Following behind the three leaders, we walk back to the rest of the initiates. Nikol and Eric, huddled up together, place themselves on one side, facing the initiates, whereas Bellamy distances himself, standing with the rest of us. "Most of you already know me, I'm Nikol, and this is my partner Eric" she then points her finger to Bellamy, and all eyes go on him. "That's your other leader, Bellamy Blake. Bellamy and I are mainly the ones in change of your initiations; however, Eric is going to be in charge of the rankings, and who gets cut." I raise my eyebrows, "what do you mean who gets cut?" I surprise myself by asking, but as always, my curiosity gets the best of me. Eric snorts at my question, which causes Nikol to hit him, in order to shut him up. He looks back at her with a playful pout, to which she only responds with by rolling her eyes. Bellamy's grim voice grabs the attention away from the couple, "there are two stages of training; the first is physical. Push your bodies to the breaking point, and master the methods of combat. The second is mental; again, breaking point. Face your worst fears and conquer them... Unless they get you first. You'll be trained separately from the dauntless born, but you will be ranked together. After initiation, the rankings will determine what jobs you move into." He pauses for a minute, and I feel his eyes land on me, as they have so often done in the brief time I had known him for. "As for the cut part... at the end of each stage of training, the lowest ranking initiates will be leaving us." Feeling as though the last part was directed at me, I furrow my brows, "to do what?" I replied. Bellamy throws an arrogant smirk towards me, and I on instinct, rolled my eyes at him, which he seemed to be amused by. He opens his mouth and starts forming a sentence, but Eric cuts him off. "Well there's no going back to your families, so you'd have to live factionless." Nodding at him, I realised that him and Nikol were so different, they were practically opposites. She was kind and helpful; he was only looking out for himself. She was an open book; his expressions were almost impossible to read. She was sociable; he was a lone wolf. She had a smile that could brighten up anyone's day; His icy stare and the menacing look that appeared to be engraved on his face, as a warning sign for everyone to back the fuck off. It amazes me how the people who theoretically should not even mix paths, end up colliding perfectly. She appears to be admired by all of the initiates but I could also tell that the only person that Eric likes is Nikol, of course. Out of the three leaders, she was the only friendly one, and the only one that is decent and actually likable.
"Now, Bellamy will be giving you all a tour around the compound." Eric looks directly at Bellamy as he speaks. Bellamy's face grew darker, and without hesitation, he walks on over standing barley a couple of inches away from Eric. They stare at each other, the tension between them clearly visible to everyone around them. "Oh yeah?" Bellamy's stare hardens, and his tone becomes challenging. "Why don't you give the tours?" he continues. Eric plasters on a fake but devilish grin, "See I would, but Nikol and I are very very busy." He takes a step closer to Bellamy's face and everyone could tell that he was about to cross a line, but Eric didn't strike me as a person who would back down, and proving me right, he kept going. "I'm sure you get what I mean... You on the other hand, have no one and nothing to do, so you might as well give the tour." I look around, and everyone was watching, and I felt like an outsider yet again, having no clue what the fuck they were talking about. I throw a confused look to Finn, to which he responds with a shrug. Unlucky for Eric, Bellamy was also one to stand his ground and not back down from a challenge. "Or maybe I could take your place, I'm sure your princess wouldn't mind that". Eric's face stiffened, and an uncomfortable silence haunted the air. Bellamy had clearly gone too far. Finn leans over closer to me, and whispers in my ear "All this because of a tour? Geez how bad could this place be?" and I can't help but to burst out laughing, breaking the silence. Bellamy turns to look at me, the annoyance visible. While Bellamy is still distracted, Eric takes this as a chance, and catches Bellamy of guard by connecting his fist with Bellamy's higher cheekbone area, causing everyone, including myself, to gasp. Bellamy charges at Eric, and Nikol quickly jumps in, infuriated by the two men. She pulls Bellamy off of Eric, and her face is red with rage. "WE'LL ALL FUCKING GIVE THE TOUR THEN, IF YOU'RE BOTH GOING TO ACT LIKE FUCKING CHILDREN." The tone of her voice was enough to make them both shut up. The tension with the trio was so fucking obvious, and my curiosity grew. I wondered what it was that could make Nikol's usually calm and enjoyable manner slowly shift into pure anger- her nostril's flaring, her eyes narrowing, with no sign of anything but fury on her face. I watched the bubbly, girl who was never seen without a smile on her face, seeming as if she didn't have a bad thought on her mind transform into a raging bull, and I was intrigued to find out the history between them. I sure as hell was not planning on asking Bellamy or Eric about it. I sorted at the thought, considering that neither of them were exactly fond of me choosing Dauntless. If I even tried asking them, I'd probably end up with a black eye too... Shaking my head, I decide on asking Nikol once I get the chance.
