself. "But I will never admit that. Ever." He smoothed back Bilbo's hair. "Goodnight, my love."