The tour seemed to go on forever, as we trailed behind Eric and Nikol, who led us, hand in hand. Nikol was explaining everything to us, while Eric sulked besides her, keeping up his image of being a tough guy who doesn't care. However, there were those moments where Nikol would ramble on, and as he watched her, for a moment, his rough exterior would vanish, as he stared at the woman he so obviously loved. I wondered what type of person he was when no one except her was around. I also could not ignore the thumping pain in my chest, and the longing I had to find someone who looked at me like that. He looked at her with such raw emotions, a vulnerability so contrasting to his character. His heart belonged to her, in every life they had ever lived, in every universe that ever existed.
"Hey princess!" I blush at the nickname he had adopted for me. I turn to see Finn walking towards me. If I had not decided to sit next to Finn after the ceremony, I might've felt so out of place, everyone else seemed to already know each other, and they did not seem too interested in making new friends. I move out of everyone's way, waiting for Finn to catch up. We walk slower than the rest of the group, being the last ones... Well besides Bellamy, who was pacing behind us. Finn had a witty remark to make about every single thing going on, and the ability to constantly make me laugh, making the tour a whole lot more bearable. However, Finn did not seem to have the same effect on Bellamy who would snort or grunt at everything he had to say. Previously being in Candor, we are known for our honesty, and we are always ones to speak our minds. That being said, I turn around to face Bellamy, with my hands on my hips and a look of annoyance clearly visible on my face. "Do you have nothing better to fucking do than eavesdrop on other people's conversations?" His lips part, and momentarily, he looks surprised, almost as if he had excepted me to stay quiet. His stunned expression is soon replaced with his previous intense look, as he studies me for a moment. "just keep walking, princess." His tone sends shivers down my spine, and a wave of hatred flowed through my veins. There was something about the way he called me princess that was so different to Finn's genuine way. When Finn had said it, my heart would race, a blush would rise up to my cheeks, and it felt a whole lot like love. But when Bellamy had said it, maybe it was the bitter tone, maybe it was his arrogant attitude, or the fact that he had meant it as an insult, it made my blood boil.
Finn steps up, now facing the Dauntless leader, and catching his eyes. He spits out "find your own nickname, jackass." to which Bellamy only responds to with an eye roll, before stomping past us.
"And finally, this is where you're going to be sleeping for the next ten weeks" Nikol remarks at the end of the tour, leading us into a large room filled with cots.
"Now get dressed, and go have a look around, go to the cafeteria afterwards, and you can meet me there" she finishes off with a sweet smile, before walking off. I grab the dauntless clothes that they had offered, before walking off to the bathroom to get changed. I get out of my old clothes, and slip on a black tank top, simple black leggings, and army boots. I wrap a bandana around my wrist, and I turn to face the mirror, staring at my reflection for the first time since I got here. My long blonde curls fell perfectly, my almost porcelain skin illuminated, and I sighed. I really did look like an outsider; my appearance definitely was nothing like all the gorgeous warrior women that I had seen around. Putting my hair up in a messy ponytail, I turn away from the mirror, and head out back to the cots. A confused look quickly creeps on my face, as I walk towards my cots, only to find another one way too close, and Finn obviously being involved. "What the hell are you doing?" I ask, almost amused "Just thought I'd be better if we were closer... I'm not really a fan of distances." He responds with his mischievous grin. I shake my head and let out a laugh, and almost on cue, the sound of angry boots colliding with the hard ground fills our ears. "You wish. Now come on lets head to the cafeteria, I'm starving." I straight out my top, getting ready to leave. "I'll meet you there; I still need to get changed." I nod, before making my way to the cafeteria.
I had heard people say that the loneliest feeling was being surrounded by loads of people but still feeling alone, and I had never understood that until now. Looking around, I realised how everyone else had a place that they fit into; everyone had someone, and everyone knew where they belong. Except me. I almost regret choosing Dauntless... Maybe I should have stayed in Candor, yeah I never fit in there, but at least I still did have my friends. I look around again, and almost as if she can read the whole situation, Nikol catches my eye and signals for me to come over. I walk over and join her, muttering greetings to each other, before turning our full attention to Bellamy, who had began talking.
"Initiates! Rise!" His deep voice calls out. Everyone stands up and grins widely.
"You have chosen the warrior faction. Cast with the defence of this city and all it's inhabitants. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in courage that drives one person to stand up for another. Respect that. Do us proud." He sits back down, just as the booming cheers of the initiates fills my ears. After the sound dies down, Nikol and I engage in small talk, until I finally bring myself to ask the question that had been sitting in the back of my mind, since the fight. "What's the story with Bellamy and Eric?" Her face stiffens for a moment, before she lets out a weary sigh. "Come with me, I'll explain everything somewhere else." She stands up and makes her way out the door, and I follow shortly behind. Eric and Bellamy's stares burn into our backs as we walk out, but Nikol doesn't seem to notice, so I decide on ignoring it too. Blindly following the fearless leader, we find ourselves on a rooftop. Looking down, all I do is stare in awe; this place was breathtaking! I let out a barely audible "wow", which causes Nikol to chuckle at my reaction, before she begins talking. "Yeah, I discovered this place ages ago, back when I first fell for Eric" she chuckles once again. "He was a right dick to me before you know, it took us ages to get over hating each other. But then one night, I was grieving over the tragic loss of my family, and I found myself on Eric's doorstep. I was too broken to even form a sentence. As soon as he had opened the door, and made some smartass remark, I collapsed in his arms. Wildly shocked at first, he didn't react for a while; he just stood there with my clinging onto his shirt for dear life." She pauses, a bittersweet smile sitting on her lips. "Afterwards, he laid me down on the couch, and he had spent that whole night holding me. I just remember how right it felt, you know? It stunned me how something could feel so right in a situation that is so wrong. The next morning, he was gone before I had the chance to even wake up. I woke up in his empty apartment, and I barley caught glimpses of him for the next few weeks, it was as if my vulnerability had scared him away, and in that moment, I regretted showing up at his doorstep. I regretted being weak and not having dealt with everything on my own. You have not felt heartbreak unless you've watched the person you're falling for, walk around merely acknowledging your existence. Then one night, he showed up at my door, the stench of vodka and cigarettes lacing his breath. "She stops, her eyes glowing with realization. She disappears into a corner, briefly returning with a clear bottle of booze, and her smile taking up half her face. "I completely forgot about this" she continues, before chugging down some of the liquid. She then passes the bottle to me, and I hesitate for a moment; I have never drank before, maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea... After a short minute, I come to the conclusion that in my 17 years of living, I have never done anything reckless, and I was sick and tired of being boring. 'Fuck it, I'm Dauntless now' I thought to myself, before grabbing the bottle and connecting it with my lips, letting the burning sensation make its way down my throat. We repeat this for a while, and I find myself slurring on my words. "So then what happened?" I asked. "Eric was obviously drunk, and I knew I had to take care of him, the way he took care of me when I needed someone. I let him in, I gave him some water, I helped him get out of his dirty clothes, I laid him down on the bed, I did everything I could. But I couldn't resist asking him what had happened, why he had been avoiding me. So I sat down on the bed next to him, and I demanded to know. That was the first time I had seen his grey eyes turn soft, and from that moment, I knew I had fallen in low with him." She sighs. "Had he fallen in love with you too?" I say as I take another sip. "I thought he did." She admits. "After that night, he had asked me to stay, and we fell asleep together again, and oh god Clarke, I was so afraid of falling asleep. I tried to stay up for as long as I could, watching all of his worries diminish, I was so scared of falling asleep with him, and waking up alone,just like last time; except this time, he had stayed. Everything was so different with us after, we started acting like we were together, we started sharing everything with each other, but then he fighting started again. Sometimes, it became too much, and this rooftop became my escape. Every time the real world became too much, this place became my safe haven... After doing something completely stupid one drunken night, I almost jeopardised everything between us. I am so lucky that Eric found it in his heart to forgive me."
We sit in silence for a while, the alcohol definitely kicking in. My brain was buzzing, and I found all my thoughts to be racing back to Bellamy. I turn back to face Nikol. "You haven't told me, what's the history with Bellamy and Eric?" I mentally noted that I liked the way Bellamy's name felt rolling off my tongue. "You know that stupid thing I said I did that almost destroyed me and Eric?" the confusion is yet again clear on my face. She starts giggling uncontrollably, furthering my confusion. She chokes out in between giggles, and I barley make out the words," That stupid thing I did was Bellamy" And although I felt my stomach drop, I pushed the sinking feeling aside, and joined her, both of us unable to control the laughter erupting from both of us, the alcohol taking over.